Are You Lying to Your Child? | www.agentsofspeech.com/micro
Ming examines small deceptions parents use in therapy, like saying "last time" to get extra practice. He argues honest reward schedules work better for learning, but must be faded over time. Parents need clear expectations, specific praise, and to teach delayed gratification alongside rewards.
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Hello, good evening or good morning if you're in the usa. I don't know what time it is in, in Europe, but anyways, we have a lot of parents who watch. It's muted. Yeah, I just want to touch base and hang out for like 10 to 20 minutes talking about stuff that I learn every, every week. So this week I want to talk about like lying. Okay. And we do it all the time and I don't mean it in a way that I'm telling you not to do it, to stop it or whatever, but to use it to, you know, don't, don't use it too much is what I mean. Okay, so what I mean by lying is basically I was listening to like a parenting talk, like last month or last week. Sorry, right. And then the, the lecturer is basically saying that, oh, we shouldn't threat children, we shouldn't say things that aren't backed up or promises that, you know, when we say it, we need to back up with, with action and words and you know, and stick to like, stick to our word. And that's, that's exactly what we talk about within the micro course. And I was thinking, hey, I'm not that person to lie to children. I'm very fair and square, you know, I'm, I'm, you know, very straight hitting person. You know, I say something, it means it, right? And if, you know, you've been watching these videos, you would know and I was wrong. You know, like sometimes I do lie to children. And what do, what I do is that I keep on telling children that, oh, this is the last time. And then actually it's not the last time because later on I will tell them to do the same thing. And sometimes if I'm teaching like speech sounds, like for instance, I'm teaching a child to say like the S sound or the L sound or whatever, right? Those are very common sounds that I might train a child to say. And it becomes very repetitive and I become like, what do you call that? A personal trainer, you know, at the gym and they say, oh, one more, set, one more rep. And it's kind of like that for me. And I lie. I lie that, you know, it's the last time or like one more go, there's actually like five more or ten more goes, you know, and to give you some context, why I'm doing that is because for a child to truly master a speech sound that they don't have, you gotta go as many reps as possible within that little short span of an hour that I have. Knowing that a lot of parents won't do the homework that I give them. And I'm not telling you to. Yeah, so that's why I'm not telling you to cram your child inside of the microcourse. I told tell you like I tell parents to not keep on asking and repeating questions, commands, whatever, whatever, right inside of the clinic room. Because I only have an hour, usually back in Hong Kong, sometimes even less, like 30 minutes to 45 minutes. You know, we have to cram because we know that we don't have enough time. We want to make sure that the money you pay us, like me, is well spent. So we cram as much as we can. And I don't want you to learn that. I don't want you to learn to cram, to, like, using, like, pressure tactics, you know, and reward systems that much at home. All right. It's certainly a good way to start. But since we're on the topic of rewarding, I want to talk about, like, last week on our membership call. And this membership, for those who don't know, is a membership. I don't actively talk about it because we only want parents who have been through the micro course at the very least, or, you know, past clients of mine who can hop on and share their video with me, and I can go through it on zoom and give some feedback. Okay? So on this. On this membership call, to give you context, one of the parents showed us that, oh, yeah, the kid sometimes would bounce around and get a little hyperactive and get a little upset. And upon seeing it, the mom was doing a great job teaching. Right. But there's always a bet, but. Or else why would they share the feedback? Like, why. Why would they ask for feedback? Right. So a constructive feedback was that the reward schedule wasn't, like, frequent enough and there was a certain degree of dishonesty from the mom. And I say this, what I mean is that. What I mean by that is not like, oh, she lied, like, bluntly and meant that, oh, after you finish all this, you can have this. Right? So in a child's mind, especially those who are on the spectrum, is that, you know, if you tell them that after three times, they can have it, and then it's five or six times. Although we don't. We lost count ourselves because we're so busy teaching, they remember and they get upset. It's like, hey, where's my money? Where's my salary? Where's my reward? Whatever, right? So to. To give you a little more understanding, okay. If you are teaching A child on the spectrum. And you're using some methods that are very aba, right? Meaning Applied Behavioral Therapy. And if you don't know what that is, you know, you can just search on the Internet or watch some of the videos that we have here. So you need to remember the structure is for you and also for your child. The structure is