Milestone Podcast Download Celebration Plus Discovering Your Purpose with Iesha Yushawn Bell

Welcome, welcome to another episode of the See Life Different podcast. As you can see from behind us, we are celebrating. If you are watching us on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or anywhere else on social media, thank you. If you are listening to the audio version, thank you. My name is Zaakirah. I am the host of the See Life Different podcast. I am a brand strategist, And a photographer and a cancer survivor and a storyteller. And I encourage women, minority women, and millennial women to step outside of their comfort zone and boldly tell their stories. So today's episode is going to be 3 different things going on. We got 3 different things going on. So the first thing, we are— if not at the time of you listening to this episode, then Definitely now we are at 10,000 downloads. 10,000 downloads. That is an amazing number, an amazing feat, and not an easy feat to achieve, especially for podcasters. So virtual, virtual, virtual round of applause for you. Thank you for keeping the podcast going for 3 years, and it's been an amazing journey. So the book— sorry, the podcast started as a way to market the book. And there's a book called Seeing Life Through a Different Lens, Seeing Life Through a Different Lens: A Cancer Survivor's Memoir on Overcoming Adversity with Resilience. And it started out as a way to kind of market the book, which is actually my mom and I's book. It's our memoir where we talk about growing up as a cancer survivor, a cancer survivor that has dealt with many variations of adversity and overcame it with resilience. And then as the seasons went on where, you know, the book came out, so talk about the book, but then it kind of became a way to kind of introduce the world to my world, introduce the world to the people that I love the most and that love me back, and also other women that are entrepreneurs, creatives, travelers, brand strategists as well. So It's been an amazing journey with nothing but empowerment and just those deep conversations when you just like, you know, why am I this way? Or what, what's really, really going on? You have 80+ episodes to search for and look for and definitely continue to stream the podcast so that we can make it to the next milestone, the next milestone of 100,000 downloads. And who knows, we'll finally be back to in-person events, and who knows what will come out of it. But thank you for supporting us thus far. And so far, what we're going to do is, you know, create a community out of this, right? Wouldn't you want to kind of interact with the speakers? Wouldn't you want to kind of have someone to talk to when it comes to your small business, when it comes to just growing and being? Exactly. Like who you need to be to fully succeed and walk into your fullest self, why not? That's why we're going to have a community, focused community where you are a woman, a woman of color, you are a side hustler, you are a full-time entrepreneur, and you just want to find your tribe, your like-minded tribe of women who literally uplift each other to be the best version of themselves in their business. So definitely check that out. And if you just want to start small, you're completely new to me, and I completely get it. Thank you for watching. And thank you for— so you can start with, um, after you've listened to a couple of podcast episodes where the excerpt of the book, or you get to meet my mom or my dad or other— my big sister. You can start there. Start with family, right? And go from there and check out the book to see seeing life through a different lens is available as an ebook, paperback, and audiobook as well. So this episode is also being recorded on what I have dubbed since the start of the pandemic Love Zakira Day. Love Zakira. So this is I was previously married. There's a whole episode on that as well. Previously married to a West African and. We chose the date July 16th, and although that date is no longer a day of a wedding celebration, it is now the day of a celebration of self. So since the pandemic, it's been a great way to kind of bring together sisterhood, right? Come together online since we can't always do it in person. And so we just love on each other. compliment each other, acknowledge each other, appreciate each other. And so this time I kind of wanted to do, do something a little different and do it a little well. So, uh, it's still going to be about sisterhood. So if you are a sister girl and you're listening or you're watching, definitely be sure to share this video because, uh, share this video because it's gonna be a good one. It's gonna— Now speak a good one. I am— I'm ready to get right into this episode. This episode is gonna be so, so, so good. And as you can tell from the name of this episode, we have a special, special, special guest. And we have a special guest by the name of, um, Aisha Yushawn Bell, whose personal brand is Travel Foodie Beauty. So she is a Mom of 5. She is a sister of 6. She is a grandmama, although that's not the name she goes by. She's a grandmama of one beautiful, fun, vibration little boy. And she too is a 40-something-year-old woman from Arkansas, and she is full of energy and full of love and full of life. And it's her goal to empower Generation X women worldwide. She to literally be ready to walk into that next chapter of their life. The 40s and the 60s and the 50s, there's like that midlife crisis where you're like, okay, well, I've made it to the halfway mark. Now what? Right? Well, Yushon knows exactly how you feel. She's here to truly empower you to step outside of your comfort zone. She's been living in Dallas for a time as originally a loctician for the stars and a cosmetologist. Turned, you know, even if, you know, you can think about your own hair appointments where you've been to, uh, and they're your therapist, right? So she's naturally that people and that one that you want to and talk to and go to for advice. And that's exactly what this conversation is going to be about. So without further ado, we're going to bring in Miss Y'Shaun Bell. Hey!

