The 5 Questions That Changed Everything After Losing My Daughter | Dr. James Mellon

Dr. James Mellon describes five guiding questions he received under an oak tree, then applied them during his 18-year-old daughter Nora's final five days after a car accident. The questions, including "Why am I here?" and "Do I know how great I am?", became a practice for decision-making and healing.
Chapters
What wants me to release it? And as soon as I asked that question, what wants me to release it, I could hear my daughter saying, you have the answer. It's obvious.
I want to talk to you about an interesting concept. I live between LA and Dubai, and for Mindvalley's last event, Future Human, which was in Dubai, and it was our largest event with about, like, 7,000 people. I had to work closely with the government of Dubai because they believe in Mindvalley, and they helped us tremendously for our event. And I learned about a few things. Dubai has ministries not based on power, but based on the needs of the society. There's a ministry of happiness. There's a ministry of health. There's a ministry of AI and social media. So ministers are picked not based on power, based on political power. They're picked based on their ability to lead others. And our next guest is someone that, if I had the power, I would pick him as this spiritual minister. His name is Dr. James Mellon. He is a PhD in Understanding Consciousness from the Emerson Theological Institute. He's dedicated his last two decades of being the spiritual founding member of the Global Truth center of Los Angeles. Dr. James, please welcome him on the stage. Dr. James Allen. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Of course.
Hello, everybody. Good.
Well, here, you know this better than I do. Take over, please.
I just thought it was so funny. Yeah. Being introduced as a minister. I always go by my doctor name instead of Reverend because as soon as you say minister, you're not allowed to curse. You're kind of not allowed to do anything because you're a minister in our ministry.
You can.
Yes, you can. That's what I've loved about this so far.
The ministry of Consciousness. You're in the ministry of consciousness, and then you're our minister in spirituality.
And I don't know if anybody said it yet, but does she not look amazing? Like, just gorgeous.
Thank you so much. Thank you. So, Dr. James, I want to know. I haven't told the audience about your book yet, but I want to know the journey that led you to write the book.
Oh, okay. So I was teaching a workshop. I was about to teach a workshop up in Ojai Valley, and I was sitting under a tree, and one of the students walked by and said, I'm really looking forward to your workshop. And I said, oh, good. Yes, tomorrow. She goes, no, it's next. And I was like. And I hadn't written it yet because I like to do things spontaneously. So I was like, oh. When? It was like, in a Half an hour. So I was like, okay, so I need a two hour workshop within the next 15 minutes. And I was sitting under this beautiful oak tree. And so I just sat under the oak tree and just said, all right, use me. What wants to come through me? And out of nowhere came these five questions in a row in a specific way. And so I wrote them down and then I walked towards the. Where they were having the workshop. And I just started with question one. Made it through all five questions. It took about two hours. And that was my book.
The five questions.
The five questions. And when it was over, everybody was like, oh, my God, I feel like I downloaded something so sacred. And where did you come up with those five questions? And I said, try the oak tree right behind me, because that's where it happened.
Wow.
Yeah.
So. And when the five questions came to you, did you immediately turn that into your workshop and ask people those questions?
