VIRAL Bride CANCELS Wedding Venue | Wedding Planner REACTS

Well, hello, lovely humans, and welcome to Engage, a wedding planning podcast for the modern-day couple. I'm your host, Jamie Wolfer, and I truly believe that wedding planning does not need to be complicated or time-consuming. I kind of picture these episodes like jumping on a quick phone call with your wedding planner. You get your answers and you go on your merry way, because sometimes not all of us have an hour to dedicate to listening to super long podcasts or super long intros. So without further ado, let's just jump right on into it. Today's episode is actually an audio recording of one of my most popular YouTube videos. I don't know about you, but sometimes I just need to sit down and and be able to process through the audio without the distraction of a video. So we decided to take this sweet little nugget and turn it into a podcast for you. I hope you find this helpful, my friends. I just need you to know I was not emotionally prepared for the journey that this TikTok series would take me on. Okay? Okay. Because like in the beginning you were rooting for one person and in the end you're not rooting for them at all. And I just, it was, it's a journey and we're going on it together.

I have not spoken to my maid of honor since my wedding day of August 2025. And let me explain, 'cause this is a crazy story, okay? It doesn't even make sense to me. So to start off, I had two maid of honors. I'm gonna say a true maid of honor, which was my ride or die, my childhood friend, my, my rock. Like, she was just my true maid of honor. And let's say my fake maid of honor, which is a friend who lives in the same state as me. We hang out, we have a good time, we have so much fun, and she kind of knows the more evolved Javonni that I am today. I wanted two maid of honors because I thought the two of them could work together. My husband had two best men, so I thought, all right, perfect, cool, all right. "Alright, so let's talk about the bachelorette because I think that's when we started to really see some character flaws in people. My fake maid of honor and I are part of a friend group that really she's kind of the head person in." Okay, pause that real quick.

Already we can tell she's using language that she just does not like this person anymore. I'm pretty sure a grade school student could suss that out at this point. I do think we're adding a little bit of difficulty in when we're splitting maid of honor duties between two separate persons, but like she said, she thought she was just doing this based on vibes and everything would work out in the end. Okay, back to the friend group moment.

We have some mutual friends that I've met through my fake maid of honor, and we always would go to each other events. If they have a birthday party or an event, I'm coming, and if I'm hosting something, they come. We both like to go out, we like to be outside, and it's mutually a good time. There was an issue because I decided that I wanted to have my bachelorette in the same state I live in, New Jersey, and I just wanted a nice Airbnb to have a pool party. I really wanted to have a bachelorette that was budget-friendly. Like, we're in a recession, okay? And I was not trying to be one of those brides.

Okay, quick, quick little side note though. If you want to get a house with a pool on Airbnb, it's hundreds of dollars a night. Hundreds of dollars. Lots of doll hairs. Okay, so yes, it is more budget-friendly. Love that for you. Highly recommend. But no, it's not the most budget-friendly. I just had to add that.

So I told both maid of honors, I want to do a pool party. Let's keep it real chill, people don't gotta really spend money in the pool party. And then the next day, Sunday, uh, we will go to the city and have a good time. So Saturday, pool party. Sunday, people spend their money and we have a good time. So my fake maid of honor tells the friend group the plans, and the issue is when they were trying to find an Airbnb, they can only host 8 people. I decided that we'll just have the 8 people be from the bridal party and then everyone else can meet with us on Sunday in New York because I really wanted a pool party. So my fake maid of honor tells a friend group that they basically can't come and that they would have to link up on Sunday.

I can't get over the pool party. I get it. She's so cute. But every time she says fake maid of honor, I know So my fake maid of honor, she just leans into it.

Okay. Anyways, they get really offended. And from what she told me, they were offended that it felt like I was picking sides between the two friends, which was not the case. My first point I want to say is make sure you have a maid of honor who has your best interests, because if my other maid of honor knew my true best interests, she would know that that's not the case. What she was advocating for, for that friend group, was for me to have the bachelorette at a hotel so we can just go to a hotel pool party. I did not want to do that. A shared space where we can't have alcohol in the pool, we can't dance, we can't have chill vibes, and there's like a chance for older men being there. Like, no, that's not what I wanted. And I told them like, no, I don't want to do that. I really want to do the Airbnb. Like, Guys, I'm already choosing an economical option. Let me have it. So they were in their feelings and they decided not to come at all. They didn't come to the events on Sunday, nothing like that. And when I asked her what's up, she was like, oh, you know how girls are. They feel like, you know, essentially that I switched up. And I think she didn't fight for me because she knew that wasn't the case.

