Why Evolved People Praise Themselves (And You Should Too) | Marisa Peer

Have you ever tried really hard to find love? I mean, worked so hard to find love, doing everything you can to find love, putting real effort in, you know, if you put half that effort into loving yourself, not only would you find love, but love would find you. People say, but I don't even know, what is that? What is self love? What does that even mean? And that's a very good question. What does self love mean? Let me tell you the opposite. The opposite of self love is this. I'm going to put myself down, be negative, beat myself up, go look at the state of me. Who's going to love me? I don't look like a model, I don't have enough money, I don't have a six pack. And both men and women are really good at diminishing themselves, thinking, if I put myself down and work to change myself, I'll find love. And that is not self love, that's self criticism. And I can promise you this criticism withers who you are, it withers you, whereas praise massively builds you up. So if you want to find love, let me tell you what self love looks like. It looks like being your own best friend. You think you'd say to your friend, well, no one's going to love you. You, your thighs aren't perfect. No one's going to love you because you don't have a supermodel body to say to your friend, darling, you're amazing. If someone doesn't love you, they must be crazy. You'd say to your friend, listen, you're a great guy and if someone doesn't see the greatness of you, it's their loss. So don't criticize yourself. Be nice, be kind, be loving, get in the habit of every time you pass your mirror saying something nice, start your day with, I'm lovable, I'm worthy, I'm enough. I promise you, if you said these four things every day I matter. I'm significant, I'm lovable, and I'm enough just the way I am. That would be such a profound leap of self love. You can't even imagine how much it would change your life. Not looking for your other half because you're not half. And don't say, I need someone to complete me because you're not incomplete, you're a whole, amazing, lovable person. The sooner you get it, state, affirm it and believe it. You're whole, you're already complete and you can find someone else who's whole and complete and have a great relationship. So when you can walk through the world with this air of wow. I really am lovable. Everything changes. Something amazing happened to me. I travel every two weeks. I'm always on a plane. And the day my husband asked me to marry me, the next day I was checking in my bags through security, and this guy ran after, went, hey, I think you dropped this bit of paper. I didn't drop the paper. And then he said, hey, can I get your number? I said, I'm really sorry. I'm engaged. But that's never happened in all the years I've traveled. Even when I was 25 and looked 25, that never happened. You know what happened? Someone asked me to marry them and told me that they couldn't live without me. And I felt so lovable. That elevated me. Wow. I felt so. I don't even think about it. I must have just felt it. And as I walked through the airport, I resonated it. And someone else picked it up and thought, oh, she's lovable. I want to know her. And that's nothing to do with what you weigh, your age, the size of your thighs, the size of your bank account. It's not to do with that. Love is not to be earned or chased or bought or worked for. It's an energy that you give out. If you have the energy of, I am lovable just the way I am. It doesn't mean you can't constantly improve who you are, but it means you can find someone who, just like Billy Joel says, don't go changing, because I love you just the way you are. And that's what we all want. But you can get that when you first give it to yourself. So choose to fall in love with yourself. It is a lifelong romance that never wanes, never disappoints you. And the longest relationship you will ever have in your whole life is the relationship you have with you. So choose to love yourself, because it really is a choice. If you want to know more, please sign up for my free masterclass with Mindvalley. You'll be amazed at how effective it is, how easy it is, how rapid, and how permanent it is, too. I can't wait to see you there.