Who is the CRAZY ONE Here? | Wedding Planner REACTS

Well, hello, lovely humans, and welcome to Engage, a wedding planning podcast for the modern-day couple. I'm your host, Jamie Wolfer, and I truly believe that wedding planning does not need to be complicated or time-consuming. I kind of picture these episodes like jumping on a quick phone call with your wedding planner. You get your answers and you go on your merry way, because sometimes not all of us have an hour to dedicate to listening to super long podcasts or super long intros. So without further ado, let's just jump right on into it. Today's episode is actually an audio recording of one of my most popular YouTube videos. I don't know about you, but sometimes I just need to sit down and and be able to process through the audio without the distraction of a video. So we decided to take this sweet little nugget and turn it into a podcast for you. I hope you find this helpful, my friends.

My name is Alyssa. I'm a 2026 bride trying to get married in July, 5 months away, and I had to cancel my freaking wedding. So let's get into it.

Ooh, buckle up, kids. We're in for a sweet treat today.

I am just so excited to drag this fucking wedding venue. Okay, this is going to be a little bit longer video, so let's lock in. Okay, we found this venue, Villa Terrace, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and we saw it and we immediately fell in love with it. And we said, you know what, we're getting married one time, like, this is our day, like, we're going to put the money in for it, and that's that. We still said yes. We said yes because when we were looking at the proposal at the time, it said that that was including the food and beverage. Food and beverage was a $3,000 minimum. In our opinion, that was a—

hey, Hi, if you're new here, my name is Jamie Wolfer. I'm your online wedding planner, and in today's video we are going to be covering the viral video that went live during my maternity leave. So I might be a little bit behind the curve here, but like, we got to talk about this. We got to talk about this situation. Also, I feel like I kind of want to stalk the Villa Terrace. Can we, can we stalk it? Let's do that together real, real quick. Like, hold on. Already this bride is using language that leads me to believe that this venue, just for the venue rental alone, is pretty dang pricey because they decided to go for it because it's just one day. So I'm guessing it's pretty expensive. Okay, um, cool. First image that pops up is a naked man statue. That's a choice. That's a choice. Okay, I've never had to use a censor bar on one of my videos before. Here we are. Okay, wedding rental information. Please visit our friends at Noble Catering for any questions concerning weddings at Villa Terrace. Okay, so this is literally— it's a venue that's being rented out by a catering company, which means they have exclusive rights to working at this property, which means we're already looking at a tricky situation when it comes to catering. Oh, you're hiring? Great. Probably because of a massive turnover. I don't know what it is about catering companies and venue managers, but there's always like a— there's a churn and burn that happens. Okay, let's see. Okay, it's pretty. I found it. I found the pricing. Peak season, Friday, $16,000 for ceremony and reception. Only $11,000 if you're just doing the reception. So if you get married offsite Saturday, $18,000 for ceremony and reception. Maximum number, guess, $120K. Okay. Okay. I have all you need to know. Okay. And I have suspicions, but we'll, we'll confirm them as, as we go.

In our opinion, that was a steal considering that other venues were quoting us $30,000 for a minimum.

Okay. Just as a recap, Now that we looked it up, we're thinking that's about $18,000 for the venue and about $3,000 as a minimum for catering and alcohol. I'm assuming it's all encompassing just based off of my knowledge of being in the industry for a decade. Okay. And off the vibes of what we got going here. So we're thinking it's $21,000. Has she set a guest count yet?

So we agreed. I signed my pretty little name down on that dotted line and I said, you know what, this is going to be okay. And we are totally expecting this to go up just maybe a couple grand for the food and beverage because we don't know what options of food we're going to be choosing. So like, totally fine. We review the cancellation policy as well. And where I'm sitting right now, 5 months out, we are within like a 90 to 180 day window for canceling. So we could get 50% back. All right.

Read your contracts. The fact that she knows this, the fact that she can quote this, I literally had like— I've talked to other vendors before and the only couples that read our contracts is if one or two of them are lawyers. Okay. Most couples do not read their contracts. This is super important. You don't want to come across this information when you're already in a high-tension situation. You want to know how to cancel working with a vendor, okay? Even if you are hoping for the best vibes, okay, for the entire thing— or is it this finger?

I don't know.