Okay, okay, okay. This sounds like a whole group of people made a decision that really may have something to do with the fake maid of honor. But at the end of the day, they made the decision to not come because their feelings were hurt. I don't think any of this is the maid of honor's fault. Could she have phrased it differently? Could she have tried to sell them on the weekend experience? Yes. But you have a whole group of people who are saying, wait, you're treating all of your bridesmaids to something special and intimate that we're not allowed to go to? Fine. I don't want to come then. That's a very different spirit. And I don't know how we're pinning this on the fake maid of honor when it's not her fault. Uh, the bride could be right. There could be more advocacy that's happening behind the scenes. I feel like that's a really strong word to use in this kind of scenario, but maybe the fake maid of honor didn't stand up and say, hey guys, like, we really just want to honor what she's doing, right? Maybe she wasn't in Camp Bride, maybe she was in more Camp Friend Group. But it is a weird position to be in, especially when the entire friend group is kind of enraged with your decision-making. Should they be? I personally don't think so. I think they personally should have chilled. That's just my two cents. But to blame all of their behavior and responses on one person that you asked to be the go-between, I don't necessarily agree with that. Sitting here listening to a podcast is all fine and dandy, right? But sometimes you need an actual person to be asking some of these questions to. And you may be sitting there going, you know what, Jamie, actually, yeah, that, that makes a lot of sense. I would love to be able to ask you these questions. Guess what? You need to join the Master Plan. You've heard me talk about it, but do you know why I love it so much? You get over 10 lessons that walk you through planning your wedding with videos and spreadsheets and other detailed resources along the way. Join me and my virtual clients over in the Master Plan and get all your wedding planning questions answered. Literally thousands of couples have gone on this journey with me, and I'd love for you to be next. Check it out at wolferandco.com TMP. That's wolferandco.com TMP. Listen, wedding budgets suck. They're just like the actual worst. And the hardest part for me is that weddings are not cookie cutter. They're not one size fits all. And I think it's important to make sure that you're budgeting according to your priorities. Build a budget that works with your vision, and you'll be on the path to planning a wedding that you really want. So if you want my recommendations for making your perfect budget for you and your partner, head on over to weddingpriorities.com.

All right, so we get to the bachelorette night, okay? Saturday night we get there, and, um, my fake maid of honor, she tells me that she's in charge of food, which is cool, fine. She's the one who's always cooking food at events. She's a really great cook. Well, she tells me she's not feeling well and that she would just like to do catering. So she gives me some menu items and tells me, you know, pick some items because I had vegan, vegetarian, people who didn't eat pork. Cool, I understand you, sis. Like, give me the menu, I'll pick some items. So I picked some items for her. Come to find out she had decided to do catering from ShopRite, which, uh, if you're not from Jersey, it's like maybe a Wegmans or let's say like Walmart catering. Now if I'm the maid of honor, I'm not gonna choose grocery store catering to an event, but that's just me. I'm like, maybe it's just a budgeting issue. That's fine. I hype her up. Oh girl, this food was good. My friends told me the food wasn't good, but that's my friend. I'm gonna support her, so I'm just eating. Oh yeah, girl, this food good. So the food wasn't good.

Okay, we can't want and claim I'm creating economical experience for you and then be mad when the maid of honor— sorry, the fake maid of honor— goes for an economical option for food. There's just a spirit here that I'm not aligning with. I think is a great way of putting that. I just— there's a spirit where it's like, I'm trying to say that I'm creating a cheap experience so you guys don't have to pay as much, but also I get angry when I'm receiving a cheap experience. And when we say catering, like she's offering to cater the event, yeah, I mean, through Walmart doesn't necessarily sound like the bougiest thing, but it's all in the delivery. You could do so much of your wedding through Costco. You could do so much of your wedding through Trader Joe's. I dream of doing a Costco-only styled shoot. I think that would be so much fun. Or doing an entire charcuterie tray, like with just Trader Joe's items. Also, why is there not a Trader Joe's in the Waco area? This angers me so much. This— I'm not going to say keeps me up at night, but I think about it frequently. But if we are asking for an economical experience, if we are bragging an economical experience and then faking enjoying the economical experience— you don't have to pretend to like bad food, that's not what I'm saying— but you have touted this, it's going to be super affordable for everybody, and then when the maid of honor is trying to make it affordable by catering the weekend for you and 7 of your friends or 6 other of your friends, 7 including her. That's, that's a big deal. That's a very big deal. So again, not enjoying the spirit. Feels like we're speaking out of both sides of our mouth here.

Anyways, the other thing, she left twice during The Bachelorette. Maid of honor left twice. So on Saturday night, she told me that there was some kind of funeral event. Someone close to her had died and she had to go. So around 8:00, she left to go to some funeral dinner event and she came back Sunday morning for breakfast. All right, cool, she missed most of the turn up, whatever.

