EMERGENCY BROADCAST: AITA The JEMILY Wedding UPDATE

Ladies and germs, we have an emergency broadcast. I never come to you on a Thursday evening, but this is too important. Buckle up, grab yourself something to drink, something to snack on. We have a Gemily update, okay? I never thought we would see this day, okay? But there is more. Am I the a-hole for briefly leaving the engagement party? I immediately recognized the font on this card.

Okay,

okay, plan of attack. First, we're gonna read through the post, and then we're gonna go through the photos conjuntos, okay? Okay. Note: another one of Emily's probably exes. Ex bridesmaids asked me to post pics. Aren't from her. Sorry about all the markings. Her face was everywhere. Original post update, which we've already covered. I'll link it up if you haven't seen it. You're gonna need to go there first, otherwise none of this is gonna make sense. None of this is gonna make sense. Okay. 23-year-old female, showed up to Emily's engagement party with my plus one. We'll call Kyle. Sup Kyle, welcome to the jungle. There is a door guy and he says to wait because Emily wants a word. Well, there's a door guy. Who, who has a door guy at their engagement party? Okay. After making us wait over 20 minutes, Emily comes out and says she knows Kyle is related to the A name. Abigail! And that he liked her post. What the f— How, how involved in someone else's life do you have to be to know all of the people that liked Abigail's post. How involved? Like, how much do you have to be stalking? I don't understand. Like, we can't talk about Abigail, but we can stalk her post to see who's liking them. And if you even liked them, you can't come in. And that's why there's— now we found out why there's a door guy. This is insanity. Kyle says he doesn't use Instagram and that Abigail's post was probably old. She reminded him not to use the name anymore. Sorry, Abigail. Okay, she said to delete the comment before entering and kept saying she has feelings too. This is asinine. He asked for the Wi-Fi and Emily said it's only for admitted guests and walked off. What a power trip is this chick on? You can't come into the party unless you delete this post. And he's like, hey, I can't, I can't log on to the internet, like, can you give me the Wi-Fi? And he's like— and she's like, no, it's only for guests who can make it past the bouncer. This is ew. I don't say this openly about a lot of people, but I dislike Emily. I don't care for her at all whatsoever, but I do love the content she creates. We tried to do it without the app, but Kyle got annoyed after it didn't work and said he was done. I felt bad and figured it'd be best to get my car. I also didn't want to leave him to ride back alone. I was gone maybe 30 minutes. Oh, that's your mistake right there. I had ad rank. Huh? And then she cornered me about the post. I told her I came back right after we got to his place, so I didn't know. She said I was contaminating the party. I apologized, and then her mom joined the convo and said that this was all very inappropriate, kind of shouting in my face. How are you supposed to know your plus one's like history on Instagram? on the off chance that Abigail's photo or post had been liked. How are you supposed to know that? And then the mom enters the chat and now she's yelling at this bridesmaid for something that is not her fault at all whatsoever. Sure, I'm sure the mom thought, okay, you're causing my sweet little Emily to get all sorts of worked up and so we need you to stop whatever you're doing. And the bridesmaid's like, I'm, I'm not— I literally didn't do anything. Like, I, I did nothing, so I don't know what's going on here. I'm calm, she's not. I'm getting yelled at and now I'm getting yelled at by 2 people for something that I, I did not— I did not do. Then her mom went outside and Emily looked like she was going cry. I went to get another drink and then one of her pageant friends— oh, she does pageants. That's not judgment against pageant girlies, okay? That just gives us another layer of the onion that is Emily, okay? I went to get another drink and then one of her pageant friends came up to me saying something about how tired I looked. You look tired. And it was obvious I should just go. And yes, I was 10 minutes late, but it's a 4-hour party. Of course, nothing less for Gemily, all right? We have to have a 4-hour engagement party with a bouncer to make sure your social media feed is spick and span clean. Not Not including any likes, comments, mentions, photos posted of you on her feed. You know, if you— if she's on your close friends list, you're outskies, okay? We gotta do a full IG audit before you enter through these doors. And she's right, technically I could have stayed, but I just didn't want to be forced to ask for a ride. I'm honestly just kind of relieved to be done. I don't know if that makes me a worse person. Sister friend. Sister friend. You have no idea the little gold nugget you've just given us. This, this, this is not— this is giving Bridezilla energy, and I don't use that term very often. I remember the first time I used the term Bridezilla on this channel and someone's like, Jamie, I can't believe you would use that term. You're right, I barely use it. I use it very sparingly, and if I ever do use it, I usually say it's not the Bridezillas, it's the Momzillas. Okay, but this might be an exception to my self-imposed rule of Yeah, no, this is awful. This is terrible behavior. This is horrible. And now we have six photos to go through. Are you ready? Okay. And this is why I do think this is true. Okay. I wish it wasn't. I wish it was satirical or it was some sort. But it's it's the same. It's the same handwriting. It's very specific. Dear blank, thank you for attending my party last night. Unfortunately, your behavior just isn't up to the standards needed. This includes but is Not limited to blank associating with the A name. Oh my gosh, the pettiness is unreal. Your lateness, your overall attitude, and your attire. You abandoned me on my night. What? You didn't let her come in. How did she abandon— what was she supposed to do? I understand the whole leaving in the car situation, like, hey, I wanted you here for the party, my feelings are hurt, but we know, we know the onion layers that is Emily. We know enough. We know enough to know that like even if she Had only showed up ten minutes late, it probably would have been an issue. Okay. I'm still shocked you'd show up late, especially after your prior participation in everything else. Well, you're welcome. You won't need to show up at all. Three underlines. Okay. Any more? You no longer have the permission to harm my community or my peace. Tell blank the same goes for him. Good luck with your future. Dot dot dot dot. That fourth dot is diabolical. And why is future in air quotes? M, M, M, M. Oh my gosh, I don't like this. How are there other wedding party members still there? Unless it's just those type of girls that just like feed off of drama and love scenarios like this where they invent reasons to be the victim of their perfectly curated lifestyle. Like, can you even? Sorry, that's how I picture Emily talking. I mean, not with that handwriting. I mean, maybe, but also there's flowers, there's flowers. Were these delivered with the note?

