Ep #028 | 6 Science-Based Practices for Improving Sexual Health & Vitality After 40 | Dr. Amy Killen

If you think about many men and women today, after the age of 40, we often believe that sex is no longer going to be as pleasurable. So many men over 40 believe that they need supplements like Viagra. But the truth is very different. The truth is, with the right solutions, you can be 50 or 60 and you can have the sex of a 20 something. So we're going to be looking at four massive myths that really will slow you down and disrupt your sex life. If you believe these myths, we're going to attempt to dismantle these four myths, and then you're going to learn six strategies that you can be looking into to ensure that even in your later years, sex is still one of the most incredible aspects of your life. I'm here with Dr. Amy Killen. She has been featured in the Mindvalley documentary with DNA Films Longevity. She has been on stage at a fest. And what makes Amy so incredible in the world today is that she is really a leader in the field of sexual regenerative medicine. And her work is helping people, Even in their 80s, rediscover the power of sex to reignite relationships, to bring joy into their life, and to keep them feeling younger and healthier as they age. Oh, by the way, we are filming here in Park City, Utah, at Dorcera Clinic. This is an incredible facility. Dave Asprey popularized this in his books. And this is where you guys actually do really advanced treatments to reverse aging, such as full body stem cell makeovers.

Yes, which you're gonna get here in a little while.

Which I'm about to do after we shoot this episode. So first, let's talk about. Let's talk about the truth behind sex in our later years.

So the truth is that sex actually can continue to be just as good or even better as you get older if you approach it in the right way. I feel like a lot of us, you know, we get our sexual education that we get is, you know, in fifth grade and we learned about sexually transmitted illnesses and how to avoid pregnancy, and that's kind of it. And then after that, like, no one ever talks about it anymore. And so I think if people learn actually about how to be sexually healthy and how to take care of their sexual systems, there actually is the possibility of having amazing sex, like, well into your 70s, 80s and beyond.

So what are some of the big myths? What are some of the. And as we sat down before this interview, Amy blew my mind because she explained four beliefs that we have in society, not just American society, but society all around the world, that really cause our sex lives to diminish as we get older. Let's start with the first big myth.

So I think one of the first big myths is that every guy over the age of 35 or 40 needs Viagra to have good erections. This is something that the pharmaceutical companies would love for you to believe, but it's something that's not actually true. There are a lot of other things that men can do to actually repair or generate the tissue of the penis that will allow them to have great erections without Viagra, if they want that.

Now, are they side effects to using Viagra?

There are some side effects for sure. Dizziness, flushing, headaches is a big one. There can be some other problems with heart medications and things. I see in general, Viagra is pretty healthy, but a lot of men don't like having to take a pill 30 minutes or an hour before sex and having to plan it out and having to.

The psychological impact of that tells you that something about you is no longer working.

Exactly. And people become psychologically reliant on it, too. They just get used to taking it. And even they don't even need it. They take it because they're like, what if I don't take it? What's going to happen this time? It's not going to work. And then there's a whole thing that goes wrong. So I think if you can repair and regenerate and stay on top of it, it's actually a better way to go. Although I'm not opposed to Viagra and those medications at all.

I see, I see. So that's the first big myth right now. Have you seen patients in their 60s, 70s, and 80s who had remarkable erections without Viagra?

Yes.

What is it that they're doing differently?

So we're going to talk about some of those sort of six solutions that I have. Basically a whole body approach that we can use to help people, no matter what age, have great sex. And we'll talk about that.

So we'll be coming up to that now. What is the second big myth?

Second myth is that women don't have any options, that men have Viagra, but women don't have anything. And I think that that is true on some levels. There's not a lot of pharmaceutical agents that are actually all that effective for women, but there are actually quite a few things now, outside of pharmaceuticals that can be effective to help women also have great sex.

I see. Outside of pharmaceuticals. So it almost seems like the pharmaceutical industry has drilled it into us that we need to pop A pill to have great sex.

Exactly.

But what you're about to suggest is that they are completely alternative ways that do not require pills at all.

Yes, exactly.

All right. The third myth.

The third myth is that erectile dysfunction is irreversible, that once you have it, you have it. I think that a lot of men think that once they have Ed, they're stuck with it forever. But this is actually something that we've been able to reverse now.

