Starting a Wedding Planning Business, Booking Spanish-Speaking Clients, and Contracts That Protect You | Wedding Q&A

Hi and welcome to Union Podcast.

My name is Jamie Wolfer and I'm a wedding planner who absolutely loves to share how I got started and scaled my business to above 6 figures in this amazing and occasionally extremely competitive industry. In this podcast, I share the tech, tactics, mindset, and mistakes that got me to where I am today. No gatekeeping, no cloak and dagger, just full disclosure and a little humor along the way. So whether you're a planner or a solopreneur, my goal is for you to be a better business person than I ever could have been and support you on this journey. Let's dive into this week's episode. Today's episode is one of my favorite things in the entire world, and that is a live Q&A from one of our Union Mastermind calls.

I know you're gonna love it.

Take a listen.

I got into wedding planning because I'm currently planning my own wedding and absolutely love it. February 2026 bride. Would it be too much to continue planning my wedding and start my business? Okay, so this completely depends on your capacity to do things. I truly believe in the beginning when you start your business, Unless you're in a situation where husband's working full-time or you have someone else, you've got income coming in from another source and you're just like, I can take my time building my business. This is one of those nights and weekend businesses until you have enough to sustain yourself. So for me, um, when I got started, I was a stay-at-home mom. I had a whole, a whole lot of kids to take care of, which, you know, is delightful in and of itself, but I didn't do anything until evenings. Um, on weekdays or weekends because that worked better with our schedule. So my husband could watch the kids. This is the kind of thing where, how much time practically do you have? Are you working a full-time job? Are you going to school? How much time is your wedding planning taking you? So you might look at it and go, oh, I could totally do this. Or you might look at it and go, there's absolutely no way I can combine things. Um, do I think it's possible? Yes. Is it going to stretch you? Yes. But will building a business kind of stretch you anyways? Yeah, so Janelli, to answer your question, I can't. But, um, if you're in a situation like I was in the very beginning, yeah, you might be able to take on a client or two or maybe three while you're planning this. And you're like, that's cute, I want to take on 10. You've got time, you can make it work. Just be really practical about what your limitations are and don't bite off more than you can chew. That teeny monologue that I had in the very beginning, I just want you to have this perspective because obviously your wedding day is important and we want it to take precedent in your life. And as you know, as you're planning these things, things can get very emotional and they can feel very weighty and very heavy, especially the sooner that you get to the actual day of. So can you do both? Absolutely. Like, you do not need to be completed— you don't need to be completed with your wedding to be able to help someone else plan theirs. Will it give you better perspective? Yeah, absolutely. Is it required?

No.

There are plenty of unmarried wedding planners out there and they still know how to do it. They still know how to plan a wedding, so it's perfectly fine.

I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit that in the beginning I printed out every single piece of paper, every single contract. I took handwritten notes and created a binder for every single one of my wedding planning clients. Now, in theory, that sounds really cool, uh, and I thought I would look really cool showing up to these meetings with these binders that are full of all of these contracts with handwritten notes. But let me tell you the chaos that ensued when I tried to stay organized on my phone and got over 5 events at a time, it was a nightmare. Enter HoneyBook. I'm telling you guys, HoneyBook was literally exactly how my brain was processing wedding planning, but just in digital form. It's so easy to go in there and make any sort of customizations that you want, from adjusting your contracts to adjusting your packages, maintaining conversations back and forth that not only pop up in the app on the website but also in your inbox as well. It's a great way to stay organized. So get out of the paper and get onto the digital. Head to Wolfer www.bonancore.com/hb and use code UNION at checkout to get the best deal. We interrupt this podcast because there is something extremely special that I want to share with you guys. Uh, I don't know about you, but for the last who knows how many years, I have been using a Frankenstein Googled copied and pasted contract. And while that is extremely embarrassing to admit to all of our listeners, I know that there are people out there who feel the same as I do. And there were a couple of things that kept me from actually getting an attorney drafted contract. Actually, no, there was one one thing. It was so expensive and it seemed so out of reach. That's when I learned about LegallySet. You see, Kunbi with LegallySet has created industry-specific contracts for people like you and me working in the wedding industry. They're easy to customize, they're drafted by an actual attorney and not Googled. Can you imagine that? And last but not least, they are so extremely affordable. So if you were like me and maybe using a less than appropriate and/or legal contract, it's time to step up your game. You have no more excuses. Head on over to theunionpodcast.com/legallyset to check them out. Use code UNION for 20% off your contracts.

I'm in Austin, Texas, and I would like my audience to be Spanish speakers. How do I find the right audience? Put out what you would like to receive. So if you specifically want a certain culture, a certain cultural subset. Um, if you want to be an expert in a certain kind of weddings, we've had a gal in here before who was in Montana and a bunch of people, um, elope in that area. And so I was like, you should kind of lean into the whole elopement idea there because you could be like the premier person in that area of Montana to help people get married. Cause they're just, they're coming in from out of town and they don't know who to work with and you could just be their go-to gal. There's a situation like this, this is perfect. That's exactly what you're going to want to do. So here's what I want on your website. I want Spanish. I want it to be putting out that vibe of like, you can go bilingual on the website should you want to. But if you want Spanish speakers, you should probably have a Spanish website or at least half of it be Spanish. If you want to do some Spanglish and have some fun with it, it's all about your personality and how much you really want to infuse this website with that spirit. I also want that on your Instagram. I also want that in what you're saying and how you're speaking on Instagram stories if and when you show up online. So if you want to do a mix of both, perfectly fine. I also know some captioning options that will do both, that will translate for you. There's got to be some sort of AI for that. You know what? If there isn't, we're going to find it. But I'm pretty sure I've seen content creators do that where you can have multiple options for the captioning. So if you're really wanting to be intentional on this, You gotta make sure what you're putting out there is the kind of audience that you want to draw in, the kind of clientele that you want to draw in. This is not just limited to what language they speak. I, for one, am a huge fan of a good moody wedding. Like, I'm a huge fan, okay? If a bride is wearing a black dress, I'm like, "This is awesome!" Now, do I turn down the super girly weddings or the eucalyptus and the baby's breath and the hydrangeas? No. Absolutely not. Do those exist on our website? Yep, sure do.