Oh wait, there's more. There's more laminated beige ass!

Whoo! I'm sweating. I'm sweating. Okay, okay. We have some sort of staged photo situation with a giant inflatable ring. Is this Emily? It better not be anybody else because that's stealing thunder. That's a fake engagement. That's what that's looking like. I don't like it. I don't like— ooh, zoom in on the carrot. Zoom in on the carrot. And by the carrot, I mean the carrot size of her engagement ring. Don't forget, 3.2. 3.2. Is that included on this? It is. Don't worry, it's included on this guide. I don't know why I'm showing you. You can't see. You can't see. Gemily Engagement Party, known as JEP. Okay. The Gemily wedding. Still branded. Still the correct fonts. Still the correct colors. Okay. Okay. We do have some details in here that I don't know if they'll feel comfortable sharing because this is like wedding date and time and location and stuff. So I'm going to have my editor make sure that we blur that out. Okay. But we have wed. Ding. Okay. Location weekend. Oh wait, wait, wait. Is this the same? This is the same weekend of September 11th. Sorry. Friday. No, hold on. Can't. This is the wedding that's the Saturday of the weekend of September 10th. Friday, September 10th. It's September 11th, but you can't say that. I forgot. I forgot. You can't say that. The weekend of Friday, September 10th. 2027. We're gonna blur out the other details, okay? Because I don't— we're not— we're not— no one's showing up on her wedding day, okay? This is too much. It's too much, okay? She did put her business— she didn't put her business out there. Her friends allegedly put this out there. So, okay, but why under the Gemily wedding does it say Emily? I don't understand. Jeb Guide, the Gemily wedding. Emily, it's giving. Thank you for congratulating us on my— I mean our engagement— for my— I mean our wedding. Okay. Schedule asterisk. Full agenda will be provided closer to wedding date. Thank you. Thank you. Because we can't handle all the details right now. Although I kind of wish that we had it. Okay. It's a little— it's a little blurry. Hoping for the best. Wednesday, September 8th, 8 PM arrival gathering. What? You can't ask your friends and family to do— you can't do this. You can't do this unless everybody's in the area. You can't have one, two, three, four, five days of events. I mean, you okay? Hold on. Pause because there are certain cultures that have multi-day events. That's not what I'm referring to. I'm not referring to a tea ceremony the day before. I'm not referring to a post-wedding brunch. Those things are if this is embedded baked into your culture, sure. But to have a required evening. The Wednesday before your Saturday event is nutso. Thursday, does that say 1:00 PM picnic frolic, 7:00 PM runway dinner? I don't know, I don't know. But now we have 2 activities. So Thursday you have to take off work, okay? Thursday, at least Wednesday you can go for a full day. Thursday you gotta get off early, okay? 'Cause we have a picnic frolic to get to, ladies and gentlemen, okay? Look alive, soldier. Friday, 1:00 PM rehearsal dinner. That's not a dinner time. Is that seven? That might be seven. We're gonna say seven because it's blurry. And then standard guest dinner. Fighting for my life over here. Saturday, five thirty p.m. wedding reception. Après, après.

What does that say?

