Finding and Following Your Life Purpose with Tanya J Miller

This weekly podcast inspires you to step outside of your comfort zone. My name is Zaakirah Muhammad, and I'm your host of the Living Legacy Podcast. I am a cancer survivor, brand cultivating strategist, author, and world traveler. This Living Legacy Podcast features women of purpose sharing stories of resilience. They are single and married. They are artists and entrepreneurs who run businesses and juggle parenthood. If you are ready to hear interviews about professionalism, entrepreneurship, travel, life, and love, you are in the right place. They will share stories of how they overcame adversity while seeing life through a different lens. Let's get into it.

So today on the Living Legacy Podcast, we have Tanya Miller. She is an author, speaker, coach, and strategist with a passion for helping people and organizations figure out how to live life and fulfill leadership unapologetically and on purpose. She empowers individuals and organizations looking to figure out how to fit the puzzle pieces of life together so they can do life right. She encourages, motivates, and inspires, and she helps you to release your fears and rise to your potential. So she wrote a book from a personal place of trauma, and in there she talks about how her resilience and determination to come out of it has also helped others to share their stories. We're going to talk about all of that today. Tanya also believes everyone has a purpose, and from that purpose comes your passion, your vision, and your destiny. So we're going to talk about uncovering that, maximizing it, and living your best life. So thank you, Tanya, for being here. How are you today?

I'm doing well. How are you doing, Zaakirah?

Good, good. I can't wait to have this conversation because you're pretty much the ideal guest. We love to talk about, you know, purpose and resilience. Oh my goodness.

Well, I hope I stand up to it for the family. that is listening. I hope I give the Living Legacy Podcast what they're looking for today.

Absolutely. All right, so let's jump into it. I think I'm gonna do, uh, the hard question first, kind of. So tell me how your book came about.

So the book comes from a time where I was stuck myself. Like, I was stuck, I was numb, and I didn't know—

not—

I didn't know how to get out of my head. I went through one thing after another, and it was just like, okay, I can't take anymore. And then here came some more. My husband and I, we dealt with layoffs and unemployment and job loss between us 6 times in 7 years. I dealt with a lot of health issues at the time as well. Just being in a new city where I had basically at the time no family nearby, you know, and so just having to figure out life. When life was hitting me hard and life was just throwing everything it could at me, I, like I said, I got stuck. I didn't know how to get out of it. And so I made the decision to go to therapy. I'm a proponent of therapy, especially as you look at 2020, you may not have been planning that. And so you may need to go talk to somebody. You may need to go to group therapy. You may need to, you know, do something so that you don't stay stuck. So it came from me being stuck in my own head.

Tell us where we can find the book, because I have a feeling we got it. We get to learn all those stories that you just kind of briefly talked about in the book. Where can we find this book?

Yes, so the book is on my store, shop.tanyajmiller.com. The book and the journals, as well as my other 2 projects and 4 books, are there. But you can also get them on Amazon as well. Um, the books are there in print, digital, and audio, and then the journals are there in print only.

Perfect.

Now tell us how you found your purpose.

You know, for me it wasn't— you know, I, I tell people it's not a thing where you find it. It may be a thing where you uncover it, you tap into it, you know, digging into yourself, you know. And so for me, it was just kind of putting 2 and 2 together. It wasn't that I found it, it was just like Tanya, like, what you were doing was already it. So just put it together, package it, you know, put it out for the people to know, hey, Tanya does this, Tanya helps with this, Tanya has a heart for this, Tanya shows up for this. And so that was what it was like for me. It's just kind of putting the, you know, putting the puzzle pieces together and just saying, hey, I do this. Like, okay, like, like, I've been doing it. Why was I not giving myself a chance? Why was I not, you know, betting on myself? And so that was what I did. For me personally, but other people, they may have to just dig deep or just look at their passions and see what the passion, I guess, if you will, which passion takes you to your purpose. Because sometimes everything you're passionate about is not necessarily a purpose. Or in that passion, you may figure out zig and zag, this is where I can get to, and that's how it aligns to it. Yeah, for me it was personal, just kind of puzzle pieces. But for others, it may be a little something different.

