Don Jose Ruiz explains why taking things personally is a learned survival program that causes suffering. He shares how his father taught him to stay centered through meditation, even with eyes open, and to see others as dreaming in their own world rather than targeting you.
Chapters
So we've gone. We've gone really deep in these. These ideas. Let's go on to the second agreement. And the second agreement is don't take anything personally.
Yes, that's a. That's a big one. That's one thing that, you know, ever since I was a kid, you know, you grew up with the machismo, you know, with. In the streets, you know, in the neighborhood, you know, and the first thing that they teach us is when somebody's walking, say, hey, what are you looking at? What are you looking at? To take everything personal. So we feel like everybody's attacking us, you know. But the one thing that you have to understand is that this is the program that they were giving to us. This is the program that's been for 2,000 years of survival. And, you know, it's a fake one. And, you know, if what's supposed to happen was supposed to happen. But now we wake up, so now we can see. Every time we take something personal, it's somebody invading our dream or something invading our dream or our parasite, like my father calls it, the negative part of us when we corrupt our own knowledge and, you know, it's affecting us that we take ourselves personal. And just like he said to me once, imagine, son, if you take yourself personal, you're gonna take the whole world personal, too, because you see yourself in everything. But the moment you stop seeing yourself, you don't take yourself personal anymore. You begin to change because you see everybody sleeping. You see everybody dreaming their life. And what does everybody want to do? Impose their knowledge, impose their dreams, impose their way of life. If they see you happy, they want to smudge you down. That's why I said humbly, if somebody says something mean to you judges, you just know that they're really asking for help, because that's a symptom of the addiction of suffering.
Beautifully said. Beautifully said. Now, are there any tips or advice that we can take back into our lives to actually put disagreement in action?
Well, one of the things that I use personally, it comes a little. My father says, that's a little twisted song. Because I said to him at one point, said, you know, I like to be judged. Now, Father, he goes, what do you mean? It's because every time I'm judged, you know, I don't bite the apple. And every time I don't bite the apple, it gives me strength, you know. And when I bite the apple, I know that there's something to learn, and that is the power of meditation to get yourself back in the center.
I Love that metaphor. That's beautiful. So are there any tips or common mistakes people have towards disagreement?
Oh, there's many things because like my brother says, you know, with all the four agreements that they make it into the four conditions, saying, well, I don't hang around with people who are impeccable. They're not impeccable with the word. I don't hang around people who don't take it personal. You know, this is life. You know, we're going to live with our loved ones. We're going to live with our brothers and sisters. And when that happens, you know, we call co create together. We co live with life. We're not like going to run away to an ashram. We're not going to run away to a temple. We're not going to run away to a pyramid and stay there and hide in a mountain. No. One time I started doing this because I was taking everything personal. When I came back from a journey, a spiritual journey that I went to, and I started meditating for two to eight hours a day, and father one day came in and says, knocking on the door and said, son, what are you doing? I'm meditating and says, what are you doing? I'm transcending, Father. Don't you see? He goes, you're not. He goes, what do you mean I'm not? I am doing it. And he goes, no, what you are doing is you are abusing meditation. And when he said those words, I took it personal. I said, I'm not. I'm not, you know, I'm not abusing meditation. You see right now what good does it do you if you react from these little words, you know, oh, brilliant. So in that moment, he says, you still consider me your teacher? I said, yes, Father, always. Okay, now it's time for you to do this. And I'm still doing this teaching. It's time for you to meditate with the eyes open. Just the moment that you sit down in your tranquility, when you finish yoga and you're in your peace, nothing can break that peace. Just continue walking, continue doing everything you do, but you always keep that peace because you're always giving seats, but you always are in the center. And that's the powerful thing about meditating with the eyes open, is that you don't take things personal.
Mind blowing. I love that. That was such a beautiful, gorgeous lesson. I love how you explained that.
Don't.
Not taking anything personally is like walking in meditation with your eyes open. Brilliant.