Sunday, premium brunch slash standard brunch. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Has she filtered her guests into two different categories? The premium members and the standard members. 'Cause that's what this is giving. I mean, I, I think that's what this says. I can't tell. I can't tell. But don't worry, we have dos and don'ts. Okay? 'Cause we have to make sure that we're following very, very specific parameters. Dos. Gemily trivia, see back. Oh, I hope we get to see the trivia. Do explore which Emily are you in the hallway. None. I'm none of the Emilys. I don't want to be any of the Emilys. Get me out of here. I am sweating. I'm gonna cry. Do enjoy reasonable portions. It's giving, you can't gain more than 7 pounds. Okay, who saw that one? Who saw that one? Diabolical. Okay, what is reasonable? What's reasonable, Em? Can I call you M? I feel like we're on a we're on a nickname basis now because I know so much about your event. Okay. Oh no! There's two names crossed out now. We'll get to that in a minute. Don'ts. No small talk. Who's policing this? Who's policing this? Who's sitting there being like, "Is that is that small talk?" No man. It's probably the pageant friends. That's who's never mind. I figured out. I figured it out. Okay. All right. No gossip or rumors. Don't monopolize Emily or Jacob. Okay. Define monopolize, because I feel like given what I understand about your character, you might have a different definition than I do. Right? And does this go for pageant friends or is this only for the plebeians? Plebeians? Plebeians? I never know how to say that word. And you're going to try to type it in the comments down below, and I'm going to tell you That's not gonna help unless you spell it phonetically. Okay, and even then I'm probably gonna forget. Okay, now there are two names that are crossed off. We have Abigail and could be Maria, could be Marta. I don't know. M A R asterisk A Marfa could be an F. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But how much you want to bet it was the bridesmaid that did the original post? I'd put a crisp fiver on that one. Okay, I bet that that is the original one. Don't mention them to anyone at any. Time. Okay, period. We're not talking about them. We're not mentioning them. Don't even think about them. I'll know. I'll know if you do. Okay? And I will know if you're using small talk or gossip or talking about rumors. I will know. This is a special day and a special place for 4 hours. Okay? 4 hours. There's plenty of content for you to talk about. Did you explore the Emily Hallway? Because you could go through that bad boy like 2, 3 times, and that'll take you about 45 minutes. Okay? Don't forget the trivia. We've got trivia. This is insane. Jep Cupcake Extinguishing Guide. Shut up. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected. This is under the Cupcake Extinguishing Guide. Oh my gosh, this is why I feel like— oh, I'm crying. This is why I feel like this has to be real, because this is— AI could never. Okay, AI could never. Okay, rotate candles to rearmost perimeter, like furthest away from your mouth, because I understand rearmost sounds like it could be closest to you. It's not, it's not. Turn the candle away. Also, who doesn't center their candles? What are we doing? What's going on? I hate everything about this. Take a deep breath. Pucker your lips. Aim airstream parallel to cupcake's top. In case you've never been to a birthday party ever in your life. Okay, ready? Okay, let's practice the microphone. All right, so the candle's over here. Let's— the candle is going to be my lipstick. Okay, we don't want it back here. That's too close. That's too intense. You could spray wax all over the top of the cupcake. We want it over here. So when we blow, No wax gets on the cupcake. Now make sure you're not blowing from a down. Don't do that. Don't do that. Okay, we gotta move on. We gotta move on. Unreal. Don't worry, it's laminated. We're only on the second picture, folks. Oh my gosh! Okay, now it's a group of people. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It looks like Jacob. There's a poster that says help or get Jacob his dream body. Okay, we're gonna— we're gonna get there in a minute. So there's a poster and he's wearing the same exact outfit. I would assume the woman he's posing with is Emily. Okay, she's not wearing white, which is interesting. However, she is branded with the overall colors and so is he. So like, A+ for effort here. But he's wearing the same exact outfit as the cutout of him is directly behind him. Don't do that. Don't— I don't like it. That gives me an unbelievably weird and hyper-specific ick. Don't do that. It's a GoFundMe.

Oh no!

Oh no, oh no, oh, oh no, oh, oh no. Hey everyone, it's me, Jacob! It's not, it's Emily. Emily wrote this, we know, we know the Gemily is dominated by the Emily. We're aware of what's going on. While this wedding is mostly about Emily and it is her night, I have always wanted to be taller. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. It's okay. Listen, before you come at me in the comments, it's not that having leg lengthening surgery is laughable. That's not it. Okay? It's not. It's that we're incorporating this as a GoFundMe in our engagement party. It is such a hard right turn. I don't know how to— I don't know how to process it. Okay. Okay. And honestly, in this context, it's funny. It's funny. What? I used to play basketball and other sports, and I found myself often thinking it would be better if I was taller because I was never able to be MVP. Not really too much to explain since we all know height is extremely attractive and makes everyone around you look and feel better. Wait, wait, so if you're taller, you make everyone around you look better? Oh, that's— is that why Emily's doing this? Did she talk you Jacob, Jacob, this is a safe space. Did she talk you into this? You can tell us. You can tell us if she wants you taller and this is why you're doing it. This is not real. I mean, it probably is, but this is— So I finally mustered up the courage to ask everyone to help me live my true height. So many of you have asked how you can support me, and this is how. This will make Emily very happy and bring us so much joy as a couple. We have done research and it will take 2 separate procedures, each adding about 3 inches. What? Imagine that height difference in our wedding photos. It will be very flattering. The total all-in cost