structured like that. The reason why it's because like that is because it's effective for the child to learn. Okay? So when we talk about like reward schedules, why it's so important, like why is that reward system so important is because it's effective. It's effective way to get to them as fast as possible, as effective as bam. Like that. So that's why I, you know, inside the microhorse or whatever, whenever you hear me talk, I don't talk like other speakers. Speech therapist, right? Other speech pathologists say, oh, you know, you gotta do the, what's I called, keep it natural. You know, go down to them, talk as if, you know, explain yourself. Oh, it's okay that you're, you know, like you feel upset or it's okay, you can't talk now, whatever. I, I, I'm okay with that. But at the same time, you know, I want to get stuff done and that's in my blood, you know, like I'm from a fast paced city, I grew up there, and I just cannot take it when, you know, stuff isn't done. So all of that has its place in time. I'm not saying that. Oh, you know, what's that called, like floor time or the other approaches called teach. Those all have very good, you know, they're great for people, for therapists, for you, for, for parents, for teachers to use. Right Floor time. It's awesome. It's a great tool, it's a great approach. But at the same time, does it get stuff done asap? Probably not, man. That's why we're using rewards, okay? And the reason why is because most parents, they give up, all right? They give up within a month or two after trying themselves when they see no results. I can only keep on going. When I'm doing like a naturalistic approach, it's only because I know it will work. I've seen it myself. Or else why would I, why am I using it? Why am I telling you, right? If I do something that's ineffective, I'm basically in the Hong Kong saying I'm breaking my own bowl. You know, where I eat from? I'm getting myself into a whole load of trouble by using techniques that don't work. So for you, why I'm telling you to use rewards and stick to it and be, like, faithful and don't lie about how, like, it's. It's a. It's a. What's that called? It's a very. It's an honest mistake. You know, like, you forget. Right? But you have to have that structure inside of how you teach your child, or else, you know, they don't feel like they're being. Their time is being wasted. You know, they could be rolling on the floor. You know, that's fun, right? Or they could be, like, trying to play with other toys or other things if the reward isn't enticing enough. There's so much stuff to do at home. All right, Think about in a speech therapy center there, there's literally nothing else. I control all the toys, and a lot of parents will give up after a month or two and say, ah, man, I'm not a teacher. I'm not a therapist. I'll give it back to someone who can do the job for me. I remember there was some parent who texted me back in the day, agents of speech was still at the. Like, I was still coaching parents one on one, and one of the parents told me, you know, Ming, I don't think I'm cut out for this. You know, like, I can't do it anymore. I'm not as patient. You know, there's. There's people who, you know, get master's degree like me, by the way. Like, it's so stupid to go through a whole master's degree just to learn it. And then to. And then, you know, I was saying that the mother was saying that there's people who have a master's degree who can help me. Right. But that's not the point. That's not the point. The point is that I don't have enough time with your kid. Okay. Okay. So, Kuyen, welcome here again, so not really. Encourage reward system for kids. Observe side effects real quick. The side effects come if you don't know how to manage the rewards. If you don't manage it and tell them who's in charge, obviously, the side effects will come. The. The side effects of what you're talking about, Kuyen, I believe, is that, oh, they're starting to, like, grab the stuff from you. Starting to, like, get a little fussy and whatever. That's because your structure isn't well enough, and they think that they can get away with it with you. That never happens to me or, like. Or any parent who has Gone through the steps, like, faithfully. I'm not saying this to you, Kuyan, because sometimes, you know, when. When I tell you something, you keep on doing it and you think that it will. You know, the results will be different. I'm telling you, you're learning, right? And so is your kid. So listen to other people who have done it before and has worked. Look at the group. Everyone has gone through the same stuff as you. So the side effects of reward system is the side effect of your lack of a structure and a system. So. So if you systematically increase the rewards, systematically decrease the schedule of them getting a reward, that wouldn't happen. I can guarantee that. Some might say it's a science. I don't think so. It's just human nature. The more systematic you do it, the easier for the kid to understand and the side effects won't come out. As you say, they actually. No side effects. There's only a misuse. You know, you can have a gun, you can use it to kill people, or you can use it to. Actually, there's no good use for a gun. I'm sorry. Let's talk about a knife then. You know. You know, you can cut food or you can, like, murder someone with it, right? Like there's a saying