I love it.

You're so amazing. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Congratulations on 10K.

Thank you.

That's so amazing. Yay! I was just listening to you. I was like, oh my gosh, she's so powerful. I'm so glad I get to share spaces with you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. And that's exactly what we're gonna do. We're gonna share space. We're coming together and Even if you're not watching live, you're watching the replay, share love, you know, share love. Because even on the podcast episode, this is the episode you definitely want to leave a review. So if you haven't left a podcast review yet, definitely leave a review. And the love that you share is not just for me, although I would love to receive it. I'd love to know that you love what you hear and see. But it's really for all the women out there who Have birthdays in July, who have been divorced, who have been through grief, who have been through adversity. So that's what we're gonna do today. We're gonna love on each other.

Yes. Because we need it. Yes, we do.

Always. Always. Yes. Yes. So actually, let's start, start from the beginning. I got a few questions. I got my phone, you know, up here. So, who are you, Shawn?

Of course, you, Shawn. Um, I am a purpose coach where I just get love and joy out of coaching Gen X women to get to their next level in life, uh, through their divine purpose. I mean, we good at so many things, but we're not fulfilled. So I talk to women from that space.

Got it. Yes, I definitely hear the word fulfilled. So maybe tell me more about that. What was the moment you knew that you were unfulfilled?

I knew that all my life, basically. But I come from a small town, country town, and just a space where it was always better to be seen and not heard. So I was kind of that, that kid that was brutally— And my mom didn't know what to do with me. Like, she would say X and I would say Z. And she knew that I was good at a whole bunch of things. So she kind of chose what she felt was best for me through her eyes and what she always wanted to do. I just had the tenacity to do it. But a kid like that, you really don't know what to do with. So, you know, I learned— Around the age of 11 that I'm doing a lot of stuff that I don't want to do. I'm good at it, but I don't like doing it. And I never lost that zeal for dreaming, so it always stayed like dear to me and near to my heart. I just learned how not to share it and look good doing it.

Got that. I love that. And I love that you knew at such a young age and that you had the tenacity to do it. Because often what happens is most women will say, I want to be an acrobat dancer.

Yeah.

And, you know, mom, dad, brother, sister look at you like, what? And then you're like, okay, maybe not. And then you hold that off until you're in your 40s. So yeah, I thank you for not stopping and being tenacious as well. And I kind of feel like I want to rewind a little bit because I hear some questions coming in and y'all are like, how do you know this though? Y'all are actually in person. Like, even looking at this video, like, y'all are vibing in person. How do you know this though? How do I know you, Deshawn?

The amazing thing, um, or how you know me is we met through this form called the Landmark Form, and we both chose each other, which is so crazy. So it's very, very, very important, um, to go off your intuitions or that function or that oomph or something your heart You learn how, um, and to kind of ignore that voice. But it was crazy because neither one of us did that.

We—

I didn't know. I knew I was going to be attached to you, uh, didn't know how. And you just picked me and you was bold about it. I said that, but I did share, that is so crazy because I chose you too. We've been inseparable.

Literally.

I love that.

Yeah, and so basically the, um, the being inseparable is also what kind of had us kind of being bold, right? When you're— when we're both tenacious women who have just been driven and multi-passionately creative, it's like we see something in each other. And so I kind of want to give maybe a little bit more context because I think For those of you who are listening and are watching, some of you may have been following my journey as I become a public speaker. So you probably may have heard or seen the backstory of I was supposed to be away for the summer. I was supposed to be traveling internationally again, become an international photographer and back to kind of educate on how to build their brand, like the holistic and organic way, because I don't know what What's going on now with this algorithm change? But anyway, I, you know, with doing Forum, you actually have buddies in your program because it's personal development, it's self-development. And although both of us came into the program for different reasons, it's just, you know, with the power of Zoom, you still connect with people and you can take a look and see like, hmm, there's so-and-so, there's so-and-so. I see someone and I'm like, oh, Who's this person, right? And so for me, having had the background as a photographer, I'm naturally a researcher. I naturally gravitate toward good people, good souls. It was the same thing, even on Zoom. I was just like, something about this girl. Let me just see what's going on. And so at one point in the Landmark Forum, you have coaches or course supervisors that can support you on your personal and professional development journey. I told my co-supervisor, hey, can you connect me with Deshawn? He's like, I don't know if I'm allowed to do that. Can you just connect me with Deshawn, please? Okay, give me one second. And like maybe 24 hours later, we got each other's contact information and ended up being each other's buddies in the Landmark Fund program. And now I think fast forward to, you know, we've been on Zoom all this time as we complete, you know, our homework assignments in our classrooms. And then it just so happened to work out that I am Back in Dallas, Texas with her, literally in her face.

