Lisa Nichols argues that children's honesty, quick forgiveness, and curiosity can transform how we communicate. She introduces "carefrontation," challenging others from a place of love, and shows through stories how reclaiming that transparency lets us speak and love more authentically.
Chapters
Orators like small children who say the wisest and funniest things in their transparency. My nephew was sitting on my great Uncle Leonard's lap. And my great Uncle Leonard, he smoked cigars for like every year of my life. And I at the time was like 19, and I never saw him without a cigar. So Uncle Leonard smelled like a what? A really old cigar. And everyone knew Uncle Leonard smelled like a cigar, but no one had the courage to tell Uncle Leonard that he smelled like a cigar. You guys, everybody has had Uncle Leonard somewhere in your life, right? Because Uncle Leonard was my grandmother's brother, so he had clout. Well, Jamil was three, so he didn't know. He hasn't been introduced to being politically correct yet, thank God, right? So Jamil is sitting on my Uncle Leonard's lap and we're all talking. And Jamil stops in the middle of a sentence and he goes. And the first time he sniffed, no big deal. But the second and the third time, then in his little three year old voice, Uncle Yannard, you tink. And you can hear a pin drop in the room. And everyone in that moment was grateful that they were not Jamil's mother. And we all gazed at her. Bad mom. Bad mom. The next thing that fell out of Uncle Leonard's mouth shocked us all. He looked at Jamil with a long gaze, kind of not knowing what's about to happen gaze. And he said, jamil, I think you're right. I think I tink for the first time in my entire life. Uncle Leonard put out his cigar. And the next time we saw Uncle Leonard, it smelled like he had just been washed for days. He was always clean, but his clothes just smelled like old cigars. And it was very clear that he got new clothes. See the freedom that a child has, the truth that they stand with. I want to take you on a journey back to that level of truth. I want to take you on a journey on why they say, think like a child. Don't act like a child, but think like a child. Be as free as a child. See, children have a sense of curiosity. Children forgive sooner, quicker, faster. And if you want something new to come out of your voice, you have to put something new in you in terms of a commitment. My son, like, I would watch the way he would forgive me. He did something wrong one day and I had to reprimand him. And I immediately felt guilty. And I'm in my office, he's like 4 years old, and I'm looking on my computer and I'm crying cause I'M single mother guilt entrepreneur. And I'm like. And he comes around the corner. He goes, mommy. And I just reprimanded him. He's on a timeout and all this stuff. And I'm upset, I'm crying, he's okay. And he comes around the corner and I'm. And he says, mommy, Mommy. I was like, yes. Do you want to lay down with me? Yes. And he goes, and he lays out this little skinny arm, and I put my big old head on that arm. There's something that happens when we allow ourselves to sit inside freedom, sit inside transparency. Sit inside what I like to call carefrontation. Hmm. That means I might push up against you a little bit. I might make you mildly to moderately to significantly uncomfortable in any form of mediocracy. But it's out of the spirit of love you want to inspire people with your voice. From your child to your sibling to your significant other to your community to the world, to this room. Be willing to love me enough to tell me your truth. Then love me enough to tell me my truth. Then love me enough to just tell me the truth and be willing to touch the edge of your own comfort zone. You show me yours, and I'll show you mine. You show me your heart, and I'll show you my love. You let me know that you're willing to be imperfect and still have a perfectly giving, so loving life. Then you give me permission to let my imperfection out into the world too. See, you want to speak at another level, you got to be willing to love at another level. Forgive at another level, show up at another level, speak up at another level, pray at another level. You have to be willing on every level to up level who you be on a daily basis. I'm just saying.
