Mental Health Monday | imposter syndrome, Comparison and the Fear Of Missing Out

Hello. If this is your first time seeing me, my name is Zaakirah. I am a creative strategist, a cancer survivor, a professional photographer, and a mental health enthusiast. So I am live today to talk about mental health. I've started this thing, this kind of this idea that came to me where I would just go live on Mondays. Also being a certified social media marketer for almost the past 10 years, I'm very in tune to what's new and what's going on on social media, whether I have to tell my clients or whether just to continue to educate prospective clients. So I help entrepreneurs to grow their businesses online, to look good online, and then also grow their fan base Off the— off of social media. So I'm going live on Mondays to also talk about mental health, to kind of have a topic to talk about. Um, it seems to be ever since I released my book, Seeing Life Through a Different Lens, okay, a cancer survivor's guide on seeing life more positively, um, I've become an advocate. But not just, you know, talking about my cancer, which is called retinoblastoma. It's a rare childhood eye cancer. And if it wasn't for my mom and I coming together and basically writing a book together about the cancer. It also opened the doors for really just prioritizing mental health because a lot of the things that we talked about in the book were really how we made it. So I wanted to talk today about your unique vision, your unique timeline. So I think a lot of things, a lot Yeah. And I think a lot of what happens with mental health is sometimes us as creators, us as entrepreneurs, we're into our own thoughts a lot. We're always trying to figure out what new thing we should be doing, how we can improve, how can we improve someone else's life, right? But then we get so caught up in that that we kind of neglect our own selves. And with doing that, with also social media, social media is so easy for you to see someone that either you know or you don't know or you know through 6 degrees of separation, and they're doing so well, or quote unquote so well. And so then you start to get FOMO, fear of missing out, or you start to wonder, you know, why you were not able to do XYZ because you feel like you should be there. They're doing what you, you know, want to be doing, right? And so then you feel yourself comparing yourself. So I kinda wanna talk about that today. Now here's the thing, I've been doing what I've been doing for 10 years, right? I've been a professional photographer for 10 years first. A lot of people know me as a photographer first. But along the way, I've always been an avid researcher, so I then was able to become certified in social media. So helping nonprofits, small businesses, solopreneurs to grow their brand. So time goes by, life happens, you fall off track, and then you have to find your way back. Find your way back to yourself, your way back to, uh, getting back to who you know you are and what you're really good at, because you are an expert at what you do, right? So then what happened during that time frame where it's like you have to find yourself again, you have to find the, uh, Zaakirah again, you have to find who you are, right? So what do you do along those— along those lines? What do you do during those difficult times? So for me, I think I've always been very self-reflective, maybe even too self-reflective to the point where I'm just, you know, I have to write down my thoughts. Otherwise, I'll be too deep into my thoughts. I'll zone out, you know, and so I got to write down my thoughts, right? And so also, I think the other thing that a lot of women, especially entrepreneurs, that we have to remember is that it's okay to rest. It is okay to rest. And I'll be honest, I did not understand the word relax for a very long time. Yeah. It wasn't until I think I started having burnout of my own, and then I'm like, okay, relax means basically do nothing. And if do nothing, it sounds so hard for you to do, especially if it just means lay down, just only listen to music, lay down, only listen to a podcast, sit at the beach, sit on your patio, go hide out at your family member's house and just do nothing. do that, right? And it's okay because no matter what you're working on in your business, it's always going to be there, especially if you are in that phase where you're still trying to automate, still trying to scale. Your business is always going to be there. There's always going to be something for you to do. So why not relax, right? So for me, I know that 2020, the end of 2020 was that for me. It was that way to actually learn how to relax. And just like the quote says, until you If you don't relax on your own, your body will tell you. Your life will tell you when it's time for you to relax. So there were times where I literally just, I had zero clients, zero clients at all. So what did that mean? Well, I got time to sleep in today, or I have time to binge watch something today, whatever it is you need to do to relax, right? But see, for me, my definition of relaxation is always involving personal development. Right. So personal development can be defined as simply listening to a podcast that would educate you on ways to strengthen your mindset, to not be affected so much by imposter syndrome, ways to— maybe not necessarily with a therapist, but ways to heal from your own childhood traumas. We all have them. We all have them. They just look different to everyone else. Right? And they end up showing up in your relationships, both platonic, romantic, business