Literally.

Yeah, like speaking of acknowledging and appreciating and showing love for shit to her, thank you, Yushon, just kind of seeing me fully and taking me in and just knowing what you know, right?

Yeah.

Because you know what you know, and not even because you're my mom, your sister, your wife, I would say, soon we do it again.

I know you're gonna do it again.

But you just see me for me, and that's one thing that you've held on to about you, and I appreciate that because it's rare to have genuine sisterhood out here. And, and we got that, and I'm blessed to have you. Oh, thank you.

Yeah, she just makes life so much rewarding for me. And I really enjoy her for that. And I really acknowledge you for that as well. It's like, oh my God, you know how you want a doll or something, or— But you kind of afraid to ask for it. And it's like, wow. Because both of us was bold, for one, intentional. And it was like, oh my God, this is like so rewarding. It's almost like having a little sister because I'm the oldest. And I have many sisters, but, you know, we kind of do different things and want the sister— we don't know how to take the sister hat off. And you've given me such a pleasure in being a sister or a bigger sister. Just be me authentically, um, and you receive it. And I receive you. And then we have respect and joy, like good things attached to it. We know about the inauthentic kind of what we kind of say about our sisters, but you gave me like that safe space to just be and come out from just who I am and just be purely love and not feel like I'm being, you know, left all alone. Because we tend to do that and we keep it to ourselves inauthentically. So you gave me like so much comfort around just being who I am and my heartbeat. So I acknowledge you.

Thank you. Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And if you ain't got a sister like that, you are not alone. You will find one, you will have one. We— that's what the Focus Community Group is as well. So definitely follow all of us on social media at Focus Media Group and Yes, here's to sisterhood. So I want to continue the conversation, and before I do that, I want to make an honorable mention that this podcast is being recorded in the month of July, and it is Minority Mental Health Month. And I want to give a shout out to some Black girl magic at the New Definition Counseling, nothing but women of African descent whose goal is really to help our community to heal, right? And they aim to empower individuals to live their most authentic life by providing comprehensive multicultural counseling and psychological services grounded in cultural humility. They challenge clients to embrace a lifestyle of resilience, resistance, and authenticity. And their counseling, consultation, and psychological services are designed to help you live more authentically and promote well-being. So if you are in the Texas— state of Texas, you can visit newdefinitioncounseling.com to meet the therapist. If you are not in the state of Texas, they are also affiliated with other low-cost programs such as Open Path Collective and/or Therapy for Black Girls. So July is Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. Both of us are huge advocates of And we want you to choose you. newdefinitioncounseling.com. All right, so now I want to get back to you, Ushawn. And so, okay, you're from Arkansas, you mentioned that, but how and when did you get to Dallas?

So, um, like you, I travel all the time. Uh, actually travel— didn't know that travel was actually therapy for someone that grieves. So what happened for me is I was grieving. Uh, nobody really knew it. So all they knew was I travel and I travel a lot, and to them it was too much. Uh, so I came here to visit some family. Um, often when I visit somewhere, I'm trying to see if there's somewhere where I want to move to or stay just a little while longer or go visit a whole lot.

Mm-hmm.

So in, um, 2000, I came to visit family, fell in love, and I knew for me to get my mom's blessing, I had to start talking to her. So I talked to her. She never gave me her blessing. The day she gave me her blessing, I started packing and I was gone in a month. So 1999— No, not 1999. In, um, 2001.

Okay.

December 2001, I started packing to begin. So everybody thought I was playing. And in 2002, I was gone. January 29th, 2002, I was in Texas, moved within a month. Made a split decision. So, well, I was always preparing, so I'm good at that. Um, so I made that, that just, hey, Mom, She told me everything ugly about moving, but I just made that decision and I just kind of coached her through it, which is what I naturally do. And she finally said that she recognized me and knew me for who I was and is. So the type of person that I am, I can't be in a box or in a small town like that.

And she told me—

Yeah, girl.

Yeah, so 20 years, 20 years.

A lot has happened in 20 years. Yeah.

Now speaking of, what were you starting to say about 1999? What was so powerful about the year 1999?

Oh, that's actually when Keavy was born.

Who's Keavy?

Keavion. So Keavion is number 2, second oldest child.

Yeah, and by the way, I've met all of them.

I'm just, I'm just, you know, trying to get her to talk to y'all.

Yeah, so that's number 2. He's the, the child that's like me, like to live out loud, be colorful, and just live his best life, and nobody can stop him.

Yeah.

