Jamie Wolfer planned a fantasy-themed wedding and sent guests detailed costume instructions with budget-friendly ideas and photos. The partner loved it, but the mother-in-law and sister-in-law called Jamie a bridezilla for the dress code, leaving them unsure if they crossed a line.
Am I the a-hole for giving my wedding guests a dress code? I am getting married to my partner and we have planned a fantasy/renaissance-themed wedding. Okay. By the way, I love ren fairs. That's not what that okay was. It just was like, oh, I see the direction this is going. We are massive fandom nerds—books, video games, movies, comics, etc.—and actually met at a ren fair and wanted that to be part of our wedding. But we discussed it with our close friends and everyone thought it was a great idea. Are they also ren fair people? Because usually they travel in packs. So we sent out the invitations plus an attached letter that explained why we wanted to have a themed wedding and examples of the type of things we wanted people to wear. Just Google Ren Faire if you want to see. Mm, how did you write it though? Was it in paragraph form or bullets, or was there a Pinterest board attached with idea— we included photos, descriptions, budget categories that went from how to DIY a costume using old/thrifted clothes to just straight out buying something online. We also asked people to reach out if they had any worries so so we could work something out. We have received a few messages from my closer friends saying they've heard other people, including some me and my partner's family members, calling me a bridezilla. Oh. Saying we are being unreasonable, that this is ridiculous, that they don't want to go if I'm going to get all up in arms over clothing. We need to see this letter if we can determine if you're being all up in arms or not. My soon-to-be mother-in-law and sister-in-law are especially pissed. I reached out to them after their names were mentioned and they said I am ruining what is supposed to be Happy Day by demanding people dress up like idiots. I was wondering if that's where this would go. They said everyone should be allowed to dress in what makes them feel comfortable, and I'm being very controlling. My partner says not to listen to them, but there are so many people saying it. I'm feeling pretty hurt by all this. I assume people would react like this if I said everyone needed to go out and spend hundreds on costumes, but we went out of our way to include pictures and suggest as many very low-budget options as possible. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal, but now I'm having second thoughts about this whole themed wedding idea. Am I the a-hole?