I don't know. Even if you're hoping for the best in this scenario, you still need to know how to get out of this working relationship should you need to, come heck or high water. Uh, Brightco is also a really good option for this. This is not sponsored. I just am obsessed with them. Okay, because they have cancellation insurance that would help with covering some of these sorts of things. I don't know if it would cover this specifically. You'd have to contact them. But again, this is not a sponsored video. I just really like them. Okay. Moral of the story: read contracts. Sitting here listening to a podcast is all fine and dandy, right? But sometimes you need an actual person to be asking some of these questions to. And you may be sitting there going, you know what, Jamie, actually, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I would love to be able to ask you these questions. Guess what? You need to join the Master Plan. You've heard me talk about it, but do you know why I love it so much? You get over 10 lessons that walk you through planning your wedding with videos and spreadsheets and other detailed resources along the way. Join me and my virtual clients over in the Master Plan and get all your wedding planning questions answered. Literally thousands of couples have gone on this journey with me, and I'd love for you to be next. Check it out at wolferandco.com TMP. That's wolferandco.com TMP. Listen, wedding budgets suck. They're just like the actual worst. And the hardest part for me is that weddings are not cookie cutter. They're not one size fits all. And I think it's important to make sure that you're budgeting according to your priorities. Build a budget that works with your vision, and you'll be on the path to planning a wedding that you really want. So if you want my recommendations for making your perfect budget for you and your partner, head on over to weddingpriorities.com.

In our mind, I signed on that dotted line, and we're like, we're going to be paying half of that. This is where things started to get really— okay, we had our menu tasting a month ago, and everything went really well. We picked out all our stuff. Don't get me wrong, we did pick out some pricier options, so we were kind of expecting this to be elevated a little bit in the price range. We get this new proposal back a week later— $26,000 for 70 guests. What?

Just gonna do some quick math, okay, because my brain can't think that high. Divide by 70— $371 per guest. $371 per guest. What in the Michelin star restaurant is happening here? They don't boast any sort of fancy chef. This is not— this is Wisconsin, right? Sorry. What? Okay, let's recap again. $18,000 for the venue alone already gives me a red flag as a seasoned planner going, oop, that's gonna get pretty bad. You're told a minimum of $3,000, you get a quote back for almost 10 times as much. Almost 10 times, literally, um, $1,000 away from being 9 times as much as the minimum that you were quoted. This is something called the venue trap. This is something I, I loathe that couples find themselves in because they're not aware of this ahead of time and they don't ask this question ahead of time. If you are planning a wedding, I don't care what the bottom line— I mean, I do care, I do care what the venue is charging, that is important. I need you to check what their preferred vendors are or required vendors are, and I need you to get quotes from that vendor before you sign with that venue. Okay, we're putting the phone down. We're getting serious with this for just a minute. Lean in close. If you take nothing away from this video, take away this specific moment right here. Lock in. Okay, before you sign up with the venue, you need to know what you're going to be required to pay to other vendors that they require you to book. So if there's a required DJ, I've seen it. If there's a required photographer, florist, if there's a required caterer and bartender— those two are the most common. Okay, those two are the ones that you're like, you absolutely need to look into what those costs can be because that ratchets up and very, very quickly. If you are having stations, if you are having a plated dinner, if you're offering a very bougie kind of steak, those numbers can get out of control really quickly. So you need to get a good idea of what catering potentially could cost if it's required, or if you have to choose from a list of caterers, you need to know that cost before you sign with the venue. Because I don't care how cheap that venue seems to you, or if it feels like a splurge, if the venue is more than 20% of your budget, 20% of your overall budget, which by the way, if you need a wedding budget, I've got one right here in the master plan. Please come join me. Literally, I teach you everything you need from point A to wedding day in a nice, neat, orderly fashion, which is way more than I can say for this channel. Sometimes we'd be all over the place. Okay, okay. If it's more than 20%, that gives me a red flag, and that makes me wonder how much is everything else going to cost because of how expensive that location is. Okay, it's called the venue trap. I invented it, but it's a good name. Back to the video.

Brayden and I start to freak out, as one does. That's a lot of money. Brayden created a tracker and he was going through all the options, and then we got to the bare minimum, down to the bones of what we needed, to what we needed as like it was, it was necessary and it was mandatory, like that we had to have this stuff. It only brought it down $5,000. So we're like, you know what, there's a million other things in our personal lives that are going on right now that massively affecting this, massively. On top of that, we want to buy our first home as well, and this just is not allowing us to do that. So we're like, you know what, as much as we don't want to, we have to back out. We can't do this. And I am not ashamed to say that. I would much rather not be in debt over all of that. And mind you, when we put all this together with the taxes and the gratuity and all the other hidden fees that we didn't even know about, this came out to about $50,000 just for the venue and the food and beverage. That's not including all our other vendors, that's not including my dress. We said no, sorry. So we emailed the little event coordinator. We're like, hey, we cannot do this. I'm so sorry, but for personal reasons and financial reasons, we have to say no. I guess I forgot this part.