Yeah, and you know, I'm kind of coaching him. It's a difference between feeling like somebody's stopping you and somebody coaching you to be the best version of you that you know yourself to be. So now you know me as your mom. So, or your mother. So your job now is to coach me through how to teach and raise in a way that you'll understand and that you enjoy and like, because you like to have fun. Moms pointing their finger at those type of kids just doesn't work.

Yeah.

And it took for me to have him, and it took him for me to learn that, just being a mom.

Got that, got that. So what about your, your journey? So I mean, before you were a mom, you were Yashawn. So who was Yashawn before you became a mom?

So Yashawn before I became a mom, um, anything artistic, creative, and just in that space— music, dance, the arts— that's who I was. I tried to go do those things, and I kind of Culture around food because of the things that me and my grandmother shared a lot. So I liked hanging around the older people because people my age was just too immature for me.

Mm-hmm.

And so I learned a lot, um, got wise and a lot of knowledge and wisdom way before my time, before I was actually ready. I took it as a hindrance at first. Uh, but that's, that's what shaped me to who I am and who you see before you and who you got to meet, because that's just how my grandmother was. And we just was the best of friends. I have a best friend also. Um, we met in the first grade and we've been inseparable ever since. We cannot be in the same city and state for too long. I'm like, girl, I gotta move away. We can't, we can't, but we're inseparable still. We get— we just get along well. But she's spoiled. She's like one of my kids, and I'm like— and she just want it because she want it. I don't even think she need that.

She just be—

she just spoiled.

Yeah.

So, you know, I have a best friend, longtime friend. Um, I actually— I'm a chameleon. I can mingle in groups, I can mingle by myself. It's really rewarding. When I do it by myself, because that's when I get a lot of downloads. Um, downloads, like very intuitive, like, oh, I feel like Source is talking to me.

Okay.

I'd be like, okay, I'm like, I hear you. I'm like, you're a computer?

I'm like, well, no, I feel like it sometimes. Yeah, because when it's better to be seen and not heard, yeah, that's what you become, a researcher. Uh, you just go find knowledge and wisdom because people can't really talk to you. So you have to go and get it and find it. You learn how to go find the information yourself because you need to have it.

Now speaking of, I feel like I want to circle back to the same self and professional development program that we went through, right? Like, that's exactly what it is. Yeah, I feel like maybe that's the both, the both how the both of us were like, this is what I need, right? But what would that— but maybe I should go first because mine was more recent. Like, mine, I did it last year online on Zoom. You know, for me, yeah, I was looking for that outlet. Um, someone saw me, heard me loud and clear, and was like, you should apply. And then I did. So I went in, you know, because I had been divorced at the start of the pandemic. I was married for 5 years. You know, there were just so many things I was learning about myself. So I went in, you know, thinking, okay, what would it look like if I chose not to get married again? What would that look like? But then, you know, once I'm realizing that I could just make my choice, or that I could choose the type of man that I want, or that I could choose to be a creator that travels, or I could choose to have that out there, right?

Mm-hmm.

So that's the peace of mind that I gained. I'm like, you know what? Yeah, I would like to go. I'm inquisitive. I'm way beyond my years. And I was easily misunderstood, especially with— I got like so many different multifacets about me. Thank you for purchasing the book as well, if you know this. But yeah, so I got, you know, out of that peace of mind and that community and that outlet. You know, yeah. So what about you?

When did you do it?

So I did the Landmark Forum in 2018. Uh, to be honest, I missed my first one because I had a schedule, um, and I just wasn't gonna miss that trip because I know that it was—

Where did you go?

Uh, I think I took a cruise.

To where?

Um, Mexico.

Which part?

Um, Cancun. The other C, Cosmo.

Cosmo. Okay, okay. I always forget.

You're not the only one.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Um, so yeah, um, and I missed it. So I was supposed to do it that August, ended up taking it in, um, in the winter. I remember it was cold. So the reason why I ended up going, because I was invited as well, through a friend that I met, and I actually met her through grief sharing at church. Very depressed, like very angry, full of resentment, just everything associated with pain or hurt is what I was feeling, and my body just started attacking me. So I knew the only way and the only time I can get relief from it was to travel. I felt Like safe, and I always had to travel with other women that, that I didn't necessarily enjoy the trip. Um, but I just had to get away.

Mm-hmm.

So one day in particular, my friend that I met at church through grief share, neither one of us was getting no relief, but everybody started ignoring us. So we never— we just really didn't have nobody to talk to because our grief was too Too heavy. Um, and so I knew how hurt she was, and she had took the journey before me when I met her. So I know how I was feeling and how my body was attacking me. So I was looking at how she was feeling, and I just said, it's just no way that I'm gonna be able to keep going or go on like this. And it— she's gone before me. And I'm feeling like it's just no way to live through this. Um, so we stuck it out. We stuck it out and just, we just went where people would allow us to come. Wasn't necessarily in tune with what we was going through. Um, my mother, Karen, she was, uh, love of the devil. We still attached. And you actually got to meet her.