is about $120,000, but every contribution helps. Homie's trying to grow 6— don't, don't, don't grow in height 6 inches for before his wedding day. That's— I do not, I do not recommend. I do— if it's an elective surgery, I don't recommend doing something like this. From my understanding of the surgery, which is very Very limited. Okay. So if anyone has more awareness of this, please feel free to like correct me. It sounds like it's long, painful, and a very arduous recovery. I can't— this is like— but to try to add 6 inches of height is before your wedding. Any elective surgeries that you're doing, let's make sure it happens way, way, way far in advance. But the fact that you have to have 2 separate procedures to make this happen, honestly, this kind of makes me sad. It just makes me sad that there's so much discomfort in his body that he would elect to do this and want to have it rushed. I'm assuming rushed to be done before the wedding. I could be wrong. You know, maybe they've given themselves plenty of time to be able to enjoy all the wedding festivities as well as, um, get this done. But in my opinion, it's highly not recommended. But also, why are we talking about what it looked like in the photos? And $120 grand? Oh my gosh. In order to be able to walk for the wedding, we must move quickly. Okay, so remember what I said about giving it time? Take that back. So I will be abstaining from a bachelor party for financial and recovery reasons. Thank you for choosing kindness. Okay, okay, hot take. What if Emily didn't want him to have a bachelor party anyways? When we see enough of this controlling behavior in someone where they're policing when people show up and who likes what photos, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to wonder if part of this was Emily wanting him to be taller. This could be his own desire. I'm not knocking that. I'm not saying he's not allowed to have autonomy or make his own decisions, but it doesn't look great given what we've seen so far. We'll give some grace on that one. But what if she didn't want him to have a bachelor party anyways? And it just was like, well, I mean, if you get the surgery quickly enough, Then conveniently you won't be able to go. But what I would love to draw attention to is that they somehow have already raised $21,600 through 20-something donations, and the suggested donation is $500. I am all about helping people. I'm all about helping people get much-needed surgeries, even if it's cosmetic. I think people are well within their right to do that if they want to. However, the reasonings that you've given us here is to look better and to make everyone else around you look better, and that's why you're rushing to have this done for the wedding and skipping out on all the other wedding festivities so you could be able to walk on your wedding day. I, I feel as though our priorities are, are misaligned, but obviously that's just me. Let me know what your thoughts are, um, on this, and be gentle and be kind, okay? Because this is still someone's body, this is still someone's life. I just— it, in the, in the context of everything else around it, this is craziness. All right, back to the photos. Oh, there's more paperwork. Okay. This is a trifold brochure. Fostering the magic, a bachelorette experience unlike any other. The journey of the bridesmaids begins. Mandatory regimentation. Regimentatum. No fitness immediately now. Ah, okay. Is this— wait, this is not even The Bachelor. No, this is The Bachelorette. Okay, I'm hoping this— okay. Okay, wait. Emily's Eras Tour. Okay, that says at the top, which by the way, I have merch. Did you know that? Did you know that? And one of them is a whole T Swift collection for my Swifties out there. Okay, and it's Married the Mrs. Era. It's super cute. I literally tracked down the font that she used on her tour to make it look the same. Okay, is it extra? You sure bet it is. You sure bet. But I know you Swifties are also just a just a little a little bit. You're a lot extra. Okay, you're a lot extra. And while I don't necessarily identify myself as one of you, I do understand that you are a powerful crew. But that's only one of a whole number of collections. I, when I was engaged— and I know so many of my couples feel the same way— is I didn't want anything that said the word bride on it because I knew in 6 months I wouldn't want to wear it anymore. So everything that we have says married or something that alludes to marriage. There's like Mr. and Mrs. Heart Tattoo sweatshirts. There are— there's so many different options for you to select from, whether your style is Western, a little bit like tattoo grungy. My husband would probably vomit if he heard me describing it like that, but you know exactly what I'm talking about. Okay, anyways, anyways. What a what a side tangent! Let's get back to the fitness regimen. Mandatory regimentation: Wednesday Zoom yoga, 7 a.m. Three times weekly strength training: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 6 p.m. Something weekly HIIT: Tuesday, Thursday, 6 p.m. Blank days: Five remote days per person. This doesn't seem like it's just on The Bachelorette because that's what I thought at first when it was defined that way. This seems like an expectation, like a fitness routine that you want your bridesmaids to be doing. Throughout your engagement. What? You can't do that. You can't give your bridesmaids a fitness regimen or regimentation, whatever that is. Maybe you can give them one of those, but a fitness regimen? That's— that's— this is crazy work. And this is why when I hear about Jacob and the leg lengthening stuff that I'm like, hmm, I mean, if you're going to manipulate and try to control your friend's workout regimen, it wouldn't be a stretch to assume that perhaps you had a hand in your fiancé wanting to become taller. We sure know that he didn't write that poster board. We know who did. That's way too many exclamation points. Okay? It was a chick. A chick wrote that. But to go as far to tell your friends when and how they need to work out, hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Nutrition. A dietitian will prescribe your diet. Starts tomorrow. Deviations will be penalized by HIIT instructor. Who the F is doing this? What HIIT instructor are you hiring that you are saying, hey, so I'm putting all my bridesmaids on a diet. That's dietitian approved, which, I mean, at least we're doing it that way and she's not just arbitrarily saying