My Biggest Piece of Advice When It Comes to Wedding Planning | Wedding Planning Q&A

Hi and welcome to Union Podcast. My name is Jamie Wolfer and I'm a wedding planner who absolutely loves to share how I got started and scale my business to above six figures in this amazing and occasionally extremely competitive industry. In this podcast, I share the tech, tactics, mindset and mistakes that got me to where I am today. No gatekeeping, no cloak and dagger, just full disclosure and a little humor along the way. So whether you're a planner or a solopreneur, my goal is for you to be a better business person than I ever could have been and support you on this journey. I let's dive into this week's episode. Today's episode is one of my favorite things in the entire world, and that is a live Q and A from one of our Union mastermind calls. I know you're going to love it. Take a listen. How are you able to break the barrier as a new planner? I used to be director of sales for a wedding venue and we were very picky about planners and coordinators and required a lot of recommendations and references if couples wanted to bring in someone not on our required list. So how are you able to establish yourself early on? I I didn't work for those places. I didn't if they had a huge requirement of things that were needed from me or like references that were needed or venues that I worked at previously, I couldn't work there and that's okay. But very few venues require this and usually if they do, they're kind of like the next tier up, cost wise, budget wise for events, when you get started, you're kind of here, budget wise, right? You're probably in the 18 to $25,000 range, maybe 30,000. That's the budget where you just most people get started because anything under 18, most planners probably, I would say probably shouldn't work. It maybe as low as 15,000, because that couple's budget is much better suited towards other things. And that's a very tight budget for a planner to work with. Or they're not making much off of it. But that's neither here nor there, I guess. So when I first got started, I wasn't working with people that booked bougie enough places to require references so that you tend to find that in the next echelon of venues. So then once you have three venues that you've worked at, then you've got three references. So all of a sudden it's a lot easier to access places like this. So I wouldn't stress about that too much as far as breaking the barrier. As a new planner, I started smaller and then by the time I had a client who their venue required that I was ready to go and references up the wazoo. Just ready to go. I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit that in the beginning I printed out every single piece of paper, every single contract. I took handwritten notes and created a binder for every single one of my wedding planning clients. Now, in theory, that sounds really cool and I thought I would look really cool showing up to these meetings with these binders that are full of all of these contracts with handwritten notes. But let me tell you, the chaos that ensued when I tried to stay organized on my own and got over five events at a time. It was a nightmare. Enter Honeybook. I am telling you guys, Honeybook was literally exactly how my brain was processing wedding planning, but just in digital form. It's so easy to go in there and make any sort of customizations that you want. From adjusting your contracts to adjusting your packages, maintaining conversations back and forth that not only pop up in the app on the website, but also in your inbox as well. It's a great way to stay organized. So get out of the paper and get onto the Digital. Head to wolferenco.com HB and use code Union at checkout to get the best deal. We interrupt this podcast because there is something extremely special that I want to share with you guys. I don't know about you, but for the last who knows how many years I have been using a Frankensteined, googled, copied and pasted contract. And while that is extremely embarrassing to admit to all of our listeners, I know that there are people out there who feel the same as I do. And there were a couple things that kept me from actually getting an attorney drafted contract. Actually, no. There was one thing. It was so expensive and it seemed so out of reach. That's when I learned about Legally Set. You see, Coon Bee with Legally Set has created industry specific contracts for people like you and me working in the wedding industry. They're easy to customize, they're drafted by an actual attorney and not googled. Can you imagine that? And last but not least, they are so extremely affordable. So if you were like me and maybe using a less than appropriate and or legal contract, it's time to step up your game. You have no more excuses. Head over to theunionpodcast.com legally set to check them out. Use code union for 20% off your contracts. All right, what is the best piece of advice you wish you had known when you Started this journey. Boundaries. There's a reason that there's a whole freaking module on this. Because I didn't have them. I didn't have them. And I feel bad for my first few clients. I feel bad for my first clients because I was not clear on what I did and what I didn't do. And so they thought I did everything. And I ended up just disappointing them a lot. A lot. Because I was not clear with what my services were. And they thought I was going to do all their florals. They thought I was going to design their invitations and assemble them for them. They thought I was handling all of their rentals again because I was like, yeah, that sounds great. Or yeah, we have an add on for florals. Or yeah, we have an add on for invitations, which I had literally no business doing. None whatsoever. I mean, the florals I have a little bit of experience with, but the invitations, that was stupid. But I didn't make it clear that that would be an additional cost. So then they assumed that I'd be doing those. And then I felt weird and awkward, so I just did them. Boundaries. Decide what you're going to do early on. And every planner, almost every planner starts out at the beginning being like, I'm gonna offer extra services. And then you realize that planners that have been doing this for over five years don't. And there's a reason. They don't want to handle inventory, they don't want to handle extra services, they don't want to handle customer service for multiple different genres. For florals, for planning, for rentals, for invitations. It starts to get really complicated or you need to build out a team. So start simple and get really good at what you do. And I mean really freaking good. And then build from there. Do not start with a bunch of other things because you are not confident enough in yourself to just let your sbs and your no be. No. You feel like you need to add on services to add onto your self worth because you don't feel confident that you're worth the dollar sign that's under your name. Hi, my name is Jamie and I charge $2,500 for day of coordination. But I will also do all the rentals and I'll show up three hours early and I'll stay six hours late to clean up everything and I will scrub it with a toothbrush. No, that, that, that is me being not confident with my numbers. And that is me. I mean, here's the deal. I think people smell it. You know what I mean? I think they can tell when someone is lacking the confidence and they kind of just keep adding stuff on and it may not be a conscious thing. I