Love them.

Absolutely. But there's something special about jewel tones. There's something special about just that little, like, breakaway from the norm that I really, really enjoy. So those are the kind of things that I want to make sure is present on my website somewhere. What we're doing here is we're creating a brand where clients can see themselves on your website. They can see themselves on your Instagram. When you're talking about your ideal client, they go, that's me. That sounds exactly like what I want. So this could be language like, um, laid-back couples, easygoing, or into the details, Type A. I don't know if I would necessarily use Type A in any of my marketing language or any of my copy, the words on the website. Um, but you can really define what it is that you're looking for in a couple by how and what you say and the kind of pictures you put out there. So is that you? Is that going to be completely limiting? No, you will still get people outside of that. You'll get people who are like, oh, I'm fun-loving. They're like super Type A. They're not fun-loving if they're Type A, but you'll get, you'll still get a mix of people. It's not ostracizing. It's not anything like that. It's just speaking a little bit of intention because you want a couple to go, you know what, I could, I could see myself here. I could see myself working with this planner. I could see myself. Having them design my event or run my wedding day. Cause like I see myself on these pages. Um, so that's kind of how we direct people to build their websites all the time. Always. That's, that's really the heart of what you're building is making sure that you know what in the, in the biz, it's called your ideal client avatar. What would they look like? What would your ideal client be? And this is actually a really good exercise to do if you haven't done so already. What would the ideal budget be that you're going to work with? And if you're in the very beginning, you're like, I'll, I'll work with anything. I'll work with, I'll work with all of it. It's fine. You will hone that back in. You will return back to that and go, maybe not everything. For me, for example, I will not take on an event, at least I will not work in person, um, or work long-term with them if it's under $20,000. It makes no fiscal sense, none, for them to hire me if they have $20,000 or less than $20,000. Have I had people that I'll give like an hour or two long consultation to, to make sure they're getting off on the right foot? Yes. Well, I recommend other planners in my stead who might be more affordable. Yes, but it doesn't make sense for me to work with anyone under that amount because they need that money for other things. So as you're building this ideal client avatar, you also want to think about things like budget. Guest list. Do you want to work a 500-person wedding? Do you want to work a cultural wedding where there's 3 days worth of work? Does that sound like a good plan to you? Or you're like, that is overwhelming, I don't think I can do that, and honestly, I don't know if I want to. So, um, or what would my pricing look like for something like that if I got presented with that opportunity? I'm so out of breath.

One, sometimes I just end up talking so much that I'm like Breathe, Jamie Wolfer.

Um, so, uh, yeah, I think, I think that this is a good lesson. I think this is a great example. It's super hyper-specific. So thank you so much for, for asking about this one. Um, and this is not a permanent state of mind. It's not a permanent state of being. So if you were like, I'm going to be the moody wedding planner of the century, great. You get 2 years into this and, or even 3 events into this. And you're like, you know what? I don't, I don't know if I want to do just, you know, this culture of weddings or just the style of weddings. I kind of want to mix it up. I want to try other things. Do it. Absolutely. It's not limiting. It's not intended to be limiting. So just use this as an experiment of sorts and see if your language and your photos and the overall vibe that you're putting out there brings you in the sort of clientele that you're looking for. So what is it that you're wanting to work on for your business?

The whole legal contract, getting my ducks in their rows. Like I said, I'm good with the wedding itself, I'm good with the consult, I think I'm pretty decent with the consultation. It's just the legal stuff, you know, the stuff that isn't fun, you know, the bookkeeping, the contract.

It's the least spicy part of what we do.

Exactly, exactly. Let's let me have a party. Let's do the party. It's all good.

I have to run. I have to do math.

Exactly. Well, and I do other things besides wedding. I mostly do weddings, but I've also done showers, baby showers, especially now because a bunch of my former brides, you know, they're having babies. It happens. Let's do the shower. Yeah.

Well, and how sentimental is that for them as the parent to be like, she was our wedding planner, now she's planning our baby shower.

It is. It's pretty cute. And it's really cool when I get to do couples. I mean, I did a— I was just watching a video on my Facebook page that just kind of going through my Facebook to see what it looked like. And, you know, following some of your advice and trying to clean it up, spice it up, whatever, make it interesting. Watched one of the videos, it was like, oh, because a couple I've known him since he was— before he was born. I've known her since she was about 5 years old., and I got to share with their day and, you know, all that family and friends. And it was such a special day. And it was my, my ideal wedding. I had to have her come back for a second time and her mom and sister came with her. I was like, I just have to make sure that everything that I wrote down is you and not me. And her mom's like, oh, it's one and the same.

So those kinds of clients are straight magic.

Yes.

When you just click, you vibe and you're like, I know exactly what this client wants because I can just see the energy in the direction they want to take this.