What? I'm sorry for yelling. What? What? She had to go to a funeral, like something dinner or whatever, and she missed the party, whatever. I don't like this spirit at all. You just said funeral, as in someone close enough to her passed away that she's attending some sort of get-together in their honor and in their memory. And this is the part that you're including as a downside for her. I feel like maybe I understand the Walmart catering now. Like maybe there were some things going on in this person's life and, and, and she just needed to outsource some stuff. Maybe today, maybe this weekend is not the weekend where she cooks everything from scratch. Right? Maybe today is the day that she buys things, you know, the pre-cut fruit. That's today. That's the day that we're doing. If we want a chill day by the pool, give me a fruit tray, okay? And something to sip on and I'm a happy girl. I don't need 5-star catering to enjoy myself by the pool. But the fact that we're using like a funeral type experience as a negative mark towards her is asinine.

So she comes back Sunday, we go to the city, she's acting really weird. Like we did this whole tea party bus tour. It was her idea. To do the tea party bus tour, the teaing around town in New York City. This was her idea, she brought it up. Then on the bus, she's sitting here very stiff, very quiet. She's like, oh, Giovanni, I'm sorry from, you know, how I'm acting. It's just this is not my type of event. Sis, if you don't want to be here, just go. Like, your energy— like, she did not want to be present, and because of that, it— that energy was rubbing off on me.

Okay, could it possibly have been the funeral she went to less than 12 hours previously? Like, what, what, what? Hey, I know someone Someone just died, but can you put a little pep in your step? Okay, can you just like turn up your energy a little bit more? You already missed the party last night because of dead so-and-so. Okay, so now I need you to like put on your party face. I need you to do that. Should the maid of honor have had better boundaries and said, you know, I, I, I, I'm emotionally done, like I will still stick to whatever I committed to, but I, I probably can't be present? Yeah, that probably would have been a good idea. This is like a very good lesson in boundaries. Boundaries are beautiful, people. Did she, however, the fake maid of honor, have to say, I'm sorry, this isn't really my thing? No, that was not— that was not an okay excuse to use. This is giving everyone sucks here vibes, okay? Because that fake maid of honor said, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm, I'm just really— I'm still having a rough time from last night. I'm trying to rally, I am. Um, I'm sorry I'm being a damper. If you need me to go, I'll go. The fake maid of honor should have had the emotional wherewithal to say, I am not in a place to be in full celebration mode. She should not have said, "This isn't my thing. I know I booked it for you, but this is kind of stupid." That's what that is giving. So now we're seeing a little bit of the maid of honor's personality, and now we might be seeing why it's a 3-part series, right? Right.

I really didn't appreciate it. I kept that in mind, and I think that really started this track of our friendship heading down some really bad territory. So we get back to the city Sunday night, and she's like, "Oh, I have a doctor's appointment. I have to leave." So she leaves early. Now she leaves twice during The Bachelorette. She's late with the food on Saturday night, which pushed back the pool party, and she didn't help with decorating. So she didn't help with decorating— decorations. She came, she bought the grocery store food, left Saturday. I'm not tripping, right? Left Saturday, comes back Sunday, goes to the city, and like, oh, I gotta dip out. She didn't help with no, uh, decorations for cleaning up. Um, after The Bachelorette. So at this point I'm feeling really like just wary. That was just really weird behavior.

Okay, so we have to give the bride the benefit of the doubt here because it does sound like she's upset that she doesn't have free labor. She's upset that she doesn't have someone to come in and do this cleanup. Bear in mind, earlier on the story, this bride is talking about how this gal plans everything for these groups and how they plan things and mutually like toss events back and forth and everyone kind of hangs out together and they take turns hosting things. So she knows this fake maid of honor's typical M.O. when it comes to hosting. So I think that although she's not communicating it here, there is some sort of sense of like, she's not behaving normally, like, this is weird. And there could be some sort of sense around this overall funeral experience that we cannot get without seeing both sides of the story or hearing a little bit more context that could be, yeah, I mean, she said she went to some sort of funeral thing, but it felt like a lie. Like it felt like she was lying through her teeth. It felt weird. It felt duplicitous. It felt like she was just trying to go, felt like she was trying to leave. There could be a spirit of that happening here. This is why we kind of have to take, you know, these situations with a grain of salt because we never know truly what's going on. So for this bride who gets absolutely eviscerated in the comments, by the way, like literally everyone in this first video is completely blaming this bride, being like, you wanted a wedding planner, you wanted your friends to work for you. Not just show up for you, things like that. And everyone being like, you're the problem. I'm listening to this and being like, oh, everybody sucks here. Just wanted to provide some nuance, perchance, perhaps, to the conversation.

