Linda Clemons, a body-language expert, explains how to spot deception through facial expressions. The eyebrow flash signals surprise or intrigue. She notes we use 27 to 37 of our 43 facial muscles regularly, and warns that Botox dulls these tells. When someone goes silent, that's often an answer in itself.
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If you ask me, Linda, are you African American? Are you black? Am I going to say sort of, kind of cafe latte? No. So I got to tell you a couple things before I get started. I travel around the world as a sales and body language expert. And it's fun because I had a chance to share the stage with presidents, secretary of state, politicians. And as long as there are politicians around, I'll probably be working forever. And just wonderful people, just like you. And what's so interesting is that even though I work for lawyers and they bring me in to help them with jury selection and CEOs and C suite, my girlfriends and my guy friends call me all the time. When they have someone new in their life, they invite me out to dinner as their human lie detector. So I gotta tell you a quick story. So one of my girlfriends, she called me up and it's been a while. And a conversation goes something like, it's Linda, I've just. Just for some reason, you were on my mind, and I was just thinking about you. You were in my spirit. And the first thing I said, who is he? Who is he right now? And I said, now, you know the deal, you know the drill. You know the kind of places I like to eat. I love to eat at Shushu Poopoo restaurants. I want the best and everything. So if we're gonna go, this is the third time that you've done this. I hope this man is the one. So I go to my favorite Shushu Pupu restaurant, sitting near the bay window. As a matter of fact, I think there was a Picasso painting that was there. She walks in with her new gentleman and she does this thing here. Now, fellas, I'm going to be sharing language with you. That's universal with the women around the world. So she walks in and goes like this, you're here. What a surprise. Why don't you join us? And the girl guy is standing there like, okay, I thought this was you and I. What's going on? So I'm sitting at the table, leaning in and says, oh, my gosh, that the crab cakes, they look good. There's a special and this. And all of a sudden, you know, he's sitting there, nice looking gentleman. And I decide to ask a few questions. Your answer is in the question very important in nonverbal communication. The eyebrow flash. So imagine you're in a networking room and you were invited to a special event, and you really don't know anyone there. And then all of a sudden you see a familiar face. Like, I see Osteo and I go, hey, the eyebrows go up. Eyebrows go up when you're excited, surprise, intrigue, or curious. All right, so, so, so set the. So set the tone right there, right? Eyebrows go up. So it's called an eyebrow flash, right? So I did this. Watch, watch, watch. So, okay, see the tone? So everybody do this with me. Go. So, okay, so how long? Smile. I'm using my zygomatic major muscles, my bicillary oculi muscles right here at the eye. By the way, for some of you ladies, you're very beautiful, but some of Botox, understand, if you do Botox, what's going to happen? It deadens the muscles that are right here. We have 43 facial muscles. We use anywhere from 27 to 37 of them that make at least 10,000 different expressions. I believe women can make 20,000 more. That's just my opinion. So here's what happens. When you have the Botox, then you cannot get the animation that you need. Some actresses like Meryl Streep, they don't want her to have any kind of surgery because they need that animation. So just imagine if you just want to won, ladies and fellas, too, if you just won $10 million and someone says, are you excited? If you have muscles that are dead in here, it looks like, yes, yes, I'm excited. I am. It's trying to come out. Can you see, Linda? Are you excited? Yes. I can't come out. So I'm sitting at the table and I go like this. So how long have you and my friend been dating? And then he said, well, about two, maybe three months. I said, oh, okay. In a neutral voice. Okay. Then I went in for the second one. Lot of control. So. So have you ever been married before? Crickets. Silence. Silence is an answer. Let us sink in. Silence is an answer. So he got really silent, awkward. And then he made a comment and said, sort of, if you ask me, Linda, are you African American? Are you black? Am I going to say sort of, kind of cafe latte? No. So next thing you know, let's get fast forward to the story. She says, you know what? I've got to go to the ladies room. See? Okay, fellas are wondering, like, what is going on here? I've got to go to the ladies room. And I'm sending this upstairs, around the corner. Just pass. I take a short ride. Then all of a sudden, she gives me this look that goes like this. I've got to go to the ladies room. Ladies. What does that mean universally? Come go with me. It doesn't matter where you are from around the world, ladies. No, it's our signal. And the guys are going like, I don't ever say, yo, Joe, I gotta go to the men's room. Come go with me. I know. Maybe some of you do. That's a special signal. So we go to the ladies room. And then she says, okay, what do you think? And I said to her, you know, you've only been together for a couple of months. It's like, not you're going down the aisle, you know, it's not that you're gonna get married, and it's not that you're planning to have kids, you know? So don't even think about the fact that he started to thigh cleanse. When I started to ask him several other questions, I said there was a couple things that I noticed, but don't worry. There might have been signs, of course, in fidelity there could be signs of deception, but you're not getting married. And by the way, the crab cakes are on sale. Let's get back to what's important. And whatever you do, don't say a word till after 24 to 48 hours, because our emotions can get the best of us.
