Vishen Lakhiani describes being unfuckwithable as a state where external negativity can't touch you. He traces how it works backwards: conditioning creates holes in us that we try to fill with approval. A 1991 story about memorizing Vanilla Ice lyrics to fit in shows how that need for validation warps who we actually are.
Chapters
Unfuck with the bill is a word that originated on the Internet. I guess nobody really knows where it came from, but in Internet memes, it means, when you're truly at peace and in touch with yourself, nothing anyone says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you. Isn't that beautiful? So all of us, as we grow up, we, through the conditioning of our parents, of our society, of media, we develop these holes within our being. And unfuckwithable is really about going from these holes to being whole. See, in the book, I share a really interesting story about the time I was a teenager. And this is a classic idea of how as we go through life, we crave attention, praise, we crave recognition from other people because we, on our own, do not feel complete. I tell a story about how I was in college, not college, but high school. And I was walking up and I saw the cool kids sitting together. Now, this was 1991. Number one song on the radio was Ice, Ice Baby by this incredible white rapper called Vanilla Ice, right? Well, back then he was considered a genius. And I see all of these kids, their baseball caps turned backwards, rapping, Ice, Ice, Baby. Now, to fit in, I had gone and I memorized the entire lyrics. So I came in there, I saw them rapping, and I decided to just cut in and let out that line that I knew, and I completely messed up the line.
And then I remember the cool girl.
In that group who was trying to impress turned to me and goes, jeez, what a nerd.
And then she did that thing, you.
Know, where women roll their eyes. And that completely crushed me. I couldn't talk to her for, like, the rest of my teenage years. I couldn't connect with anyone in that group. I was reduced to nerdiness because I could not quote Mr. Vanilla Ice properly.
That's it. But here's the funny thing about that. To this day, I'm 40 years old.
And that moment was so painful, I. To this day, in my mind, in my mind, I have this thing in my mind where my mind is going, you will never fuck that up again. You will never fuck that up again.
So the entire lyrics for Ice, Ice.
Baby are in my head, right?
All right, stop, collaborate and listen. Ice is back with his brand new invention. Something grab a hold of you tightly Flow like a harpoon Deadly and nightly Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know Check out my dance and I'll flow to the extreme I rock a mic like a bangle.
Light up the stage and wrecks a chump like a candle.
All right, stop. That was embarrassing. But, you see, it makes no sense. And I could go on and I could go on and on and on, but it makes no sense.
Of all the bloody songs I could commit to memory.
Why would I commit that piece of crap?
But that's what this desire for approval, for validation, makes you do. It makes you do things that often don't make sense. Because you need to feel whole to prove something to someone else. And this is why unfuckwithable is such an important idea.