everyone needs to cut these things or eat these things. Okay, at least we're enlisting the help of a professional that could maybe— now don't get me wrong, this is already stupid. Okay, but at least with a professional, maybe that dietitian can customize it per person in such a way that will end up being helpful. I think working with a dietitian would be amazing. Absolutely amazing. I think a lot of people could benefit from something like that as long as it was customized to them and their nutritional and fitness goals. Who's hiring this dietitian? Because if this dietitian is saying yes to a bride who's wanting to put together nutritional guidelines for all of her bridesmaids, what nutritionist is saying yes to this? Also, who's paying for this? Like this— when we talk about wedding parties getting really ticked off because the cost of weddings and wedding activities are becoming increasingly expensive, we're not including stuff like this. We're just including stuff like really extensive bachelorette trips or, you know, going out of the country. For anything other than the actual destination wedding, which is still already a huge expense. I am so getting into the weeds in this, but this is irritating me to my core. Who is agreeing to this? What professional HIIT instructor and/or dietitian? And how are they all talking to each other? How are they all talking to each other? Is Emily contacting both of these professionals and saying, you know, these people should be checking in with you? If they don't, they will be penalized. Penalize them in the HIIT class. But don't worry, there's more dance and runway classes. 2 concurrent 12-week courses to get us into top form for the big night. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7:30 to 9 PM, which would be after the HIIT workout from at 6 PM. So let me get this straight. Wednesday morning, 7 AM, yoga. 3 times weekly strength training, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So on Wednesday you're doing yoga in the morning, and then at 6 PM that night you're doing strength training. Then you're doing HIIT workouts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. After those HIIT workouts, you are then going to 2 concurrent 12-week courses to get you in top form, dance and runway, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7:30 to 9:00 PM. Emily better be paying for all of this. She better be paying for all of this. She's probably not. She just has this expectation. Well, and if they're pageant girlies, they're probably like, oh, I love this. I'm sorry, I don't mean to typecast all of pageant girlies, and I'm doing it anyways. So if you are and this is not you and you don't subscribe to this, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. And I'm sorry. I can imagine in the stereotypical sense that if someone is already really into dance, runway, fitness, dieting, it might be some pageant girlies. Okay? So I'm not saying all of you are like this or all of them are like this. But what I am saying is it wouldn't be a stretch to believe that those who walk on a stage and are you da. body, you know, that they are going to be interested in all of these things. But the rest of us? No, fam. Tears. Not like crying tears, but like tears. Okay, do, uh, lifelong. May our friendship last as long as Gemily. I look forward to being a member of your bridal party and growing old together. You will never miss my birthday. Boundless. That's so stupid. College. My fellow educated women, may our blossoming continue. Ew. You are happy contributors to large gatherings and some exclusive ones too. What? High school. Our history is beauteous. I hope we can enjoy occasional rendezvous and meaningful excursions. You will be welcome when the time is right. Are there bouncers at all these activities? Like, which tier are you? Lifelong, college, high school? Oh, sorry, high school's not allowed at this one. Okay, but if you can go back to the HIIT workout class, make sure you put in a full hour there, um, and then maybe, maybe if the stars align, you'll get yourself bumped up to a lifelong membership. The Gemily Show. Wedding community. For all others, may our destinies continue to intertwine. Can we also just take a moment? Sorry, the the clip art that we're doing—it's not even branded well. Like it's—they don't match the sneaker, and then what is that? Like a head of lettuce, and then the dancer—they're all—they're all—they don't look good together. And this is me just being nitpicky, but if you want a well-branded event, you're not doing it right. Accommodations. Ew! Some words we don't need to abbreviate, and accommodations is not one of them. Yeah, you can pick a different word. Hotel, lodging, locations. But a calm house? Sorry. Friday, April 23rd to Sunday, May 2nd. Hold the phone. Hold the phone. 23rd to the 2nd. 10 days. Absolutely not. We have lost the plot. And well, Emily lost the plot a long time ago, but we already knew that. No, we are not going on 10-day excursions for a bachelorette experience. I mean, and then poor Jacob's not getting anything at all. And Emily's getting like a whole 10-day excursion. But let's find out a little bit more. 10 days, okay. Lifelong tier bachelorettes. Okay, so wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You have wedding party members that are not going to be invited to this, that might be at the engagement party, but they've been tiered too low of a class to join you. So this is just for lifelong tier bridesmaids. Will luxuriate for 9 blissful nights at Hotel Blank, where Pacific views, golden sunsets, and effortlessly glamorous accommodations await. Vibes. Phone-free. No external communication will be allowed for the 9-day duration of the trip. You're stupid. This is stupid. Dress code: no white clothing is permitted by anyone but Emily. Day of silence. Ah, no! Freaking quit, man. On Friday only Emily will speak. I hate it here. This is so stupid. Okay, who's going to this? What in the— listen, I want to one day have the audacity of Emily but use it for good. Phone-free. How? You can't. What? What? You can't do that to people. Dress code, no white clothing. That's understandable, but when we put it in a brochure, a trifold brochure, it looks way more menacing and way more patronizing, which I don't think she's worried about, but for the rest of us, okay. Day of silence. Insanity. Insanity. Is she gonna order for everybody? Probably. She's probably gonna order their