in Chinese, you know, water can. What's that? Water can lift the boat and it could also sink a boat. Anyways, so a Nabil. It's been a long time to build. It's a. So my daughter likes pizza. And I tell her, I give you pizza after you finish work. So once she's done, she gets asked me, mama, pizza. All right, that's great. Okay, so that's a good use of reward. But you have to think about how to. How to fade it out. Okay? Systematically go through it, and then slowly, you know, slowly decrease the amount of pizza. And this is very important, Nabil. This was about what I'm about to say, okay? The. The thing about, like, rewards, physical rewards, or like tangible, edible, whatever you call it, is that it's linked to you. You're the person who's giving, right? So why is that? Children who come my way nowadays, I don't need any reward. I don't probably need much other than some toys that we're playing together that I'm not feeding them snacks. I'm not feeding them, like, drinks or whatever that I used to. Used to meaning like maybe a month or two ago. It's because when they work with me or when they play or study with me, they know that I will be There to help, number one, I'll be here. There to tell them exactly what they need to do. And I won't let them fail. Okay? And whenever I praise them or let them, like, when they learn something, they feel rewarded, okay? And because I've been giving them so much goodies, they have a good relationship with me, Meaning I'm the person who gives, I'm the person who rewards, and I'm the person who praises. I'm the person who teaches and also helps them no matter what. So you need to be that person, too. That's what I'm talking about. So, Nabil, you're getting there. Whatever you say. Good job, excellent. You know, praise them. And like, I remember when I first started in therapy and I also listened to the supervisors who taught me, first day of my job, I had to think of 10 Ways to Praise a kid. Coming from, like, a Chinese background where, you know, praising just means sarcasm most of the time, you know, if you know Hong Kong culture. So it was pretty difficult for me. And then the supervisor also asked the parent who came in for parent training to learn how to. To learn how to. How to praise. So homework for you is to think about 10 ways, not just, good job, nice work, or, like, excellent. Think about, like, oh, awesome. Hey, you did it. You got it. Hey, you know, think of 10 ways, right? You know, you got it. Boy, girl. I don't know. Excellent, you know, outstanding. I don't know. Different ways, different tones make it natural. Okay, the problem. Sometimes I see, like, therapists and children. Sorry, not parents and therapists and teachers. They go very, like. They go very. How to say? They make it very unnatural by only going like, good job. Yeah, good job is always the same thing. So make it as. As. What's that called? Make it as natural as possible. All right, so great. So Kuyen says. Agreed. The way of using the cocial side effect observed refer to the eldest kid. Praising is better than rewarding. With materialistic. Yeah, that. The. The. The thing we're talking about is, like, you're rewarding or are you, like, spoiling? Right. There's two different things. That's also what I learned sometimes, you know, like, for me, it's always after work, after work, after work, you get the reward. After work, you get the reward after work. You know, I'm not a parent yet, but for me, at least when I'm teaching children, sometimes, you know, the materialistic is the only way to get through to a kid who doesn't understand much. That's what I mean. Okay, so Someone says, someone asks, is it okay to postpone the reward just to sell test or self regulation. Not consider lying, just postpone it. But sometimes I switch it with a less attractive reward. Okay, So I think if you said that, if you said to her that you know you are going to give her this one, then there isn't a. I don't know, like why would you test someone's self regulation when you know what's going to happen next? You know what I'm saying? Like that's not the best way. I as I believe like you should teach anyone to self regulate. You know, self regulation is when you tell them that if they regulate they will get more. Okay. There's literally if you think about it from an economic standpoint, okay, I'm telling you to think about this from a very logical and like with reasoning. Okay? So let's say they do something and, and then you delay the reward. But then after you delay the reward they get the same thing. All right, but you know that whenever, like that kid cannot wait, I'm guessing your kid can't wait and whenever there's a reward like around they would go crazy. Right? So what I'm trying to say is what's it in for him? What's it in for her? Why did you delay it? When? When before it wasn't delayed and they get it and now they delayed it and it's still the same reward. So I'm telling you, if you're trying to test her self regulation, you shouldn't do that because you haven't taught it yet. So what you need to do is to tell her in advance. You say, look, you need to wait. I need to teach the wait word. I don't know how great your child's speech and language ability is. And tell them, okay, you have to wait. The longer you wait, the better the reward. Okay? Oh, I see it. It's actually Rohana who's asking this. Cool. So you need to tell