Yes. And it was at a wonderful horse ranch down in Temecula. Since you're from this area, you know, the area. And it was just, I mean, all the moody fall colors that I love and just— and then I watched the video. I don't know if you know Brian Garcia, the videographer. He's from Orange County. And he— we've worked together quite a few times, and I just watching that video, it's like he got them. I mean, that video is just them. I was in tears, so I had to write Brian a note.

Yeah, I can't handle this, man. You're too good at this.

He's giving me a cry in the middle of the day.

I was ill-prepared for this moment. Like, I wasn't prepared to blubber. Okay, thanks, Brian.

Exactly.

Man, I feel like for us as wedding planners, it is so— getting a good videographer is so underrated. Because if you're like, can I, can I just get my hands on that footage? Like, I'll blast you on everything. I'll tag you in everything. I just would love some of this footage. It just feels like it's unparalleled.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. I've got— we don't love our photographers, but, but photographers and, you know, photographers, I look at pictures that I take at a wedding. Of our setup and stuff, and then I look at the photographer and go, yeah, that's why you get paid that money.

This is why— this is why that's not my job. It's not my job. I envy people that could pick up a camera and make anything look like art, and I make it look like, like my 2-year-old took the picture.

Like, it's not good, right?

I don't understand. I get the rule of thirds, okay? I try, I try very hard, but it's not the same.

I agree.

Okay, so we're working on the legalities of it. We're working on what it looks like because— how long have you been doing weddings?

Um, I think I started in '18.

Yeah, so you've been doing them with plenty of time. Is this a full-time gig for you? Is it like on the side?

It's, it's on the side. I jokingly say that I, I do anything that I can legally make money at. So I'm kind of a jack of all trades, a serial entrepreneur. That's right. I do a little bit of everything. So, but 18 is when I actually started. I started it into a job. I was kind of pushed. I wasn't pushed, kind of pushed. I was shoved into it from a friend.

I had no say.

Pretty much. He— I had done, I had done a wedding. I'm very connected with our local fairgrounds up here in San Bernardino County. And I had done a wedding at the fairgrounds for a dear friend of mine, and the fair manager was like, oh, you need to help us with this Bridal Quinceañera Expo, and you need to do a booth for me, and you need to do this, and you need to have a business name, and you need to get business cards. Oh, oh, crazy just hit me. Yeah.

Oh, you— so when you said you were forced into it, this is no joke. No, you had no say.

Yep, pretty much so. And I love it. I, I absolutely love my job because I get— I mean, I get to celebrate with people on, on a fantastic day, on their best day so far, you know.

Oh, and yes, actually, I do know.

Yes, you do, you do. It's—

I know it intimately.

Yes, and I've worked with amazing people. I've not had any, any bad people, so I'm very fortunate. And like I said, I, I do other things besides weddings, so there's, you know, I get to celebrate with people.

Yeah, and, and I think the beauty of that mindset and that idea is like celebrating with people, also removing the burden of running the event so they can just celebrate. Exactly, right?

Exactly. Our little—

I don't mind folding napkins or getting down to the nitty-gritty as long as the bride is like glowing cool on it.

Exactly. You know, our little— what is it, a tagline? Whatever our motto is, you know, affordable elegance and peace of mind. And that's what me and my girls try to do.

Yeah, girls. So you've already built out a team?

I do have girls that work for me. I call them all my girls even though all of them are adults. Oh yeah, my son got married in Missouri and I— we got together. I called— two of them have moved out to Kansas, so I called them and said, hey, I need you.

Yeah, so unfortunately can't really run this thing.

Yeah, because I am, you know, want to be mother of the groom that day. So I handed everything over to them. They were surprised and impressed that I was able to do it.

You're able to let go?

I'm just slightly OCD.

Okay, I'm glad that Rebecca does not have her microphone on right now because Rebecca has worked years of weddings by my side and she'll be the first person to tell you I don't even sit down to eat. And they'll be like, Jamie, you gotta eat. I'm like, I can't, I can't do it.

No, because if you do, you don't tell me what to do.

Yeah, all of a sudden the DJ's like, hey, I have a question. You're like, absolutely, like trying to chew, embarrassed that you're feeding yourself. I'm so sorry you saw me eating.

Uh, yes, I was eating once at a wedding and all of a sudden I see the bride and groom go off with the photographer and I'm like, she's gonna need help because it's dirt everywhere. And my girls are like, you need to eat your tacos.

Not now, not now, tacos can wait. Rebecca said, so true. Nobody asked you, Rebecca. Okay, so right now we need to work on the business side of things.

Yes.

Legal, I feel like, well, we obviously talk about legally set in the program itself, but I also have talked about quite a few other things. Where do you feel like you are at with setting that part up?

Um, I just saw this, I just started this last, the end of last week. So, um, I did see that. I haven't looked into it yet because I've been trying to read all your stuff and watch a few, a few videos. And yeah, you know, everything was glitching and spinning today. I'm like, come on, just play the video.

No, that's not what we want.

Sorry, I live out here in the middle of nowhere and sometimes the, the Wi-Fi pretends like it's out in the middle of nowhere.

So, okay, so you're in Santa Bernadine County. What city are you in?

We are, we are up in a town called Phelan. We are west of Victorville.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, high desert.

Yeah, real high desert. Yeah, it's real hot and real cold. Yeah, you get actual seasons.

Yes. Well, No, because it's either hot or windy or cold. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

That's fair. You don't get like a mild fall.

No, no, we get wind in springtime. We get wind.

Yeah, well, because I grew up in Orange County and then moved out to Murrieta afterwards, but the Santa Anas— oh, you would live in chapstick.