breakfast, their lunch, their dinner, their drinks. Like, and which Friday is it? The Friday when they arrive? You know, maybe because they might enjoy the relaxing vibes. But my guess is, because of the amount of control Emily seems to need in her life, that this is going to be the Friday before they leave. So like the second, the second Friday, because there's 2 of them. There's 2 of them. The event is so long, the trip is so long that there are 2 Fridays. Day of silence. This is ridiculous. Okay, next picture, next picture. Okay, um, now we have a tablescape which again is really, um, questionably done. If your intent is to go for a curated event, may I suggest not using plastic table coverings? But this— oh, I hate— I don't like this color palette. What is that? Is that— that is a bride Dragging a groom. I hate those. I hate those. I hate those. I hate those. I hate the impression and or the joke that a groom does not want to be there, does not want to participate. There literally was this video that went viral however long ago about how an officiant said, "No, I'm not marrying you," because the groom made a joke about not wanting to be there. There's another groom who held up a sign that said "Help" on the back of his vows. I don't like that. I don't think it's funny. I don't subscribe to that level of humor. If you want to be funny, do it elsewhere. Do it in your toast. Do it in a speech. Okay? Have some sort of silliness added into that. But this, this stuff, I hate that. That would hurt my feelings so bad. More of the Jeff guide. Don't worry. All of them are laminated. This is ridiculous. Do not post. Children at Gemli.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut

up! Okay, we're just gonna sneak around the photo first. Okay, so there's food. The gal's directly in front of it. Is someone monitoring how much she's eating? Is that reasonable? I can't tell. I can't tell. I can't tell. All right. Do not post. Posting unsanctioned photos of any Gemelli events will result in maximum criminal prosecution and civil action. We will find you. You will be punished. Oh my gosh! Wait, wait, wait. Are all these? They're customized party hats. That's why they're blurred out. But it looks like it's all her face. It's all her face. Oh my gosh. Okay, but don't worry. We go from a business lady with a Mrs. Incredible bob to a business lady behind bars to a skeleton with a Mrs. Incredible bob. This is the one time that I do feel as though the clip art is on brand, and I like it. I like it. I like that the bob stays the same. Okay, and she stays behind bars until she's a skeleton, right? It's very—it's—it's very—it's giving. dramatic comic book. And at least we carry the theme here. I, I approve. The, the diabolicalness of this is crazy work. It's crazy work. Children at Gemelli. At the Gemelli wedding. I thought that's what we were going with. Now it's just Gemelli. Are we allowed to abbreviate like that? It's because it's definitely not M-Cob. I can't believe we've made it this far into the video and I haven't said M-Cob yet. What is wrong with me? A limited number of children will be permitted. Speak to Emily's mother to move the process forward. Ew. Requirements: fourth grade and up, B average plus. I think what you mean is B plus average, but maybe that's not a part of your regimentation. Regimentation. Taten. Regimentation. Regimentation. Two documented extracurriculars. Perfect disciplinary and criminal record. What sort of fourth graders are you interacting with on a daily and/or weekly, nay, monthly basis? That have a criminal record. If someone made me jump through these hoops, and this we're we're only on the first section to approve of my children coming, I'd be like they're not coming. I'm not gonna put them through this. My children are fantastic. I love them. They're very well behaved. They're very well mannered. They're kind. They're funny. They bring joy to any event that they participate in. And if someone required Any of this from my kids, I'd be like, you don't get access to them. You don't get access to them. You don't deserve the joy of them at your event because you know who's gonna tear up your dance floor in a very funny, slightly silly, but very energetic way? It's gonna be my kids. Yeah, they're the kids of a wedding planner. Of course they're gonna have fun on the dance floor. They bring vibes wherever they go, but they're also gonna shake your hand and say thank you and be really thoughtful, probably make you a card from scratch. Those are the kinds of kids that I have, and I would not subject them to this. Okay, sorry. Mama likes her kids a lot. Thank you for indulging me. Pack it. 6 headshots. Stop it. 3 head-on, 3 profile. Attire in Gemelli aesthetic. 1-minute video of pageant-style runway walk. Nope. Display fronts and backs of hands. This is where we'd be out. I have farm kids, dude. My 3-year-old, basically 3-year-old girl, head to toe dirt all the time. Like I would clean her up for someone's wedding, obviously, mostly. But you want a picture of her hands? They're sticky. Okay. Probably brown. I had to get after her this week because she kept digging the soil out of my olive tree pot. So many times, and her face had dirt all over it. Her hands, her whole entire body. She just that's where we that's where we lose it. I mean, I feel like we could eat the pageant-style runway walk though. Oh, ten-minute unedited video showcasing child's ability to sit silently. Who gave you permission? I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Oh my gosh! Interview and role play. Shut. Round 1, Emily's mother, Elizabeth. Round 2, Emily. Round 3, wedding planner. The child will be walked through wedding scenarios to gauge their ability to adapt to dynamic, fast-evolving situations. What? She has a planner? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I bet this planner is like, you want me to do what with children? You want me to interview them? I am not getting paid enough for this. I will not be doing that. I do not receive that. Walked through wedding scenarios to gauge their ability to adapt to dynamic, fast-evolving situations. If you have dynamic, fast-evolving situations on your wedding day, something is wrong. Okay. Because not fast evolving. It's smooth transitions from one part of the event to the next. We're not quickly evolving. We are enjoying ourselves. Although this is the Gemelli wedding, so, um, my guess is there's going to be really quick dynamic elements that most weddings would not have. So yeah, again, I, I think that your children should be spared from an event like this. Children that underperform may remain eligible to attend but will be seated in a separate zone. So you have decided that through this checklist, The child has failed at some point, has not made the mark at some point. And your brilliant idea is to still have them come, but sit away from the parents that would keep them calm. Still being a good listener. You're going to rope them off by themselves. Disgusting. Application fee, $49. Okay. The first one was bad. The first one was bad. This one is grossly inappropriate. As a parent, absolutely not. As a friend, absolutely not. What are, what are we doing? And the fact that we have looped in multiple people outside of Emily at this point, now we have Her mom involved. We have a dietitian. We have multiple fitness instructors. We've got the wedding planner interviewing children and walking them through different scenarios, and you have to pay a fee. This makes me unbelievably uncomfortable. And remember, the whole origin of this thing is a bridesmaid saying like, "Hey, I showed up. I wasn't allowed in because my plus one liked someone's photo forever ago. We weren't allowed to come in until the like was removed or the comment or whatever, even though we didn't have access to good internet. I left to take my plus one home because he." He was infuriated. And then I came back and I was dressed down, okay, by pageant friends who made me feel less— you look tired. Okay, that's this person's lived experience. And then they decide to leave and Emily messages them basically being like, hey, you looked terrible. You didn't serve me the way I wanted to be served. Guess what? You don't get access to my community or my peace anymore. Honey girl, it doesn't sound like you have peace. It doesn't sound like you have peace. If you are managing the people around you this intensely, you don't evoke peace. You probably don't possess much of it in there. So the bridesmaid, I'm assuming, doesn't get access to the things at this event or gets access just long enough to take some photos. If it were me, I'd be like, you know what? I'm relieved. I'm relieved. I'm out. Release me from this burden. I do not want to be doing this anymore. This is insanity. This is crazy. Anyways, we haven't even gone to the comment section yet, so this can't be real. If so, I would totally watch a documentary about this because it is bat you know what insane. Who the F is Abigail and what did she do? Gemily? Nine days without a cell phone. No one can talk for one day except for the bride. Instructions about how to blow out the candle on a cupcake with a quote about excellence. A ranking of guest categories. Y'all are expected to pay for the poor husband's leg lengthening. I don't believe in spanking children, but her parents effed up big time. Like when you list it all like that, and this commenter didn't even touch on the bridesmaid's experience. Like this is just the stuff that's in the paperwork. You know, the laminated and brochure stuff all around, all around. Didn't even touch on the workout. Didn't touch on the dietitian. Nothing. Surprised no one has mentioned nor remembered another post about when this bridezilla had first asked her friends to be bridesmaids, and that OP decided it was too much to be one and posted about it. It sounded then like the bride was an absolute nightmare to. To deal with, so I'm not surprised here. I had to add— I found the initial post and add the links in the replies. I recognized the handwriting immediately. Same, same, same from the original post. That bride is insane. Also, in the first post that has photos of the planning picnic, in the background you can see Emily shouting and pointing to Jacob. And the wedding is on September 11th next year, but you cannot say that date and you must say weekend of September 10th. And yes, apparently Emily does work in marketing. Why is he literally always wearing that outfit? Because that's all Emily will let him wear in their branded events because these go with the colors. Don't you remember in the first post she actually included the hex codes for the color tones? If you have not seen the first video, you have to go watch it. This lore is so deep. I just read the pamphlet where it says only Emily gets to talk on Friday. What the actual F? Nobody should be friends with someone like Emily. Emily sucks and is definitely the a-hole here, not the a-hole. I somehow think the leg lengthening surgery donation request is crazier No, I don't know. I don't know. What's the craziest part? Okay, I would think that the workout and dietary requirements for the wedding party and the requirements for children are the most— no, probably the kid one. I don't know. It's a toss-up. But be sure to tease the post. Tease the post. Don't post too early. Don't— otherwise you will be with your Bob. In jail, and then a skeleton. Okay, that was too blurry for me. But everything gets crazier as you go. There is a $49 application fee to apply to bring your child because only so many are allowed, and it looks like there are 3 or 4 interviews for your child before they're on the list. And I don't think it's crazy to not invite children, but it is crazy to have that be your process to decide who comes. I'm also not sure I understand that, but she has tier levels in her friendship brochure. I'm assuming those are based on levels of financial contribution. Who would want to be friends with people like this? I don't, I don't know. When the post said her pageant friends, it started to make a bit more sense. Just insanely image-obsessed people where everything from their hair color to their smiles to their personalities are fake. Well, I don't know if that's necessarily true across the board, but in this particular case, it, it, it might, it might align. If my memory serves me correctly, I do believe somewhere in the original post the OP comments that Emily is in marketing either as work or schooling and is treating the wedding like a marketed network event. Well, she's bad at marketing if that's her profession. Everything looks amateur. I agree. There are spelling mistakes everywhere, and isn't marketing supposed to be inviting? None of this makes me want to be involved with any of these people. This man is getting life-threatening surgery to be a more acceptable height. I'm not often baffled at people's behavior, but