Nailing Your Wedding Expo System | Wedding Planning Q&A

Hi and welcome to Union Podcast. My name is Jamie Wolfer and I'm a wedding planner who absolutely loves to share how I got started and scaled my business to above 6 figures in this amazing and occasionally extremely competitive industry. In this podcast, I share the tech, tactics, mindset, and mistakes that got me to where I am today. No gatekeeping, no cloak and dagger, just full disclosure and a little humor along the way. So whether you're a planner or a solopreneur, my goal is for you to be a better business person than I ever could have been and support you on this journey. Let's dive into this week's episode. Today's episode is one of my favorite things in the entire world, and that is a live Q&A from one of our union mastermind calls. I know you're gonna love it. Take a listen.

I'm very much into like reinvesting, so good, good. I did one, what is it called?

Wedding show. Yeah.

Nice. Wedding show. I did a wedding show and I did it in my hometown. I did it in my hometown and it felt like a good place to start. It was last minute, but I'm like, you know what, let me just—

wait, that's right, we talked about this.

Yeah, yes, it felt good, it felt good. I got a couple like at least booked calls from it. No one has booked their wedding from it, um, but it showed me that like I do not have a good system down for wedding shows.

Um, okay, talk, talk to me about that.

I didn't have a way for people to like book appointments with me. I didn't have a system. I didn't have it written down. I didn't have a calendar. I didn't have like anything set up for my website. I had reviews up, I had photos, the banner, the fresh flowers, the— it looked pretty, but like system-wise, it was a lot of conversation. And I think I'll probably book one person because because there was a raffle. Um, they did a raffle.

Do you find people wanting to book appointments on the spot to talk with you?

I think they were, yeah, I think they felt good about that. There were, I want to say, the couples or brides who were like maybe between 23 and I'll say 34 because I was the oldest, were the ones who were like 'Let's book, let's book an appointment.' Everyone else on the outskirts were, 'Let me think about it,' or 'I'll come back to you,' or like one of those.

You know, I have actually never heard that feedback, and I think that's really, really interesting and could be really helpful for those that are going into expos. Like, have a Calendly set up. Yeah, have a QR code with a Calendly if someone wants to sign up for an appointment right there. Um, because that means you had Just you had very eager people if they were like, no, let's already book something. Not just like a, yeah, I'll take your information and, you know, if you email me, maybe we'll talk some more. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah.

And I feel silly because, I mean, granted, I got their info, so like I had a little— I used my card box for— I try to incorporate things from my wedding to keep it alive. But like, I had to justify what we spent on them, right? We're buying it one time. So I have my card box, and if they were interested or wanted, like, oh, because you were here today, you got a discount or something, they dropped in their info with, like, some stuff on it. And I just felt so silly because it's like, what am I reaching out to these people with? I have not even gone through the entire list yet of people who drop something in, and it's like, dang, did I wait too long? Like, did they move on already? What am I saying now? Sorry it took so long. Like, No system.

Okay, so as far as, um, I like the idea of having a Calendly or some sort of option to set something up. And now that you have your sister helping with admin, I think that's going to be a lot smoother for you moving forward. How long ago was the expo?

March.

Okay, yeah, you might be outside the window for contacting them again. If you do want to, I would suggest having a canned um, email that you have pre-done where you can just insert some personal information. If you have their venue, you could be like, hey, I've worked there before, or hey, I took a look at it, it's absolutely gorgeous, haven't worked there, whatever, however you want to phrase it. And that would be what you do moving forward. Yeah. Um, and then just have that prepared ahead of time. I wonder if I could get one of my old ones because I haven't done an expo in a long time. Um, and then see if we can share that. As like an option to just like copy paste. Because sometimes just figuring out where to start.

That would be great because I feel I get caught up in the, am I saying the same thing as somebody else is saying?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For sure.