Let's roll. Okay. Okay.

I have—

I got it. So they brought it down $5,000, which brought it to $21,000, which again, let's just— okay. So $21,000 divided by 70 is $300 per guest, and this is the bare minimum that they're talking about. This is— oh, this grinds my gears when venues do this. Like, it just, it feels predatory. And I am so not— if you've been around here for a minute, you know that like I am in stout defense of so many small businesses in the wedding industry who are like being claimed as like we're, we're a scam, we're price gouging. No, it's a luxury industry for sure, but I work harder on a wedding than I do at a backyard party. Okay, so the amount of time I invest in a wedding versus the amount of time I invest in a kid's birthday party are two drastically different things, and my pricing reflects that accordingly. All right, all right. Speaking of which, I've opened up my books, so if you're looking for a planner, call me. Anyways, I do travel. But when they use terms like a $3,000 minimum, that leads a couple to believe that they will be spending— let's see, $3,000 divided by 70 that they'll be spending about $42.85 per person. That's if we're not rounding up. Let's call it $45 per person versus $300 per person. Why do we not say, okay, wait, what's your guest count? 70? Okay, so on average we see our plates going anywhere from $250 to $350 per person. Why do we not say that? Why do we not bring that up? Why are we not upfront with these numbers? That grinds my gears tremendously. And this is why I fight so hard, and that's why I bring this up on my channel all the time. And this is literally why you subscribe, okay? Because I really want to make sure that I'm helping couples avoid situations like this. When you sign with a venue that has a required caterer, you get yourself into something called the venue trap, and then you get to a place where you don't know what to do. I am extremely proud of this bride because what she said— her and her fiancé went, you know what, we would rather bow out and lose $10,000 than commit to staying at this venue. Like, she's asking what should she have done. Nothing. Subscribe to this channel, that's what she should have done. Because I hopefully— or join the Master Plan, cuz then I can talk to you guys in real time in our live monthly calls. Like, it's one of my favorite things to do because I love helping people avoid this situation. But once you get to that point, you got to duck out. You got to find a way to be like, well, it's either this becomes a $60,000, $75,000, $100,000 wedding, or we cut our losses, or we go elope, or we go to a smaller, more low-key venue or a restaurant for 70 people. Okay, I'm literally sweating. Let's get going with the video. I just want to note that I'm super proud that this couple decided to be like, mm, no. No, no, because the venue should have been more upfront about this. They should have been like, no, on average, here's how much we see cost per plate. That's what the venue should have done. Okay. Because even when they're doing the math and they get it down to the bare minimum, it looks like the bare minimum for them is $21,000. That's not the bare minimum. That's still a lot. Why are we saying our food and beverage minimum is $3,000? Is that for 20 people? Is that for 5 people? Like, is that for a different style of event? That feels immensely bait and switch, but we're only halfway through the video, so I'm just going to be over here sweating and let's just to kick this back off.

Let's roll it back a little bit. When we got that $26,000 invoice, that's when we said no. So we did not sign on that. And mind you, this is a proposal, just a proposal. So this is not set in stone, this $26,000 thing. She even mentioned that when we were at the tasting. She said, you can change anything you need to. This is not set in stone yet.

Why do I know exactly what's about to happen?

We're like, okay, event coordinator says you need to be paying on this new proposal. So with this new proposal, we would owe an additional $7,000 versus the old original contract. We would only owe about $100. So $100 to $7,000, that, that's a difference. That's a difference. So can somebody please make it make sense on how I have to pay an additional $7,000 for a proposal that has not been signed? How am I— how am I responsible for that additional amount of money? That doesn't make sense to me. We're canceling. We're not utilizing the place. You're not even shutting the place down for us. We have to wait for you to close in order for us to set up and get married. Like, you're not losing any money, you're gaining it. I'm losing. Make it make sense. So if you get anything from this video, just know to not book with Villa Terrace. Like, the amount of money that you're paying—