her in advance. Like if you wait longer you get more, you know, she cannot generalize that in her brain, you know. So there's no way in testing, no need to test this teacher, right? The longer she waits, the bigger the reward. That's what we're trying to teach, right? That's why we're trying to fade it out. Because we're trying to teach what we call a, what we call, like what's that called? Delayed gratification. Right? So the longer someone waits, the bigger the reward. Then we would be hardwired to wait to do the Extra step to, you know, to grind a little bit more because we can think long term now. Okay, so you can never test someone's self regulation. Not even like just us, right? It'll be very difficult. If I tell you like, bitcoin, obviously Bitcoin crashed, right? But you know, if I were to tell you, like, we all know that, we all know this, right? If you were to put like, sorry, I'm leaving the topic about teaching children, right? But you know, making money, everyone knows about that. If I told, I told you and you would know that in 10 years time, if you just put your money in Amazon, you know, your, your money would have like, I don't know, 20 times. But you know, how many people can actually do it? Not a lot. So if you test someone's self regulation, just look at this human nature. Everyone knows if you put it in an index fund, right, for compound interest, right, it's going to work out. But no, everyone's going to try bitcoin, everyone's going to try like shorting the market. I don't know what they call it. And we're not here to discuss money either. Okay, but what I mean is there's no point in testing. If you have to test them, make sure you have a stronger reward at the back. Okay? If you switch to a less attractive reward, then what are you doing? Is that you're punishing her for doing the work and waiting. So that's actually the opposite. If you think about it in a different way. Just imagine it like you waited for two years and then you got something lesser. What does it tell you? Waiting is stupid. Do something else, you know? So I hope that answers your question, Rohana. So, yeah, Kuyen says, yes, I give it before work. And it works too. It's a trust build. Yeah, it's a trust build. Exactly. That's what I mean. Very good. Okay, see now this is a perfect example. So Shushu, thank you for putting it here. If you say, hi, my son is three and a half years old, or three or five or 3.5, I don't know, he has speech delay. How can I help him? Hey, this exactly what I'm getting every day. So to all the parents out there, if you want help, right? If you want help, do not, do not, do not write like this to me. Because what you're doing to me right now is like, is like telling me, telling, I don't know what your job is. For instance, if your job is like a doctor and then you say, hey, doctor, my body hurts, how Can I fix it? I don't know. Like, nobody can answer that. Or you fix computers and then you say, oh, I can't turn on the computer. Can you help me? Right? And no one's going to be able to help you if you just ask like that. You know, it's always, I have to ask more prompting questions in order to get a better idea, right? Or you can just go to agentsofspeech.com micro, read the stuff there, see if it describes your kid. If it does, then join. If it doesn't help, then ask for a refund. We don't need to go in a back and forth, because I really cannot service everyone who comes my way in this fashion. Impossible to help when you like. Shushu, I'm sorry if I'm saying this right, that makes you feel unhappy, but it's a great opportunity to tell everyone how I feel, right? I don't know if you're. If you're. If I don't know what your job is. It's like if you're a financial analysis, like, analyst, right? I say something like, the numbers look wrong, like, how can I make it right? You know? You know what I'm saying, right? So it's impossible. All right. Thank you for this. This question, I don't know, like, how would I answer this is. I don't know. I really don't know how I can help. I don't know if it's a. If. If what you mean by speech delay is really what speech delay is. Because speech delay is thrown around so easily as I was talking before, right? If you search in YouTube, just take like 5 seconds of her time and search what is speech delay? You will understand that it's actually a misconception. And how would I know if you're referring to that in any way? So it's impossible for me to answer anything like this. Shushu, you're going to give a lot more context. All right, so let's get back to the matter at hand. So giving rewards, right? That's one thing. Other thing is, like, if you're lying not only because of rewards, right? How about like, how about to some extent we are all trying to, like, say, like when we are presenting a task to a child or presenting a book, presenting a. Whatever. I don't know, a material that you're trying to teach the child with, right? Have you taken the time to explain explicitly how it should be done? Right. Does your child know what the. The. What the requirements are? So a lot of times what I see is My child doesn't speak in a sentence, right? So sometimes the mom. Not sometimes, most of the time the mom will ask, what do you want? And then the kid says, cookie. And then the mom says, say the whole thing. Say the whole sentence. Say the whole thing, right? What's the problem here? When