Okay. Well, I'll make Rebecca help me to get that, um, to get that so we can at least get, get a version of it up on the course and you guys can use it. You don't have to use it. You can like pick apart, use pieces of it, but we had a really good conversion rate with it. I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit that in the beginning, I printed out every single piece of paper, every single contract. I took handwritten notes and created a binder for every single one of my wedding planning clients. Now, in theory, that sounds really cool, uh, and I thought I would look really cool showing up to these meetings with these binders that are full of all of these contracts with handwritten notes. But let me tell you, the chaos that ensued when I tried to stay organized on my own and got over 5 events at a time, it was a nightmare. Enter HoneyBook. I'm telling you guys, HoneyBook was literally exactly how my brain was processing wedding planning, but just in digital form. It's so easy to go in there and make any sort of customizations that you want, from adjusting your contracts to adjusting your packages, maintaining conversations back and forth that not only pop up in the app on the website, but also in your inbox as well. It's a great way to stay organized. So get out of the paper and get onto the digital. Head to wolferandco.com/hb and use code UNION at checkout to get the best deal. We interrupt this podcast because there is something extremely special that I want to share with you guys. Uh, I don't know about you, but for the last who knows how many years, I have been using a Frankenstein Googled copied and pasted contract. And while that is extremely embarrassing to admit to all of our listeners, I know that there are people out there who feel the same as I do. And there were a couple things that kept me from actually getting an attorney-drafted contract. Actually, no, there was one thing. It was so expensive and it seemed so out of reach. That's when I learned about LegallySet. You see, Kunbi with LegallySet has created industry-specific contracts for people like you and me working in the wedding industry. They're easy to customize. They're drafted by an actual attorney and not Googled. Can you imagine that? And last but not least, they are so extremely affordable. So if you were like me and maybe using a less than appropriate and/or legal contract, it's time to step up your game. You have no more excuses. Head on over to theunionpodcast.com/legallyset to check them out. Use code UNION for 20% off your contracts. Okay, now talk to me about your packages, because right now you're sitting at $1,500 and $2,500. What are the services you offer for day of coordination, and what's the difference between that and partial planning?

See, they're, they're like, they're pretty much the same, honestly. I, I think it comes down to like how many times I'm meeting with them, because at first it was like, oh, I'm only gonna do these things and these things, but then I am like bonding with these couples and I'm not gonna refrain from telling you something just because it's not part of the package. So it's like, okay, don't worry about it, here's what you do. You can't afford this, here's what I did. Go to Trader Joe's, do it. Like, you know, I'm like giving them all the, the answers. And so it just came down to like how many times we're meeting, which I am feeling myself now struggling with a little bit too. I need to be better at setting boundaries. Um, Yeah.

How many meetings do you have for a month of, or day of coordination?

I can't say that I have a set number. I tell them like, okay, well, if your wedding is in July, we'll meet 5 times, whatever it is. But then like sometimes we meet more than that because they're stressed or yeah, we have more to talk about. We didn't finish here. And then I feel like, dang, you're not setting good boundaries, but this is on me. That's not really on them.

So yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a little hard on you for a sec. That's way too much. Yeah, that's way too much. And what happens in those situations, and I'm sure you're gonna be like, oh yeah, that's definitely happened at least once or twice. You will kind of feel a little bit taken advantage of even though you set yourself up for it because they'll ask for more because they don't know where that line is anymore. Um, and I also understand having a bleeding heart because we love our couples and we love what we do. I just don't want you experiencing burnout. Right. So, um, unless your time is clearly reflected, uh, by what you're being paid, I think you should bring month of coordination down to 2 meetings. I only do 1.

Okay.

That doesn't include the intake call. The intake call. Absolutely. That's, that's where we hang out. That's where we do a lot of chatting. I do one and then I do the rehearsal and then I do the wedding day. So it sounds to me like your systems with teaching them how to plan the wedding or what they should be working on, it sounds like that needs some work because if we're, if we're pretty consistently working within like a checklist or planning overall timeline, then we should have less things falling through the cracks. So with, if there's like, if there isn't much difference between the two, I will tell you, based on, based on what I'm experiencing with you right now, you are absolutely underselling yourself. Those services are worth a lot more. My partial planning package has 5 meetings.

Okay. Yeah.

So I would say what we're looking at here is, um, kind of going back to that idea of the hourly rate, the amount of time that you're spending with the couples. Now, if you're like, I cannot fathom doing less than 3 appointments, I can't do it. I need more FaceTime with them. Good. Let's just support that with numbers.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's, that's how I feel, at least right now. And because realistically, like, yeah, I had that many bookings, but I've only done one wedding. So it's like, um, no, I'll meet with you as many times as necessary until we're all comfortable. But I'm not telling them that. They're not feeling that, but that's how I feel. Um, so yeah, 5 has been like the least amount I felt comfortable with. Like, I, I have one couple who's getting married this month, end of the month, and I think we're— the next time we meet, it will be 5 times. And I feel like we really don't even need to meet, like, we're good. Um, yeah, but I don't do her— I don't do the rehearsal. Okay, so I've done— I've offered to do one rehearsal, um, because they're around the corner for me and they don't know that, but they're around the corner, so it's just like, yeah, yeah, um, I'll just drive on over, I guess. Yeah, but I don't do rehearsals, um, so I'm like, does that factor into— maybe that's another meeting, or like I have a hard time doing the give and take because other planners, other people, and I'm looking at their pages, like they're not listing that information. Um, so yeah, I just don't know.