Well, and when you guys have the Santa Anas, we don't have wind, but we have wind the rest of the time, so Yeah, whatever. Oh, it's fun to do weddings in the wind, you know, and other events. It's, um, yeah.

No, it's not.

Trying to tell myself it is.

Gosh, how many times do we learn, like, okay, your makeup's gonna run because your eyes are watering super bad, you can't see anything, that's a piece of paper that you have propped up on something is falling over, and so you're taping it down or adding a weight to something. Kiss the table numbers goodbye, those aren't there anymore, they gone. They're not, they're not here.

Everything's gone.

All the signage is just, you know, it's in the next town. You're just like, well, that's fine. Yep.

I had a little backyard wedding for a friend's daughter, and this is the second event we'd had in their little tiny backyard, and the wind was howling. They're over in Apple Valley, up on a hill, and holy moly, the wind was knocking everything down. We had multiple clips on, on tablecloths, and they were just The wind was blowing so hard that even with them clipped down, silverware was flying off the table.

Oh my gosh.

And the cowhide flew off the sweetheart table.

Could you imagine getting whipped in the face with that? Rebecca says wind is the worst enemy. RIP, or goodbye, bud vases. Oh yes, yeah, yeah, they're gone, they're gone.

Water's everywhere.

Yes, I, I almost feel like I would prefer Like, I'll take a light drizzle, I'll take some rain because, you know, hopefully it will wipe off the seats and things will dry off. Obviously no one wants the entirety to be rained out, but wind, the decor is gone, the hair is destroyed, the makeup's melting, you know. So how do you feel like, are you, do you currently have packages that you offer or is it like, we're just going off vibes, we're just going off vibes?

I don't have packages, which I need to put together, obviously. I tell people I just want to sit down with them, figure out exactly what they want, what they want me to do, and then I can put something together and give them a proposal based on what they want to do.

Sure. So is there like a minimum that you lead with or you're just like, once you have the meeting, then you put together a package?

Correct. That's what I do. Okay. And I've, I've worked after listening to you, you know, you talk about you don't do rentals and stuff. I've built that into my prices. So if they're doing signage and stuff, I'm not going to nickel and dime them. It's $10 for this and $15. It's just, this is the price and it includes all of this because, yeah, I don't want to nickel and dime people.

And it's, it's the creating a custom menu of items that can get quite a bit tedious. And the reason that I say that is obviously as brand new planners, we lack the confidence to present ourselves. Just as a planner. And so oftentimes we will bolster that up with, I also do invitation design, I also do florals, I also do rentals, as an effort to make ourselves feel like we are worth what we are charging. So that's always my cautionary tale when people get started is like, make sure you're not doing this because you don't feel like you're worth it. If you're established, I mean, you've been doing this for 7 years now. I see no problem with you offering rentals.

Yeah.

Sorry. Was that, was that too to watch that out loud.

That was shocking, right?

This year is my 10-year anniversary for doing it. I was like, oh no, I'm not prepared to make those kinds of statements out loud.

That's amazing.

It's been, it's been quite a long haul, but obviously so is yours. So, okay, so what made you want to take the leap if you've already been doing this for, you know, three-quarters of a decade? Let's just add more salt to that wound. Let's just make it sound—

appreciate that. We'll get along fine. Yeah, I'm telling you, Nikki, I'm not comfortable. Most of my work has been with people that I know, friends or friends of friends, that kind of stuff. And I'm just not comfortable with what I have is not a true contract. It's basically just an— and I actually don't even say contract, it's an agreement. I'm going to do this and you're going to pay me that. And that's not legal. And if anything were to ever happen, I need to be covered.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And it's— you probably have been operating from a position of convenience because you haven't had to worry about it too much.

So far, right?

Yeah. So you're a great case study to say, like, you can literally start and not do any of this if you don't want to. Yeah, you could.

It's not suggesting that you can do this.

Would you be legally protected? Not so much.

But I want more of a professional look, and by getting a real contract and doing some of these steps that you talk about, it's gonna— you know, I don't even have a website just because I'm not technologically savvy at all.

Yeah. Well, and to be fair, a majority of the people who go through this course are not.

Yeah.

We don't want to be like, we're not in this because we're website designers. No, no. So that's why we love like something easy, like Squarespace, or, you know, I'm just going to plug in some photos and hope for the best. So yeah, I think, I think that there's, you're in good company. I think we can appreciate a pretty website, but make one, you know, Yeah, I tried to be good about just putting pictures up on my Facebook.

Yeah, which feeds over to Instagram because I just—

yeah, but also what you've been doing has worked. You also probably get a lot of word-of-mouth recommendations, huh?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah. There's a photographer that we've worked with in the past and he's a very high-end photographer He literally has one photo on Instagram and it's his social experiment. He books— I think he charges over $10,000 a wedding.

Holy moly.

Oh, Nikki, I'm talking like he's like up there.

Yeah, I'll bet.

He opens his books, he gets booked up for like 10 events a year and then he closes them and it's all through Facebook and I believe through word of mouth because he literally only has one photo on Instagram. So he is always like a glorious case study that I love to highlight because you don't have to do Instagram. Instagram happens to be an avenue that I enjoy a lot. Also, obviously I do YouTube, but that doesn't mean that I'm telling everyone to go out and buy a vlogging camera and do all this stuff. So you're actually also another great case study of like, you still can bring in business. Now the pace at which you've grown has probably been a little bit slower, right? Because you're not actively trying to like fill your calendar.

