How To Network | Wendy Day Speaks on Building Relationships

Hey guys, welcome back. This is Wendy Day from Wrap Coalition. Um, today we're going to talk about networking. This is an industry where relationships really matter. Who you know is a commodity. People that are in position of power, if they have a relationship with you, can help you. Um, your friends in the music business can help you. I would say that at least half of my success is based on me being able to call somebody and ask a question about how they did something or to reach out to somebody that has already done something that I'm about to do, um, or even facilitate an introduction. You know, I need to get on a playlist at Spotify and one of my friends has a relationship with that person. Um, I do great at radio, so my friends call me all the time to find out, you know, who I hire to do radio promotions. Relationships matter. You're basically calling somebody and asking for a million dollars when you're asking them for who they use for radio or who they use to get on a Spotify list. So today we're going to talk about building relationships, and in order to build relationships when you're new, you've got to network. So we're going to talk about how to network. Um, the The basic thing that you need in order to network is a business card or something that you can leave with somebody, um, that has your name, your address, your email, your phone number, your social media. You want to make sure that all of the information on how to contact you is on that card. Also, you want to make sure that when somebody contacts you, that you respond to them. You return calls, you return emails. If they speak to you on social media, you them back. Um, part of networking is being a responsible person in the relationship. And you know, it's funny for me to be doing this topic because it's an area that I suck at. And I know that I suck at it. And I am forever apologizing to my friends in the industry because I'm not somebody who thinks to just call somebody and ask how they're doing. You know, I'll definitely send them messages on their birthday, at holidays, I'm pretty good at that kind of stuff. But what I suck at is small talk. I'm really not good at just calling somebody and saying, hey, how are you doing? You know, how's the wife, how's the kids, how's the husband, how are the kids, which— what are you up to? And it's something that I've always tried to get better at. No, doesn't cut it, doesn't cut it. So I'm going to give you advice that I'm unable to follow. Don't just call somebody when you need something. Call them to see how they're doing. Check in every now and again. Um, social media is great for that. Because it gives you a way to reach out to somebody and ask them how they are, you know, respond to them on Facebook. Definitely do the work to keep up the relationship. It's important. Relationships really matter in the music industry. Okay, so back to what I was saying. When you don't really know very many people in the music industry, you know, then what? The way that I suggest you build your circle of influence is to attend music industry conferences. And by that, I don't mean just go to the showcases. I mean go to the panel discussions and listen to what people are talking about. Listen to the topics that are hot and the topics that matter in the music industry. ASCAP has a convention every year. It's around April in LA. South by Southwest is a very important and very expensive conference to attend. It's not quite as important for music as it once was, but it still pulls the best keynote speakers and panelists in the music industry, not just urban music, but all music. For urban music, there's A3C that exists, and I both love and hate A3C. I love it because it's here in Atlanta every October, and it's, you know, easily accessible for me, but I hate it because they'll have the extremes of panelists. They'll have like people at the top of their career who are just great at what they do, And then sitting right next to them on a panel, they'll have somebody that nobody's ever heard of and that won't even be around the next year. So it's a little frustrating for me, but it's an inexpensive conference and it's certainly worth attending and getting to know who the movers and the shakers are. And then the nighttime events are just awesome for hip-hop. It's, you know, it's all hip-hop and rap based. South by Southwest is in Austin every March. Again, it's a little bit costly. I like South by Southwest not for the music conference but for the, the internet side of what they do. They have a technology section that's huge. It spans over like 8 or 9 different hotels. You can't even run between the panels effectively, that's how big it is. But their conference is a is really awesome. And then for 4 days after the tech side of South by is the music side. And again, it's not cheap. The hotels alone are like $400 a night at like Super 8s and Days Inns. But it is, you know, it's one of those conferences where you can really meet people that matter in the music industry, not just the rap music industry, but the music industry as a whole. So when you attend conferences, the best way to network with the folks on the panels is after you hear them speak. You know, if, if you're able to go up and have a conversation with them face to face, do that, because you can get their contact information and reach out to them. That's not always realistic. I know as a panelist, um, there's almost always a line of people in front of me to speak to me after a panel, um, and yet after the panel's over and I'm back in my office, there's maybe 10 or 20 people that reach out to me and follow up. And they tend to be the people that I remember because they're reaching out to me when I don't have a line of people in front of me, and when I'm not trying to rush to the bathroom because I drank a gallon of Diet Coke while I was sitting on the panel. Or, you know, they're one of 100 faces at a panel as opposed to reaching out to me by email. And then when you reach out to someone after the panel, um, it's great if you can ask them how they prefer to be reached. Some people prefer if you just pick up the phone and call them. Some people prefer if you leave a voicemail and they call you back when it's convenient for them. Some people like me prefer email. I return emails right away, but sometimes it takes me weeks to to return phone calls. I just don't have the time. I get too many calls that pertain to my business that actually make me money for me to call somebody back and spend, you know, another 15 or 20 minutes explaining to them what I do or answering a question that they could have found online. It's just not a priority for me. And I know that sucks, but it's the reality. Um, some people prefer to be reached on social media on Facebook. You know, I'm not a Facebook person. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to Facebook, to my Facebook page, and I'm not bragging about that. That's stupid, and I admit that it's stupid to not be a Facebook person because of how important it is and how many people it reaches. But I'm not looking to add another social media platform into my life when my time is already so pressed. It If I were to, if I were to get very active on Facebook, I would have to sleep less or I'd have to spend less time with my family, and I'm not willing to lose either of those two things. Facebook does not make me money, so therefore it is not a focus for me. But there are people that will reach out to me on Facebook even though on my Facebook page it says I don't check this page. People will still send me messages on Facebook. And, you know, maybe once a year I go in and look at the messages. Sometimes Tony's kind enough to go in and read the messages for me because he is a Facebook person. In fact, if you're trying to reach Tony, one of the best ways to reach him is Facebook, you know, if you don't have his phone number. And he's not somebody that, that really you'd want to call. He's somebody you'd want to text. So My point is that everybody has different ways to reach them, and unless you ask them what the best way is or what their preferred way is, you could be setting yourself up for failure. If you're going to reach out to somebody after a panel, whether it's somebody that you met in the room that you spoke with, um, and obviously if you're at a panel, you should turn to your left and speak to the people to your left and you should turn to the right and speak to the people to your right because you never know who is in the room with you. If you're coming to a conference with, um, people other than just yourself, I suggest you split up and you sit with different people. First of all, it forces you to talk to other people. If you've got somebody sitting next to you that you've got a relationship with, you're probably not gonna talk to other people. You're gonna talk to them because you like them. It's comfortable, it's safe. And it's convenient 'cause they're right there. So my best suggestion is that you split up and sit on different sides of the room, and then after the panel's over, you can come back and you can share who you met with each other, and now your conversation becomes very valuable to your career, as opposed to talking about the weather or your shoes or what you're gonna have for lunch, or, you know, the myriad of things you talk about when you're comfortable with somebody and, you know, it's your friend sitting next to you. But make sure you follow up with the people that you meet at the conference. You know, the folks that you're sitting next to, you exchange business cards, the people on the panel, if you can't get near them during the question and answer session or afterwards when everybody kind of swarms the panelists, You know, what happens at most venues is the panelists are ushered out of the room, and that kind of breaks up the question and answer— not the question and answer, but the personal, you know, question and answer session that happens after a panel. You know, you may step into the hallway and wait for them to come out, you know, wait till everybody's done talking to them and have a conversation with that person. If you don't have the time to do that because you're running to another panel, ask for their card. You know, most people when they're speaking will take their business cards and put them on the table in front of them so that afterwards somebody can just come up and grab their card and reach out to them later. I do that all the time. If somebody doesn't put their card and they're speaking with somebody, it's not excessively rude to kind of get their attention and say, "Excuse me, can I just have your card?" They're happy to finish their conversation with somebody else while they hand you a card. You know, don't be an asshole about it, but it's just a great way for you to follow up later. You can email them or you can call them. I choose to follow up with people by email because I can explain a little bit about who I am, and it's up to them whether they want to respond to me or not. I already assume that if I call somebody, I'm going to have to call them multiple times in order to get them to take my call. And again, I just don't have that kind of time or motivation. To, to do that. So I prefer to send an email. And if I listen to somebody speak, um, I usually make a comment based on something they said— never argumentative, but always something that I found profound about what they said, or something that I was able to apply to my own life. And I thank them for speaking on that panel, because panelists usually don't get paid to speak. It's usually them flying in at their own expense, you know, especially for South by Southwest and A3C, um, and even CD Baby's, um, do-it-yourself conference that they have every September, the end of September every year in Chicago, which is a great place for indie artists to, you know, gain knowledge. Um, the panelists aren't paid to speak. They have to come in at their own expense. They fly themselves in and they put themselves in a hotel in order to share information with you. So the fact that you're thanking them for doing that really does kind of mean a lot because most people don't. Most people assume, man, I paid, you know, $1,000 to get into this conference, you know, screw everybody, you know, I paid a lot of money to hear them speak. But they didn't receive any of that money that you paid to get in, you know, the venue did or the conference did or whoever, you know, whoever received that money. But you can make a comment on something that they said and build a relationship that way. You can also get to know them a little bit on social media before you reach out to them. You know, wait about a week, see what they're talking about on social media, see what other panels they went to and who they met and who they took pictures with, because you may have something in common with them. You know, not that you should ever pretend to have something in common with somebody, but you might you might naturally have a person in common or a community in common or a group in common. You may have a, a talking point in common to which you can reach out to them and said, you know, I love that you said blah blah