Episode 31 Imposter Syndrome

My name is Zaakirah Muhammad, and you are listening to the Living Legacy Podcast. This weekly podcast features women of purpose sharing stories of resilience. They are wives, artists, entrepreneurs, they run businesses, and here they will share their stories of how they overcame obstacles and how they're juggling it all. If you're ready to learn about professionalism, entrepreneurship, business, travel, life, and love, you're in the right place. You will hear real and raw stories of survival. Now it's your turn to be inspired to step outside of your own comfort zone. I am a cancer survivor, brand cultivating strategist, world traveler, and a professional photographer. I'm your host of the Living Legacy Podcast. Let's get into it. Today's episode is all about imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is all about self-doubt and the feeling of overriding any feelings of success. This episode is me sharing about that experience. This is more popular and more common in women, and it's even linked to being a perfectionist. No matter how successful we women are, sometimes it's hard for us to internalize our accomplishments. Therefore, imposter syndrome kicks in. No matter how high achieving and highly successful we are, imposter syndrome doesn't equate with low self-esteem or lack of confidence. We could have the highest confidence, the highest self-esteem, and still think maybe we're just not good enough. If you've listened to previous Living Legacy Podcast episodes, you will hear how I have talked about all the amazing things that I've done, that I've accomplished, that I've started, all of the places that I've went to, all of the amazing people that I've gotten the pleasure of working with. However, still to this day, there are moments where I'm not quite sure about myself, in a way, about my successes. So I want to tell a story about the time in 2018 imposter syndrome kicked in so strongly. This was right before I signed up for an online course called 1K1Day. Before taking 1K1Day, it's when I learned to almost have a gratitude journal. So I have to write out, if not on a daily basis or weekly basis, then a monthly or even biweekly basis, regularly basically, to write out what I'm grateful for and what I have accomplished today. And that has been the tool for helping me to beat imposter syndrome during a season where it's hard. You know, a lot of entrepreneurs have a lot of sales going on at this time of year and Most of the time, I didn't have that. A lot of other entrepreneurs already had their courses up and running during a time that's normally considered slow season, right before the tax season starts. And I wasn't finished with mine. Early in 2018, imposter syndrome kicked in so strongly. I had just moved back from doing 6 months of trial and error as an entrepreneur and businesswoman in my hometown of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Everyone was traveling. I missed traveling. I hadn't traveled in 2 more places. And then people were either also happily conceiving and being impregnated and I, you know, have known that I've always wanted to have 3 kids, but we don't even have 1 yet. So anything where I kind of feel that I feel myself in comparison to or Any experiences. I say, for example, some people are achieving or doing the things that I want to do in the music industry, but I have not done yet. So I literally had to remove the— unfollow— well, first I just completely removed these social media apps from my phone. This was okay because this was the point where I literally had zero social media clients. When I'm a brand cultivating strategist, the most I've managed was 5 small businesses at one time. So at this point, I had zero social media clients at all. So I could just completely remove the social media app from my phone. But then at one point I did, you know, have to come back around to Instagram, one, to support my best friend as she launched her entrepreneurial hustles. And then once I did start becoming a consultant again. So Instagram life can really be falsified. and curated and I was just completely sucked into it. I'm a foodie, so I love being able to eat out and have delicious food. I love 3, 4, and 5-star restaurants. I was blessed to be able to experience those. Not only was I trying to add more space to my phone for other stuff, I needed to remove the feelings of imposter syndrome and a lot of that came— reoccurred When I would scroll back and see delicious meals that I've had the pleasure of eating and tasting and enjoying, you know, the work of chef that I've had the pleasure of enjoying. So in order for me to kind of be more vulnerable, move forward, and not let imposter syndrome get in the way of my successes and what I want to do, I have to, you know, go back to the beginning, right? I have to remember of who is the best version Of Zaakirah. At what phase have you— have I seen the best version of Zaakirah, right? Have I seen the best version of myself? Between that and just learning how to so fully start using a vision board. For the longest time, I would collect magazines. I would read them and then toss them aside because I know I wanted to use them later on for scrapbooking, for vision boarding, and then just procrastinated. Finally, in 2018, Whitney, you'll learn about her in the previous episode. We finally took a road trip to someone who was having a vision board party with a few other women who have gotten together from a Facebook group. And she had a vision board party at her home. And