Reprogram Your Mind Through Affirmations | Marisa Peer

Your mind does what it thinks you want it to do. This is probably one of the most powerful rules of the mind. Here's your mind's job. It's got a very clear job. I'm your mind and I'm going to do what I think you want. And when you say, oh, this commute is killing me, my boss makes me want to die, my kids are making me go up the wall, I am stressed out of my mind by the freeway, your mind goes, oh, you keep telling me that something is killing you. It appears to be your job or your commute. Why don't I just give you a lovely ulcer and then you can stay home and avoid that place that's killing you. That's its job. Why don't you do your job and talk to your mind better? The commute is a pain, but I have great CDs to listen to. I have stuff to do. My boss is difficult with everyone. It's not me. He's not there and I'm having sex with my wife. He's not in the room and having a lovely dinner. This is temporary. He's non happy person. Do it better. You will get what you want when you tell your mind what you want. But here come the words. Let's imagine you're going to give a speech and the words are, oh my God, I'm freaked out, I'm terrified. I'm going to go bright right out my mouth and go, oh, I haven't got the time right. I'm so nervous. Your mind goes, do not get on that stage. If you walk to that stage, I'm going to give you a massive panic in the middle of the room because you told me you don't want to do it and I've got to do what you want. Or you can go, I am fantastic at speaking. I've got something to say. People like me, what I have to say is of value. Speaking to a stage is like speaking to my wife or husband. And then your mind goes, get on that stage and do it. You always have a choice, but your mind's job is to do what it thinks you want. When you go, I want a week off. Who's ever done this? What? What I would give for a week off lying in bed, your mind goes, leave that with me. Now you got the flu, how cool am I? I listen to you. You wanted a week off lying around watching Netflix, now you got it. That's not what you wanted. You need to say, I need some time. And I'm like a battery I need to recharge. And I'm okay at working full out all week because at weekends I recharge like a battery. Now your mind understands. But some saying, I'd give anything not to have to chair that meeting. Mine goes, how about a nice dose of diarrhea? I can bring that up for you. You don't want to chair that meeting. You said, I'd do anything not to go, I'd rather kill myself than give that presentation to my boss. Your mind goes, don't kill yourself. I just give you a really upset stomach. Now you can't even leave the bathroom. There's no chance you're meeting your boss. Done what you wanted? I know I'm making it funny, but it is funny that so many people don't understand. Your mind's job is to do what it thinks you want. And it bases that on one the words you use and the pictures you put in your head. And here's some great you can change those words and change those pictures like that. And when you do that, it changes everything. So your mind tries to move you towards pain, away from pain and towards pleasure, too. I mean, so many kids are going, I want to ask out this girl. I want to talk to that boy. But I'm so nervous. They won't like me and they're going to reject me and laugh at me. And if they keep doing that, the mind's going to go, no, don't go there. Stay the way you are. So you have to say, people like me. I'm a great kid. I get all my young kids to write on their mirror, I'm an awesome kid. I'm enough. And it really changes them because they start to feel it. I'm an awesome kid. I can talk to a girl like I can talk to my friend. And then they feel, okay. But if you keep linking paints, your mind goes, don't go there, don't go there. And if you link pleasure to it, you go there because you're giving your mind an easy job. I've got to work on my website all weekend and all my friends are in the bar so I can link pain. It's not fair. It's not fair that I've got to spend all weekend writing when I could be in the pub. Now your mind's going to go, I think you should tidy up your sock drawer, make sure all your forks face the right way, then plump up the cushions and then go to the pub because it's very clear you do not want to work on your website. But oh, boy. Getting those forks and knives in line is really compelling. Who's done that? Most of us do that. I suddenly need to do the laundry, which I don't even like. I'm tidying up my house because I'm saying I don't want to write that bit of work. How about saying it thrills me to work on my website? I'm elated working on my website. There is nowhere I'd rather be in the whole world right now than sitting in my office working on my website. Your mind goes, I'm going to set you on fire now. You're going to be doing this till two in the morning. You told me you love it and it thrills you. Let me fill you up with energy and passion. I'm a writer. I know how this works. I never go, oh, my God, I got to write a book. It's so lonely, it's so isolating. And what if no one likes it? What if it goes on Amazon? They go, I hate that book and it gets no stars. Or I can go, I love writing. How cool is it? I get to write and people pay for my books and they like them and they give me great reviews because there's the choice going on again. So whatever you want, you must link massive pleasure to what you want. And you can link pain to what you don't want. But I don't bother to do that. Let's think of all the pain. Your book's never published. You go into your coffin, it's still in a drawer. You don't have to do that. Just focus on the pleasure bit. I'm a writer. It's amazing. My book is published. I used to always imagine my book in stores. I'd imagine going to an airport, see people reading my book, and when I did, it was like, wow. But your mind went, well, I. I took you there because you showed me very clearly what you wanted. I had that image to take you to, because what you want wants you and what you are moving towards is moving towards you. Don't move towards fear. Don't move towards failure. Don't move towards it going wrong. Move towards it going right. So we've actually done the next bit. Your mind responds to the pictures and words. The fastest way to change anything is to change the pictures and words. And it's such an easy thing to do. I'm terrified, I'm elated, I'm useless, I'm amazing. I have no memory. My memory is compelling. I can't speak to people. What I have to say is, Easy. I find it easy to speak to anyone. This is the most vexing rule of the mind for every therapist and coach in the room. It's the one my clients have the hardest time with. Your mind loves what is familiar. If your mind could choose, it would stay with what's familiar and never go to what's unfamiliar. We're in a walled city, and that's interesting because years ago at night, they shut the door and we stayed in the walled. We didn't think, do you know, I feel like going for a midnight stroll. I think I'll wander. I'm a bit bored of being in this same old, same old. I want some variety. I think I'll open the gate, wander off and find another tribe. They might have killed you or eaten you. We learned familiar made us safe. Who here notices with their kids? And they literally want the same cup, the same bowl, the same cereal? I took my daughter to Finland to see Santa Claus. She watched A Little Mermaid in Finnish the whole time. And she didn't. That was okay in Finnish because she knew she'd watched it 110 times. I'm like, babe, here's Father Christmas. Here's the only mummy I want to watch the Little Mermaid. It's like, well, next time we'll just stay home and watch a movie then. She did actually get into it, but it made her feel good. She used to play this game. She had so many Barbies. And Ken would come up in his car, and he always picked the same one. He never picked another one to go to the ball because they like familiar. It makes them safe. You know how many kids you have, they want the same story every night. But familiar also makes us safe. So here's a rule of the mind, and it's a very important rule to put into practice. My mind likes what is familiar, and it doesn't like what's unfamiliar.