Now tell me, how did you discover it? Because the way that I've been putting it out there is like, you know what it is because it came to you. You were doing it. Like, if you were to think about what could you do hours on end, you know what that one thing is. So what was it that you were doing, or what moment do you remember really discovering it?

I kind of probably when I was putting out the book, I kind of just started, you know, realizing, you know, Tanya, you've been mentoring. They just came and coaching. They came up with this whole title as a life coach, but people had been doing it for 20, 30 years, for you long, for a long time, you know. So I was like, you've been, you've been coaching, you know, just go and get some, some letters behind your name, you know. You've been, you know, being a speaker. Like, I've been speaking publicly since I was like 3 or 4 years old. So it was around the time when I was putting a book out there that I realized how it all fit together and how, um, you know, this next level of, I guess, me trying— because I had a nonprofit and business before— but the next level of me trying was putting it all together. I think I was trying to do different pieces of it, but it made sense to just make it a whole puzzle and stop trying to work each of the pieces separately. So when I was writing my book— so no, not— no, no, not when I was writing my book, because when I was putting it together, right, right. I technically wrote my book 5 years before I published.

Okay, so talk— let's talk about that. Let's talk about what mental shifts, a natural shift, life shift had to happen, uh, in order to really, um, overcome those blocks and make it through those levels of resilience.

I would say during the time when I was dealing with what I was dealing with, I just had to overcome a mindset. I literally had just gotten into the mindset that this is— I guess this is all that it is. And I was never that way. It was like, I guess this is it. We're not going to get out of the pit. We're going to stay in this. We're not going to have any more. Because every time I was trying on my own strength, nothing was happening. And so I just got to the point to where— I was like, okay, well, I guess nothing is going to get better. But then I realized it's supposed to be better. Like, it's— this isn't my purpose, is to stay in this rut, to stay in this hole, to stay in this mindset. And so I started going to therapy to work through all of that, you know, even if I was, you know, financially broke, you know, work through that and know that, hey, you won't be broke forever, you know. So I started to do the work to unpack what What was basically piling up on me.

What tools would you give as examples that really helped you to make it through that would also, you know, others can be able to look up and utilize themselves?

With 2020, a lot of time, a lot of what's happened has been unexpected, unplanned, and unwanted, but it's also been a good time to heal and to deal, if you will. And so for me, some of it just has to do with appreciating what you take for granted, appreciating that You can be in your own home and be, you know, safe and covered and stuff like that. So a lot of it is just to kind of take that moment of appreciation and sit back. Another thing I would do, and I would say, is that I don't necessarily meditate, but I like to be still and quiet because I feel like that's where peace is. And so sometimes you don't need all that ruckus and loudness and just be doing and running around. Like, you know, some people just go and go and go, and it's like— You maybe need to sit down. And so I would definitely say take a moment to just sit down and find your peace, find your center, find your, um, zen. Um, something else, it's closed now, it's not open, but there is a national nature park that I like to go to. Um, it involves hiking and, you know, a lot of sights that you wouldn't normally see on the regular day. And so, you know, I would say to that Take some time out to maybe be in nature. Maybe that might be gardening for you. Maybe that might be taking a walk for you. Maybe that might be working on a project from, you know, the tools around your house or your yard or something like that. But kind of just get back and, you know, get in the ground, if you will. Um, and so those are definitely some things that I do, as well as just listening to a great book, listening to a great podcast like Zaakirah's. You know, sometimes you got to feed your soul and your mind. And so you got to— if there's nobody around you that is providing that answer to what's burning inside of you, then you need to go around like-minded people. And that may mean a podcast, that may mean a book, that may mean a YouTube video, or that may be following somebody on social media that provides that encouragement. So I use all of that, all of that, because you have to be reminded of affirmations and confessions and stuff. How that sometimes you may be thinking one thing, but you got to start speaking another. And the longer you speak it, the more your brain will understand and your thoughts will understand they don't have power. Because sometimes we have that stinking thinking.

Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, so I love those tips. So I definitely utilize a lot of them. Definitely affirmation, because imposter syndrome is huge.

Um, huge.

Also exercise. Yep, I love outdoor exercising, but because I would say I've intertwined my experience with yoga, meditation, and prayer. I do what I can with, you know, yoga stretches, and then of course making sure that you take care of your mental health even on social media, making sure you're not following the wrong things.

Yes.

And yeah, and I guess I would definitely add journaling, journaling to help with that level of gratitude, because not everyone can really process that immediately, especially if they're still used to just whatever, you're just in the moment of this is what's going on right now and I'm not comfortable about what's going on right now. And then I think the last thing I wanted to add was, uh, nutrition. Like now, oh yeah, not only, um, exactly, exactly, not only is it a great time to learn new recipes, but, you know, utilize what's good for you, not what's not good for you.

Absolutely, I agree with the nutrition because a lot of times we take that for granted, but if you can, same thing with your, you You know, what you say, watch what you eat, and watch what you do, and how you prepare it, and what you fix, and just kind of be mindful. You know, sometimes it literally just makes a difference in what you decide to eat, and that may change your life and your health.

So, because— Do you think healthy wealth?

Yes, absolutely. You know, something my husband always says is a lot of times, you know, the ones that are wealthy, they put a lot of time and energy into their health because they know if they're not in health and in good shape, then that's the same thing as not being able to show up. And when they don't show up, they don't get to be able to make the money that they're supposed to do. So they understand that their health is their wealth and their health is what keeps their wealth. So I think, like you said, if a lot of people start realizing it and not taking it for granted, they may realize that they're richer than what they think.

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Now, how do you feel about traveling? Where have you traveled to? Where do you want to travel to next?

So, and I know you asked me about, um, millennial thoughts, and I was like, we didn't talk about travel. But I will tell you, I've been to a lot of places in the United States, and I actually have a sister, a bestie, that she is from Jamaica. And her and Mommy have literally been like, Tanya, when are you coming? And the plan was to come this summer, But all of this craziness, I don't think I'm coming. And I'm like, I was finally going to be able to go and, you know, take some time off and be able to go. And now I don't even think they're going because the kids go there every summer and she takes them and then picks them up. So we were going— I was going to go when she either took them or picked them up, but I don't know when it's happening. But definitely that's like a place that I plan on going several times just because of our relationship with her. I definitely want to go to Africa. My husband's like, what? What? I was like, yeah, I want to go. Um, and then—

Yeah, but, um, I don't know.

I mean, I've seen my, um, cousin. He's been stationed over in Egypt, and so he showed all these amazing pictures and the pyramids and stuff like that. And I'm like, I want to go there, but I'm like, is it hot? Because it looked hot. Like, all I was saying. So I'm not sure. I I think I want to go to Egypt and then like, um, South Africa. I'm not sure. I just, I, I just kind of maybe want to do— I know it's the hugest continent, but maybe like a couple of spots if it's possible, you know, throughout my life. I want to see just, um, the different things that are there. And then the similar— because I don't know about you, I watch HGTV, the one that's the international version, and I'm like, that's nice. Like, okay.

Yeah.

Like, it's like You know, it's very similar. So I just kind of want to look, look around and stuff and go around. And actually, I think I want to go to Australia because I love Australian TV. My husband's like, you watch stuff that I can't even understand and they're speaking English. I was like, I love it, I love it. So I think I want to go to Australia. And then, um, so I, I had a podcast interview, uh, with Simona And she was based in Canada, so I was like, well, I guess I'm coming to Canada. She's in Toronto, so I guess I'm coming to Canada too. And so we were like, yeah, we're gonna plan something. And so hey, you never know. But what about you? I have to ask you, where have your travels led to you and where have you been?