if this is real, it's one of the wildest things I've ever seen. Y'all, this might be one of the longest videos I've ever recorded. This is insanity. It irks me beyond reason that it's not a commos. Like, come on, supposedly educated woman. Is this fake? Only kids 4th grade and up with a B+ average? WTF. I would drop out and not be friends with this person at all. What? I missed the part about only kids with a B+ average and a criminal background check. That's insane. And 2 documented extracurriculars. If this is real, I really, really want to go. I don't even like weddings, but I want to see this train crash. Okay. I mean, also a little bit same. Also, no. Here's what I want. I want someone to go with with precision memory. Okay, and I want them to document it. I want them to post about it. That's what I want. That's what I want. But unfortunately, we have a long time to wait for the weekend of Friday, September the tenth. The GoFundMe asking people to pitch in so Jacob can get surgery to be taller is effing frying me. I could never be friends with these uber pretentious people. You're better off without them, and. It says it is from the groom, but the chance it is being forced upon him is quite high, I suspect. This is the most appalling thing out of the multitude of appalling things about this whole saga. Asking 200,000— well, technically only 120, okay— for some vanity surgery? There are people who have no food, home, medical care. People dying of horrible illnesses. Kids abused in foster care shelters. I could go on about the state of the world and neglect and disease. We all know. But Jacob wants to be a basketball MVP. Someone please tell me this is all some kind of elaborate joke. It cannot be real. So we will be abstaining from bachelor party, aka Emily said he can't have And how much you want to bet that the leg lengthening is not gonna make him a better basketball player? Like, who is that, Charles Barkley? How tall is he? Let's side quest. No, not him. Who's a short one? Tyrone Curtis, Muggsy. He was 5'3 and he played for 14 seasons. 5'3, that's half a foot shorter than I am, okay? 14 seasons. It's not a height thing, Boo Bear, it's a skill set. White Lotus would throw out this plot as little too over the top. I mean, you're not wrong. Is this real? Who would be friends with such an awful woman? Who would marry this woman? Who would agree to any of her wedding demands? I mean, there— to each his own, right? Clearly there's people in the room and someone proposed to her, right? So I, I don't know. Hope Jacob is able to run on his new legs. I also want to know his before height, not his true height. Oh gosh, each procedure will add 3 inches. Dude's gonna look weird as heck when his entire body's proportioned to a 5'6 frame but he's stumbling around with 6 Okay, does that say permission? Oh my gosh, this is some of the best tea of strangers I've seen in a while. A $50 application to request a child at a wedding and perfect criminal record for the child. Do they have a PI investigating the children? Imagine watching videos of kids sitting quietly for 10 minutes so you can decide if they can attend your wedding. Plus they have 3 rounds of interviews to pass. It's the 3-round interview process where underperforming children will be relegated to a separate area. You know, if someone said this about her children, she'd lose her mind. Yeah, she's gonna be a fun mom. Well, she probably got it from Elizabeth. Main character syndrome with added damsel in distress where everybody's at fault. You don't need people like her in your life. Don't worry, everyone will get sick of her before her big day. Yeah, I don't know, this is different strokes for different folks. No way this is real, LMAO. Great stuff. ETA #MCobForever. Wake up babe, new Gemily post just dropped. This is a fascinating level of narcissism. Is she 11? Honestly, she did you a favor. Who wants to be friends with someone who is like that anyways? Not the a-hole. How funny that Gemily thinks her stuff is top tier when All these pics look like blank from the dollar store. Hopefully this isn't real because these two are seriously pathetic. It's not great. It's not great. I'm so conflicted. I don't believe Gemily exists due to the audacity, but I desperately want to read Jacob's rationale behind his dream body GoFundMe. Anyways, I need a I need a soul cleanser, like a palate cleanser for my for my heart because I hate it. I hate it. I mean, I'm glad I'm glad we have it. I'm glad we could be here together. Literally longest video I think I've ever filmed, but we could not afford to leave any stone unturned in this scenario. This is this is not normal, obviously. This is have I said diabolical three or four times in this video? That's what it is. That's what it is. It's insane. It's gross, in my opinion. Brides do not have the ability to dictate their friends' workout routines, their friends' children's behavior, to put their friends in tears, literally, and And metaphorically, or also literally. Anyways, you know, it's play on words. To go as far to say that you are going to pursue legal action should your friends post this is— I, I'm running out of words to define this. It's unhinged. It's unhinged. And, and I am so sorry that that is the brain that you live in. I'm so sorry that you feel the need to control the people around you so strongly that it's leading you to to take these steps, to put this on paper, to share with your dearest lifelong college and high school friends and everyone else who will be permitted only a handful of events. You can't do this, people. You can't. But selfishly, I'm a little, little glad you put that out there so we would have this content, okay? This bonus content for this week, because I could not wait another week to share this with you. So that's all we have for today's video, guys. Thank you for watching. I have a book called The Master Plan. It helps you learn how to plan your wedding, um, and not be a jerk in the process and lose all your friends and family members along the way. But hey, you'll have a taller husband, so there's something. There's something. Anyways, if you like the video, jump on down there and like the video. Also, while you're down there, I have the links for where you can purchase my book if you're interested, and all of the merch I was talking about earlier. And subscribe to this channel for more tips and tricks for the modern-day bride. And until next week, bye guys! Bye!