Yeah.

Um, so we still inseparable just because of that experience. Um, but my friend— and it's like, like just all type of emotions that piling up on top of what we was already going through. And I would just be like, I don't know how we're gonna do this. That was just— we were so low in our spirit and just our being and who we are. You didn't see that part from what you know today.

We was like So y'all met her too? Met her too? Yeah, get that contact.

We don't know how we're gonna do it, but we just gonna get through it some kind of way. So my depression had got so bad, I stopped answering my phone, the door, and everything. Um, I was just sitting in the middle of my bed one day and just staring into space, and the voices— just voices started getting loud, and I was just, just drowning and sinking, and nobody even knew. People would come over, such as my kids and people that was in my life, and they just didn't know. I would tell them, but I don't think they heard me because they would just come and go as they please. Um, friend actually came over there, they just bamming on the door and snapped me out of what I was, whatever trance I was in. I seen her then. I was like, whatever you did, I'm going to do it. Wherever you went, I want to go. And she was just so compelled to share with me, and I just wouldn't even let her. I was like, I just want to do it. Please just tell me what it is. And she was like, well, let me share. And I didn't, I didn't want to. Um, so she ended up, but she didn't share on the level that we kind of share with now because I was just desperate and I needed to go. In the change in her. So that whole time Between when she did it in the summer and I did it in the winter, I got on her nerves. That became my new conversation and the context around our conversation. Do you think it's gonna work? She was like, yes, I promise you gonna get something. And, um, I would constantly wake up, she would wake up and call me, and she would be happy, and I'm still in my grief, and I'm like, you promised it's gonna work. Like, that, that just became— And, um, stuck with me throughout it. And I noticed she never changed or reversed. Prior to, that's all we knew, and we was on default. So after that, I'm like, I knew whatever that she had access to, I needed it. I needed to build on it. So that's going to the land offer.

I love that. I love that. And it's so ironic because I have a similar story. And really, everybody who does it has a similar story. It's the moment where they're sick and tired of being sick and tired. And they're like, yeah. And it was the same thing. Like, the woman, the sister who saw me, I remember clearly. It was like a Friday night, I think. Thursday or Friday night, at the end of the week. And I was living in Atlanta at the time, renting out the top part of a house. part of a friend's parents' house, which is, you know, another sisterhood looking out for me, right? And so I would— I knew that I'm like, okay, I can't stay in Atlanta much longer, you know. I came with the intention of, hey, let me get closer to family, but it's the height of the pandemic and everybody got everything else going on. I'm like, all right, but what's that going to look like? So she called me. We had already connected from a Facebook group, and then we got to WhatsApp, and then we got each other's numbers. So she called me out of the blue, and I was just like— Hey, you know, and she's like, hey, how are you? What's going on? And so, um, then she just started diving in and just like, you know what, I see you as such a powerful woman, and I know that we talked about and, and what we've been through with our divorces, but you are so powerful beyond measure, and I just want you to know that. And so I'm like, well, thank you. And so tell me about them at my forum, and then I started really just thinking Like, it sounded to me, you know, I've always been big on self-development. So I'm like, sounds like something I always would already know or think I know what I want to do, right? And so I just started asking her more questions. She's like, you know, just come on down to Zoom, you know, XYZ day, and we're going to have another introduction. Clear your mind, bring a pen and paper, bring exactly what we just talked about today about the good and the bad and so forth. And so I was, and I'm a Muslim faith woman. And there were other Muslim-affiliated women there. So that itself was exciting to me. I could see people that look like me, right? So that made the difference of I can honestly, vulnerably share what's really going on. And I felt seen and I felt heard. And so although I did tell her, she did, you know, give me the idea of how to do it. And what a weekend— I treated it like, you know, one of the weekend summits. Because I didn't even see that in person, but I did it on Zoom. So I'm like, okay, yeah, let me go get a hotel room for the weekend or something like that. But because I'm in just this tough financial space, but she was like, when do you want to, um, what day you want to choose? And I'm like, I don't know, I don't think I want to do that. And she's like, I'll pay for you.

Okay, yeah.

I mean, that itself was change already because here I am You know, I have siblings, but they're 7, 14, you know, years older than me. So technically I grew up by myself. I grew up by— I was raised by very powerful parents who raised me to just learn how to do things on my own. And so for me to guess, I kind of was like, you know how a cartoon character would step outside of your show like, girl, what you talking about? I felt like that the moment I said yes to her, you know, being willing to Okay, if this is what it takes, God, let me, let me in. I only want what you want for me. So here we are, um, a year later for me, and now, now the same thing, same thing to you as well. Because at first I was gonna be like, I'm gonna go overseas and just do me, and, and first just accepting help even again. So, you know, it's been life-changing for both of us. It has.

