Marisa Peer says chronic self-criticism weakens your immune system and mental health. Instead of trying to change yourself to be loved, practice mirror talk, affirmations, and repeat phrases that rewire how you speak to yourself.
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It always amazes me and saddens me too that so many people I see put so much effort into trying to make someone love them by trying to change when if they put half that effort into loving themselves, they would attract so much love. You see, when you're trying to change yourself, that means you must be criticizing yourself. I'm going to punish my body so it looks better. I'm going to put myself down in the hope that I will get better. I'm going to look at all my FL flaws and try to get rid of them. Don't be your own worst critic. Be your own best friend. What would you say to a best friend? Darling, you're amazing. Who cares if you got rid of cellulite? That has nothing to do with how lovable you are. You're a great guy. You're interesting and funny and any girl would be lucky to have you. You know what you would say to your best friend? Say that to yourself. Do not get stuck, sucked into being a critic. You know, so often I work on the radio, maybe I work with a big group. And I always want to give my group a takeaway. I want to give the audience something, some little thing they can do straight away that I know will change their life. And I always say to them, do not let in destructive criticism. Don't beat yourself up. Don't. Don't feel bad about yourself. Instead of criticizing yourself, praise yourself. I know for a fact there is nothing that can build you up the way self praise does. Self praise boosts your self esteem and criticism withers it and diminishes it. And good people praise and people who feel bad about themselves criticize because critics are always have the most criticism reserved for themselves. Don't criticize yourself. Praise yourself. Don't put all your effort into making someone else fall in love with you. You need to put your effort into you falling in love with you. And then the world will change so dramatically. And it's actually not hard to fall in love with yourself. I know, it's a throw, throwaway word. Fall in love with yourself. Love yourself more. How do you do that? It's actually very simple. First of all, you start by praising yourself on a regular basis. You don't wake up and go, oh, look at the state of me. I've gained weight. Or my hair's a mess, or I didn't do the project I should have done. I'm an idiot. You don't do that. You look in the mirror and you say nice things to yourself just the way you'd say to your best friend or your kid. And we all know how to do that. And then you start to change your password. So they say, like, you're lovable. You're amazing. I'm great. I'm wonderful. I'm lovable. And I know it sounds Pollyanna. I know it sounds cheesy. I know it sounds cringey. You know what else I know? It absolutely works. Write phrases to yourself on your mirror. Leave little notes to yourself. Make sure you're saying, saying it, thinking it, repeating on a regular basis, I am lovable. I am lovable. What's wrong with telling yourself you're lovable? Because you know what? If you don't believe it, how can you expect anyone else to believe it? And when you do believe it, other people believe it, too. And even if you say it, go, this is all crazy. And it doesn't work. It makes no difference. When you say, I'm lovable every day. I'm lovable. I'm worthy of love. I'm deserving of love. Your mind goes, oh, there's that phrase you say every day. It must be true. And then it sinks in. So say it every day because you have a choice. We all have a choice. Here's your choice. I could say, every day, I'm an idiot. I'm overweight. I don't have anything going. I'm not good enough. The kind of people I like don't like me. That's choice one. Here's choice two. I'm lovable. I have something to offer. I'm worth it. I matter. I'm a great person. And you can choose whichever one you want. But you know what you can't choose? What happens to your health when you diminish yourself and criticize yourself on a regular basis? Your immune system gets weak. You get all kinds of issues and illnesses. You invite depression and anxiety. You have a choice. Make the right choice. Big up yourself. Praise yourself. Fall in love with who you are just because you're you. After all, what does your great person go? I love you because you're you. I just love you because you're you. We all want to hear that. Say it to yourself. And you know what? The quicker you can say it and believe it, the quicker someone else is going to say it to you and believe it, too. So start today. Fall in love with yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. And guess what? It never disappoints you, never bores you, and it never goes away. If you'd like to learn more, sign up for my free masterclass with Mindvalley, where you are going to learn how to make your mind your best friend, your most supportive ally. And you'll be surprised at how easy it is, how effective it is. I really look forward to seeing you there.