that was the liftoff for me. If I ever feel imposter syndrome kicking in, if I ever feel I don't know what I'm talking about, if I ever feel that I'm not good enough, I would either look at my vision board to see that I have ways to go and that there's more of a purpose, or I would just simply write out the good things that happened that week, that month, the thing that— the goals that I did accomplish. And then last but not least, of course, depending on— I am a God girl, so depending on the power of prayer and writing in sentences of manifestation. So not just one day I will, Or I want to do this, but just putting it in future tense. You know, I've learned to do that. Just whatever goals I want to accomplish, when I write it out as SMART goals, S-M-A-R-T. So specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. That helps with manifesting the goals and dreams that have come into my head to actually not just be dreams, but actually become actionable plans. I'm so used to being Mr. Independent and doing things on my own, but once I learned that I cannot do everything on my own and I don't know everything, that helps to ease the load of feeling like I'm not good enough because I'm smart enough to know when to say, I don't know, and literally do my research or hand it over to someone who does know better than me, right? Because there's a quote of, if you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. And I have been in that situation and I Completely understand it. I'm a creative, and if I'm not around other creatives who I won't feel envious or jealous of, but who will also help to take the time to educate and motivate and mentor me, it helps with imposter syndrome too. So with that being said, it's taken 2 years because I did let imposter syndrome get into my head, but I am releasing a book. I'm releasing a memoir and it's called Seeing Life Through a Different Lens. It is currently available on Kindle and it will be available, the physical copy will be available on my website and on Amazon in December 2019. The book is basically my mom and I sharing stories about overcoming adversity with resilience as we share also what we learned from living with non-hereditary bilateral retinoblastoma. So, not only does this book help you to gain a better understanding of this rare childhood cancer, it also shines a light on a loving and supportive community. My mom started the blog and ran it successfully, in my opinion, for 2 years. And now we are repurposing most of the content into the book. So, this book starts off with alternating storytelling. So, it'll start off with The excerpts from her blog about the diagnosis, the surgery, initially losing my hearing, a few of the things that I've touched on in this podcast. And the ones that weren't necessarily with a guest, I've touched on a few of these things, these aspects of my life in the podcast episodes. And now in this book, you get to read the full stories. That I don't remember from my early childhood because, honestly, my earliest memory is when I was maybe 3 years old, the first few road trips we took. So support your independent author, 'cause I did self-publish, but not necessarily by myself, 'cause I did have a lot of help with editing and with designing and even just to get it on Amazon, 'cause I know nothing about that. Here's to 2020. Here's to fulfilling— hey, let's— how about this? Here's to fulfilling 20 of your goals, the ones that you've put off for so long, right? What's that 1 to 20 goal? That have come to your head that you know you wanted to do, but you've heard yourself saying negative talk of, nah, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I know how to. I don't think anyone will buy, read, purchase, anything like that. Anything that you recall you followed up with negative talk, you have a goal in your head, but then you catch yourself following up with negative talk, that's the goal that I want you to fulfill in 2020. Like this podcast, for example. This podcast was delayed due to imposter syndrome. You know, I wondered who's going to listen? What am I going to talk about? And thank goodness, you know, with your help, we have— we are almost at 1,000 listens. So thank you so much. To continue helping me to create amazing content for the next— for season 3. I can't believe I'm about to say this, season 3. of the Living Legacy Podcast, please do share a review, whether you're just gonna post it on your own social media, Facebook, Instagram pages, and share it with the link to share with your friends, or even just go to Apple Podcasts. So when you search either on iTunes, if you have that, just search for Apple Podcasts and then search for Living Legacy Podcast and leave a review. You can also leave a review. You don't have to be logged in. Maybe create an account for Podchaser. Leave a review there. These reviews help me, not only help me to know how I'm doing, but they also help other listeners who are looking for podcasts just like this to be inspired. Maybe looking for the same reasons that you're listening to and for the same episodes that you are inspired by. Maybe they need the same thing. So help me help you and help others by leaving a review, which will also allow me to reach more people and inspire others and help them to get out of their imposter syndrome. Thank you for listening to the Living Legacy Podcast. Be sure to subscribe, follow, and download so you don't miss the next episode. If you want to learn more, you can visit zaakirahnayyar.com. That's Z-A-A-K-I-R-A-H-N-A-Y-Y-A-R.com.