you know, if you think about it, if you ask me at a restaurant, like let's say, okay, whoa, wait, let's say I am the waitress, right? Or waiter, sorry, I'm the waiter. I come over, I say like, how can I help you? Like, what do you want? Right? Basically. And then you would say, I would like a fork, please, right? Or fork, right. So you will have that exchange because there's a social setting that you have to be a little more put polite or else the waiter might give you even worse service than he or she already has, right? So that your kid doesn't understand that. So if you think about that, if you talk to an elderly, right? They are the most, they don't care about anything. You know, if you ask them what do you want? And they say, they basically give you one word replies. It's not that they don't know how to speak in the longer sentence, right? It does. It doesn't mean that they don't understand they need to be polite to you. They do, but they choose not to because they don't care. Right? But your child is totally different. They didn't know the requirement for them to achieve the same thing, like getting a fork from you or getting a spoon from you requires a much longer sentence, right? So therefore it's not their fault. You are basically setting them for a failure because, you know, you didn't explain to them. And in some extent that's a form of dishonesty, right? It's like, you know, sometimes I refer to children talking as much as, you know, it feels like they are paying money because speech is so difficult for them that they have to muster the, the effort and the courage to try. Okay? And this analogy is actually how to say is is is deemed to be correct by, you know, some of my students who are a little older, they say, oh, I have to use so much effort, you know, if you don't tell me in advance, I don't think I would have done it, you know, if, you know, after I said fork, actually you wanted me to say like I want fork please or whatever that few more words, A lot of us take it for granted, okay? And we don't understand that actually children, it's like paying money because every word Is like a dollar hard earned. They need to go through their brain and try to make the sounds happen. And then they pay and say, oh, fork. And then you say whole thing, please. And then of course they're gonna try to ignore you or try to grab it because they're like, mom, I thought, you know, or dad, I thought I told you already, if you're not giving it to me, I'm just gonna grab it. You know, there's one, there's one student of mine who says, you know, how to say? This is the whole interaction. I'm sure you can totally relate. So what happens is that during meal time is like suddenly the mom feels like a hand pulling onto her and then trying to get, get the mom to feed the kid, right? And then the, and then the mom asks, what do you want? And then the kid says, eat. And then the mom says, say the whole thing. And then the kid just moves the head right there and just, just eats it. Right? That's the, that's the problem here, right? Sometimes we use every opportunity and, you know, like for me and you to have this conversation. I always have this conversation, right? When I was in masters, when I was in grad school, right? The supervisors would always say, use every opportunity, teach the parents. Use every opportunity as a chance to teach language for them to talk. And don't, like, don't let them have it unless they talk, right? But what happens here is that it becomes, number one, stressful. Number two, you haven't told them the real the requirement. So the bar gets set too low for the kid. And then when they try, and then you say, I'll say the whole thing, or you say, oh, whole sentence, please, or say nicely or whatever, the whole requirement goes up, the stress builds up, they don't want to do it anymore and they try to do it the old way, which was like hand pulling or just getting it themselves, right? So how to tackle this is, yes, we still need to treat every opportunity as a way, as a timing for teaching language and communication and whatnot, right? But we need to be a little more selfless. We need to start like describing a little bit more. We need to start telling them exactly what to do, what is required of them. If they cannot, we have to help them right away. We cannot let them fail. We have to let them have a little bit of what they want first. Instead of a one or zero situation, which I see a lot of moms especially do, is like once they say it, no matter if it's like the mom squeezes every Word out of the kid like, I want, want to, to eat, eat. Spaghett. Spa, spa. Get, get, get. Okay, I'm reenacting both the mom and the kid here, which is kind of awkward, but you know, so you have to think about it in this way. Okay, got it. Thank you. So how you tackle it is. We talk about it a lot inside of micro course. And I don't want to oversell it. I mean, it's just a very easy course to go through anyways, right? So now you understand. To be totally honest with your kid means that they totally understand what is required of them, right? Is to be a man or a woman of rewards. To give the rewards exactly at the time, exactly at the prescribed method. And the thing that you promise, right? Why would anyone trust you? Why would anyone want to work with you anymore? If you drag on payments and then you give them the wrong sum of money, that