Wow. Okay. And the fourth myth.

And the fourth myth is that just in general, your sex deteriorates with age. That it's. You know, that. That it becomes boring. That it becomes something that. That we are. We. We do because we feel like we have to do it, but it's not actually enjoyable or fun, and that things are going to get worse as you get older.

Wow. So if you look at this, a lot of this has been marketed to us.

Yes.

The first idea is that men, if you can't get it up, something is wrong with you. You need to dish out money to big pharma and get a pill.

Exactly.

And these pills definitely have their advantages in some ways, but there's a psychological impact of taking that pill which says that you're broken. And the pill also causes us to ignore actual solutions that can get our body functioning in its full capacity. Then the second myth is that women believe that they have no options, which, in fact, they do. The third myth is that erectile dysfunction is permanent, when, in fact, it can be reversed. And the fourth myth is that sex gets worse and no longer as amazing as you get older. In reality, it can be the exact opposite. As you get older, sex can get better and better.

Yes.

So let's talk about the solutions.

Okay, so there are six solutions that I think that if you know these six solutions and that you can actually make a big impact on sex. So we start with number one. The first one is mind. Your mind is what I say. So mind. Your mind is basically just be aware that your brain is actually your largest and most important sex organ, that everything that happens down below start. Starts up in your brain. And so you really want to be in the right mindset. The biggest sex killer that I see out there is actually stress, and sort of the abundance of stress that we have and our inability to deal with that in a way that makes us able to have sex properly. So sex, or, sorry, stress, is going to affect our hormones, our sex hormones. So it's going to decrease your ability to make things like testosterone, which you need to be able to have Erections, it's going to affect women's hormones as well. Testosterone, estrogen, things like that. Stress is also going to put you in this sort of fight or flight state, you know, this sort of sympathetic state where your, your blood vessels are diverting blood to like your brain and your heart and the key organs, but they're diverting blood away from your sexual organs. So if you're in that fight or flight state, you're actually not physically capable most of the time of having sex. Because from, from an evolutionary standpoint, if you're running from, you know, a tiger and you're scared and you're, you're, you know, you're super stressed out, you're also not having sex at that same time. So it's important to put yourself in the right mindset to deal with stress and emotional things and things in the mind to be able to get to a place where sex is actually really good.

That's fascinating. So does this apply to women as well?

Absolutely. Probably even more so. But women especially need to get in the right sort of head space in order to have a satisfying sexual experience.

Okay, so let's go deeper in that. So one of the first things is, I've noticed that myself. I've noticed that when I'm having a really stressful time, sex is much harder. As a man, I'm 43 years old, I've noticed that if I'm going through extreme stress, it's harder to get it up. Right. And so I can imagine that women go through the same problem. Now, how would you look at this? Well, one of the things to remember is to have practices in your life to make you more resilient to stress. This includes supplements. I found, for example, that 5 HTP makes me more stress resilient. It elevates moods, and of course, core thing everyone has to be doing is meditation. Listen to Emily Fletcher's M Word. The M Word program is a 30 day program that will make you immune to stress by teaching you the right meditation practices. All of this have been scientifically validated. Now, another really worthwhile lesson here, this is for men and women, comes from Bibi Brzhowska. Bibi Brzoska is the director of wellness at the Nomad Wellness Facility in Tulum. So I recently saw her speak on sexual health and one of the things she said is that it is very common sometimes when you're over 40 for a man to not be able to have a full erection. She said, women, firstly, don't make the men feel guilty and men do not feel guilty. It's perfectly normal. And Bibi in her lecture said that even if you have a semi erection, if the woman can gently accept that semi erect penis inside her, the, the energy of the woman can cause the penis to become fully erect while the penis is inside her. So she said it's very important for both the woman to not feel that her man is not turned on, and it's normal for the man to not feel that anything is wrong. But know that by coming together, the energies of each other can cause a semi erect penis to become fully erect inside. Let's go on to the second big tip.

Second one is basically just, you know, be healthy. And this is something that we all we know is true, but that sexual health relies very heavily on blood flow, blood flow getting down to your sexual organs. And as we get older, and especially if we're less healthy, we have more inflammation. Those arteries that supply the blood are going to be filled with plaque with atherosclerosis. And atherosclerosis is, you know, a big killer of blood flow. So basically you have narrowing, narrowing of those arteries. So, you know, things we all know about, you know, cutting out sugar, getting your blood pressure down, working on your cholesterol, exercising, you know, all of these things are really important to decrease inflammation on a whole body level, but specifically so that we can optimize blood flow into the areas where we want them into the genitalia.

