Kristina Mand-Lakhiani shares an experiment where women recorded their harsh inner thoughts about appearance, then had friends read them aloud. The observers were shocked at how brutal the self-criticism sounded. Try the diary experiment yourself to hear what your thoughts actually sound like.
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If you've ever felt judged, misunderstood, or unfairly criticized, know that it all starts with you. You are your first critic. Hi, I'm Cristina Vendlacchiani. I'm co founder of Mindvalley. And I don't know about you guys, but I know that my mood changes depending on what I wear. You know, sometimes when I want to be extra brave, I would wear something badass. And sometimes when I want to be very professional, I will wear a little bit more professional outfit. And just like our costumes, in everyday life, we put on our own judgment and we go out into the world with that judgment. Even if it's not visible to the outside world, it is felt. And often our own judgment is translated to the people around us. So if you think you are something, it's very likely that the rest of the world is going to think the same. So my question to you is, how critical are you towards yourself? You know, there was an interesting experiment. Once done, women were asked to record everything they think about themselves throughout the day. They started in the very morning. You know, they wake up, they come to the bathroom, they look into the mirror, and what are those thoughts that they think to themselves? A lot of us women think very critical thoughts. Oh, my God, I have this extra fat here and this additional line around my eyes and a gray hair and whatnot. And we start criticizing ourselves. So women were writing down their thoughts throughout the day. And then the interesting part of the experiment happened. So let's say I wrote down my thought. Then I was sitting in a cafe, I passed my thoughts, my written thoughts, my diary, to a friend of mine. And a friend would read it out to me as if she's just talking to me. And the reaction of people sitting around those two friends was recorded. And it was absolutely horrendous. People were shocked, outraged. How can you talk like that to your friend? We're so critical to ourselves that we would never allow this kind of conversation towards anyone else. And the question is, why are we so hard on ourselves? Especially if we remember the fact that we are our first critics. Whatever criticism I put on myself, it's like a costume. I walk out with that. I act like that, and the people take me exactly how I think I am. So my call to you today is this. Try this experiment. Write down your thoughts, your monologue about yourself throughout the day and in the evening. Just read it and see. What do you feel? Imagine that you're reading it not about you, but about your dear friend, about someone that you really, truly love. Would you be able to even voice that monologue to that person. If you think this video resonates with you, sign up for my masterclass, and I hope to see you there.