blah because I really agree and here's why. Um, but every relationship starts with two people who don't know each other communicating, and that's what you need to do. You need to start a communication. Um, sometimes a great way to communicate with people is if you see an article that you know that they'll like, share it with them. You know, don't, don't take one article and send it out to 50 people because then it looks like an e-blast and it won't get the same attention as a personal email. Um, in the subject header, if they know you, put your name in the subject header. If they don't know you, put their name. You know, first and last name, so that they can tell the difference when they're going through their email quickly and they're looking at the subjects to see which ones they need to open and which ones they think are spam that need to go to trash. It, it gives you an extra shot at your email being opened. If they don't answer you in a week to 10 days, either resend the email or reach out again. Don't be shy. The relationship with somebody who already has a career in the music business The relationship is more to your advantage than their advantage, and they know that. So you may need to reach out to them a couple times. I know that there are times where— and I'm great with email. When people email me, I respond almost always within 24 hours. But if I'm busy, it might take 48 hours. If I'm really busy, it might get overlooked, and I might miss a day of responding to emails. And when people resend their emails, it kind of jogs my memory and I go, "Oh, right!" Or maybe your first email went into their spam folder and they never saw it. So sometimes that second or third follow-up can spur a response. But we're all human, we all know how to interact effectively with people at our core. So just be very respectful, react with people accordingly. Don't cop an attitude. Remember, you don't know what's going on in their world. I remember somebody got really mad at me because it took me a week to respond to them, and my mom had just died. And, and, you know, I came back to work a few days later and I just wasn't at 100%. And one of the, one of the first emails I opened was somebody really aggravated with me saying how I always brag that I answer emails so quickly and how I ignored them and basically fuck me. And I was like, oh my God, you know, and I didn't tell him that my mom had just passed away. I told him, "You know, I'm really sorry that you felt this way, and you know, here's my response. How can I help you?" And needless to say, when that person responded back to me, I was in no hurry to help them because they had copped an attitude with me without knowing what was going on in my life. And the funny part is, had they made a quick trip to Twitter or Instagram, they would have known exactly what was going on in my life. So that told me that I wasn't somebody that was important enough to them to actually do the work. They just wanted something from me, and when they didn't get it right away, they copped a little snotty attitude. So it's not terrible to burn bridges. Just know that when you burn a bridge, you want to burn it for a reason. You don't want to burn it over something stupid like bitching and moaning because your phone call wasn't returned or your email wasn't returned. Be persistent. I remember when I started Rap Coalition, you know, I wanted to speak to David Mays at The Source, and it didn't cross my mind that— he was the publisher of The Source at the time, he was the founder of The Source— it didn't cross my mind that he actually had work to do. And I called that man every day for months, I mean months, to the point where I would wake up in the morning and say, oh, let me put in my call to The Source. And it was really kind of funny, and one Saturday In the middle of the day, he returned my phone call, and I was so shocked that he called me back. I was like, oh my God. And his attitude was like, what, what do you want? And I told him, you know, hey, I'm starting Rap Coalition, this is what it is. And he said, you know what, I would love to have this conversation with you, um, at deadline. I'm putting the magazine to bed, I can't talk with you right now. Can we speak next Saturday? And I said, absolutely. Well, next Saturday I called him and he, he he didn't take my call or return my call. The next Saturday I called him and he did. He wasn't, he wasn't, um, he wasn't avoiding me. He was just busy with his life. And now we laugh about it. Like, I have a relationship with him now, and it's just funny what I, you know, the way that, the way that I had to stalk him to, to get him on that phone that first time, you know, the first couple of times really. Um, but he was really helpful and he put me in touch with people that had— that were like-minded, and I was able to reach out to those people. Like Frank Williams was one of the people that he introduced me to, and when I called Frank Williams, he was driving across country with his cat to work at The Source. He was the next editor at The Source, and he was extremely helpful and forthcoming with information. I called him on his drive, and he was happy to talk to me because he was driving across the country. He was driving for 24 hours. You know, or 3 days or however long it takes to drive across the country. And he was happy to spend some time with me on the phone, and he was so forthcoming with information and so helpful. And imagine if I had reached out to him when his mom died, you know, imagine the difference in the reaction that I would have gotten. So all that to say, be respectful, interact with people, keep up the relationship, especially if you're building a relationship with me, because I'm just not going to think to reach out to you and ask you how you are. Um, but as most of you know, I'm a great person and I really give a shit about people. So it's not for my lack, you know, it's not my attitude, it's not for lack of caring, it's just, um, I get really busy and there's only 24 hours in a day, and, you know, I want to be able to eat sleep and spend time with my family. So all that to say, build those relationships. Networking is important. Attending conferences is a great place to meet people you don't know. Social media is a great place to meet people you don't know. Just make sure you do the research on who they are and what they have to offer so that you're not just blindly reaching out to them for no reason. Okay, y'all, thanks for tuning in. Make sure you subscribe to this and, um, make sure you read the article that is down below in in the notes, and that's it. Be successful in music.