Transcript of a conversation (YouTube) where Dr. Caroline Leaf challenges the modern norm of unconditional self-acceptance, calling it 'nihilistic' and arguing people should strive to improve. She recommends 'embracing' inner struggles to transform them rather than passively accepting them; Vishen Lakhiani frames the discussion and references Jordan Peterson to clarify the distinction between accepting messiness versus changing it.
Chapters
The modern idea is you're supposed to accept yourself. I think that's an insane idea. By the way. You're already okay. No you're not.
Let's talk about that. What are your views on this?
Yes, I do. I agree with him.
A couple of things about Caroline and why we are so excited to have her as a guest. She is a PhD, a world renowned neuroscientist. Since the 1980s, she's been researching the mind brain connection. She talks about a proven five step approach that can help you go beyond your mental mass.
You know how the idea, the modern idea is you're supposed to accept yourself. I think that's an insane idea by the way. Really, I think I can't think of a more nihilistic idea than that. You're already okay. It's like, no, you're not. And the reason you're not is because you could be way more than you are. So what do you want to be? You want to be okay as you are or do you want to strive towards what's better?
So I want to ask you about Jordan Peterson's quote. What are your views on this?
Okay, so I think what's happening there is something's got mixed up in this old phrase. So let me unpack it. What we don't want to accept is this. And that's what I think Jordan's saying. I think Jordan is saying, and I can't speak for him, I can just go from what I know about him and what the conversations and so on. But what I believe Jordan is saying is don't accept the messiness that you see. Rather go and find out what's really inside of you. And that's what I'm saying as well. He says it in a slightly different way, saying it in a almost. He's frustrated, I think with the current move towards you've got to be perfect and yet such an impossible goal. I say the same thing. This is not who you are. But I'm saying actually using different words, accepted by, not to keep it, but to change it. So I rather use the words embrace. Because if you embrace something, you bring it in your fold. You embrace something that doesn't have to be a threat. This way I'm showing up. I don't have to live with this. I don't have to live with that depression that's incapacitating. I can make that depression work for me.
It brings so much clarity, so much clarity to this whole debate of do I accept my authentic self, even the darkness within me, or do. I strive to be better. And I love the way you put it. It's about recognizing the difference between the signal and the sickness.