So I actually want— I want to backtrack a little bit. So we first mentioned Millennial Thoughts, and I would do want to say for those who have not heard it yet, both Tanya and I have been on that podcast. So Alicia is a great interviewer. And so on there, yep, and on there I think I did mention the fact that I have been to South Africa, I have been to Ghana, Senegal, and The Gambia. So I've been to like 10 countries.

Oh my gosh.

Of course, you know, I look forward to the chance I can get another passport stamp.

That's what I was about to say. I'm just trying to get one stamp and you got like 10, like, oh my God.

But, uh, but I actually am Becoming a bigger fan again, because honestly, my love for travel started like with many road trips just up and down the US, East Coast, West Coast, all of that. Want to get back to that vibe of either going to a country that is already acquired by the US that doesn't require a passport, like Virgin Islands, like Hawaii, something like that.

Okay.

Um, or just, you know, what they call utilizing a staycation, right? So a staycation of learning something in our state where we already live, we're going to the next state. I, I have what they call have been bitten by the travel bug. So once it's, you know, there, it doesn't go anywhere. So definitely would hope to do something for the summer because, you know, I too was so used to so many summer travel trips. So hopefully we can do something.

Yeah, in the States though, I've been a lot of places, like a lot. So, but there are still some that I want to go to, um, like, um, Seattle, Washington, and, um, but, and then I want to go to Palm Springs because everybody's talking about that's where you like kind of get you know, relaxed and spas and stuff like that. So I just want to see what it's like, you know. So those are a couple of more places in the States that I want to go to.

All right, so where can we find a few of— where can we find your services? And then also, where can we find you on the web, your website, your services, your website, and your social media?

Absolutely. So my website is taniyajmiller.com. On there you can find information about my speaking, coaching, and then my strategy sessions that I have on leadership and organizational development. Um, you can also, like I mentioned before, get the books on there and they'll take you to the store or to Amazon. But the direct store link is shop.tanyajmiller.com. That's where you'll find books, journals, message merch. Basically, I say it's merch with a purpose, so it's message apparel, stickers, buttons, mini message flashcards, just everything that reinforces a message that has school.tanyajmiller.com. It's also on the site, but that is where you will find information on my online life and leadership classes. So there's actually a few that are free. I'll be loading some more before the end of the summer. So then I'm on social media on Talking with Tanya on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter. So that is definitely where you can find me. And I just, you know, want to say that I loved, um, your spirit, your heart. Y'all, she was getting on me about the picture. I was like, she—

because she has a photography background and I I was like, I'm trying to find it.

Like, I, I got like a computer that like has too much on it and it's slow. But just her heart for perseverance and, you know, you know, her heart to do what she does. Like, I love the fact that you're a survivor, you know, of cancer, because some aren't, you know. And so the fact that you survived, and not only are you using your time to be, like you said, with the travel bug, but you're using your time to help others and to speak on different topics and to be who you are and show up and represent on purpose. So I love all of that that you're doing, you know, as a strategist, as a podcaster, you know, you're just doing a lot to make a difference. And, you know, I love the fact that your voice is being heard because it's necessary. And so I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for all that you're doing. And the more that I'm sure that's Thank you. In you to be able to do. You speak on adversity, you speak on, you know, resilience, because you know what it's like to fight. And so you are sharing with us all how to fight that great fight. So thank you, Zakirah. I really appreciate your heart and your spirit. And y'all better make sure y'all are following her and liking and subscribing and giving comments and reviews and letting her know that her time is, you know, valued, and that she's literally helping you guys fight, and, and you guys are learning from her and the people she's bringing on. So sometimes you need to hear that. And so I'm telling you guys, y'all tell Zaakirah and check out her services as well and what she offers as a strategy, um, a brand, brand, um, strategist as well. So I gave her her plug and photography and travel. So y'all check her out because she got like 3 sites and she doing major stuff. So I had to make sure I said that, Zaakirah, because sometimes you don't hear it enough.