So as I'm picking out bridesmaid dresses and maid of honor dresses, I decided to pick a website called JJ's House. Why? Because it's super budget friendly. I was not going to choose a $200 dress for these girls. So I chose like a dress that was like $95. Everyone agrees, oh, this is great pricing. Cool. So JJ's House has a thing where you can try on different dresses and to make sure you have your right size.

Brilliant. Love, love, love when like attire companies do this, wedding attire companies do this. I know Generation Tux offers a free home try-on for the wedding couple. I also know that you can get virtually sized with them. Adding in this home try-on experience is that attention to detail is really, really helpful because then someone can try it on and be like, oh, I feel good. Oh, this is really nice. Oh, this doesn't quite work here. As opposed to just ordering it blindly and hoping for the best and then spending a lot of money in alterations. This is a really, really smart move on behalf of these attire companies. So if you are out there looking for suits and/or dresses, look to see if they offer home try-ons.

She tells me that she doesn't know how to work the website, and if I can order the dress from her for her to try on, she'll come to my house, try on the dress, and then I would have to return the dress.

How old is this fake maid of honor? 72? Because I'm bewildered as to how she can't navigate ordering something online for herself. It's 2026, babes. How do you not know how to order something or get a measuring tape to see your— how do we need support and assistance in this? Benefit of the doubt, grain of salt. Maybe this fake maid of honor was doing this because she wanted to spend more time with the bride and she thought this would be a great way of doing that. It's like, oh, we'll bond together. I'll try it on at your house and it will be like a dress shopping experience. Maybe still doesn't reconcile for me personally in my mind, but what do I know?

It sounds like she's giving me work to do, but okay. I do it the first time, I get the dress, we try it on. Uh, let's try on some other things. So now she wants to try on some different dresses. She asked me if I can do it again a second time. All right, fine. I already know the process. Get the dress, she comes try it on, I pack his dress, take it back to Staples. Now I've done this a second time. Now I'm kind of tired, I'm trying to focus on other things, and this is just becoming a bit of an annoyance because no one else has asked me for help with their dresses. Everyone else is able to order their dress, try it on, they send me pictures, and then they get the dress that they need. So I'm not understanding why she's the only one who's having problems working the website. We get the dress that she likes and she's like, okay, can you just order the dress for me? I'm like, no, no. And I think she was surprised that I told her no, but I was like, I have other things that I need to focus on.

Okay, I'm glad this bride finally said no because again, what I was seeing earlier is we've got some boundary issues on both sides. Right? Like just not super clear, direct communication. Feels kind of vague. It feels a little— I don't want to say passive-aggressive, but there's a tenor here that is not resonating, right? Where we're just like, why are we doing this? Why am I checking this out for you? This kind of slow motion of like this bride going, this feels different than who I've known you to be. This feels different. And yeah, she kind of sounded like a little honey hole describing the Bachelorette experience. The Bride could have had a little bit more grace in her delivery of that information, right? Maybe rephrase the whole like funeral or whatever situation. Maybe we could have done that. But there's this overall sense of like, what is happening? Here's my two cents. I think The Bride had a real experience. She's just not a good storyteller. I think she's not giving enough of the emotion of what is happening with this person and how different their behavior is than it was before. We haven't established how this person behaved before, so The Bride is coming across as like having really, really high expectations and high standards for someone who can't keep up with them. And the fact that we toss in a funeral type situation into the conversation is automatically going to cast the bride as the bad guy here. Okay. Anyways, part 2. Now she does go into a little bit of a storytime, how she asked fake maid of honor to text everyone in a group text message that she was not a part of. Fake maid of honor did not do it. She then asks real maid of honor who traveled in from Texas, from out of state, a whole week ahead of time to just be here and support the entire time, she asked her to text the group instead and she does it instantaneously. So there is definitely this spirit of like, what? Why? It's a simple text message. Why can't you send this? And then going to the other friend, the other friend immediately is like, oh, bet I'm on it. She also qualifies it a little bit like the real maid of honor is a Type A personality. So if you ask her to do something, she's going to do it immediately. She's really organized. She's on top of things and doesn't quite say that the fake maid of honor is a Type B personality, but we can kind of get that through context clues of how she's telling the story. So she's trying to give grace and say, you know, I get it, this person is spearheading all of this. I completely understand that maybe this person is not going to pick up the slack or doesn't feel the need to step up and handle this as much, right? So we're understanding a little bit more of the character of the people that are in the stories, but I figured I'd summarize that section, otherwise this video would be unbelievably long.

My fake maid of honor, she's like, hey, Giovanni, I want to help you with some kind of event. I want to be a part of something where you can say, hey, I helped you with this.

My guess is fake maid of honor is starting to feel a little bit guilty because she hasn't been stepping up in ways that she feels like she should have. That's why she's going out of her way to say like, hey, I need to— I need and want to put my stamp on something for your event because I'm starting to feel a little bit guilty. That's what I'm seeing. That's what I'm hearing.