relationships. They end up showing up in one way or another, right? That's why there's so many amazing podcasts out there like the See Life Different podcast that can help you to kind of listen to something for about an hour and really work on yourself without doing anything, right? So another thing that I do, another way that I kind of Relax. It's also, for me as a creative, movies, watching movies is mindless for me. Sometimes I end up watching movies or movies watch me, right? They end up picking me. I like to say movies always pick me because I never know what to watch. I think I like to do it that way of basically, I'm just gonna— I want to watch a movie today. What movie are you gonna watch? I don't know. I'm gonna browse Netflix. I'm gonna browse Amazon. I'm gonna browse Hulu and find something. Normally when I find something, there's always something that comes out of it, either an aha moment about my own childhood, an aha moment of some kind of creative project that I once started that I wanted to continue. You know, something always comes out of just finding something to basically relax, right? Hi Stephanie, great to see you too. Thank you so much for watching, and if any of this video is resonating with you, please be sure to share. If any of this resonates with you, or you know of any woman who could use these relaxation tips, any tips on how not to compare yourself to anyone else's journey, please do share. All right, so what else do I do? So music is a huge thing for me. Not only do I do music for work, you know, because part-time I help other artists to really grow their brands and take their music to another level. But I also love listening to music. Honestly, my go-to is '90s R&B and 2000s pop. That's my go-to. That's my nostalgia moment. That— because I am a— I'm a millennial and I'm a '90s baby. So any chance that I can just listen to, you know, those love songs that were actually about love or the boy bands that actually, you know, changed the trajectory of music, you know, I love going back. in there. Let's see what else. And then just do whatever you need to do to work on yourself entrepreneur-wise, right? So for me, I am a huge fan of ebooks. So I have books. I think the thing also that sets me apart of being a writer is that I loved reading growing up. I used to always love reading. Hi, Lashana. Thank you for watching. So I loved reading, and so it's kind of like a no-brainer that I became an author of my own book. But I still do love reading. But I've always gone from whatever, wherever I am in that phase of my life, I tend to read or buy or rent, you know, if it's on Kindle, those type of books. So, you know, before I got married, I was definitely reading a lot of relationship books. Um, even after I was no longer married, I would focus on business books, right? So wherever I am in life— oh, before I was studying photography, I was definitely studying a lot of photography books, right? So wherever I am in life, I am always reading. And the good thing about also with you being an entrepreneur, no matter what you read, that kind of helps you to have your price to go up because your personal development, your knowledge, your skill set is going up as you learn. As you learn and work with other people, your knowledge is going up, your worth is going up, your value growing up. Okay? So to work with that, I will relax by watching mindless movies. I will relax by listening to mindless music. I will relax by reading or listening to books. They may seem mindless, but you always tend to take away something from it, and those are the best, easiest ways to work on your personal development. Now, why am I sharing these tips? I'm sharing these tips because us women still tend to feel like we need to always stay on the move. We need to always stay working. We need to get more clients because the lady that we admire is getting published elsewhere, is getting featured in articles, or it had reached a certain financial goal that you're aiming to get at. And so then you kind of bow yourself into a little shell and you start to compare yourself. Analysis paralysis, imposter syndrome, comparison syndrome, the whole bit. Am I right? Right? And then what happened? What good did that do? Right? So then for me, I think the easiest way that I was even able to get out of that, because once again, social media would definitely suck you into that, is that I just know that, okay, what's for me is for me. My favorite song for a very long time was If It's Meant to Be, It Will Be by Florida Georgia Line. Right? So Songs like that, it's a great reminder of like, you know what, okay, congratulations to her. She's about to be a speaker at a conference. That's great. My time will come, right? Not I shoulda, woulda, coulda, or I wish. Like, my time will come. You gotta, you know, literally believe in whatever it is that you want to accomplish and that you want to share, right? Because your vision is uniquely your vision. Your vision is basically what came to you. If you know that you were meant to be a public speaker, if you know you're meant to be a public photographer, if you know you're meant to be an entrepreneur that helps other women to step outside of their comfort zone, if you— whatever you know that you're meant to be, get rid of all those negative thoughts that have ever come to your mind from those that are close to you and stick to what you know and what you believe. Your vision was unique to you. That's why you're encountering people that don't get it. Your vision was unique to you. That's why if someone's telling you that you need to