Emily Fletcher breaks down meditation into two types: monastic techniques and householder techniques designed for people with busy lives. Most modern meditators use monastic methods despite not being monks, and Fletcher pushes back on the idea that meditation means stopping your thoughts. The goal is to improve your life, not silence your mind.
Chapters
In my experience of teaching, there are very widespread and very deep, deep misconceptions about meditation. And I think it's because there are basically two different branches of meditation. Obviously, there's thousands and thousands of different styles, but they fall basically under these two umbrellas. One is derivative of a monastic practice, meaning that was made for monks, and one is derivative of a style that was made for people who live in society. So in India, you're either like a householder or you're a monk, okay? And it's less than 1% of the world's population, population that is monastic or reclusive by nature, and yet 90% of the world's meditators are using techniques that were made for monks or derivatives thereof. And I'm on a bit of a mission to give people tools that were made for them, right? To give people access to a style of meditation that will feel easier because it was actually made for people with busy minds and busy lives. So the number one misconception about meditation is that the point of it is to stop your mind from thinking. I can't tell you how many times a day, and I'm sure you've heard this a million times, too, Emily. I want to meditate. Vishen I know how much science there is telling you how good meditation is, but I can't do it because I can't stop my mind from thinking. Like, I get that it's good for you, but I can't do it because I have this crazy monkey mind, right? My stress is special. You know, we all think that our stress is special. And so I just really want to liberate people from this prison, because that, honestly, can feel like a prison, sitting down and trying to meditate. And if you think that the point of meditation is to stop your mind from thinking, then this is what it looks like. Okay, brain, stop thinking. I'm hungry. Oh, that was a thought. Oh, nope. Now I'm thinking about how I'm thinking. Oh, crap. Now I'm thinking about how I'm thinking about. I'm thinking, I suck at meditation. Now I'm going to quit. Right? That's usually people's beginning and end of their meditation career. If we go into this thinking that the point of meditation is to get good at life, not to get good at meditation. And if we accept the reality that no one can give their mind a command to stop, then it's so much more innocent, it's so much more playful, and it's so much more enjoyable. And the reality is that none of us will do anything for very long that we feel like we're failing at, right? And so if you go into meditation with an unrealistic expectation of like, okay, mind, stop thinking. You're always going to feel like a failure, and then you're going to quit. So that's the number one misconception that you can give your mind a command to stop. Nobody can. The only time the brain flatlines is when we're dead. The mind thinks involuntarily, just like the heart beats involuntarily. So sitting down to meditate and trying to give your mind a command to stop thinking is as effective as trying to give your heart a command to stop beating. It doesn't work.