I see. So what are some of the practices that you recommend that men and women look into?

I mean, some of the most common sense things are going to give you the most bang for your buck. So exercising every day or most days, meditation and having a mindful practice is actually really important for inflammation as well. A diet that's low in sugar and sort of a low glycemic diet, you. There are lots of diets out there and certainly I won't argue about the best one, but I will say that sugar is one of the worst things that you can do for your body, for your blood vessels, for all kinds of things. It causes a lot of inflammation, making sure that you're active, avoiding obesity. Obesity and extra weight gain is going to cause even more inflammation and it's going to cause even more increase in atherosclerosis in those blood vessels. And then smoking is awful for your blood vessels. I always talk to patients and I tell them, I think that if cigarette boxes had a picture of a limp penis in the front of them, then people would understand what smoking actually does for you because it's Horrible for sexual function.

Okay, so here's some options, here's some options that you guys can look at. Firstly, I'm not a big fan of diets because the diet industry typically is an industry where the average American has to be on five diets across their lifetime. You tend to. Many diets actually do not have much of a long term impact on weight loss. Wildfit, however, is an exception. It is not a diet. It's a way of retraining the brain in terms of your approach to food. And as a result, after 90 days, you tend to lose a lot of weight. Now, so we spoke about giving up sugar, we spoke about exercise. What are some of your favorite practices?

I do those things. I also really like to do yoga. And that's sort of a mindfulness in combination with exercise. And you're also getting the heat. And so there's the heat shock, protein activation, which can be really good for general longevity. We know now that putting your body in stressful situations, whether it's heat or cold or fasting or some of these things are really good for kicking up your longevity genes. So I like to do all of those kind of things. Make your body think that it needs some adversity, make it big.

Yoga is wonderful. Definitely. You guys should be having a yoga practice.

Yes, that's one of my favorites.

All right, let's go on to number three.

So number three is increased nitric oxide. So nitric oxide is the main chemical messenger that opens up your blood vessels and tells you, your body to, you know, to send blood into those blood vessels. And as we get older, you're actually making less and less nitric oxide. So by the time you're 40 years old, you're making about half as much nitric oxide as your 20 year old friends.

Now, where's nitric oxide coming from?

Perfect question. So a lot of it's made inside the blood vessels. So the actual cells that line the blood vessels are called endothelial cells and they make nitric oxide. But as you get older, you get inflammation in those cells, you get plaque building up in those cells and, and those cells become dysfunctional, so they can't make nitric oxide. So things like L arginine, which are in a lot of supplements, are supposed to boost nitric oxide. Those stop working very well after the age of 40. So what you can do after age of 40 or so is eat foods that are high in nitrates. So those are things like green leafy vegetables, beets, arugula, kale, those kind of things. Pomegranate dark chocolate even is high in nitrates. The trick to this is though, there are two other processes that have to be intact to be able to make nitric oxide from those nitrate rich foods. So one of them is you have to have healthy bacteria in your mouth that will do that. And when you are consuming a lot of mouthwash that's killing those bacteria, you actually are not able to make nitric oxide from that pathway.

That's amazing. So are you saying we should get rid of mouthwash?

I'm saying that you should get rid of the antiseptic mouthwashes, the ones that are killing. The ones that are really killing bacteria. Or, or at least don't use them every single day.

Like Listerine.

Yeah, yeah. There are studies that have shown that even a week of mouthwash use will raise your blood pressure and that's all nitric oxide dependent. So you're. Because you can't make your own nitric oxide. The second thing is you actually need stomach acid to make it. And a lot of people, millions of people across the world take medications to decrease their stomach acid. Those are things like Protonix and Zantac and, and over the counter medications as well as prescriptions that decreased stomach acid because they get heartburn. But those medications are actually decreasing your nitric oxide production. And again, it's really hard to make nitric oxide if you're older any other way. So that's the other thing.

So avoid those medications as well.