just sucks. Don't do that. Don't be that person, don't be that parent. And then the third thing is that you have to be on the same page. You both have to be on the same page. And because we are the ones who can communicate, show, tell, describe with our words and our, and our whatever, right? We are the people who are. Who should be doing all. Doing exactly all the describing, the talking, the, the teaching, the showing, right? So if they don't understand and whatever and they get mad because they didn't understand what was going on, it's our fault. That's, that's all I'm going to say. You know, it's always our fault. Because, you know, it's not that they would, if they would have learned language their, their own way, they would have. Right? So everything that we can control is our fault. Everything that we cannot control is not our fault. Right. For instance, a lot of moms say it's especially the moms, by the way, and it's crazy that this becomes a problem. It's like, oh, it's your fault that, you know, it's, it's the mom's fault that they're giving screen time to the kids so much that they become speech delayed or like, oh, it's because they didn't whatever. Or like didn't have the supplements or during pregnancy there was stress or whatever, they become autistic. I don't know about that. Could you have control that? No. Then it's not your fault. Right? Really, I mean it. I truly mean it. Okay. And it really isn't your fault that, you know, things turn out this way. I mean, no one could have known, you know, no type of genetical. If it's a genetic disorder that you knew in the first place, then it's a risk factor. It's not your fault, right? But all in all, all in all, okay, that we have, like, no matter for me, right? Yet to be a parent. But bringing a cat into the house or bringing a child into the house, these are all like, our decisions, right? It's our selfish decisions. This cat could have been on the street. I brought her in. A lot of people would say, oh, I'm so glad that she met me, or whatever, but she wants to go out every day, you know, she didn't ask for it. So did your child. He didn't ask for him to say a whole sentence in order to get what he wants, Right? He didn't ask to be born inside of her household either. Right. And he didn't ask for it to be delayed at all, right? It's hard. It's difficult. And the number one thing, like, just before I leave, okay, the number one thing that I hear the most from children who were on the spectrum and from, like, learning from adolescents or adult ASD people is that most of them, they don't want to be a nuisance to anyone. They would much rather just climb inside of their mother's womb again and reverse their birth, you know, they don't want to be. That's what they told me. Exact words, you know? So we need to do whatever we can. And as a parent, as a mom, if you're watching this far into a live about such a. Such a boring topic, kudos to you, okay? You've done a great job already. It's just a matter of time until you get the gist of it. And you can teach your child almost anything, okay? And I mean it, because I've seen it happen, all right? So remember to keep on going, right? That's number one. Number two is like, remember it's not your fault. Number three is try not to lie to your kid. Be as honest as a man or a woman you can be, okay? Make sure you teach. Demonstrate everything and how it works to the child, because that's what we can control. So it's our fault, right? And at the very last stage is that when you know, when someone tells you how it could work for you, the only thing that you can do to see if it's true or not is to try it, right? And I see a lot of parents, especially the moms, right? 90% of people who watch this stuff who watch my stuff and buy my course and stuff are moms. And I'm very happy that you're here. But most of them would much rather try like, try dietary, you know, ways of like helping the speech delay child and you know, not saying that people are lazy or whatever. It's just that becomes something that is external and not something that you can work on. You know, I'm saying so all these things are. No one else can do it, right? As I told you, the reason why I lie to kids a lot as I talked about in the very beginning of this video, is that I don't have enough time. I gotta use these tactics like a sleazy salesman to get them to do whatever I want them to do within that timeframe. You think it's super hard to fit in the enough trials that I can morally feel that. Ah, that's a good set of practice we did today. That justifies the mom paying me 100 USD, you know, for, for like 45 minutes. And you know, is that struggle inside the heart. And number two is that I also have to tell the mom and show the mom and let the mom or dad to demonstrate it in front of me at least one time. All right? And that's why I have to do all. Do all these things like you don't need to, you really do not need to say these things as if you finish. I will do whatever are. Use threatening tactics like that. That's another lying thing that I didn't talk about right here. But it's a big thing. You know, back in Hong Kong, whenever the mom, that the kid wasn't doing anything, the mom would say, mom's gonna go out, mom's gonna go out. And then she pretends to go out and then the kid goes. And the mom goes, then you better do your stuff. You know. Have you done that