Three stages to move through after a breakup: accept the relationship has changed, harvest lessons and growth from it, then forgive yourself and your ex. Write down what you learned to fight the urge to remember only the bad parts.
Chapters
In relationship because people really want to know, how do you get through a broken relationship? Basically, there are three stages in that. The first stage is acceptance. You have to actually come to grips and accept that this relationship is forever changed. It's not going to be the same as it was before. That means you can't go into wishful thinking. I wish I would have done something differently. I wish I was somebody else. I wish I somewhere else. You can't let the mind run off into wishful thinking. You have total acceptance. This relationship is changed forever. What might have been a marriage may transition into a friendship. It may transition into a business relationship may transition into something we don't know. But it's different. It's not going to be the same. And so first is acceptance. Second is harvest the good, meaning you go through the relationship and you see everything you learned in it. You know, who was I when I came into this relationship? Who am I now? What have I learned? What lessons have I learned? How have I changed what little nuance of me is now available now that wasn't available when I first came into this relationship? How did I grow up? Harvesting the good. Harvesting the good. That's stage two. Stage three, forgive all the rest. You forget, you know. So these are stages that you have to go through one at a time. Wow. You know, you can do them simultaneously, but it's not a one and done kind of thing. Because acceptance may take a moment. Oh, if only I would have done such and such, we could have stayed together. If only she hadn't done such and such, we could have stayed together, you know, so you have to really come to an acceptance. This is done. This is no longer going to be the same. So the mind doesn't run off on tributaries of wishful thinking. Then you really start to harvest the good. You know, what did I learn? Where did I grow? You know, how am I a better person because of this relationship? And then you can actually write that down. You can start, oh, my God. Because sometimes in going through the process, your mind focuses on all the negative, you know, so this shows you that that relationship was not a waste of time. You learned A, B, C and D. You're going to have that forever. You're going to have that lesson forever. Even though the person may not be in your life in the same way.