Um, a majority of planners do do rehearsals. For the most part, it's because it makes our lives easier. Like, I'll, I'll skip it, but I won't give anyone a refund if they decide to not do it, you know what I mean? Like, if they're like, no, we don't need it, I'm like, okay. Like, it's It's an offering. I'm here. The only reason it would— a couple would skip it would be like if they have to pay for me to stay somewhere overnight. Like, that's fine, we'll figure it out. Everyone's walking in a straight line. It's all good. Um, I, I do think that the, the amount of meetings and the price that you're paying feels like a, um, kind of circling back to that lack of self-confidence. Yeah, like you don't think that you're worth it yet because you've only worked one. Yeah, but you're, you're already planning weddings. You don't have to complete them to be called a wedding planner. You're already doing it. So the only thing that's happening here is because you're getting yourself in a situation where you're working so much per client. I mean, if we're looking at the $1,000 number and you're doing 5 meetings with them, which I'm assuming an average about 2 hours per meeting, right?

No, there are 30-minute meetings, maybe 40.

Okay.

Okay.

Love that. Much shorter. I was like, oh my gosh, you're just like all this time with them. Okay. That feels okay. That feels better. That feels better. Um, the way I position it is I would rather have one meeting where I get all the information. I'll send you pamphlets. I'll send you spreadsheets. I'll send you all this stuff beforehand for you to fill out and be like, hey, this is what we're going to go over in our meeting. So have these answers. And if I have a client who's panicked, I'll jump on a 20-minute phone call. That's not a problem. But as far as like sit-down dedicated meetings, that is much more limited.

Okay. Yeah. I can't, I can't do that. I can't, I have two, my youngest is 11 months and my husband has a job and a side hustle and I couldn't possibly sit anywhere for 2 hours, like sitting in this class for 2 hours. It's like, please. So I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. It has to be, I also have a job. And I can't lose that job. So it's like, right. 30 minutes, 40 minutes is my, what I can do.

It's your cap. Yeah. Okay. So let's, let's figure out how we can reposition what you're doing to do 2 30-minute meetings.

Yeah.

How can you get more information to them ahead of time so you don't have to do 4 of them?

Okay.

So if that means that you're looking through things in the master plan and you're like, hey, I like this, this works. Hey, this seems like a good system. You want to implement it in your own business, go for it. Like, that's why it's there. Um, obviously, you know, like swap out the branding. That'd be weird, but find resources or put together your own resources to set up the couple for success so that when you're meeting with them, you're not holding their hand through a bunch of the little details that they could have figured out on your, on their own.

Yeah.

How does that feel? Cause I totally hear you. I have 4 children. So like, and I had two of them when I started wedding planning. So, uh, if you got a screaming baby, if you are breastfeeding, if you are, uh, I cook most of the meals, I manage the household. There's a lot going on. I used to, I used to phrase it in such a way where I'd be like, oh yeah, so we offer our meetings after 5:00 PM. Cause we, most of our couples work 9 to 5s and we're really cognizant of that. Also my husband works 9 to 5 and I can't meet with you before then, There will be screaming from me or children. I don't know.

Exactly.

So I would highly recommend finding a way to structure those meetings or structure what you're giving the clients just to make it so you don't have to be as available.

Yeah. Okay.

How does that feel? It feels overwhelming, encouraging.

Okay. Yeah. I, it's going to take time for sure because I have to keep in mind that I want to avoid the burnout. Right now, it's—

it—

they feel like they're all my best friends. One of my brides are my best friends, and I have a couple— there are two brides, and they're great. But, um, I have to— I have to have those boundaries because I already feel like, why are you texting me right now? Like, and I don't want to say those— obviously I never say those things, but I don't want to feel those things. And it's normal. I get it. We're humans. But yeah, I do need a better— I do need a better structure. Maybe coming into the meeting planned or giving them something, sending them something before we meet. I don't know if that's a good idea. Yeah.

Oh, absolutely. We've got the overall planning timeline in the master plan that shows the 12-month planning timeline. Like you can go on Canva and make your own version of that.

Yeah.

And you can use all the information that we have on there. I don't care. Copy it. Literally copy it. And then that way you can, you can have a resource where you're like, here's the overall situation. Here's when you should be planning things. Our first call can be like 3 months out.

Okay.

Just like a quick 30-minute check-in. How you doing? How can I support you? Where are you at in this structure that I've already given you? So you should be somewhere in here, right? And if you're not, then we've got a little bit of time to work ahead and make sure we knock a couple of those things out. And then the next call can be 2 months out and then the last call can be a month out.