don't. I don't think people are consciously doing that necessarily. I mean, maybe some are, but like, I think they can tell when there's a lack of confidence. I think they can feel it. I think they can sense it. And that's where. That's where burnout can happen. But again, kind of returning what I was talking about earlier when it came comes to me being burnt out. I was burnt out after that wedding because I felt emotionally wrung out, because I felt like I was taken advantage of. But I knew I set up the situation where that happened. Like that is where. Because. Because you don't charge enough because you add on too many services and you feel taken advantage of and you feel emotionally burnt out, that's where it kind of comes to bite you. And that's when planners start leaving the industry earlier is because they feel burnt out, because they don't have good boundaries. I'm telling you, after eight years, almost nine years of doing this, those who leave are burnt out because they don't have good boundaries. It's emotionally exhausting for them. Cause they stay too late at events because they say yes to too many things, because they let their clients text them at midnight. I don't say yes to those. In fact, I don't allow it. I'll say, hey, please send me an email. Please send me. I had one client who loved to send me voice messages. Drove me insane. And I'd just be like, I love you so much. But I can't search this, so if you could please email this to me. Boundaries are so much more than like a social media buzzword. Boundaries are going to be what makes or breaks your business success in the next five years. Really firming up what you charge, really firming up what you offer, and really firming up what you say no to. Your yes is just as powerful as your no, for sure. The one thing I'm genuinely confused about is on the day of the events, does the wedding planner typically do all the decorating and set up? I know in most situations this would require more than one person. That whole topic is just confusing to me right out the gate. Do I need to have one or two people assisting me at weddings? Okay, I have an unpopular hot take on this. I do not set up anything outside of a typical list of things without prior request. Why? Because Jamie's seen some things and Jamie showed up to a bunch of extra boxes that Jamie Was not ready for as she speaks in the third person. So there are planners who work 12 hour days. There are planners who work 14 hour days. Let's start there. There are planners who work 10 hour days. They will work for a very long time. They're there from the beginning of the day to the very, very end. They monitor setup, they help with setup. They have no issues jumping in and doing whatever they need to get that going, whether that's florals, whether that's balloon installs, whether that's furniture rentals. And that tends to be either a very low end or very high end planner, right? Not really so much. The people in the middle, low end. It's because you. You really want these people to like you, and you're willing to work as much as possible for very or very low pay. Right? And then the high end ones are like, yeah, I'll be there for 12 hours. You're gonna pay for it, though. It's gonna look pristine, but you're gonna pay for it. I'm in the middle, so for me, I don't work past eight hours. And if the event requires 10 hours, then we do shifts. We do split shifts where someone will open and someone will close, Literally like a Starbucks or whatever. So for us, what we typically do is I will handle anything that is not usually set up by a vendor there on a wedding day. So there's no sign. Vendor on your wedding day, I got those. There's no escort card. Vendor on your wedding day, I got those. Gift card or gift box or sorry, card box. Gift table. Let's see, table numbers. I got all those. That's all. That's all me. Guest book. That's me. Laurels. There's usually a florist doing it. Dessert table, there's usually a baker doing it. Catering. Nope, don't touch that one. Because I don't have my food handler certification. So technically, legally, I can't. Right. Which is. I mean, you could probably. And I have, and you can totally get away with it. But if you don't want to, and if you want to be legally protected, say I don't have my handler certification. I can't be handling your food. Okay, so those are the things. Tables and chairs. I typically don't set those up. Linens. Don't set those up. Unless they're just sitting there and we're, like, waiting for that. I don't mind jumping in and helping out with that, But I don't tell my clients that. That is the expectation that I do that. I make it Very clear. That's not my job. But I'd be more than happy to bring in more people, bring on extra hands, because you want me to obviously be coordinating your wedding day. You want me to act as your wedding planner. And if I'm running around making sure all the chairs are set up or setting up all the chairs myself, I should say, then that pulls me away from checking with your dj, from checking you with catering, for making sure your florist has everything that they need from checking in with you, because I'm doing physical manual labor. So my stipulation with that is, let me know what all the setup is that you want from us. All of it. Just, like, lay it all on me, and I can tell you if my team can handle it or not. Because we only work eight hours. We show up about two hours before the event starts. That's usually when the DJ shows up, a photographer shows up. That's the sweet spot for most vendors. And at that point, tables and chairs are typically already set up, and I'll just go through and do a rough count and make sure things look good. And I usually only work with one assistant. If I showed up and there were 25 centerpieces that needed to be placed, I would want to know that ahead of time, because then I would probably bring an additional assistant, or we'd show up earlier and charge accordingly. So hopefully that answers your question. I don't do anything outside of signs and miscellaneous things like that I do not automatically say yes to. I keep leaning towards florals and dessert because that tends to be the most common of what we're requesting. I don't automatically jump in and do those unless my client lets me know beforehand, and they're like, hey, we don't have anybody to do this. And I say, great, that's fine. I will bring somebody else to jump in and help out with this just so I can keep doing my job. Because you. So you can get exactly what you paid for. You can get the experience that you deserve. But also so we get all that stuff handled right? And then another option for that is, I will also, if they want to have volunteers do it. I will say I have no problem monitoring your volunteers. That does take some time away from me. That's fine. I can do that. But at least I don't have to physically be the person setting it up. So I would so much rather work with your great Aunt Shirley and help her set up the centerpieces than have to do them all by myself. So I stay in that, like, managerial role instead of in the details roll. That's all we have for this week's episode, guys. If you enjoyed it, do me a favor, screenshot that episode and share it on socials. Tag me in it. I would love to see Wolfer and Co. On Instagram. Let me know if you're enjoying it. You can also let me know if you didn't enjoy it, but I'm probably not going to reassure that one. I hope you guys enjoy this week's episode and we'll see you in the next one.