So I was like, well, you know, I'm doing a photo shoot at this location. And she's like, okay, how much does it cost? I'm like, it's $500 for the permit. To take the photo. She's like, okay, I got you.

That's a huge gift. I would not pay $500. Sorry, I love all my friends. I don't think I'd pay $500 for them to take photos somewhere. Like, that's just not— that doesn't make sense. Who does that? That's just not normal etiquette in this kind of scenario. So that leads me to believe that fake maid of honor is actually feeling quite guilty if she's ready to drop half a grand on a photo experience that she's not going to be part of, right?

She just offers to pay for the permit She never sends the $500, never sends it. She's like, oh, leading up to the wedding, oh, Giovanni, you know, I'm going to send it. What's your Zelle? What's your Zelle? Girl, we've gone to restaurants. We've sent each other money back and forth plenty of times.

Okay, 100%. This is a deflection technique on behalf of the fake maid of honor to be like, well, I tried. I was going to. You just didn't get back to me. So it's not my fault. That whole spirit— I hate this behavior. What is that called? There's got to be a psychological term for this. There's got to be something. We're like, no, no, I'll help. Well, you didn't tell me how to help you. What? What? You have— you have all— you have all the information at your fingertips. What?

She tried to set me up because she said she was gonna pay for the photo shoot for the wedding, and she never sent the money. Luckily, I already took care of it. I didn't— never depended on her. But it was noted in my mind. My real maid of honor and my fake maid of honor were gonna get together and do like some actual like dances for their entry for, um, you know, when you're doing the reception. So my real maid of honor is texting my fake maid of honor, hey, we need to meet up so we can like actually coordinate a dance. My fake maid of honor is like, oh, let's meet up on Friday. Mind you, my wedding is, uh, the weekend of Babe, was it Labor Day? It was Labor Day weekend. She's like, okay, we can meet on Friday so we can do the dance coordination. Cool. So now we're at Friday, right? So my real maid of honor is like, hey girl, what time do you want to meet up? Then my fake maid of honor is like, oh, I'm so sorry, I actually can't meet up because I have an orientation for New York Film Academy. She's like, yeah, the orientation is at 6 o'clock in New York, and I'm sorry, I can't make it.

How do you not know about this sooner? How did you not know that Monday that you had something? I know accidents happen, but also who's doing orientation on Labor Day weekend, on a holiday weekend where the likelihood of all the attendees coming like drastically drops off because they could be on holiday, because they could be on vacation. This is something that people typically have planned out for weeks or months in advance, which is why when you have any sort of wedding activity on a holiday weekend or around a holiday weekend, you know, almost like the weekend of September 10th, the Saturday, of the Friday, September 10th, almost like that.

I'm like, girl, this don't sound right. Like, it's Memorial Weekend— or sorry, it's Labor Day weekend in New York. What school you know has an orientation on Friday at 6 PM on a holiday weekend? So I ended up looking it up because a lot of programs in America will have their events publicized. Like, if you're in a program is public knowledge. So I end up going to the website, looking it up, and I saw that there was no orientation on that Friday. She's lying. She's just not wanting to be part of the wedding, and the energy is just— felt— it's just really weird. So at this point, I'm not, I'm not feeling her right now. I'm really not.

So this goes back to the— this bride is not a great storyteller. There's clearly some more emotions happening here. She knows this person. She's been friends with this person for a really long time. So if this person is all of a sudden becoming extremely flaky, something is off. If this person usually brings this kind of energy and is now bringing this kind of energy, something is off. So yeah, I think the bride could rework some of her telling here, but this is an experience that happens to so many couples as they're wedding planning because friends and family start to act different. There's a whole video I did on the dark side of wedding planning that really deep dives into this because you end up feeling so isolated and alone and also not recognizing the people around you. I do feel like this bride has some energy of, I wish you would show up with excitement for me. It's giving, um, let's tease the launch of my engagement. That Reddit post will forever change my career here on this channel. I, I, I promise you that. But she knows that the energy of her friend is off.

My true maid of honor, a friend of mine, and my mom end up going to the church to prep the space. I asked my fake maid of honor, hey, can you come help us? Oh, I'm picking up shifts, I actually can't be here. Just weird, weird, weird behavior. She didn't come to help with the prep, but my other friends came. So I told my true maid of honor, I was like, girl, I'm so sorry, like, you should have just been my maid of honor. I'm so sorry. Make sure you're choosing a maid of honor who has your best interest. And I'm gonna add this: do not choose a maid of honor who you haven't gone to a girls trip with. Or haven't had a disagreement with or something like that. You like have to go through conflict and be vulnerable because when you are a bride, it's a very vulnerable period for you. There's a lot of unknowns, there's a lot of money going into it, and you need people who will understand that. All right.