Okay.

So we have 3 30-minute calls. How's that feel?

That feels good.

That feels good. Good.

Because it's clear expectations from the beginning.

Yep.

Here's what to do. Here's when we're meeting. If you have a question, email me.

Yeah. I also don't like getting texts from clients. So I tried to make it really clear in the beginning, like, hey, FYI, I'm actually really bad at texting. I'm like, I'll read it. And in my mind, I'd be like, yeah, bet. It's gone. Yeah, it's gone. I'm so grateful that Apple finally introduced like the mark as unread for messages. I would literally have to copy and paste and send it to myself just because I'm just, I'm just the worst at it. Rebecca is in the chat and she can totally attest to the fact that I am literally the actual worst. So, so So I'll tell clients, I'm like, hey, please, please email it to me. It gives us a cleaner thread that way I can, I can share it with my assistants. It's just so much easier if you just email me. And I had one bride who insisted on sending only voice notes.

Oh no.

And I was like, all caps, LOL, yes you are. Shut up. You didn't have to yell it. Um, but at a certain point with this bride, I was like, please, please. Like, I want to be available. Please send me emails. Like voice notes is the worst thing that you can send me. This was before they would add the captions to them. Yeah. Just be like, oh my gosh.

Right.

Yeah. Yeah. So that was a boundary for me is, um, you know, hey, don't text, please send it via email or communicate via HoneyBook. That's great. I just need to have some sort of searchable paper trail. Should I be like, oh, what's that situation? And know where to go look instead of checking all these different apps or hoping it pops up in iMessage or whatever it happens to be. So if that feels good, that is a boundary that you could put in place to be like, hey, if we can keep all communication via email, that'd be awesome. Let's just like a quick like, hey, I'm going to be 5 minutes late to the meeting, or hey, are you okay if we meet here instead? But if it's wedding planning pertinent, I need it in an inbox. Yeah. Um, so for me, that, that helps. I still, of course, have couples that text anyways, and that's all right. Yeah. I also have times within which they can text me. So if I get a text at 11:00 PM at night, I'm sure as heck not responding.

Oh, definitely not. See, that's the thing, like, I'm good with them texting me, but like, they all know, and I make it clear from that first meeting, you can text me whenever you want, but do know I'm not going to be responding until like normal business hours. Um, good, good, good. I kind of make it like a joke, but like, I'm very serious.

Yeah, I'm laughing, but I'm serious.

I'm very serious. I'm on the go a lot, and my job requires me to be on the go, so I can't always like be at my email. And yes, it's on my phone, but like, it's just not the same experience for me. And the texting is easier. I can just pop it open, send it, HoneyBook app, like copy paste. That's easy. So I'm okay with that. But yeah, definitely not responding that late. Yeah.

So I think that based on what you're sharing with me, getting a couple structures in place to share with your clients would be huge. I'm gonna go ahead and share the, the, um, thing that I'm talking about. Okay. Um, and yes, so this is what I'm talking about. Have you taken a look at this?

I've seen it. Yeah.

Master planning.

Okay.

So what you can do here is you can put in, you know, a 3-month mark and this will be first meeting and then 2-month mark. Second meeting, 1-month mark, final meeting.

Okay.

Yeah. And the way I structure it is to have the 1-month mark for the final meeting. Excuse me. I made seltzer water with a SodaStream. Yeah. I just took a big old sip. Now I'm burping. So I'm disgusting. What I like about the final meeting being a month out is it still gives time for all the last-minute details to come together. Um, but it's not so close to the wedding that they're super stressed out. So that means that you kind of roughly put together the timeline at that time. I typically send it to them after that just for them to review, and then I send it to the vendors at the 2-week mark. Um, so that would— 2 weeks? Wait, is that, is that a big or bad or good?

Okay, because I, I currently have a vendor who is like— I won't say her name, but please get off of me. Please, the wedding is not for another 4 months. Could you please, please relax? And I can't communicate this, but I just— I hope you can read it from my smile. I can't give that to you right now because it's not finalized. No, it's not. We're not even close.

So, well, have you communicated that I can't finalize it right now?

So what I've said is like Hi, look, I'm so happy that we're like all so excited for the wedding. I'm excited too, and I'm looking forward to working with you. Once we finalize with so-and-so, I'll send it to you right away. Like, that's pretty much it.

That's all I have for you.

That's all I got. I mean, we're 4 months out. Like, you are not getting anything. Anytime you can squat.

