LIberate Your Soul from Trauma with Vanessa Vassallo

But if we consistently let the bullies of what they did to us— and don't forget, they don't remember you. They have no idea or recollection what they've done to you. It's only you that holds that pain, and it's your life that's being destroyed. And that's when we have the difference, which is in the program I teach, which is my secret formula, is the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual. If none of them— and the triangle being the strongest shape ever— if none of them are aligned, what happened to you as a child will be with you forever.

So today on the See Life Different podcast, we have Vanessa. She is the founder of Liberate Your Soul, and so her goal is all about love, just love. So she's all about finding your inner guru And she utilizes her experience as a personal trainer, a therapist, spiritual teacher, and a soon-to-be author of 12 books. 12 amazing books. So we're going to talk about, um, how she overcame all of her traumas in the world and how she'd been able to switch that into utilizing that to heal the world and make the world a better place. So Vanessa, thank you so much for being here. How are you?

Thank you. I'm fine.

Thank you for having me. How are you?

Good, good. And where are you now? Because I know it's not, um, quite morning.

No, it's in the afternoon in England, and we're in the East Midlands, and the sun has been shining for 2 days, so we've been doing really well.

But that's good. Anytime we get sunshine, that's great because we all could use a little sunshine and little bursts of happiness nowadays.

Absolutely, yeah.

So I want to get deep into the hard stuff because it seems like we had a brief conversation before starting recording, and it seems like you are so open with, let's just talk about the hard stuff.

Let's.

Yeah, love it, love it.

So tell me, um, why do you choose love? We, we know that we all have experienced some kind of level of childhood trauma. Now why do you choose love?

Okay, so when—

let's Let's touch base on the childhood trauma. First of all, the first thing that happens, and it took me a long time to speak openly about it because I was abused as a kid. We've all got our story, and the Buddha always says, yeah, and? And you're like, what? Everybody's got a story. Everybody's got problems.

It completely diminishes our life. So I went from one negative story after another after another, like many others. You either just sink right the way down because you don't get your education, you don't get your schooling, so now you're at the bottom of the food chain. Then you've just got dead-end jobs all the time. This— I realized even now, you know, I'm not speaking like I'm totally free of my mind because I'm not. But if we consistently let the bullies of what they did to us— and don't forget, they don't remember you. They have no idea or recollection what they've done to you. It's only you that holds that pain, and it's your life that's being destroyed. And that's when we have the difference, which is in the program I teach, which is my secret formula, is the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual. If none of them— and the triangle being the strongest shape ever— if none of them are aligned, what happened to you as a child will be with you forever. And it took me a long time to understand that, and you cannot love, you cannot love. I was in another group a little while ago, and some of the questions they asked, like, why can't I find a boyfriend? Or I'm suffering with my sexuality, and this, that, and the other. And it's like, just love. Can you look in the mirror and hold yourself and say, do you know what, I really love you? Or When you do your yoga, do you feel that absolute immersifying love? And not many people do. And it is so, so— it breaks my heart. It is so sad. It is so sad.

Yeah, it's very important to have self-love. And even for me, my childhood trauma really surrounds being a cancer survivor. So not only just surviving cancer, but also everyone else who just did not understand the journey. They understand what they see. And therefore, that's called the result of bullying. And just like you're right, most people— there was actually one bully that I had in 5th grade, and fast forward maybe 10 years later, she knew that I had a photography background, asked me to photograph her wedding. Now, before I said yes, I'm like, do you remember bullying me? She said no, and she had no idea. So that was the surefire sign that any trauma that you have, you definitely have to work through it on your own, but also with a therapist. Like you, right?

Yeah, I mean, I believe that, I believe that there is a professional background to the help that you need. And by law, we all have to say, you know, go to the directory, find a therapist, call this, call the Samaritans. But at the same time, every single person I've spoken to across the world doing my podcast, the clients I've had in the past, Every single one of them say, I just couldn't get up in the morning. And I knew that I had to do this myself. So a therapist, and somebody that has been to university and got the credentials, and it really winds me up because when we speak about that at the beginning, we speak about education. Well, you and I would have done our best, but maybe we could have done better in a different setting. So we were set back from that, we had to chase up and like other abuse victims, may well have had to chase up or work even harder. And there's all different things that reflect that time in your life. So now we have people saying to us, oh, education doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, oh, it's just a bit of paper. But to you, that's your livelihood. And depending what education you got puts you in the position of the food chain. So when we talk about therapists, a majority of people I've spoken to And even when I was involved in gangs and I got arrested and I was going to prison and all the rest of it, even probation officers, not one of them noticed that number one, I was a young girl on my own. I was with a lot of Nigerian and Ghanaian men that were over in England running the game. They had no idea who they were, and they were—

they had a lot of contacts.

