Lisa Nichols describes a mirror exercise she used daily to recover from depression and an abusive relationship. Stand before a mirror, say your name, then complete three sentences starting with "I'm proud that you," "I forgive you for," and "I commit to you that," each with seven different endings spoken aloud each morning.
Chapters
This is one of my favorite exercises, and I gotta tell you why. Over 17 years ago, I was madly in love, and I was prepared to marry this man. And I felt signs of emotional abuse, but I didn't really know what it looked like. And then it became verbal abuse, and it was pretty clear. But nothing became more clear than when my fiance at the time picked me up and threw me three feet across the room. And then he choked me until I passed out. I was able to get up and get out of the relationship, but something in me felt like it had died away. A piece of belief, a piece of hope, trust in myself. I was so angry at Lisa. How could you get yourself in this abusive relationship? Why didn't you see it coming? And at the time, my son was 3 years old, so I felt like I'd endangered my child, which I had. And, man, I was so angry, scared, frustrated, broken. I was everything. I was a hot mess. But I also was clear that I wasn't going to live the rest of my life like that. And so I sought help. I went to the doctor at my mom's advice, and my doctor said, lisa, you're clinically depressed. Clinically depressed. And me, in the same sentence, thought I'd never hear those words. And then she held up a position. She put a prescription in front of me. And I read the prescription, and it said, lisa Nichols, Prozac. Prozac, Lisa Nichols. I need Prozac. I asked my doctor, okay, I'm willing to take the medication, but can I try something else first? She said, you have 30 days. 30 days to do whatever it is that you're gonna do. And in 30 days, I need to see you back in my office. And if you haven't gotten better, I need you to get on your medication asap. So I went away and I did this exercise. So I want to give this exercise to you. Because when I came back in 30 days with no artificial. I'm okay, really, just organically being me. My doctor asked me three questions. What have you been doing? Who taught you that? And can I get your notes? Because you're completely different. I never had to take the medication. I'm not inviting you to get off any medication if you're on it for me. My doctor told me I was okay. But this exercise was one of three exercises that I did. So I want you to do them to find your authentic self, to find your voice, to get intimately connected with you. This particular exercise turned my crawl into a walk, turn my walk into a run, and turn my run Into a sore. So I want you to get into the mirror, and I want you to complete three sentences. Now, with each one of the sentences, I want you to have seven different endings. Seven different endings. Okay? And I want you to do this exercise every single day for the duration of this program. Every single day. Remember, I was trying to find my life again, so I don't know where you are, but I needed to find my voice, and my voice had left me. I didn't even know it had left me. So I did it for six months. I'm only asking you to do it for the duration of this program. I want you to look in the mirror, and I want you to state your name. I want you to talk to yourself and as if you're talking to your best friend. So I want you to look at yourself with love. I want you to look at you the way you're looking at me right now. Right? And I want you to say your name. So for me, I'd say, lisa, I'm proud that you. The first sentence is, I'm proud that you. So say your name and say, I'm proud that you. Looking into your eyes. And when you do this, you might immediately feel the tears well up because it's been a long time since you've been with you. You've been with everyone else, but you haven't been with you. Not in this way. Wow. Watch this. So say your name. Say, I'm proud that you with seven different endings that you're proud of yourself for. Now, you might need to go back 10 years, 20 years, because you haven't celebrated yourself for so many things. When I first did this, I said, lisa, I'm proud of you for getting the lead role in the wizard of Oz. In second grade, I didn't realize how much I wanted to be acknowledged for that. My parents didn't come out to the play. They were at work. No one knew I was in the play, so no one knew I had the lead role. And then I said things like, lisa, I'm proud that you're even in the mirror today. Lisa, I'm proud that you had the wherewithal to get out of the relationship. Lisa, I'm proud that you're giving yourself a chance at discovering your voice. Lisa, I'm proud that you work every day to be a great mom. Lisa, I'm proud that you are willing to ask for help. So seven different endings. What are you proud of? The second sentence. Now, this one might take you to your knees. At least it took me to my Knees. I wasn't even audible when I said this sentence, but I became audible over the days and weeks and months. So it doesn't matter how you start. What matters that you keep going. The second sentence. Lisa, I forgive you for. Say your name. And I forgive you for seven different endings. Say the things that you thought you'd take to your grave that no one else would hear because it's just you with you. Say your name. I forgive you for. So for me, it was, Lisa, I forgive you for getting in an unhealthy relationship. I forgive you for being so lonely that you lower your bar of who deserves you. Lisa, I forgive you for staying when you knew it was time to leave. Forgive yourself. Seven different endings. And the third sentence. Say your name. And now you make a bold declaration to yourself. I commit to you that I commit to you that I would say, Lisa, I commit to you that today I will only say yes when I want to say yes, and I'll say no when I need to say no. Lisa, I commit to you that today I will stand in my greatness. And when the negative chatter kicks in today, I'll press pause. Lisa, I commit to you that from this point forward, I'll be your biggest cheerleader. Feel free to use any of my statements. These are all true things that I needed to say at one point in time in my life. Remember, seven different endings. But each day you can say the thing you said the day before. It doesn't matter. Day after day after day, you can repeat what you said the day before just each day. I want you to find seven different endings. I want you to do this in the mirror every single day before you start your day. I want you to own your truth in such a way that you inspire others to own their truth. I want you to stand in your dark places as well as standing your light places with ownership, authenticity, and power.