And one thing I don't believe I shared with you, although I had put my date in mind that I was going to save some money or get some money to go to Landmark Forum, I didn't have the money because when my son passed away, I was only getting like 50% of my pay. And, you know, that was like I was working for corporate America and that was my full-time job at the time. But I wasn't there long enough to get more. benefits around more money. So I was kind of left. And, um, that same year I clicked on a button through asking another coworker and she told me, oh girl, that ain't nothing. Just click on no to all of that. And what I clicked on no for was insurance for my son.

Wow.

Yeah. So we had to pay for his funeral out of pocket. Had great support with the funeral home. Um, the guy I was dating and my ex-husband and me, um, we was able to pull together and, and do that. So outside of that, the only money I had was, you know, the money that was raised for me. It wasn't raised, it was like, you know how people pass away, they give you money. So I had money through cards, but that's how I fed my kids during that time. And I noticed my Everything that I had on autopay, my money was depleted.

Like negative?

Yes. So I didn't know how I was going to pay my deposit to even go. And this lady, can't remember her name. I remember her face because we was going in, so I would see her all the time. I'm gonna have to ask what's her name. But she paid my deposit because she paid for it for her friend and her friend chose not to go. And she asked me, Yeah. She could pay the deposit for me. And I knew I had tapped into something or met some wonderful people because nobody has ever did that for me. So I was like, you know what, it's worth the try. That was so profound for me because I'm usually that for everybody. And somebody took the chance to stop what they was doing, see me and know that I needed this. And they put my deposit down. So I made sure I paid the rest. Yeah.

But, you know, like, you know, just like when we booked that flight, we ready for everything else, right? So it was like, as soon as we made that commitment to ourselves, everything else just happened. Like, I wasn't— I think maybe there was a moment that I went to that same friend. I'm like, I don't know if I'll be able to finish paying off. What happens if I don't finish paying off? And she was like, are you sure that's what you want? I'm like, no. So, yeah, like, you know. It really just like the power of trusting yourself. I think that's really what happened. And speaking of trusting yourself, um, we didn't talk too much about how you became a loctician. When did that— when did that happen?

So that happened— I came from like sew-ins and the braids because I still embraced my natural hair, but you know, the society really didn't embrace natural hair like That. And I knew I wanted dreads, um, had been looking for a long time, but a lot of people— I was looking at Sisterlocks, so nobody knew really what they were other than locs. And I'm like, no, that's something different.

That's, that's—

and everybody would say they can do it. So, you know, a cosmetologist, because I'm a licensed cosmetologist, I'm like, oh, well, send me your work or send me some pictures. I used to be in those groups inquiring, and sometimes Happy. Act like it's a whole secret society around, um, the process and the technique. And it really is because it's copyrighted. So you, you kind of want your legacy to still have integrity. So I understand that. But, you know, I became present to— it's some women out here that have access to this and they just treat, you know, other people because they do have questions like really bad. And I was one of those people. I'm a professional and been a professional, um, since 1999, but I had to go and get my license because the licensed people was telling it on me because they felt like I was taking their clients and wasn't licensed to do so. So that's what made me go ahead and get my, uh, license. But the locs is because I had this big beautiful hair at first and I was embracing it and liking it and becoming who I was. And my son passed away and my hair fell out. Um, and it was time— matter of fact, it was time for me to take the braids that I had down, down, uh, during the funeral, but it was just—

Too much.

No, it was too much. So, um, when I finally took them down, uh, I noticed that my hair started falling out, falling out like really bad because I couldn't eat. Like my whole But my body just, my whole being just switched. Like it was night, day, everything switched. Grow, don't grow. Like everything just cut off. Eat, don't eat.

Mm-hmm.

So whatever was positive to being, you know, a human and to live, my body cut off and did the complete opposite. So my hair suffered and I couldn't wear it. I couldn't, I wasn't confident with doing the sew-ins and pulling it out more. Um, or anything with tension. So I went to researching and I'm like, I have to find somebody that can do me some locs. I, I didn't even really know how to have a conversation because I really lost my mind. Um, so I was very inquisitive and was trying to find questions or find a question to ask around this thing that I seen, and I knew I wanted it. And how I was showing up or how I looked, it just I looked like Walking Dead.

Mm.

So I, I got, you know, I finally found a loctician. Um, she did the process around the perimeter of my hair because the ones that I didn't have any in the top because my hair had fell out that bad, and I was just getting locs on top of the little straggly hair that I had. Um, but it was— I had to go back to work. I'm ready to go back to work. I had just buried my son.

Mm-hmm.