Well, there's been a couple of years that I was super busy, which was fantastic. And then there's been other years like this one, you know, I have minimal events, so I would like to have more events. I'd like to have, you know, maybe 12 a year.

Yeah. What's, what's minimal and what's super busy? Like, what's that look like historically for you?

The year that I had that I was super busy, I think I had 18 events in the year. And, you know, it's me by myself. Not— I'm not by myself. I've got my girls, you know, that are doing this on the side. And unfortunately, they keep getting married and moving away and having children. I don't know what's up with that. But that being said, I got to do one of my girls' weddings after she was already working for me, and it was down at the Chino Airport. And we had— it was so special to do one of my girls' weddings. We had a blast. And all the girls that I called said, hey, we're gonna do Lexi's wedding. They're like, I'm in, I'm in, I'll make sure I'm available that day.

Okay, so how did you build this company culture? Because what I'm hearing from you is you have built a company culture where you have gals who are wanting to work with you. They hear about someone else's event and they're like, we are so invested in who this team is and we like each other so much that we wouldn't, we wouldn't miss it for the world. So can you think of what you might have done to help build this style of culture in your company?

Remember I said that I do a lot of things, I wear a lot of hats. Um, yeah, I am the junior fair board advisor for San Bernardino County Fair, so that puts me in touch with a lot of people and a lot of younger— I don't use the boys because, you know, I've used them for teardown but not for setup. Yeah, but some of these girls, women that I use, were on my Junior Fair Board team at one point. They're alumni. The gal who does my flowers, because we do offer floral, she's actually a dairyman up here in the high desert, up in— not Hinckley. Yeah, Hinckley. It is Hinckley. So, you know, it's the connection through the fair. I mean, it's a small world. And I've got a couple of young ladies that were on— one is on my team currently. Another one was on my team that I'm just now bringing on and training them and seeing how they're going to do. And they're, they're helping me out with stuff. So that's how I, I get these ladies from the agriculture community, of all things. But they know how to work. They're strong, they're willing, they're capable. And they can put up with me and my just ever so slightly OCD.

I feel like, I feel like farm kids are built different.

They are completely, yeah, different.

I was— oh gosh, I was raised in the suburbs, but I'd always wanted land and animals, and now we have that, and our kids are just like the most go-getter, yeah, I'll figure it out kind of attitude. I'm like, I want to employ you.

Yes.

It's great.

And that's, and that's who I employ.

Yeah. And I— if you can wrestle a cow.

Yes.

But because you said she, she does milking. Is that what you said?

Oh yeah. Yeah, she's a dairyman. Yeah. And she does amazing flowers. She's from Holland. So she's got this very thick Dutch accent.

What? I love her.

Oh, we do. She's amazing. I, I took her to Texas with me for a wedding. I took her to Missouri for my son's wedding.

Oh my goodness.

Yes, just put her on a plane, steal her from her husband for a couple of days, and off we go.

Okay, we'll send her my way because my daughters are going out of town for church camp and I gotta milk the goats every morning. So I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, who signed up for this?

That's why my kids never did, um, they never did anything they had to milk. We did cattle, we did hogs, we did sheep, we did horses. We didn't do anything. Yes, kids, both kids grew up in 4-H. Daughter did FFA for a couple of years. And like I said, I've been the junior fair board advisor for 15 years now, and I was a 4-H leader before that for 28 years.

So, oh, that's incredible. We want to do 4-H, but I keep not committing to it. I just, I think it'd be so fun.

It is. It's, it's a great experience for your whole family. And the whole point is to raise better people. You're raising our future, and we need our future to have a work ethic and to be able to talk to someone and look them in the eye and shake their hand and volunteer to do something and follow it through.

Yes, absolutely. And I feel like when you're caring for animals outside of yourself, gives you a level of compassion and a level of understanding.

Yes.

That you don't get outside of caring for some— I mean, maybe babysitting or something of that nature. Sure. But yeah, it's a whole nother level. So it sounds like you're pursuing people who already have a heart for things outside of themselves. I'm trying to find a way to make this relatable for anyone who happens to be listening. If they're building out a team, you want to look for someone— you want to look for the helpers.

Yes.

And you want to look for someone who's already established themselves as a helper. That's a great way of really narrowing that down of like, I know who to bring onto my team. People who already care about things outside of themselves.

Well, and people who can have self-initiative can look at my very detailed list and just do it and not wait for me to say, oh, you need to— that isn't straight over there, or oh, could you go fix that, or hey, that fell over. Just why do I have to tell you? Look around, be observant, and just take care of it. Because here's the list, and my list is so detailed anybody can come on and just go do it because it tells you, you know, there's this many tables, this many chairs at the tables. Here's the, this chart for which table is which number. This is what goes on the table. It's detailed because, like I said, slightly OCD.

Um, you know, that's the territory.

You can take that. I want people to be able to take that list and just go do it without asking me every time I turn around What do I need to do now? What do I need to do now? Look at the list. I ain't got time to tell you what to do.

I know. And so Rebecca, who's on the call with us, she's the other half of my brain.

Perfect.

All of a sudden she'll come to me and she'll be like, oh, so I just went and did this. I'm like, of course you did. Of course you did that.

Yes.

And so, but it's that initiative. And so I think that that can be, I think that that needs to be spoken out loud. I need you to be aware and go handle things before they become a problem. Even if it's straightening a tablecloth or fixing a candle. Like, I don't, I don't care. I cannot answer all of your questions. I need you to have the impetus. The onus needs to be on you. You gotta do a little bit of yourself to get out there. And then I just watch and see if they actually will, because that's a huge indicator. Is it nerve-wracking working your first wedding?