Well, thank you for that. Yes, I wanted to definitely I appreciate you mentioning that because for me, I did realize at a young age that my purpose does involve being visually creative and helping people to step outside of their comfort zone, right? I had to step outside of mine. So now it's like taking everything that I learned and helping others. And so for me, it's definitely helpful. I am a helper, my Enneagram is a 2, right? So I love to know that I'm actually helping. So that's great.

Yes.

I would love to see all of the comments, especially for this episode on our Social media. Yeah, we have— I just started the Living Legacy podcast on Instagram and Facebook. So definitely your favorite quotes from this.

I love the name Living Legacy. Like, a lot of people don't even realize— they wait till they— to the end of life when you could have been doing it the whole time in the middle.

So exactly, exactly. So it's interesting because my book is titled Seeing Life Through Different Lenses, and so The more reviews I got, the more the book finally came out, because that too was a little bit of procrastination before we got it out. But then the more reviews I got, the more I realized, okay, that kind of like could be the new brand of it. So right now it's just a subname, right? So you're still living your legacy, but you got to be able to see life through a different lens. So not only is it just a twist on, you know, me as a photographer, but also, you know, being more grateful, being more positive, being more, you know, living our lives. So yeah.

Absolutely. Absolutely, especially 2020. Yeah, you have to see it from a different perspective, a different lens.

Absolutely.

You know, you gotta, you gotta shift it up. For me, I called it cultivated perspective. So you got to cultivate something new from what you got and where you're at and look at it from a different point of view. Maybe something that you weren't planning for, but it's where you are. You have to do something to make sure you live on purpose and you make sure that you're living on legacy because We don't, we, you know, we take it for granted. And I hope that's what a lot of people realize, that, you know, it doesn't matter how old you are, young you are. The goal of life, as Dr. Myles Munroe said it, was to die empty, to go to the graveyard and disappoint the cemetery, which means all of your purpose is supposed to be given away. All of your purpose is to be used as, as Zakirah said, as a helper, you know, as a, as one that's willing to give and not always expect to receive.

I love yours too. All right, well, thank you, Tanya, and I'll definitely make sure we have all your, um, links in the show notes so people can click on it. Because I think what people— it's so interesting, you probably experienced it growing up as well, that people would look at your name and say Tanya, especially, you know, wherever they're from. But it, it's not that, huh?

Yeah, yeah, no, definitely. I get that all the time. They're like, oh, I, I thought it was this. And I'm like, no, I said, but you know, I understand that they're Maybe a shift. Listen, I understand that what you see may be one thing, but what I'm telling you is another. So like you said, change it, see it from a different lens. Uh, you may have known it this way your whole life, but now that you've met me, now that you met Zakirah, shift and change your lens. See it from our point of view, because sometimes seeing it from another person's point of view can give you an opportunity to change your life and leave it, leave it here as a legacy on purpose. So I love it, I love it, I love it. It's so funny you mentioned that because I've been seeing a meme.

It's been resurfacing for me, but the meme about like 6 plus 9 is the same thing as 9 plus 6, right? And so it doesn't mean that anyone's right or wrong. It's literally just seeing from their perspective.

Absolutely.

I definitely wanted to end with that. And thank you so much, Tanya. This has been a pleasure.

Absolutely. Likewise. Great meeting you and talking to you.

Thank you for listening to the Living Legacy Podcast. Be sure to subscribe, follow, and download so you don't miss the next episode. If you want to learn more, you can visit zaakirahnayyar.com. That's Z-A-A-K-I-R-A-H-N-A-Y-Y-A-R dot com. Do you have any suggestions on a topic you want to be talked about? Send me an email or leave them in a review. If you love this episode, be sure to share it with your friends.