No, I actually didn't. I actually, I did it a couple more times, but I got very busy. And then I went away on a vacation and I decided to spend the entire vacation writing the first draft. So I wrote the first draft and I came back and I gave the draft to my agent and to some people that I respected, and I gave it to my daughter. I had an 18 year old daughter at the time. She was 18 then. Yes. And I gave her the book. And she said to me, she said, dad, it's really good and something's missing. And I was like, what do you know? No, I didn't say that. I was like, okay. And I thought about it and she was off to college that year. I have twins, boy and a girl, and they were both off to college. He was going to Texas, she was going to ucla. And about on Thanksgiving weekend, I'd already written the first draft. On Thanksgiving weekend, Nora was in a fatal car accident. And so that was six years ago. And she passed. And I couldn't pick up the book again. I tried, but I couldn't. And I waited and I waited and I waited. And then finally I was going back to that same Lake Powell on a houseboat. And I thought, I'm going to have another week. I could try rewriting this book. And as it turns out, my daughter took five days to pass. So. So in five days, we were going to take her off of life support. And I had five questions. And so I decided to spend each day with one of the questions to get me through this. And when I finished the five questions and we said goodbye to her, I suddenly had a Bigger download, which was, this is what the five questions is for. Not losing someone. But the five questions is for any time in our lives that we don't know what to do. We just sit with these five questions, and the answers come. And on day three of Nora's journey, of those five days, the doctors were trying to explain to us what was going on, and we should really not expect a healing. And here I am, a minister, a healing minister, and I'm listening. And question three is, what wants me to release it? And as soon as I asked that question, what wants me to release it, I could hear my daughter saying, you have the answer. It's obvious. And that's the day I, along with my husband and their two moms. There's two moms and two dads and my son, her brother. We decided it was time. And so in the next two days, we did so. Boy, have I depressed you all now. But that's the journey of the book. That's where the book came from. And it's been a very powerful book. Many people have read it and used it for many different things. I mean, you can do it. Use it for something as dramatic as that, as dire as that, or something as simple as, I don't know what's next for me in life. I'm going to sit with these five questions and see what comes up.
Wow. This is the toughest experience a human being can possibly have. Yeah.
They say losing a child is to.
Say something about your book. If the five questions worked to heal such a traumatic experience, I think they can heal any experience, because compared to that, I think there aren't many traumatic experiences that can be as painful as what Dr. James just explained. And if those five questions helped you heal, which they did, I think it's time for all of us to look into those five questions so we won't have to wait until a painful experience to understand what those five questions are. So that's a gift from you to all of us. Dr. James, how do you think the five questions can help someone who's not necessarily going through a traumatic experience?
Well, I actually use it even when it's. Right now I am doing. How many people are doing wild fit. Are you doing wild fit? Isn't it intense?
Oh, we, we, we. Eric. Oh, my God. Eric's not here. If he was here, he would be jumping up and down. Yeah, we need to. Okay, Reenact. We need to reenact.
You will enact it when he comes back. Okay, I'm doing Wildfit.
No, wait, Wait, you're on the mindvalley stage and have you have been doing the mindv. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn't know he's gonna plug us in. So that was like.
Yes, he's.
You're the best spokesperson we could ask for. Okay.
I look great.
WildFit is a program on the Mind Valley app by Eric at Mees. Eric's amazing. Okay, Sorry.
So it's intense and. And, you know, it's like right now, I'm in no dairy, no sugar, no alcohol, no grains, no bread. Just dirt. No, I'm kidding.
A little boring. A little boring, Dr. James.
No, no, no, no. But it's like I suddenly realized I'm like, wait, now I'm eating all these vegetables and fruits and meats, and I'm eating Whole foods. Not shopping at Whole Foods, but eating whole foods. And my body feels better. I have more energy, which I have a lot of energy. I mean, my husband said to me, if this is going to give you more energy, maybe you shouldn't. But yeah, so. So it's great. So I use those five questions when I wake up in the morning. I will use them about my body, about my health. You know, there's a. The second question is, what wants to know me? You mentioned that I have my doctorate. I have my doctorate in consciousness studies, which is quantum metaphysics. So this has been great, listening to everybody talk about quantum. And so when I wake up and I start thinking about my day and what's going on. Although today I woke up and already went to the end of the day and congratulated me on this day. And did anybody else do that today? That was awesome. I feel like I'm a commercial for this whole thing.
I know. I'm like, please keep going.
I don't want to talk. So I just use the questions. For instance, the first question. Everybody take a deep breath for a minute. Just take a deep breath. Close your eyes. I'm going to give you the first question, and I want you to not answer it. Do not answer it. Just be willing to hear what comes up. So the first question is, why am I here? That's all. It's that simple. Why am I here?
You're gonna leave us with that?