Yeah.

Sure is. But you don't have to talk anybody to like straighten a tablecloth. You don't have to talk to anybody to make sure a sign's not falling over. You can just go do that.

That's right. Yeah, exactly. And exactly what you said. They've got to just be able to— I have a couple of girls that they know, but I'll go, oh, I got to go do, and then I turn around and, oh, it's done. Excellent. Good job.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yes.

And it does take a while to kind of hone in your senses for what you need and what you want in an assistant. At least I feel that way, because at first I was like, oh, anybody could do this. It's not hard. And the more I got into it, I was like, not quite anybody. Maybe not anybody, you know, you need a little, little something out of you.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

OK, so the hope is— oh, sorry, go ahead.

No, no, go ahead. Go ahead.

So the hope is that we're going to straighten up what the paperwork looks like so you can expand beyond just people you know. And get yourself to what, 15 to 20 events a year?

Yes, that'd be perfect.

Yeah, that sounds like something. And I love that your goal is like so achievable because you're looking at what, 1 to maybe 2 events per month if they're all spaced out evenly?

Yes.

Which of course they never are in wedding planning.

No, they're not. But that also allows me— and that's one thing is I like about this job is I know what my schedule for the, for the year looks like as far as, you know, fairs and camping trips and this and that and that and this. So I can work around that. And yeah, you know, May— no, I'm not doing an event in May. You're out of your ever-loving mind. No, May is terrible.

I was just gonna say, is that a lot of fair stuff happening in May?

Our fair is that month, and I am overcommitted with our fair, so I don't— and I had a— years ago I had a wedding the weekend before Fair, and it's like, you're just killing me here, just killing me. But it was a small wedding, so never again.

Well, see, but that's the thing, even a small wedding— I think my smallest wedding was 50 people on a Monday, and I was like, I got this in the bag. Nope, still stressful, still, still a wedding.

Oh, I was at Fair, and I had— I'd already talked to this gal that I've known her for years, and her daughter was getting married, and she's like, so, um This was on a Friday. This is the last Friday of May. And she says, okay, so Bailey's gonna get married on Father's Day of this year. She's like, yes, it's 2 weeks away.

Okay. And without her asking you to work it?

Yeah. Oh gosh, I'm like, um, okay, uh, I, I'm free for a couple hours. Let's meet at Starbucks. Let's talk.

She's like A couple of hours? I need half a day, okay? I need you to clear your schedule. We're sitting down, we're stretchy pants, we're not going anywhere for a while. Goodness gracious. I think the closest I ever got was like 12 weeks, but 2 weeks, 2 weeks before, that's, that's hot.

I've had 2, I've had 3 weeks, and I've had 6 weeks. Yeah, a couple of them. Yeah, it's a It's crazy times. It's like, but it's all been people that I've known. And yeah, like, God, you people are trying to kill me. No, you got this, you got this.

You're so good at this though. And you're like, because I'm dying inside, you better hope I got help. Yeah, my innards look like Craisins right now. I can't even stop to water myself.

Exactly, exactly. Well, I am looking forward to going through this program and using your resources because you appear to have it all on the ball.

Well, you know, we most certainly try. You know, what I also like to do is be very transparent about all the ways that I screwed up because I just feel like that's one of the best ways that you can learn is through someone else's mistake. Oh yeah, if I mess something up, I want to be like, oh, by the way, um, like, don't get your Don't get your contract off of Google and Frankenstein it together. That's not—

that's not going to—

that's not legally binding. Just because that was me in the beginning, like, just like you. I was like, "Fair enough. Fine. No one's going to sue me." And luckily nobody did. But then I was like, "Oh, I should probably, you know, beef this up a little." Yeah, exactly. Well, what are some questions that I can answer for you? Do you have any?

Um, excuse me, I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Like I said, I just started going through this just last week and, um, trying to get through things and, you know, with regular life going on, go figure. Um, so I, I got so many notes, I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but I do appreciate everything you've put out there, especially, especially all the legal stuff though. When you talked to— I didn't write his name down— the business tips with the accounting advice. I appreciated that very much.

Oh my gosh, I was like, oh wait, I'm not doing that. And he was my accountant. I was like, oh, did I— should I be doing— should I be doing that? This is what I'm talking about. Like, if I'm screwing something up, I'll tell you.

Yeah. Well, that's good.

Yeah. Well, I feel like my goal is to make planners who are better than me. Like, that's the whole goal of this program is like, I would rather you guys have more business and run your weddings better than I ever have, because then I wouldn't be doing my job right. Like, if I'm not going to be super blatant about like, oh, that was bad. That was not the right move. Well, then other people might try it and then also learn that lesson.

And that's the way to be, you know, we just, I think that's what we're here for is to help build better people. You know, whether it's— it's not just my business. I don't see why people— and it seems to me in this business, maybe it's just where I live, um, people don't want to talk to others. Oh, you're, you're, you're a wedding planner. I can't talk to you. Why not? Yeah, why can't we share?

What's, what's— do you think I'm gonna steal all of your clients? Like, what is, what is happening? There's plenty for both of us. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And I was— I went on to whatever website it was and there was— I don't know how I got on there. Oh, I think I just Googled wedding planners in my area and there's like 2 that are on that list and one of them hasn't posted anything in like 4 years. So I'm thinking they may not be doing this anymore.

Yeah, maybe.

I don't know.