be working XYZ job, that's why you go to work because you have to. You go to work because you got bills to pay. You go to work because you got kids to feed. But if it was up to you, if you know that you are visionary, you know that your end goal is always to be off the grid. Your end goal is always to be only working remotely. Your end goal is always to be continuously traveling. So you know what you want and stick to that, all right? Don't let anyone else's journey distract you from that. Don't let anyone else who— I mean, even if they love you, they got the best for you, sometimes they don't know what your vision that was given to you. And sometimes these visions are so big that you can't even articulate it in a way that they would understand. So I just say, you know, continue. Working on yourself, working on your personal development, and your purpose, your passion, what you enjoy doing, what you're meant to do will align. It takes time, but it will all align, right? So that was that. That was that. I think that's what I really wanted to share. Ways for you to avoid comparison syndrome, what creative outlets to utilize if you feel like you're in a creative rut. Or you feel like you're about to enter a depressive or anxiety or panic episode, or if you see someone that you admire that and you find it hard to be happy for them. Those are my tips. So with that being said, I always love sharing my accomplishments because I wouldn't— I would not have gotten here alone if it wasn't for everyone who's watching. And if it wasn't for everyone who's been following, so I definitely want to thank you before it does get bigger. But I was a special guest on the Sue Blythe Education Podcast. This is a photographer podcast. And for me, Sue Blythe is huge because growing up, I've always loved to admire the work of other photographers that look like me, right? Because I felt like there was not that many of us. So when I find— when I get to meet other photographers that look like me, I love being able to meet them. Like, there's one photographer, Matthew Jordan Smith, I actually got to meet him, right, back when photography conferences were bigger and they were in person. I actually got to meet him. I got, on a separate occasion, I got one of his photography books autographed, right? So I love to be able to not only support photographers that I admire, but also get support from photographers that I admire, right? So then another photographer that I admire, who also happens to be a woman of faith, a Muslim woman just like me, that also was featured on the Sue Bryce Education Podcast. Now what happened? I didn't get jealous. I definitely was super happy for her accomplishment. But guess what? I was like, hmm, how can I do the same thing? I know that I'm meant to be on more podcasts. How can I continue to get myself out there? Even though it's scary, even though it's challenging, how can I continue to get myself out there? So I submitted to be on the Suboxone Education Podcast, and it has gone live. It is now live. So I am a guest on episode 84. It's called How Photography Saved Zaakirah's Life. And we talk more about that. We talk more about how I've been a cancer survivor. And not only is it the fact that a camera, the photograph that my mother took of me, was able to detect the eye cancer. We also then talked about how when I was 5 years old, I was introduced to a photograph— sorry, photography— through the Kodak Polaroid camera and how it just— I've been blessed to know what my unique vision is and to stick with it. So definitely be sure to take a listen to the Sue Bice Education Podcast. Or, um, I'm sure it's gonna show up pretty high on SEO on Google. So if you look for any podcast, um, Google Podcasts, I think there's a section now where you can look up podcasts on your favorite podcast, um, platform, whether that's Spotify or Apple, and look for my name, Zaakirah, and definitely take a listen. And also, once you're finished with that, definitely support an independent author by purchasing the book, Seeing Life Through a Different Lens of Cancer Survivors. A positive guide on how to live life when it gets difficult, but also so you can learn more about cancer survivor, being a childhood eye cancer survivor, and continue to spread the word and educate others. Because thank goodness technology has improved now that the survival rate is probably about 99%. But back when I was first diagnosed in the mid-early '90s, The survival rate past age of 5 was very slim. So thank you for watching, and I will see you again soon. Most likely, I'll try to keep this going every Monday. So if you've learned anything from this video, leave a comment. If you feel like you know someone who would resonate, an entrepreneur who would resonate from this, definitely be sure to share it. Be sure to save this video if you want to watch it for inspiration. And I will see you all very soon. Thank you for watching. Oh wait, let me see if I can— the link, how to get my book. Um, you can go to, um, let me see if I can show it real quick. You can go to zaakirah.com and visit my website, or go to the link in my bio. zaakirah.com is how you can get the book. Um, and then my podcast, you can listen to the See Life Different podcast, uh, where I talk to other, um, Black female entrepreneurs on how they have survived their life so far, whether it is through their business if they are entrepreneurs or they're still juggling 9-to-5s. Or you'll also hear from other creators and other female photographers as well. So definitely be sure to check that out, and thank you so much for watching.