You just didn't mess about with them. You did as you were told. And they never realized that the way my body language was, they never realized the questions they were asking in therapy. I was like, it's irrelevant, it doesn't matter. You know, I was this kid that had been in a gang for like 3 years, so I, I thought I was completely and utterly untouchable. I didn't give a shit. So, um, yeah. And so that's as well, all through these trials I've been through, and I thank God and You know, Jesus went through the same thing, and all different kinds of spiritual gurus went through the same thing. Again, religion is is a different level. But when we talk about all of this, everybody has their own teaching, and that's why I teach about finding your inner guru because you are your teacher. You know, and so when we do that, you know, people say I was with my therapist for 24 years, and da da da da da da, and then they'll come and have one conversation with me, and it's like what? What the eff?

What was that about?

And that's just because the connection's there, you know, because of love. So I'm not saying that a therapist and everything's a complete waste of time. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is there's a time and a place for it. And depending on how that therapist has been educated and how that therapist has sort of matured through their practice depends if they're going to serve you or not. So again, every time and space is what it is.

I love that. And I absolutely agree, um, on being your inner guru also. Once you find it, once you unlock it, then continue to be it. Because, um, even for me, I've never found one therapist that really works for me because I'm so multicultural, you know, between, of course, the culture of being a cancer survivor, the culture of religion, the culture of my skin tone and where I am from culturally, you know, from being in— from the US and then my ancestors from the Caribbean. So it's like, okay, what therapist would understand all these multifaceted aspects of me and not one. So of course, I've done a lot of soul searching, and that's been amazing. I've been doing a lot of reflecting, and that's been amazing. And so, um, how has that helped you from going from, uh, all the adversity you faced to now being able to turn it around and help other women?

I mean, don't get me wrong, you know, today was a bad day for me.

I'm still struggling. You do, and you mustn't be ashamed to say, oh no, no, no, no, I'm like Jesus, I can, I can turn, I can turn bread into water, I can do what I like because I've been through it.

That's not the case at all, and I, I can't stand hearing it.

But you and I will probably both agree that we both had, have been in that egotistic point, especially when you—

It's actually the Superwoman syndrome, I think.

Yeah, absolutely. And when you cross that water and you visibly, you know, for those that, um, see Jesus and for those that see Buddha or other kind, we call them, we call them the hierarchy of the spiritual guides. And so when I used to see them by my bed, uh, or, you know, I'd be in another dead-end job just putting food on the table whilst you're trying to work out this entrepreneurial journey, because that's life, it happens. Um, again, money's a different energy. And I, I used to hear Vanessa, Vanessa, and I used to be like, what the hell is that? And then all I'd see is like this vision of, by the way, not a white-skinned male but quite a dark-skinned male. And I— who are you?

I'm Jesus.

I'm like, oh, leave off. And then that would just constantly repeat. And then all the readings would come from what he did. And like, at the moment I'm rereading the Testament and the Psalms because you're just called to do those. And when I used to give Reiki and healing to clients, Buddha would appear. Um, but again, don't forget there's all different Buddhas. We just use that one word. So when all this goes on and you're trying to find your way, the ego is very, very high because it's a war outside of yourself. And so when you're going through your journey, you have to try and align all of that. And actually, it's not, it's not easy. It's incredibly difficult. So then we talk about vibrations. So in one of my teachings, my first chapter in, in the book that's coming out soon is everything's about vibration. If you do not understand about vibrations, and we can talk about it openly now in the year 2021 because everybody's felt a negative vibration for over a year now nearly. then we cannot align ourselves with nothing because we can't grab hold of anything. We can't grab hold of anything.

So that definitely is, you know, what it's about. And I also like the fact that I—

my ego has calmed right down, that I'm openly being able to say the words Jesus. Catholicism, Buddhism, Judaism, you know, all these different religions That all hold a book that we all turn to and read at the right time, regardless of who and what we are. So put war and everything to the side. And when I— when you're a beauty therapist, when you go to beauty school or hairdressing school— my daughter's just gone, going to do hairdressing now— the first thing they say to you is, do not have a conversation with your client about politics, religion, or any kind of social problems that are going on at the time. Now as an adult and you're working with all different kinds of people, you're like, why not? Why, why is that a problem? Well, it causes diversity. So let's just welcome it in. Everyone's entitled to their opinion.

But we all have that, and that's what's great about families.

Families teach us to back away from that nutcase that's like, okay, all right, all right. Fair enough, we'll leave it there. That's your opinion, I respect that. But, and that's why families are so great, because they teach us to deal with those really awkward, horrible situations. We've all got that aunt or uncle, haven't we? Or even our own fathers or mothers, you know, that we're able to sort of fight off.

Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. Those, those especially— thank goodness for my parents who were always that button pusher, or the ones who would literally set those, set those boundaries and set those rules of like, this is why you can't do that. So I'm grateful at least that my My parents were pretty much, for the most part, pretty open with communication. Um, so that definitely helped a lot because, you know, whatever you go through and learn from your childhood, it overlays right into your relationships in the future. Absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely.

I love the fact that you did bring up, um, ego, control, and pride. I feel like those 3 things are— if someone has not mastered their inner guru, those are the things that they struggle with on a day-to-day basis. And I do love I love the fact that, um, uh, like, because even for me, my religion of Islam is all the same thing, the same book, the same concept, the same stories, and the same, um, direction. We're all literally going in the same direction, which is to really go to heaven. You do the right thing, go to heaven. So, um, how has the program Liberate Your Soul— how did that initially come about?

Wow.

Um, so I've always been a seeker like yourself. I've always been the outcast. And I believe that when we're born, um, there's a certain amount of us that are born with— we, we come into this world with issues, you know what I mean? Whether we pick them up from our past life, which I realized today, yep, I've carried on doing what I was doing every 500— I think this is my millionth time round. Um, So when we come in with lots of problems, for example, my eldest daughter was really overdue when she was born. She was dragged out by forceps. It was a horrendous labor, a horrendous pregnancy. She ended up really poorly. But she is such a sensitive person, as opposed to my second daughter, a completely different situation. I had a bit more money. I was able to take my maternity leave, I was able to relax, and she was such a happy baby. And she is just so whatever, you know, you tell her off, right, go to your room, that's it, and she'd be like, whatever. Nothing bothers her. So for those of us that are born into this world, like literally chucked in it, um, you'll find that we are more highly sensitive because It's a case of constantly being tested, and how many times do you have to get up? So when you look back on your journey, you have to understand that every single chapter that has happened, everything is supposed to be the way it is. We go back to that abuse and everything else that's happened.

That's when I realized through every single chapter of my life, that's where liberate your soul came about. It actually came about when I took an oath of. Silence. I took an oath of silence for a whole year. So there were certain times of the day I could speak because I couldn't go off to Tibet and sit in a cave. That's what I really wanted to do. And, or go and just go to the desert with just a cloak on and go and find somewhere to sit in absolute silence. But unfortunately, I couldn't do that. So I thought, well, how can I take some kind of monastic vows for myself. And didn't realize how powerful that I was sending this up to the universe. I had at that point, I knew I had something. I knew I was a psychic medium and I was going through all that egotistic, look at me, look what I can do. No one can do this, only me. So when I was going through that and then they just literally shut me down. And so I couldn't communicate and I And they just said meditate, meditate every day. And it was like a constant ticking, meditate, meditate, meditate, meditate, all day, every day. So I decided to take— I researched the sukhas from India, the yogis, the traditional yogis. And then I, um, got hold of some videos from YouTube which really weirdly are not even there. So I was obviously supposed to see them because I haven't been able to find them since, about how they do do their transcending meditation in the caves. And I just amalgamated it all together and started doing yoga, started working on my chakras, started looking at breathwork, started looking at how Jesus lived, how Shakti and Shavi, all of these different kinds of stories, Ram and Rama, and all of these different things happened in our time, even though we say they're not true, or the media and sort of the linear lot say, oh, they're just books, they're stories. But actually, when you read them, they still happen today. And so this is where it all came from. And so I had to still do the school run because I had the kids, but spirit left me with no energy. So all I could do was rest. And that is literally what I did. People would say, oh, you were depressed. That's what we'd call it. You were clinically depressed.

depressed and you were in a really, really bad way.

I wasn't, because the things that I learned for that whole year was phenomenal, absolutely phenomenal. And if you ask Spirit every day, okay Spirit, what am I doing today? Or okay God, what am I doing today? If you've got your prayers or your prayer time, or you take your meditation practice or whatever, it's always thank you and what do you want from me today? What do I do today? And if they say rest, They mean rest, because the rest of your day will be absolute rubbish.

Absolutely, absolutely. I'm so glad you're— I'm actually glad you're repeating the word rest, because most women, it's probably going to go over their heads. So I'm glad that they're hearing it more than once right now on this podcast, because, um, you know, like we said, the Superwoman syndrome— all we know is to keep going, keep going, keep going. And so I definitely will agree with that. I feel like my last maybe from December to February, December 2020 to, you know, February 2021, was pretty much that rest phase for me. That was a phase for me where, um, I was closing out the clients that no longer serve me to open and receive the clients that will, that I can, you know, serve. And so in that time, there was a lot of rest. There were some days where, like, like you said, I would just ask God, it's like, okay, what is on my agenda today? What do you want me to do today? And it's literally like, if I can't get out the bed, I'm not getting out the bed. Um, so that's that. And but what was interesting thing for me is that even though, sure, from the outside realm I would label it depression, anxiety, tiredness, technically I was never not doing anything. I was always reading, I was always learning, I was always discovering something about my personality. So it was never, never time wasted, not laziness. So that's definitely important.