Um, so I was forced to go back to work. So I had to make my appointments at 5 in the morning. It just wasn't— it just didn't work for me. And I had to be at work at 8, didn't have no more time to take off. So I would, you know, just grieve doing work. And I knew that I wasn't, according to the world, presentable. But I needed to get something done. So that's how I ended up getting my locs. And because of the time that I had to go, it didn't work for me. So I was like, I need to go do my own retight. And researching again, I learned how to do locs.

Mm-hmm.

So I said, this is something that I can make extra money on the side.

Mm-hmm.

Because I was like really suffering with, uh, finances around having to pay for So do you feel that your purpose was truly, truly rediscovered?

Um, I'm trying to figure out at what point do you—

let me ask you that.

At what point do you feel that your purpose was rediscovered?

Um, I've always rediscovered my purpose, but what I wanted to do The type of women that I was around, they just benefited from being a friend. But I was not fulfilled. So I knew that I actually did, but I got to be creative with doing hair. Because I used to be the— in my younger years, I used to be the one that could braid the napes in your head, and I like straight perfect lines around architecture that I wanted to do and elements, all of that, so I could put it in your head. So it was collapsing, but it wasn't collapsing.

Hair was literally art for you.

It was art. Yeah, it wasn't hair. It was like, for me, in like doing art, like a blank canvas, because I'm a makeup artist too, so I get to play with colors. But what was associated with that was broken women. And it was broken women that learned how to look good going through something. So their reward was not just what I could do for them, it was just in my conversation with them.

Mm-hmm.

So they lived for their appointments. Matter of fact, it was so bad They would come when it wasn't their appointment just to sit with me and talk with me. But for me, it was very draining because I'm like, I'm trying to deal with this. All good was just dumping all of this on me. How does that work? And I could boldly say, because I'm brutally honest, why are you doing that? Because that's not even what your purpose is.

Yeah.

You not even happy. And why are you doing it? You know you don't have to do that, right? And I quickly start— my mom, like all the women in my family, um, started popping up. All of my clients just— I became very present to it. Oh, so we're a culture that we are doing something, nobody stopped. To tell us, hey girl, you know that you don't have to do that, or you can do something different. Like, nobody ever stopped to tell them, you don't have to do that, and I got your back. Um, I was that space for them.

Mm-hmm.

That was rewarding once I took— because I'm like, I just, I don't want to do, I don't want to do this. Like, that all of my life. Uh, so I always knew it and know how to tap into what I naturally do because nobody ever stopped to say, you know, you good at that, right? Or they, they would accept it and go and take it and make it as if that's what they discovered. But it was out of me kind of actually coaching them that they got to discover they can do something else with their life. So I'm your cheerleader, I'm your best friend. Like, I'm gonna push you, be on the sideline. I'm that person. That's cheering you on. And that's, that's just what I gave people. Yeah, but I didn't embrace it at first.

So is that how you're embracing it now?

I am. I love it now. I love it now.

What are you doing now, like professionally, or like what, what transition are you making?

So I'm transitioning. Um, so I still have my, my lucrative loctician business, being a sister Consultant. Um, but you know, that's a lot of wear and tear on your body. Um, and I didn't realize that because it was something that I naturally did or did all of my life, and I have never been affected by it. So now I'm affected by it, and I'm good if I can pivot really good. Oh, okay. So this is something else that I naturally do, and my clients always write me to write a book. Do this, do that. I was so biased. I would so come talk to you, and I'm like, I'ma see. But if you don't, guess what? It's somebody else that will. So I just kind of do that. And if I don't know how to do it, I'm good at going to get a coach, even for me, to coach me through how to get to my next level.

Every coach needs a coach.

Every coach needs a coach. All— every coach have a coach. Should just don't know that.

Well, should we probably gonna go off topic real quick? But both of us have been in the entertainment industry for a long time, and with being in the entertainment industry, ain't no coaching over there.

No, like, yeah, but they know somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody. Yeah, yeah, that's what that is. Yeah, but that ain't being close to being manipulative to get to whatever you need to eat. Manipulate.

That's exactly it.

Okay, cool.

And so how do you, um, how can other women work with you?

Other women can work with me, uh, first by email, or you book a consultation with me through traveling. T-R-A-V-E-L-I-N Foodie Beauty, B-E-A-U-T-Y, at gmail.com.

Okay, not Travel Foodie Beauty, Traveling Foodie Beauty.

Okay, cool.

And what about your social media networks?

Where can they find you on social media?

They're all under that name except for TikTok. I love TikTok. It's entertainment and it's art and it's culture. It's Traveling— I got locked out of the original, so it's Traveling Foodie Beauty, uh, 2.

2.

With a number 2 at the end.

Yeah, you love TikTok. What, what can they expect to find on TikTok?