Yeah. If they've gone radio silent for 4 years, my guess is you're probably right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But in the meantime, I, I mean, today I went on and texted some people I've done their weddings and, and showers and stuff, said, hey, send a review in, would you? You know, let's, let's get something moving here. And got another young lady who used to live here, lives in Tennessee now, and she just got engaged, and she posted a picture, and I said, you know, Don't forget, I would, you know, if you, if you need any help with, you know, you might be planning any kind of a special event, and she writes back and she goes, yeah, exactly, just like, so you're saying you want to do a destination wedding? Heck yeah! I did Texas.

You bet your bottom dollar I do.

Yeah, did Texas, Kansas, Missouri.

Let's do Tennessee, let's throw it in there, throw it on the pile at this point, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Now, how do you feel like you're doing financially off these weddings? Do you feel like you're profitable? Like, at the end of the day, do you like the number that you see, or do you feel like I could probably make more? Where do you feel like you land emotionally with that?

I feel like I could make more, and I've got a wedding coming up, a friend of mine, in, in October, and I'm— I feel like I'm actually going to make some money off of that one. I'm getting better about, you know, but it's tough. Like you— the, the video I watched today, you were talking about, you know, feeling what you're worth and an imposter and that kind of stuff. Just— and it's hard when it's a friend of yours too. Charger. Yes.

Well, I was just gonna say, for you, it's such a passion project. For you, this is like— this is a piece of your heart going into all these events. So you're like, it feels wrong to profit off of this.

Exactly.

Because this is their wedding day. It's a sacred and wonderful and beautiful day, and I can't, I can't do that to them, especially because you know them.

Yes.

Yeah. So there's that element of like, well, you know, in order to be a good friend, or in order to be, you know, nice to these people whom I adore, who I've known their parents since before they were even born, like, I can't. Yeah, there is that element of like uncomfortableness.

Exactly, exactly.

But what I find really admirable is you have not burnt out You have not charged so low that you went, I'm over this, I'm out.

Yeah, no, no, I keep trying to— not trying hard enough to grow because honestly I've gotten to the point where the whole legal thing has just scared me. So that's why I wanted to get the contract in, you know.

Yeah, well, it's kind of like a governor on how much you can grow.

Yes, there you go. Yes. Yeah.

Where you're just like, if you can remove the bumpers from the bowling lane, you could— you feel like you could grow a little bit better, or at least shoot your shot a little bit harder.

Yes.

And there is something a little bit nice about not working with people you know when it comes to the imposter syndrome and when it comes to the price point too.

Yes, I could see that. Yes.

Yeah, I remember, uh, a girlfriend of mine who I grew up with, we used to have a lemonade stand together. She contacted me to do her wedding and I was like, Oh, okay. Here's my pricing. Don't get mad. And her mom was like, fabulous. Totally fine. I was like, okay. Like sweating. I was like, I don't— this makes me uncomfortable because like, we were in diapers together. So there is that sentimental element of it where you're just like, oh no, oh no, oh no. Please don't judge me off this amount, you know?

Yes, I do.

You're like, actually, yes, I do.

No, very much.

You just described my entire business model.

I don't get nearly as, um, shall we say, sick to my stomach when I send out a proposal. Because it used to be I just sit there and my husband's just going, send it already.

Like, aye aye, go away, why are you here? No one invited you, sir.

Because his business is so, so much more cut and dry than this is.

What does he do?

He's a land surveyor.

Uh, yeah, it's very cut and dry.

Yes. Yeah, he has no problem with, with those dollar signs, and I do.

Nope. And he has to be very clear, like you have to be very detailed.

Yes, yes.

It's not like, well, the marker could be here, it could be 100 feet that way. Nope, it is what it is.

That's right.

Uh, does he also make comparisons to what he does and what you do as if they're the same thing?

No. Okay, no.

See, you dodged that bullet. My husband does— works for a general contractor, and when I try to vent about, you know, vendors or things like that, he's like, oh yeah, these subcontractors, like, I'm going through the same thing. I'm like, just let me have my moment. It is not the same. It is not the same thing, you know?

Yeah, yeah. No, no. And we also don't work together. He's, um, because he does things one way and I do things another way, and it doesn't mesh. And so he's, he's helped me with a couple of things, with just little minor things, but it, it doesn't always work so well because of that. We're packing up to go to my son's wedding, and he couldn't understand why I had fabric and all these different totes. Well, because this one's for the altar, and this is for the beverage bar, and this is for the tables, and this is for this, and that was for that. And he's like, no, all the fabric should be in one thing. And I So you want my girls to run all over the frickin' place, right? No, I need to find the right fabric for this. And my girls—

I wanted your organizational input. I would ask for it.

Well, then when my girls found out about it, they're like, oh, hell no.

Uh-uh, don't let him touch anything.

And then on the way home, yeah, pack it up. It just, it just packed because when I get home, that's when I sort it. I don't care where it ends up.

Oh yeah, no, no, on the way home.

No, we're good.

You know what, light some of it on fire for all I care.

Wrap all that chiffon around those chandeliers, it'll work. I took chandeliers to Missouri, so— of course you did, Nikki. Why wouldn't you? It was a cool old barn and it needed chandeliers, so we fixed it. Yeah.

Oh my gosh, I love everything about— and that was your son's wedding, right?

That's my son's wedding.

Yeah, no, you pull out all the stops. Oh yeah, family, you're like, oh no, no, no, no.

Oh yeah, when his, when his lovely wife asked me if I would be her wedding consultant, I'm like, yes, here we go.