okay, I'm just, I'm just gonna pause here real, real quick because we gotta, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta address that. Uh, no, I would fight back. I would fight back strongly. Um, if this was my client, I would be contacting the venue on their behalf to be like, hi, uh, they have not signed a new proposal. You cannot charge them for a proposal they haven't signed. This is, this is one of the reasons why if you were on the fence about hiring a planner, and if you're not a combative person or you don't want to take this kind of stuff on, this is what a planner does. This is what a planner does. We're a lot cheaper per hour than a lawyer is, so do with that what you will, because this is a horrid situation. I can't make it right. Guys, I've been in this industry for a decade. There is no excuse for that. I do understand a non-refundable deposit. Let's walk through that for a moment, because a venue obviously books out in advance, and if someone has claimed that date for a very, very long time and then backs out at the last minute, there is a chance that the venue will not be able to rebook that date in a much shorter amount of time, and they've already put some administrative hours into it. They've done work on this event already. So the non-refundable deposit, I get, I'm on board with, I have one myself. If you sign on with me and then 6 months down the line we need to part ways, which is literally never happened. But if that did happen, I would retain a nonrefundable deposit for the work we've already done. This is very commonplace in the industry. Why are we adding on an additional $7,000? Zero clue. Zero clue. I don't see the justification in that. In fact, I feel like this is again predatory. This is inappropriate. The venue should not be doing this. I hope this bride sees this and feels extremely validated in this moment because this is preposterous. I don't remember what your name is.

Is it Ali?

I don't know, but you're so cute and I'm so frustrated for you. If it's a proposal, it's not a contract. You didn't sign for it. You don't have to pay for it. But don't take my advice for it because I'm not a lawyer. I just would engage on my bride's behalf in a scenario like this because that's bleeped up.

Okay, like, the amount of money that you're paying to get married in Wisconsin— this isn't LA or Miami or New York, you know, like What? There's so many things going wrong. I have to cancel my entire wedding and canceling vendors and I have to find something closer at home. I swear to God, like, if there's like another bad thing that happens, we're having a courthouse wedding and then we're going on vacation. I don't give a shit. I don't care if we celebrate with family at this point. Like, I'm done. I don't— I don't want to do this. Being a bride and getting married is supposed to be such a fun experience. And oh my gosh, this just is the cherry on top and it's ruining everything. I don't understand who is affording that in 2026. But when you— but when we included that venue price and then the food and beverage price and then all of our vendors and like my dress and Braden's suit, all of that, we're looking at about $60,000. So I'm out.

I'm done.

We're waiting on another response from this lady and I am going— I'm going to lose it if she tries to come up with another excuse on why we have to pay that. Make it make sense. My name is not signed in that little new dotted line. Have fun with that information because I'm freaking out. I— every single day somebody has to give me an additional amount of bad news. Every day I cry. Every day. Make it stop. I'm tired. I'm so tired.

I—

and all I can do, like, what else can you do but laugh? You know, like, what, great, now I'm depressed and sad and broke. Great. Eloping in some cool place is sounding really cool right now. Really cool. So don't, don't book with the Bella Terrace.