Absolutely, absolutely. And everything will always appear, so the books you read would have served you for that time. And Words and conversations and things that you hear. And you know what? It's also the way we should be living as human beings, which is another part of what I teach. We are taught a lot. I see it all the time. You know, I want to buy this house. Like the manifesting. Don't even get me started with that. Every time you look at money manifesting, all they want to talk about is car, house.

I want to travel.

Materialistic. Mm-hmm.

Do you know what I mean? All of it. It's not about what can I do to lose some weight because I know that I'm unhealthy, or I've lost all my weight, but what can I do to make sure that I don't go down that, that road again? And nobody— there's probably only 5%, I would honestly say, of people like ourselves that have gone down that absolute solitary confinement, because in some way you would have done it yourself, that can say, I know how to ask. I even still forget today how to ask. I've forgotten. And then I heard, just ask. And I was like, yeah, okay, can you take this negative emotion away from me, please?

I don't need it. It does—

it's not serving me. And straight away, like that.

Wow.

So, but people don't want to ask. And I hear— I get that all the time. And then when they want to ask, they don't expect to pay. So then you've got this— you see this really bad relationship. Respect for another human being and then respect for— no, not having respect for money, which is equally an energy. So you're like, wow, okay, yeah, I don't want to serve you anyway, so that's fine.

But yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's definitely— these are all definitely great topics and amazing topics. And I feel like this is definitely the great Segue into where can people find out more about you on social media and how can they join your program?

Okay, so the program is released on the 1st of March where you can join the free workshop. So the 1st of March is on Facebook and it is the 1st till the 9th of March. The workshop runs as a live teaching every single day and then it gives you an inkling in how I work How to sign up for the program, and if really it's for you, because there is so much to learn. It goes throughout the whole year, and it's a commitment for people as well. So I thought I'd do the workshop for free, let people dabble in, let people get involved, see what it's about, because it can be quite scary. So you can find me on Facebook at Liberate Your Soul, which is S-O-L, and IG is Vanessa DeSalvo 26. And all the links are in my bio, and you'll find me.

It's cool.

Or you, you can email me.

And, uh, what is your email? We'll put it all in the show notes, but just in case there are those who love to listen and learn, what's your email?

So my email is vanessavassallo26@gmail.com. And if you've got any questions from the podcast and any way I can help people any further, answer any questions, that's great. I do all live videos as well on a Tuesday, a Thursday, There's loads going on that I, I tend to do. So yeah, it's always great to see people's faces.

Perfect. So, and then also your workshop is, it's going to be a monthly thing, right? So even in April, even in May, people—

Yep.

So the workshop is released every 6 weeks. So we've got the first intake on the 1st of March, and then we work with those people, and then the next release is in, in the next 6 weeks. And I'm led by spirit. So it's what spirit and God want me to teach. So it won't necessarily be the same all the time.

Yeah.

Exactly. I love that. Well, this has been amazing. I think I do want to end with one fun way that I've always kind of asked all podcast guests. And so what do you want your legacy to be? Wow.

My legacy, I want to leave Liberate Your Soul as a nonprofit charity, as well as being as, as big with my talks and my teachings to be left like all other spiritual teachings have been left. And a go-to book, Liberate Your Soul, to be the whole manual that you can reach to at any point. And the charity to be able to protect young girls and boys from gang violence, where they can have a number that they can call and they can go to wherever they are in the area to a safe house. So that's where the legacy's going.

I love that. Very important, very important. And then, um, what is the first place you want to travel to as soon as you can travel?

Wow, so it's gonna have to be Hawaii for me.

Why that?

Hawaii is one of the most spiritual places. I am being called to New Zealand, and I am desperate to go and, and go and see certain places in India. But at the moment, spirit are calling me to Hawaii, so I'm transcending myself there at night. So I'm getting a feeling of certain places I want to go to, but definitely go hiking in Hawaii.

Definitely.

I love it. I love it. And I'm sure like where you are right now, it's piles and piles of snow. So you're like, I'm mentally in Hawaii. I'm not in this cold weather.

Absolutely.

Well, I love it, Vanessa. Thank you so much for being a guest on the Sea Life Giving Podcast.

Take care.

Goodbye.

Be sure to subscribe, follow, and download so you don't miss the next episode. If you want to learn more, you can visit zaakirahnayyar.com. That's Z-A-A-K-I-R-A-H-N-A-Y-Y-A-R.com.