No, I have more. I'm a minister. We can talk forever. Why am I here? But it's not, why are you here in this room? It could be that. It could also be your download. Could be, why am I here on this Earth? Why am I here in this career? Why am I here in this marriage. Why am I here in this job? And the universe knows what to say. This quantum intelligence that you are knows the answers to whatever question you ask if you don't hunt it down. Like the surrender thing that was just mentioned. If you take the time to surrender to whatever answer comes up. I remember once I was on a labyrinth walk, and. And I picked up a card on the labyrinth walk, and it said pivot. And my first thought was, who puts pivot on a labyrinth walk? Why would I pivot? The labyrinth goes this way. And I stood up, I was like, pivot. That's like, turn this way. And as I turned, the most gorgeous sunset was behind me. And I was like, oh, pivot. I get it. I use pivot all the time now.
Wow. Wow. So pivot is a way for. For the universe to tell you that. Redirection. Yeah, go there.
Rewrite. Yes.
Little redirection.
Yes.
Well, okay. Dr. James, I would love for people to learn more about the five questions. So you were kind enough to bring 20 copies to gift. Yes, to some of us. I just don't know if you want to give it.
How do you want me to do that?
Maybe can some. Sorry, my brother. Again, all the books.
Yes. She just said, anybody wearing white?
Anybody?
Yeah. No. That's way too many of you.
Yes, exactly. We're all white. The books are.
I was thinking about this, though, so I want to make a guess. Let me see. Who can guess this? The first question is, why am I here? The second question is, what wants to know me in this Bloomingdales? What wants to know me in this vast field of information wants to know me. The third question is, what wants me to release it? How many of you have things you need to let go of? Yeah, okay. And you might get quiet with that and just ask that question and then decide what to let go of. But then there's a fifth question. Let's see who can guess that? If you know the book, do not answer this. What do you think the fifth question is? What wants to come? No, but you took a chance. Hey, Lisa, could you help us? You took a chance to ask that question, so I'm going to give you this. What's your name? Alan. Okay. What do I have to do to get a book? Come right up here. Yes. Wait, wait. What. What next? That's a good one. No, but come on up. What does it matter? No. There you go. What am I ready to receive? These are all good. These are my next book. Wait, what is it? Give me. Wait. What is holding Me back. That is so not it. But. But it is a great question. Who am I? That is getting. Okay, listen now. Who am I Is getting close.
There we go.
Hold on. What would you say? How can I be of service? Oh, you said, who I. Okay, okay, okay. You know, what was yours?
How could I be more? Of love?
How can I be. Don't be embarrassed with that. That's a good one. How could I be more.
I got you in this one.
What is my purpose? Still not it. Uh. Oh.
Oh, my God. We're still not there.
No.
Running out of books, guys, please.
Okay. Who am I? Why do I look so cute? Did you hear that? Why do I look so cute? Humility. What was yours? I'm a magic manifesto, not a question. But okay. What was yours?
Authenticity.
There you go. For being honest, Jess. And you? What's around me. Still not it. But that. That's actually getting closer. What do I want to manifest? Not the question, but that's good. What do you want to manifest? Can I give? Nope. What was your question? What do I want to let go. Oh, okay.
Okay.
What? Who do I have to become? That wasn't it. I'm about to give you the end. The answer. Where am I going? Right back to your seat. What do I need to finally be happy? That's not the question either. Do you have any more?
One more, one more, one more.
She got it. Go ahead. Sorry, everybody. That's not the question. But it's so close. So our last question in the five questions, and this is for you. Do I know how great I am? So, Megan, do you know how great you are? All of this you have created, all of this you have manifested and you have designed. Because here's the thing about quantum mechanics and quantum metaphysics. You cannot manifest anything if you don't know who you are. My whole ministry is love only. Forgive everything and remember who you are. And who you are is the quantum field. It's been sit here all day. Reagan said it so beautifully. You are God. I am God. I am the quantum field. I am the infinite. I am the entire. As Rumi said, the entire ocean in a drop. Not a drop in the ocean, but the entire ocean in a drop. You start. You, Megan, you start with knowing how great you are. And the universe says yes to whatever you decide to create. That's manifesting. That is what I call identity. Manifestation. When you identify who you are, everything else just comes. I'm ruining your makeup.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Dr. James.
Thank you all I'm speechless.
I need a minute.
I love you, too.
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