My travels, uh, my background, and all things associated with beauty according to me, uh, makeup, Sisterlocks hair, all of that.

Okay, so traveling, food, beauty, and, um, focusing.

Yeah, yeah, and purpose. I, I like take the bull by the horns and I ride it totally in on purpose. I make sure I do all things, um, around my purpose and my, my DNA and just My makeup.

Got it.

What makes me up.

Yeah, yeah, okay. And because as you can see, we're both beat today. All about beauty. That's how you love yourself too. I think some people have, you know, I know I would, I'm, for a long time I was, you know, I'm holistic everything because at least for me being a cancer survivor, I had to be sensitive about everything. So, you know, Um, wearing makeup, only wear that once in a blue moon. Um, what else? Yeah, traveling, that's natural to me. But even for me, I'm not gonna be, uh, in a 5-star hotel. That's just me. I'm gonna be up there with the locals, like, what y'all about?

Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, um, but traveling, food, and beauty is definitely something we have in common. Definitely something made the way for women to love on themselves. Especially if it's something that they love to do and they don't know that they can do it every single day.

Yeah, they can create that. It literally makes you smile. Cupcakes, donuts, like all the cute stuff make you smile and you, you having a whole experience and don't even know that's intuitively something that you probably need to look into.

Speaking of, um, but we'll just kind of give out the secret now, but the headshot that everyone will see on, you know, this promo, the promotional cover for this is that I photographed it, right?

Yeah.

And so with me photographing it, I think I kind of told you what we're able to do because we're literally in the same environment, we're able to separate it. Like, okay, put the business hat on, take the hat off, you know, sister face. And so I told you after, I should have like, that was my first time picking up a camera in a minute. And I was like, let me do that every single day, you know? So that's how you know that that's your purpose, I think.

Yeah, when you said that, I was like, what, girl? Okay, now what can we do so we can get you doing this? Because you like lit up around the whole experience. Yeah, it was so fun.

Yeah, I loved it.

When I tell you I loved it, I loved it. I'm like, Zaakirah, so how can we make this happen like every day? Because we were so inspired around it.

Yeah, I love that. Okay, and now, um, now time for the fun rapid questions that I tend to ask almost every guest.

Ready?

I think so.

Okay, the first question is, um, where do you want to travel to next?

I believe— no, it ain't believe, I do. I want to travel to Canada next. I've been dying to get— not literally, but I've been trying, trying to get there for the longest. But I always remember it gets cold there. But yeah, I think it's time for me to kind of go ahead and go and see what I like about Canada.

Well, would you prefer the 100-degree Texas of Texas or the cold and negative degrees?

I would prefer Texas. So, um, like, I see why people are snowbirds though, so that's That's something. Yeah.

Okay, okay, next question. Um, what do you want your legacy to be?

I want my legacy to be remembered, or this girl from a country town that smiles and dances and have a love, new love for life. new love for intentional people and just abundance of love for my kids. Not material things. They will have the material things because of my legacy, but really knowledge, wisdom, understanding, and application. Okay.

And, um, Name something that helped you. It could be anything, a book, podcast, person, platform, whatever. Name something that helped you to— like, when I mean discover your purpose, I mean like, this is it and I'm taking it and running with it, right? So name that you discovered your purpose.

Uh, women. Just women in general. My conversations with women. It would be my conversations with women because they're so rewarding for me and for them.

Okay, got it. And we're almost at the end, and if there is anything that no one got from this conversation, what is one thing you want women to remember?

I want women to remember that, um, the answer to everything is just love and genuine authentic love. And even if you don't know what that is, I'm more than happy to help you access that. But just having a new love for life around authentic love and what love actually is.

Yeah.

That's what I want them to know.

I love the love.

And speaking of love, I'll give you one last hug to close out.

Thank you. Thanks for having me. It's always a pleasure talking to Zaakirah.

Y'all should come talk to her.

You would enjoy yourself. And book whatever she got going on. Get it. Get her book. Book a photo session and just bask her with your presence. I promise she won't bite. It's so rewarding.

You will love her. Thank you, thank you. Now speaking of, if you want to be a guest on the See Life Different podcast, uh, visit, um, calendly.com/focusmediagroup/podcast and you'll submit your initial information, your social media, who you are, your bio, the whole bit. But what it'll turn into depending on our conversation or depending on what you submit, it may become a whole full package. I'm hopeful media branding package because I want you to match the energy that you say you are, match your papers. I want your aesthetics, your social media, everything that you represent online to match exactly what it is that you say you want to do. So visit calendly.com/podcast— sorry, calendly.com/focusedmediagroup/podcast to become a guest on the podcast. Thank you for watching and thank you for listening, and we'll see you on the next episode. Bye.