Avoid them or at least be careful with them. Talk to your doctor first. But those are things that, if you can get rid of them, it's much better for many things, but especially for nitric oxide production.

Now what, can we change things about our behavior and our eating to avoid those medications in the first place?

Yes and no. Unfortunately, our food supply, depending on where you are regionally in the world, is going to have different amounts of nitrate in there. And they've actually taken samples of say spinach in one part of the US versus the other part of the US and there are vastly different amounts of nitrate, nitrates in the same spinach. So a lot of it has to do with, you know, soil conditions and things like that. And actually even organic spinach doesn't have any more or less than non organic when it comes to nitrates. So, you know, obviously get the best quality food that you can, but you still have to have the things in your body to be able to break that food down.

So what are some of the foods we should be focused on?

So the things like that like arugula, kale, spinach, beets are great for nitric oxide. For nitric oxide. Those are some of the big sort of heavy hitters for this space.

Amazing, Amazing. Now, are there any supplements that you would suggest?

Yeah, there are several out there. My favorite, which I have no association with, is something called Neo40 by Dr. Nathan Bryan. He's a nitric oxide researcher. And it's a lozenge that you take and you just put it in your mouth twice a day, and you can actually measure your salivary nitric oxide levels during the day and see them go up.

I see. And you're saying this is a direct correlation with your sexual health?

Exactly, yeah.

Awesome.

Yeah. So number four is hormone optimization, or getting your hormones at the levels you want them to be. One thing that happens as we get older is our hormone levels, like our testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, they all start to decline. That's true for men and for women, but we actually know that if you have sort of more normal or at least high normal levels of some of those hormones, you can have a lot of health benefits down the road. And you can do these through various sort of natural ways to boost your hormones, or you can do it with. With hormone supplementation with other bioidentical hormones and things like that. But for men, for instance, after the age of 40, you're losing testosterone about 1% per year. So it's just going to continue to go down. And we also know that men's testosterone now is quite a bit lower than it was 50 years ago. That just on a global level, our testosterone is going down.

What's the cause for that?

I think it's multifold, but I think it's a combination of lifestyle. We have more men who are overweight and obese, which is going to decrease testosterone. More men who have diabetes, which is also going to decrease testosterone. A lot of environmental toxins and endocrine disruptors out there are also influencing our body's ability to make testosterone. So it's a matter of what's happening to us and also the choices that we're making every day.

I see. And are there any corrective action that men can take to increase testosterone?

Yeah, absolutely. There are a lot of things. Getting workouts in, making sure you're lifting heavy weights and getting. Going to the gym frequently, it can help. Getting enough branched chain amino acids, getting enough vitamin D. In fact, you know, you can go outside and just getting like 10 or 20 minutes of sun exposure can significantly increase your testosterone levels. Having sex can Increase your testosterone levels. Getting enough sleep is really important. I don't have that as one of my six solutions, but if I probably should. But sleeping, you know, that's where a lot of your hormones are made. And those of us who have disrupted sleep are not making things like test testosterone and growth hormones and some of those things as well. So sleeping is really important. And those are the main things. Exercising, sleeping, getting some sun, things like that.

Let's look at exercise and sleep. So when it comes to sleep, the best program on sleep in The World is Dr. Michael Bruce's sleep optimization program here on Mindvalley. This will not just boost testosterone, but give you all the good chemicals you need to function incredibly in the world.

And then for women, we see, in women Starting about age 30 or so, we see some changes in progesterone. It starts to go down, testosterone starts to go down, which is also important for women. And then certainly after menopause, estrogen goes way down and can really affect sex. It can make sex more painful, it can affect sexual organs. So just being aware of those hormones and getting those checked with your doctor and then maybe either doing some lifestyle changes or getting on medication can be really helpful.

Amazing. All right, now, what's the fifth practice?

The fifth one is utilizing light, heat and sound. This is kind of a broad category, but there are actually a number of therapies out there that you would do most of them with a physician, but that are very safe, that have kind of revolutionized sexual health. So there's shockwave therapy, which uses sound waves. So it uses high intensity sound waves, studied most often in men, but also useful in women. But basically send sound waves into the penis. And which sort of begins this whole cascade of events that leads to improved blood flow, new blood vessel formation, stem cell recruitment, better nitric oxide. And essentially, after a series of treatments, about 65 to 90% of men will have significant improvements in erections. These are like 30 minute, non invasive, in and out, super safe. You just go in and you get some sound therapy and it's super easy.

