Jamie Wolfer reacts to a bride's Renaissance fair dress code for wedding guests. Supporters say themed codes are fun and the bride offered budget accessories like flower crowns and a DIY station. Critics argue guests shouldn't be treated as props or forced to buy costumes, especially older relatives or those on tight budgets.
Am I the a-hole for giving my wedding guests a dress code? My soon-to-be mother-in-law and sister-in-law are especially pissed. Anyways, let's head to the comments. Not the a-hole. People give dress codes for weddings all the time. Yeah, also something they could rewear or something they feel good in too. Yes, it's strange for people not of the community. I am not into dressing up or nerd interest, but if someone I cared about wanted wedding photos to fit a theme, dang it, I'm matching the theme. I know someone who had a Halloween wedding. Did I want to wear a costume to a wedding? No. Did I? Yes. Unless someone expects me to drop hundreds of dollars for a one-time outfit, I'm doing my best to support their dream day. I think this right here is the line to where dress codes become a-hole behavior. I've been invited to holiday parties with color-themed cocktail attire dress codes, which I thought was completely entitled of the host. This is different. They included budget-friendly options. That's also— see, but I would also love to go to a cocktail party with like a festive theme. Yeah, they can have flower crowns and capes on hand. Those will easily add a whimsical vibe to someone who comes in a more traditional guest attire. This is the way guests can pick their awkward look, like party poopers, or wear something they wouldn't have picked. Yes, I like this. This is good. Accessories will be provided should you want to. You know, we'll have like fabric for sashes, we will supply flower crowns, we'll have a flower crown making station, because who knows, when they get there they might be more excited or more keen to doing it if everyone else is doing it. You know, like this is one of those situations where the social pressure might actually come in handy. Not the a-hole, but I hate this kind of stuff and would politely decline to attend your wedding, so be aware that this isn't something everyone wants to participate in. Me too. If the bride wants a theme, why not just get the bridal party to wear it instead of everyone? I'd rather just decline the invite than have to wear something I'm uncomfortable with. This person responds in all caps: GUESTS ARE NOT PROPS. I don't think that this is OP's intent was to turn people into props. I think they're trying to create a vibe. They're trying to have a ren faire wedding. Sorry, I don't like dressing up in clothing that makes me uncomfortable. It's not lazy. I just don't care to spend money on clothing I'd wear one time. "My money can be better used for my bills or savings." Well, sure. Okay. "I'm not going to spend my free time sorting through thrift stores for a costume. I just RSVP no immediately. They can dress up themselves and have to wedding party dress up." Can we proofread before we hit post, guys? Like, as a collective rule? "Guests shouldn't have to buy a whole new outfit for one day that won't fit any other wedding dress." "It's kind of crazy to expect elderly people or parents' generation to dress up like garden nymphs and swashbuckling swordsmen." But they're not. They said just wear a flower dress and the crown. What is— I see what you're saying. The ones she wants to frolic and play with after the wedding will be dressed in their finest ren faire garb. The rest will be background visuals. It's rude to expect this of everyone. They better prepare for a significant number of people declining the invite if they hold a hard line on this big ask. Are you having a theme for your wedding or is it just, I hope they don't wear cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt? That's the baseline. Go ahead and divulge in the comments.
