How You Should Network to Grow Your Business & Personal Brand

In a world where the difference between talent A and talent B is so minuscule, people choose you based on, are we going to have a fun time working with you? And you want to remember that if you can curate this ability to have people want to be in your presence, this becomes the third superpower. When I did my acting classes in la, I worked with this incredible acting coach called Bernard Hiller. And Bernard Hiller said this, in Hollywood, it's not who you know, it's do people want to know you? And then he brought up George Clooney as an example. He said, all the greats, they are superbly nice people. George Clooney once got into a fight with a director and apparently they were like fistboxing each other. Why? Because that director was mean to a couple of extras and George Clooney didn't like that. But it turns out that people like George Clooney, Ryan Reynolds, all the great stars are superbly nice and polite to everyone. Keanu Reeves is one of the kindest people alive. Read the stories about him. And in a world where talent, the difference between talent A and talent B is so minuscule, people choose you based on, are we going to have a fun time working with you? And you want to remember that. So if you can curate this ability to have people want to be in your presence, this becomes the third superpower. So I want to show you what I did, because I learned to use this to create networks. And I'm going to share with you a three minute video that shows you how I created these networks all around the world. So when I show up in LA or I show up in Dubai, extremely wealthy individuals give me their yachts or their homes and say, vishen, I want you to bring your entire network. I'm going to, you can use my home and let's celebrate together. So wherever I go, in any major city, I've hacked networking. And I want to show you how. And I want to show you how you can do it as well. Watch this video.

A lot of people know about my company, mindvalley, but many people don't know about a nonprofit that I run called the Gathering. And the Gathering is all about connecting fascinating people. So every time I meet someone that's fascinating to me, I do something really sneaky. Basically, I get their name, find them on Instagram or LinkedIn, I grab their picture, I put them in a database, and I put down little information about them, what they do, their bio, why I find them fascinating, the city that they live in. And I've built this database out to 700 fascinating people. Why am I collecting people in this weird, creepy way? Well, the reason is because 10 years ago, I was feeling really lonely and I was living in a city of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Didn't really have that many friends in that city.

And I wanted to meet interesting people, people who would inspire me. But since no one was inviting me to events, I was so far away from the United States, I decided to create my own communities. I started building this database of interesting people. And then if I was in the city or if I was traveling, I would host a dinner and I would invite people from that city who were in my database together. These people didn't know each other, but I would bring them together. I call this event the Gathering. And we would do a strange ritual. Everyone would stand in a circle and I would point to each person, appreciate them, and say one thing fascinating about them. All of a sudden, everyone at my gathering knew a little bit about the other person and now had something to talk about. And huge connections would form and I would be the center of all of these connections. All of a sudden, these gatherings started getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Soon, wherever I was traveling to, wealthy individuals would give me their homes, their yachts to conduct these gatherings. Because the people I brought in were truly unique. They were kind, they were loving, they had no ego. And they came with the idea to connect with other human beings and serve.

In Los Angeles, just before the pandemic.

Jarrod Butler gave me his huge mansion. I brought together 150 people in LA and so many close friendships were formed. More recently in Dubai, an incredible entrepreneur, Jimmy, who had learned about me through my books, gave me his yacht, the Chakra. We brought together close to 80 people. All of a sudden in this gathering on Jimmy's yacht, you'd have magicians like DMC or Julius Dean pop up and just do magic tricks. DJ Bliss, the number one musician in that area, showed up and started playing for us. All of these unique individuals come together and start co creating this beautiful atmosphere. But it all started out because I was once lonely, bored, and felt that I had no friends. The reason I share this story with you is because if you are feeling that way, I want you to practice this. Create your own gathering. All it takes is a willingness to connect people and serve. Many of us want friends. We want to be part of special events, but we don't make the initiative to actually create a database of fascinating people and then act as a host to bring these people together. When you connect people, you are giving someone the greatest gift you can give them. The gift of allies, friendship, sometimes even lovers. If you're feeling lonely, don't wait for someone to ask you out. If you feel that you're not meeting the right people, don't wait to be invited into some exclusive group. Start your own gatherings. Follow the model that I created. Start collecting people.

So if you feel lonely, if you.

Feel you're not being invited to events, if you feel that you're not meeting the right people, perhaps you might want to try something similar. Don't wait to be invited. Do the inviting. You may think that there's nothing special about you, but look, if you start collecting fascinating people, you instantly become special because you're the person with the list. Keep that in mind. When my US Visa ended and I had to leave the United States and go back to Malaysia, I started from scratch. I had no friends in Malaysia. It was that loneliness that was the spark that caused the gathering idea to emerge.

So did you guys get the message there?

Don't wait.

Create your own little gathering. Now, by the way, this is. This is my list. These are people on my list. So I have 700 people on my list. Every time I meet someone interesting, a lot of them I met at a fest, I add them to the list. I add the country they are from, I add the field they are from. And so, for example, for a fest, all of the authors and special friends that I brought together, I created a simple view using Airtable. I send it to all of them on WhatsApp, and everybody can see and learn about each other. So Neeraj can learn about Peter, Peter can learn about Ken Honda. So even when they show up here at a fest, they know a little bit about each other. And this list becomes your third superpower. It becomes an asset. Because through this list, you can find future business partners, you can find future employees. These are the type of people you want to bring into your life. Friends and allies, mentors, employees, close team. This is like your executive team, contractors. But you have to stop. You have to start by being the linchpin. The linchpin is the person who brings everyone else together. An easy way to start in your city, commit to hosting a dinner every Thursday. You don't even have to pay for it. Provide a space. Get six people together every Thursday. Commit to bringing people together. Build that list, and every Thursday, add new people. The more you grow your list, the faster your list is going to grow. You're going to start somewhere, but very soon you're going to be able to give people one of the most meaningful things in the world today, social connection. Harvard found that the only thing that correlates with happiness is strength of social connection. So if you can give friendship to other people, you are giving people the greatest gift possible. And it doesn't cost money. Okay, Air table will cost like 20 bucks a month. But when you bring people together in your home, it's like, when I bring people together in my home, I basically order food on on bought or Uber eats, and people contribute for the food. Right. It's really. There's hardly any cost at all. I prefer doing it at homes rather than restaurants because restaurants are going to charge you money. Home, it's a lot cheaper and it's intimate. So I hope I look forward to seeing some of you at my gatherings in the future. SA.