Amazing.

And it's great for men and women.

Now how would we find that? How would we find those facilities?

So if you look up low intensity shockwave therapy, it's being done all over the world, but it's actually been was pioneered In Europe about 10 or so years ago for erectile dysfunction. And now we're starting to use it for women as well. Because the anatomy is a little different, but it's actually fairly simple.

And how long does that process take?

It Takes. So you want to do about six treatments. Each treatment is about 30 minutes. And you do it over the course of like three weeks.

Amazing.

So you go in for 30 minutes, you get a treatment, you go home, you go to lunch, you go have sex, go to the gym, whatever. You do that for the three weeks and then it's good for about a year. So, you know, you'll continue to have aging, but if you can stay on top of it and get these treatments occasionally, then it'll significantly improve.

But what exactly are these shockwaves doing to you?

So it's just sending these sound waves, almost like these high vibrational sound waves into the tissue. And that disruption actually sends out a bunch of repair signals. So it's not actually hurting doing any significant damage, but it's almost tricking your body into thinking there was a damage. And so you send out all these growth factors and these repair signals. You bring in stem cells, you bring in new blood vessels and new blood flow, and you increase local nitric oxide.

So what are some of the physical changes that a man or woman might notice after this treatment?

So for men, very commonly, increase in strength of erections, ability to last longer, decreased refractory period in between erections, improve sensitivity, improve pleasure. You know, those are the things I see every single day. And a women, again, not studied quite as much, but the same kinds of things, just more, you know, better sensation, more pleasure, better orgasm, you know, better blood flow to that area. So there are a couple other things that we can use as well. We can use heat, heat energy and lasers, radio frequency. These are all again, treatments that you do at a doctor's office. But like for women, for instance, there are vaginal lasers, vaginal radiofrequency treatments, even take home light, red light therapy, vaginal devices.

And these are all based on the same theories?

Yes. Essentially we're basically causing some kind of harm that's not real harm, but some kind of injury. And that injury then tricks your body into thinking that you need to repair it. And in repairing it, you're actually creating newer, healthier, more youthful tissue.

I see. So if we were googling this, what would be a Google search term we should put.

You could search for women, you could search vaginal regeneration or rejuvenation. There's some great take home devices that you can actually get online that you just get it and you send it to your house and you just do it in your own house. Like the VFit plus is a great one for that. Or you can go to your doctors and you can get actual treatments where you're there for 30 minutes or so.

And you can check. Do you have a preference between heat, sound, or light?

I like to use them in combination, but it really depends on the person, what they're looking for. There's not for men, it's mostly the sound. It's mostly the shockwave therapy. For women, there are a number of other things available.

Amazing. I've never even heard of that stuff. Let's go on to the sixth item.

All right, and the sixth one is stem cells and regenerative medicine. So using regenerative medicine as a way to, again, to kind of regenerate that tissue and heal ourselves and revitalize tissue.

Okay, so let's talk about that, because I'm about to be having that procedure tomorrow.

Yes. So stem cells are your body's master cells. If they're in every cell in your body, they're responsible for the upkeep of those organs. And as you get older, your stem cells become less active, and you also have less of them in all different parts of your body. So some of these stem cell procedures, essentially, we're using either growth factors or stem cells themselves. We're taking them from somewhere, either from you or from somewhere else, injecting it into, say, your penis. And that's telling your cells that are already there to become more active, to increase blood flow, to increase the health of the cells that are there, to increase nerve regeneration. So essentially, repairing that tissue using your own body's abilities.

And what type of changes do people see?

So, same kinds of things for men. Improvements in erection strength, staying power, sensation, pleasure. And then same things for women. So just more pleasure, easier orgasms, lubrication, tightness, those kinds of things.

Science is amazing, and there are so many incredible solutions you can look at if you want to improve the quality of your sex life. Anything else to add?

I don't think so. I think, you know, the keys are that you actually do have power, that you can do a lot to make yourself better without the help of anyone else. As long as you have education. And if you want to go an extra step and get some help from your doctor, we have a lot of resources for you.

Amazing. Thank you guys for tuning in.

Thank you.