That's all, guys. This is the whole reason I do this channel. This is the whole reason. This is it right here. This bride, this moment, this, this situation. This is the entire reason that I do what I do. Because when we got married, there weren't resources out there like this. You know, YouTube was still YouTubing, but it was less of a thing. There was, I think, maybe a handful of online courses. Anyways, anyways. I created this because I didn't have resources readily accessible. When I made the master plan, I made it because I want to help couples like this. This is why wedding planners exist. Are we a luxury? Yes. Do you have to pay for us? No. Do you need some sort of structure, something to follow, someone to go up, up, up, up, up, up, up, do not book that venue, that's above what you can budget for a venue? Because if we're talking with my typical structure when it comes to a budget, which again is in the master plan if you want to come join me there, $29 a month, We've kept it super, super affordable for the last few years. We have not raised the cost on this at all. But in that budget, I believe the percentage I give is like 19% towards— just because that's how all the other numbers work out. But if, if this— if $18,000 was the 20%, um, we'll do that for easier math as we're doing this— that would mean that— okay, wait, so it's 18 over X is 20 over 100. So $18,000 times 100 divided by 20, that would be a 90 $30,000 wedding based off of the budget that I typically provide for people. The fact that she had the rest of her stuff ready to go for $10,000 though— dress, other vendors, photography, suit, etc.— like, she could have had a real tight wedding happen if she found a venue for $5,000. You can see how this difference of making sure you book a venue at a much lower rate and then source your own catering and don't fall into the venue trap of preferred or required vendors you could have a drastically different price, a drastically different price point. Um, a lot of numbers that you'll see online is that your venue and catering and bar, all that all together, if it's, if it's considered all together or added all together or required to be, is 50% of your budget. So if we're operating off that number, then we're looking at about $100,000 for the overall event cost. If you're planning a wedding without any sort of professional input whatsoever, there is a chance that you will run into issues like I do feel as though it is predatory on the part of the venue to not be more upfront. How many people do you have? Here's an average of what we see per head, just so you have a more educated number going into this. Because what, what are you gonna do? Like, how do you feel good about this with this couple who goes, we can't afford to spend $50,000 on your services alone, we can't do that. So if you're not subscribed, do it. Like, just please let me help you. Please, please stick around. If you haven't joined the Master Plan, come join me over there. Moral of the story: Check catering costs before you book the venue. Check catering requirements before you book the venue. Make sure you know what that average cost is before you sign anything. If you do get a quote back that you're uncomfortable with, make sure you know your cancellation policy. Okay? Make sure you know what your out strategy looks like. You can always, of course, read the contract or read that part of the contract when you get there. But sometimes contracts get real funky and sometimes locations, people get weird. So you just need to make sure that you know what you are literally signing. This couple has a lot of wisdom here, though, because she said, I know what I've signed and I'm not going any further with this. And you cannot make me sign or you cannot make me pay for a proposal that we did not sign up for. I personally would love to review this contract, to look through it and see like, what do they say? Is it 50% before food, after food? Is food automatically included? Like, there might be some language that they've put in here that they're going to try to hold her to. But if they're introducing a new proposal and the only other number that they've given them is the $3,000 minimum, I don't— I don't think that will stick. There are more videos in the series and I have not watched them and now I'm sorely tempted to. Okay, so if you're in a position like this, please read your contracts. Read them carefully wherever you're at in the planning process, whether you've signed them yet or not. Do not be afraid to bail on your plans if you need to. I would rather see you light $10,000 on fire than spend $100,000 that you didn't mean to spend. And I am aware that that is such a privileged statement to make. Okay. I'm aware marriages are a right, weddings are a luxury. I know. I hope that none of you ever have to come across a circumstance. I hope this situation never darkens your doorstep. Okay? I hope none of you ever have to light $10,000 on fire. This is not an ideal scenario, but I want you to select the best out of a worst hand. Okay? And that option is, you know what? Yep, we're going to go over here because we're already in the hole for this and we're not going any deeper. So we're going to pivot. And that takes swallowing your pride. That takes changing your mind. That takes confronting the venue. That takes confronting the vendor that you're no longer going to be working with. It takes a lot of chutzpah to go into a conversation like this, being like, I do not receive that. I'm not doing this. This is not what we thought we were signing up for. We're not even arguing with you on the deposit that we owe you. We just want to leave. We just want to leave. I would rather you save where you can by leaving a contract that does not suit you any longer financially, emotionally, etc., and set that money on fire than remain in a contractual relationship with a company that is practicing predatory practices. Practicing practices. Listen, okay, this is my first video back from maternity leave, all right guys? Your girl's still a little bit tired. Anyways, how much are you paying for your venue? Uh-huh, let me know. Or if you're single Pringle, pop off in the comments because I love a single Pringle. I literally had a consultation with a bride who told me the other day— just indulge me for just a moment, the video is almost over. Who told me she's been watching me since she was 14, and I was like, I don't have a box for that except for now I feel very old. So even if you're parked out, even if you're, you know, in the teen section, pop off in the comments down below. I'm so thrilled you guys are here. Please, please, please follow these instructions when booking your venue. If you have any questions or if you are freaking out and you can't afford a planner, please come join me in the Master Plan It's the whole reason I do what I do. It's why I make these videos. Subscribe while you're here. Okay, enough directives. That's all we have for today's video, guys. Thank you so much for watching. If you like the video, please like the video and subscribe to this channel for more tips and tricks for the modern-day bride. And until next week, bye guys! If you are struggling with wedding planning and you have questions and you just need someone to listen and to chat with, come join us in the Master Plan community over at themasterplanwed.com. I would love to have you in there. Thanks so much for listening. If you haven't done so already, Subscribe, jump on over to wherever you're listening to this podcast and leave a 5-star review so we can let the podcast people know that Jamie knows what she's talking about sometimes. And until next time, bye guys!