A YouTube talk urging people to actively heal after romantic breakups rather than passively waiting for time to "fix" things. The speaker argues that unprocessed heartbreak can lead to prolonged/complicated grief—diminishing joy, trust and future capacity to love—and promotes using grief as a catalyst for post-traumatic growth. The chunk ends with a call-to-action inviting viewers to a free Mindvalley masterclass.
Chapters
I'm sure you're familiar with the idea that time heals everything. Yet if your leg was broken, would you just let time heal it? I want you to treat your heart with the same level of care that you would your leg. Otherwise your heart might be in danger of feeling a little too closed, a little bit crooked, and a little too easily bruised moving forward, which is the heart's equivalent of walking with a limp for the rest of your life. See, time doesn't heal everything. We do. Time can diminish the acuteness of the pain that you're in and reduce it to a low grade depression where you can start functioning again, where your appetite returns and you can finally start sleeping through the night. But in the end, the heartbreak will have stolen your joy, contracted your heart, and dimmed down your chances for love in your future. There's a movement afoot in the therapeutic community to have prolonged grief disorder, which is also known as complicated grief. Complicated grief is described by the Mayo Clinic as a chronic heightened state of mourning that's characterized by numbness, intense longing, irritability, purposelessness, depression, and a lack of trust in others. It's being stuck in the sinkhole of lingering regret, sorrow and shame, with life as void of joy as it is of hope that things will ever get better. See, we're all a little at risk to have this experience because the loss of a loving relationship is one of the hardest things that some of us will ever have to go through. And frankly, it can break your spirit every bit as much as it can break your heart. Yet rather than getting stuck in the post traumatic stress disorder experience, I want to help you use your disappointment to catalyze what Dr. Lawrence Calhoun calls post traumatic growth instead. That's where you're empowered to use the grief of your breakup to graduate yourself forever from any painful patterns in love that you have ever struggled with. To learn the lessons that can ensure that you will never again make these same mistakes. To use heartache to deepen your ability to love yourself and to break your heart open to a greater capacity to love and be loved by others, we want you empowered to complete your relationship in a way that leaves you truly free from festering resentment or unresolved hurt so that you're not carrying that unfinished business into your next relationship and then limiting what's possible for you in love moving forward, we want you empowered to move through this experience from the highest and the best of who you are and not get caught up in the cultural current norm of hostile and antagonistic breakups. You See, breakups are a crossroads, and many will go on to live a lesser life in the aftermath of heartache. Don't be one of them. You're going to need to be proactive in some very particular ways to use heartache as a catalyst for your greatest transformation. And I would love to share those actions with you. I'd like to show you how to not just bounce back, but how to actually bounce forward. Join my free mindvalley masterclass, and I look forward to seeing you there.