I disagree with that slightly. I don't think you need to have someone you've had a fight with. Like, that's, that's not required. That's not on the list of maid of honor requirements. Hey, have we fought before?

Cool.

You can be my maid of honor because I can say with my whole chest, I've never had a disagreement with my best friend. Ever. We gel so incredibly well and she would 100% be the person that I could trust to take on an activity like this. 100%. She would come to me with her questions and she would cover everything else that I don't need to worry about. Like she would be wonderful at this. It would be a very intentionally crafted and beautifully put together. So no, you don't have to fight with someone to like make it into the inner sanctum. I think you need to have deep conversations, but I don't think duking it out is required emotionally or physically.

People who will know it's your time and not try to diminish it or feel some type of way from it. People who can be able to deal with personal issues that life's going to bring them, but also be happy and supportive of you at the same time.

Yeah, but the issues that this person was having was a funeral. So again, we kind of need to moderate how we're just expressing this and our language around this in general, because it was— it a funeral or whatever, okay?

And this is part 3 because let's just talk about the wedding, all right? So the night before my wedding, I had an appendicitis. Yes. So the day before my wedding, I was in severe, unbelievable pain. Went to the urgent care. Urgent care told me go to the hospital. Went to the hospital. They were like, you have an appendicitis. What?

This was a plot twist I did not see coming. I'm not laughing at her.

This is—

this story is just insane.

Now I was like, but I also have a wedding. So it wasn't ruptured, so they told me they think that they can, um, be able to take my appendix out and I can go to my wedding the next day. I told them that's exactly what's gonna happen, money has been spent. Okay, so I had my procedure, it was like late at night, and I was discharged 5 AM from the hospital. I told my nurse, rain or shine, I have makeup at 7. Okay, so I was discharged. I'm running on adrenaline, Tylenol, and, uh, love. Okay.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this woman is determined to make it to her own wedding day. That's insane. This would be really good— shout out for Brightco— because imagine if she had to have surgery and couldn't make it the next day. Cancellation insurance would cover this. Okay, just saying. What? So she's already emotionally and physically done. And I do wonder, I think the body keeps score, okay? It might be woo-woo of me to say this, but I do think the body keeps score. So I think her body was like, hey, we're kind of done. Guess what? Your appendix is also done too. But for her to wake up the morning of her wedding at 5:00 AM after having surgery late at night, it's less than 24 hours after her stomach surgery, her abdominal stomach surgery. That she is having her wedding. She's walking down the aisle. This just got so intense. So I can understand that whatever else she's about to say, she's so emotionally and physically tapped out that she probably cannot process any of this well. We've got this stuff boiling and boiling and boiling with this maid of honor, this fake maid of honor who's been acting weird and acting out of character. And although the bride probably isn't conveying this properly, something strange is happening here. And so we're just hoping, hoping that nothing's going to happen today. But seeing as we have a majority of the video left, Um, something's going down.

So I'm at the church, I'm getting, um, my hair done. Initially, I told both my maid of honors to come early as part of their duty to help prepare breakfast for everyone. My fake maid of honor shows up about 40 minutes late past the time that she's supposed to do her makeup, okay? So she was supposed to be coming earlier than that to prep and then start her makeup at this time. She's, she's running late, okay? We're in the kitchen, she comes in with her boyfriend, she's like, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm running late. I had this— you would not believe. I'm so sorry, I'll explain it to you later. And I'm just like, girl, I'm just coming from the hospital and I made it on time. Why are you running late? And I think she was taken aback that I talked to her or approached her in front of everybody. But you were coming late into the kitchen and we were already talking about you, so let's just air it out right here.

Okay, that's a little bit of a false dichotomy here because it's not fair for you to say like, I had surgery and I showed up on time. Yeah, it's your wedding day. It's your wedding day. But also, why did she bring her boyfriend? Like, this is very clearly all the girls are getting ready together. What is the boyfriend doing here? Why are we doing this? And I do think, again, the bride could have phrased this a little bit differently and said, I asked them to show up early to help prepare. My guess is the maid of honor, the fake maid of honor, confirmed that she would be there early. She was also given her start time for getting hair and/or makeup done, so she was fully late to something she probably was fully committed to. So again, the language here, like, this idea of like Yeah, I told her to show up early and she didn't. My guess is they asked. It was more conversational. It was less bossy. So we're giving everyone a little bit of the benefit of the doubt here. But why would she show up 40 minutes after her appointment time with her boyfriend in tow? This is really where the weird behavior starts to make so much more sense.