Yeah, well, I could just— I could just Google one and like send it to you and be like, this is temporary and it could change later. No. Oh, people. Oh, people.

Oh, but 2 weeks is interesting. Like, that would scare me. 2 weeks.

What's a time frame that makes you feel good?

Um, I guess it's not that much of a difference, but like, I feel like I would send it to the vendors like a month and then, oh, do you have anything you want to talk about? Chit-chat, change any spots. Yeah. Finalized by 3 weeks. So I guess it's not that different.

No, I mean, it's— I like to have the timeline to the couple 4 weeks in advance. Yeah. Um, but oftentimes there's so much going on in their lives that I'm like, you got 2 weeks to go over it. I'll follow up with you if I don't hear anything, and then I'll send it out to the vendors. So if they follow up with me and they give me the green light, then yeah, I'll send it to the vendors early.

Okay.

But I like to give them just a little bit of time. That, and for me as a vendor, Whenever I receive things that are too far in advance, if someone's like, oh, here's the, the catering timeline 6 months early, I'm like, I'm gonna forget about this and 90% of this is gonna change. Yeah. So for me, I prefer something that's pretty finalized really close to. And so that's the beauty of what we do is you can really send it out based on your preferences. There is no golden rule or golden standard, but I don't have— I do occasionally have a venue that's like, we require a timeline 30 days in advance. So I'll be like, okay, here's a, here's a temporary timeline. If anything should change, I'll, I'll send you a fresh one.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I feel like my— when working with my couple— I went to school for marriage and family therapy, so like working with the couples feels like I'm there all over again. But working with the vendors, it tests, it tests a woman's patience. And I'm a godly woman, but I— it tests my patience. A lot. A lot. So that can be, that can be rough, trying to build the name and something that goes beyond me and be professional but also have consistency.

So yeah, it's, it's almost more frustrating to feel like you have to create boundaries with vendors than it is with clients.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because you're like, you should, you should know this. You're, you're a whole adult running a business. Like, you should— do you behave this way with everybody? Like, is this, is this genuinely— like, do you ask for timelines for 4 months in advance from every single planner you work with or from your couples? That doesn't make any sense.

And why are you cop— I guess it's like, also, why are you copying everybody? Like, send me a text, call me, email me directly. Why are you putting everybody in it now?

Now I feel like I'm a blast. Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah. I— there was a— I totally shared about this in the mastermind before, but there was a videographer that was just horrid, horrid. He made the photographer cry, and she's a professional, and she was like angry crying. So it's not like she's like sobbing in the corner, she's like— they were running late, we needed to kickstart the reception. Um, I was notified like, hey, stuff's going on with photo and video, and I come over and the the photographer. I'm like, hey, how are you doing? Is everything okay? She's like, no, it's not. He keeps getting in front of my shots. Like, he's walking in front of her camera to get his shots, and she's like angry crying. Um, and so I go up to him and he's just pompous. He's pompous, he's rude. He's literally saying, no, you can't start the reception, I don't care if we're late attitude. Not exactly quote word for word, but basically like, no, you can't start. I promised them a shot inside. You can't let any guests inside. So I walk away and I'm like, oh, oh, oh, I'm so mad, but I don't want to— what do I do? And my assistant, God bless her, she's so sweet. She goes, Jamie, you're a mom. You're a mom who explains things to your children in a very rational way. Go do the same to him. And I was like, oh yeah. So then I go back and I was like, hey, I totally understand that you have to get the shot. I have 150 guests that we have no food left for them and they're antsy and they're chomping at the bit. I will give you 5 more minutes. If you can complete the shot in the next 5 minutes, it's all yours. But I also have to manage the temperature of the food and catering timeline, and I also need to make sure the photographer gets all their shots as well, as well as getting the couple to the actual event. So you got 5 minutes. If you can complete it during that time, that's great. If not, then maybe we can carve out some time for you to take the shot later. And he's like, but I just walked away.

That's it.

So there is that element of like, okay, I'll just I'll be, you know, gentle but firm. I'll be kind, but you're gonna hear the truth. And I'm gonna make sure that— because oftentimes we see with these other vendors, they get kind of pigeonholed into their own perspective, and they don't understand that we are seeing the entire thing, and all they can see is making sure they get their stuff done. That's all we have for this week's episode, guys. If you enjoyed it, do me a favor, screenshot that episode and share it on socials. Tag me in it. I would love to see Jamie Wolfer and Co on Instagram. Let me know if you're enjoying it. You can also let me know if you didn't enjoy it, but I'm probably not going to reshare that one. I hope you guys enjoy this week's episode, and we'll see you in the next one.