Yes, I've trained for this moment. It's like Rocky music's playing in the background, right? You're like, I got this.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah, we had a great time. We had an absolute blast. And but I did have one thing I did have to do is I'd asked my friend that lives in Kansas if she would be me for that day. And then it dawned on me that I don't have written down what I do.

What did you do with that? Did you write down your SOP then?

Actually, what I did was I am because I also drive for a dealership. So I was working and driving. And I just— you do? Of course I do.

Of course you do. Yeah.

So you've got that lovely thing on your phone, the recording thing. And so I recorded it. I just went through my day from the time I get on property and just went through, and then I sat down and typed it all up.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah.

How long did that end up? How many pages was that?

Uh, I, I think it's like 3 pages, and it goes along with the regular schedule of everything else that has to happen. So, yeah, it was, and it was interesting to really stop and look in writing at everything I do. Yeah.

Was that like, oh my goodness, I do a lot, or oh shoot, there's gaps in this, or maybe I do too much? Like, what, what was your, what was the vibe after writing it all down?

No, it was just more of, wow, I do a lot. And yeah, you know, it's a good thing that I can keep myself organized, but it's nice to have that written down.

Yeah.

So if anything were to ever happen and I needed someone to fill in for me, you know, God forbid, I send that to them and go, here you go, here's the schedule, here's what's already written. And then this is, this is me. Yeah.

I feel like that is such a good lesson for everyone that's listening right now, especially because you, you already have the event experience itself. Figuring out how to write out your standard operating procedures is one of the most daunting tasks you will do as a wedding planning business owner, because it's just like, when am I going to have the time? What if I miss something? What if I forget? This is overwhelming. Like, how am I supposed to write everything down that I do in a day? So I kind of like your method of just, I'm just going to word vomit.

Yes.

Right into my Notes app. And then, and then I'll get home and I'll figure it out from there. Like, you know what? It's just because you can always add things in that you happen to have missed. So I think this is a really good practice for those of you that have been doing this for a while. To, to try something like this. What does it look like? What do you do first? What do you do second? Who do you check in with first? What are some of your main priorities, etc.? Um, because even writing that sort of stuff down for yourself is great, but should you run into a situation like this where you're like, hey, I need you to be me, and then you're like, wait, I don't— I've never given anyone instructions on how to do my part.

Yeah, because my girls, they don't know exactly what I'm doing. They're doing their thing. They're set into decorating the tables, they're setting that up, or they're, you know, setting the ceremony site, you know, all the decor up. They don't know what I'm doing, right? I'm not just sitting over here having an iced tea and yakking with someone.

We could never. No, we could never. And that's why we never stop moving and our insides look like raisins.

Yeah, but we get our steps in now, don't we?

Yes, ma'am, we do. I think— man, I've always wanted to get a step counter for weddings specifically today. Let's go, let's see, let's figure it out. So I don't feel like the phone's accurate.

I don't think it is either. I've had a lot of people say that. How many steps did you get in? Oh, I got 14,000. And oh, that's not right.

There's no way. We're off by about 10,000 steps. There's no way. Especially those sprawling venues where the reception's over here and the ceremony's over here, but getting ready space is like a mile down that way. And you're like, they have like golf carts to transport people. And you're like, can I just have my own? Because like, I can't, I can't be waiting for you.

Yeah, right.

Those days are nuts. Okay, final question for you. What is your go-to shoe for an event?

Ariats.

Nice. Like full-on boots?

Um, no, I have Ariat, uh, what are they called? They're, um, what are they called? It's a little, it's a leather shoe, but that's got that great Ariat support that Ariat boots are known for. It's not a super heavy shoe, but it's got that support, and I love them. And I've got about— I think I've got 4 different pairs, but I have specific ones that are for weddings. Yes, because they're nicer looking. Most of my weddings, I'm in jeans, we're in jeans, and we're in black button-up shirts. Um, but those shoes are amazing.

You talk about the rubber, rubber sole ones, right?

They are rubber soled. They've got the area technology inside. Um, they lace up, they're not tall, they're like a shape like a— what do you call them— a boat shoe along those lines. Yeah, but they're leather. And I have one pair that has, um, it has cheetah print on it. I wore it to one wedding and I had to point it out to the bride because I wore it for her because— and she was so excited that I, I wore those shoes. And Yeah, she told me.

Who doesn't have a pair of cheetah shoes in their closet? I do.

Yeah. Yay! I do.

100% do. Do I wear them that often? No. But do they spice up the outfit when you do?

Yo, yes. I have two. I have that pair, and then I have a pair of their Ariat, their little flats, their little canvas type shoes.

So are you just like an Ariat influencer?

Um, no, you should be. I have, I have a lot of boots. Not just, not just Ariats.

Oh, see, I feel like I'm building up my boot collection since we moved here.

Do it.

You know, I had just like a classic mucking out sort of riding boots that are leather but not great, you know, like, uh, the, um, I have those, uh, Cabela's special. Okay, you're like, I don't even know what the brand— oh, I think they're Redheads actually. Okay, but they're so old. Yeah. And then we add some Justins to the mix, and then I thrifted a couple pairs, and I'm like, this is, you know, building out our repertoire.

That's all we have for this week's episode, guys. If you enjoyed it, do me a favor, screenshot that episode and share it on socials. Tag me in it. I would love to see Wolfer and Co on Instagram. Let me know if you're enjoying it.

You can also let me know if you didn't enjoy it, but I'm probably not going to reshare that one. I hope you guys enjoy this week's episode, and we'll see in the next one.