And so I think she was offended, embarrassed, whatever the case may be. So we go back to the room, come finishing my hair. And she started her makeup. She's African, so while she's getting her makeup done, she's on the phone talking to who I'm assuming is her boyfriend. She's talking to her boyfriend and, oh, this is the last time I'm ever gonna talk to her. I can't believe— just going off. The thing is, she's speaking in her language, but she's also saying words in English that I can interpret, so I know she's talking about me. Oh my gosh. Okay, so I'm getting my hair done, makeup done, child. I'm like, okay, so this is gonna be the last day. All right, cool. So everyone gets their hair, makeup done, then we try to move forward. She decides that she wants to hold my dress for the whole day. She wants to be present, she wants to be noticed, blah blah blah.

The fact that we don't call out or say anything during this time where this fake maid of honor is very clearly bashing the bride and no one's saying anything. And the bride is literally running on exhaust fumes at this point. There's— you already have adrenaline on your wedding day, add surgery in 12 hours prior. Like, it's— it's— this is insane. The fact that she has kept her cool and she only had one bark back in the kitchen. I, I'm, I'm team bride on this one.

I—

my vision of this entire thing has completely shifted at this point.

So my fake maid of honor and I are leaving from the church into the bus, and there's gravel. Uh, she accidentally drops my dress on the gravel. Something happened, and maybe it was a true accident. She actually dropped my dress. But the way I turned back at her— and I was very upset because at this point I don't trust her. I don't trust her motives. The fact that she said this is the last day she's gonna be dealing with me, I don't trust her. So yeah, I was treating her with some attitude because the disrespect she gave me earlier.

I think this is a perfectly acceptable reaction. It's a very small thing that happens. Someone could accidentally drop the train. That could be very true. But also what the bride is saying here is you've broken, you've broken all this. Like you were just trash talking me. In fact, it would have been a better idea for the bride to say, I think it's okay. You don't need to hold it. I'll be fine. Just because I don't, I don't want your energy near me and I'm kind of frustrated with you and I'd like to enjoy today. She doesn't have to verbalize all that, but she could definitely be like, No, that's okay. Other maid of honor can do it. Thank you so much. I think that would have been a better move on behalf of the bride, which is one thing that I always work through with my clients. Like, I want to be an emotional buffer for them, or if I'm not working with them directly, do you have someone that can come rescue you out of a situation, that can be your ride or die day of, that can really kind of run interference for you should a situation like this occur? So if everyone's hearing this, why are we letting this maid of honor touch the bride's dress? Not that it's like like, you know, blasphemous for her to even get within touching distance of her gown, okay? That's not what I'm saying. But we should have been running interference on this. We should have brought that maid of honor a little bit further away and put someone else in this place.

We get on the bus and, you know, we're going to our different locations to do our photo shoot. She tells me, Javonni, I feel like you're treating me differently than everyone else and I really don't appreciate it, blah blah blah. And I probably was. I probably was, because at this point, with everything leading up, you deserve it at this point, okay? I don't care what you say, you came late. You're the maid of honor position that you, you know, always wanted and be there for me, blah blah, and you're not being present. So yeah, you're gonna take all the smoke that's being thrown at you.

No notes, no notes.

So she calls me, uh, Bridezilla on the bus. I'm not sure why. If I think it came out of nowhere, but my, uh, male, uh, friend who's part of my bridal party, he's like like, actually, no, she's not. Like, she's doing really well. And my other bridesmaid is like, yeah, considering that she just had surgery.

Like, oh my gosh, she's gorgeous, she's gorgeous. What? So now she's just deflecting. She's trying to make it the bride's fault that her behavior has been a little strange this whole time, like she did with the Zell situation. Well, I don't know, you're not telling me how to Zell. It's feigned ignorance with that. I think that's the term I was looking for with that. And then with this, it's just like, all the other bridesmaids, all the other people in her wedding party have her back. Where is this coming from? She's just picking up on the harsh vibes and now she's just spewing because it sounds like she's behaving like a petulant toddler.

How are you, a maid of honor, telling me that I'm a bridezilla? And if I am, it's my wedding day and I just had an appendicitis. Back up. So at this point she's just being weird and I think everything she's been feeling at this point has just been coming out. At this point it's just just all bad energy. I did not want to really interact with that group because it just wasn't feeling right. I chose to hang out with my friends, family. I mostly sat because, again, I'm running on Tylenol and vibes and love. Okay, so that was the situation. She ended up leaving without ever telling me bye, and that was it. I called her to think, okay, maybe we can try to mend this, because the day of my wedding, I, I actually told her, I was like, I know you're upset and mad at me, but it's okay. Like, that's fine. We you could be mad at me, but if we're gonna be friends, like, we have to work through this, whatever. She chose not to work through it. She never called me back weeks after the wedding. I guess she never took the advice I said about being mad and that being okay. Um, and I saw that she unfollowed me on Instagram. I'm like, girl, we are not celebrities. Like, if you're gonna close the bridge, let me burn it for you. So I blocked her. I blocked her, um, sister, the friends who never showed up to Bachelorette. Like, we are good on that. And I just realized that this time the, the friendship wasn't worth mending. Crazy thing is, I got my wedding photos back, right? And in this photo, the photographer told everyone to look at us. The baby's looking at us. Everybody's, everybody's looking at us. The fake maid of honor is the only one who looked at the camera. This photo was taken 3 times. So at this point I was like, oh no. So I had her removed. She's out of all the wedding photos, like out of sight, out of mind. We're really good.