before? I'm sure you have, you know, at least some of you. So, you know, that's crazy to think those kind of tactics are long term. It's not. It really isn't. Like how many times would it happen until you know that it's just stupid, you know. And I'm going to share a little bit. I don't think maybe my parents are watching right now, but my dad used to threaten me a lot, threatened me a lot with sending me to another school. And you know, by the time I was like five, give him a little more credit maybe by the time I was like nine, I knew it was just hoax, man. I knew that that's not true. It Will never happen. I don't care anymore. That threat has no type of, no type of hold on me, you know, and same goes to your kid if you say mom's gonna go out, dad's gonna go out, mom's gonna call the cops on you. What, what kind of threat is that, by the way? That's very Asian thing. I'm gonna call the cops. If you're naughty, they're going to come and catch you. Whatever. That kind of stuff probably doesn't work anymore for any kid who's older than like three and a half most probably. And at four children learn how to lie. And where do they learn to lie from? Probably us. So you better know that. Okay, so that's all I wanted to talk about today. And that's all. Thank you. Do leave the questions you have inside of this comment section of this live video. I will come back to it and answer some of it to the best of my ability. And I'm really, really, really happy about the number of people who have joined our, sorry, the Facebook group. And we're on to 3,000 subscribers on YouTube. If you're watching on YouTube, which is very good by the way. You know, like it's very difficult for, for Chinese men talking about like teaching children and speech pathology, which is like traditionally a very white woman business. You know, if you see a speech pathologist or a psychologist is always a white woman. Right. How can you get someone. And you get someone in a T shirt and one time like just, I just, sorry, I'm in the mood for talking one time there's this parent who said, ah, who's this guy? Chinese guy in the T shirt. I don't think he's that professional. Right. Needless to say, I didn't, we didn't chat at all. But doesn't matter as long as we're sharing. And it's not only me. I, I don't care about what I say or whether you agree with me or not. What I want is that you try out the stuff and act and take action and do you know things that have been working for other parents, not what's been what I know I don't know a lot, you know, I only know how to try things out and stick to things that work which aren't a lot by the way. So you know, don't need to agree with me, don't need to join anything, you know, don't need to listen to me. I'm just another guy on the Internet. But at the same time do keep on trying. Okay? That's the only thing that separates a child that, you know, can speak earlier or later or whatever. At least that's what, you know, the. What was that called? At least that's. That's the. That's the. My student who's like now 30 years old on the spectrum told me, you know, if it wasn't for the mom who kept on trying, I don't think she said, she probably wouldn't have made it as in. Made it as in can talk. That's all. Okay. And if you guys are interested, you know, we can ask if she's willing to do a sharing or whatever sometime soon. But anyways, that's all for tonight. Thanks for hanging out. Always a pleasure. And, and. Oh, wow. Yeah, Very nice. Very nice comments. Thank you so much. And that's it for tonight, guys. I'll see you next week, Monday. And for those who are already inside the micro course last, like housekeeping announcement, the membership for the video feedback is on, is back on, is open until June. So you need to join between now and June and then we'll close it. And that's because we're changing up how the membership is. Okay. And the previous things that are included within the membership, I don't think it's that important. So I've gotten rid of it. But at the same time, if you join before that, it will be included. And what's included are, like, other courses that teaches you from, like, zero words to like, word combining, to, like, answering questions to storytelling. That's the whole package that I can put together myself. And it's been a tedious process trying to do so solo. It's hard. It's very hard. So that's it, guys. And I remember, like, sorry, just in the mood for talking tonight. You know, I remember putting together like an hour and a half, like, Parents workshop would take all of us, like, I don't know, two weeks to put together because, you know, there's so much stuff going on and now I'm like, trying to cram in as much as I can in a way that you can understand and to ask permission from parents, from the memberships and like my, my past clients, if I can show some of the videos that they've done that are excellent so that they don't need to always listen to me demonstrate and talk and see other parents doing it and other kids improving. I think that's the best thing that the membership can or the courses can offer is that you're not alone and there's someone who's been doing it and been succeeding. Right. Alrighty, Koyan, you just need to go inside the Facebook group the Ages of Speech one, and then there's a Google form there you can fill in and you can apply. Okay, so that's all. See you guys. Bye. Bye.