Um, I did not see that coming. I love it. I did not watch these all the way through. She literally has her photoshopped out. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I can't say I would have done the same thing, but also I don't disagree, but also this is hilarious, but also I don't know.

The bridge has been burnt so bad that I don't think the friendship's worth mending. Plus she was in a relationship that wasn't honoring marriage, and as I'm now in a marriage, I didn't want to be friends with someone who's disrespecting someone else's marriage. So I was just like, I think I'm okay. So Bryce, if you're choosing someone, please choose someone with your best interest. I'm gonna keep saying it. Choose someone you've been on girls trips with. Choose someone you've gone through conflict with and can be there for you, okay? And if there's a switch up, it's part of the process. You can't avoid it. I thought I was good and look what happened. But you're gonna have a beautiful wedding. I did. I look fabulous. I look great, and I know you will too. I hope this helps. All right, that's it.

What? In the roller coaster just happened. She called her friend, one of her dearest friends, a bridezilla on her wedding day. Oh my gosh, there's so much internal turmoil happening with this fake maid of honor. It sounds— if I'm reading through the lines correctly, it sounds like she's in an extramarital affair with someone who's probably married. So it sounds like there's just, there's just stuff going on. There's like a downward spiral of this friend happening, and unfortunately the bride led with the wrong information. Mentioning a funeral in sort of a callous and, you know, unfeeling sort of manner. But in the beginning, I was, I was team fake maid of honor hardcore. And now I'm like, oh, I get, I get it now. I get it now. Listen, listen, wedding planning brings out the weird people. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It does. If you need emotional support, if you need extra support, throughout your wedding planning process, if you have no idea what you're doing and the boundaries are really hard to set and you're not quite sure what to do with finances and so many people have opinions involved, join me in the Master Plan. I've literally helped tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of couples go through this entire wedding planning journey as stress-free as possible. You deserve to have a stress-free wedding day. Okay, so had this gal been in the Master Plan and had she shared this with me, I would have said preemptively, it sounds like a difficult conversation needs to be had instead of this like wishy-washy, indirect communication, I would have encouraged this bride to say, hey, things feel strange, things feel weird, I'm not quite sure what's going on. Are you okay? What's happening? I want to check in with you. And if the bridesmaid had been— or sorry, the fake maid of honor had been deflective, um, and not really responsive to that, I would have encouraged my bride to keep an eye on it. And if it continues to be and feel weird, I would have suggested rescinding that position as maid of honor, possibly demoting to bridesmaid. Hey, it seems like you got a lot going on in your life. It seems like the hopes and expectations I have for filling this role are beyond what you can do right now. So maybe I'm not removing the title from you, but I'm just going to remove obligation and expectation from you. If you can still show up the way I know you show up for your friends, if you can still do that here, I would love to have you. Wait, wait, this now makes more— so much more sense. When the boyfriend came to the getting ready part of things, probably the married dude showing up to the— where the girls are getting ready. So the bride already has feelings towards him of like, ew, you give me the because this is not an appropriate relationship, and then he shows up where the girls are getting— wait a minute, and this is after her appendicitis? Mm, okay, I'm team bride. I'm team bride. Okay, I think it's still a little bit of everyone sucks here vibes, just a little bit, just a little bit. The bride could handle a couple things differently, but honestly, at the end of the day, I'm team bride on this one. How about you? Let me know in the comments. So that's what we have for today's video, guys. Thank you so much for watching. If you like the video, please like the video. And subscribe to his channel for more tips and tricks for the modern-day bride. And come join me in the Master Plan if you're struggling. Okay, I want to help you personally. I want to help you get through this. Okay, I'll leave it linked down in the description below. And until next week, bye guys! If you are struggling with wedding planning and you have questions and you just need someone to listen and to chat with, come join us in the Master Plan community over at themasterplanwed.com. I would love to have you in there. Thanks so much for listening. If you haven't done so already, Subscribe, jump on over to wherever you're listening to this podcast and leave a 5-star review so we can let the podcast people know that Jamie knows what she's talking about sometimes. And until next time, bye guys!