Ming from Agents of Speech recommends locking up high-value toys and keeping only low-interest ones accessible. Use new or limited toys as rewards to teach your delayed child communication and cooperation, even if grandparents push back at first.
Hey, guys, this is ming here from agentsofspeech.com today we want to talk about why you should lock your things up inside of your house. Okay? And this advice has been very useful to parents, and they have reported a lot of good results by doing this exact advice. Okay? The reason why therapists have a very clean room and clean, I mean, like, tidy room, like where a lot of stuff is inside boxes, they're locked up, you know, like there's nothing on tables and whatnot, is because we want to prevent any bad behavior from happening. And we want to prevent us from scolding the kid or saying no or telling them that's not the right thing to do when all we had to do was to prevent it from happening in the first place. The reason why we're doing this inside the house is because we also want to build a good relationship with the child. Okay? So first of all, prevention. Are there any toy snacks, drinks items or whatever, your hand, phone or whatever that will trigger your child's bad behavior? Maybe when he wants chocolate, he'd run and open the cabinet for it, and you have to chase him and, you know, hold him or like, say, no, no, no, no, don't run. And then it becomes like a bad experience for everyone. So remember, preventing this type of behavior starts with putting them away, putting them locked up, or just, you know, deleting them from existence. Make it inaccessible. Why we want to do that, the second reason is because we want them to have good things, access those things that they want through you. Okay? Not through, you know, crying or. Or throwing a tantrum or whatever. I want them to have access to the good things in life through you. And that means that they understand, oh, the reason why I have to talk. How to communicate is, is because mom always or dad always has the rewards and the good things as long as I behave and talk and, you know, communicate well. So you have to make the opportunity out of these kind of situations when you can only access those things. You have the power because you're controlling those things and you can give it to them when the good behavior arises. And I understand that there are helpers and grandmother grandfathers that will think that this is some sort of torture and they would rather have this the easy way and just give it to them without all the fuss. Right? But, you know, you have to let them know that in the long run, it's better for them. In the long run, they need to learn to delay their gratification. Right. If they always get it in the get go, then they will never work for anything in life. And this is very bad because if your child isn't. Is delayed, a speech delayed, and you want them to catch up, and the only way is really to always sit them down and teach them something or, you know, help them catch up with some homework, then if they don't know what is like a delayed gratification, then they will always want to just skip learning. This is something you have to try to do at home. At the very least, to help them create this kind of behavior pattern is that whenever they want something, they have to ask first, work something to do something first, talk first, whatever, and then they'll get it. Then it will make a lot of sense down the road when you're trying to teach them to catch up. Especially during these times when this video is shot, you know, during the pandemic when, you know, homeschooling might be ineffective, right. Or, you know, zoom is not effective as it should be because everything's on a monitor and stuff. So it needs to be from you. They have to understand that reward comes from the parents and the parents will teach them. And as long as they listen and comply, they will have rewards. Okay. Okay. So do you have to lock up everything? No, not really. Inside my clinic room, I leave out, you know, some stuff that are very meh. Things like acupis that doesn't have a lot of entertainment value in it. Right. You can put some stuff that's totally not that fun out on the floor. It's totally fine for them to have free access to those things. In fact, if they don't have something to like play around, it might cause even of a bigger tantrum. So have some stuff on the floor that, you know, you don't mind them playing. It's not like them always playing with, with the iPad or iPhone or whatever. As long as it's something that's boring. Acubus I was talking about basic little doll or something that they can like fiddle around but not have too whilst doing it. Okay, so why we like to do this is because whenever you buy something, okay. Parents love to buy new toys because the children aren't. The interests are very limited. Whenever you limit the access to good stuff and you buy something new, the interest and get. Getting their attention becomes tenfold easier because it's basically starving them. And I'm using this term as an ethical way. Right. I mean if, if it wasn't for you, they wouldn't even have it anyways. Right? So you want them to not always be their baseline to not always to think that, oh, these are all mine. It's free access. I can get whatever I want, right? You want to buy something new, and then you use it as an opportunity to either do more teaching, you know, teach them more words through the toy, teach them how to play the toy, expand interest, and pair it with other toys that they don't like. Right? Now, teach them as a task, reward good behavior, and that you're also rewarding. The interaction between you guys is that you're always Santa Claus. You come here with good stuff, and you have fun together. And they don't get into the rhythm where they associate, like tantrums and having to cry right next to you just to get what they want. Okay? So in the long run, this is gonna work. In the short run, it's gonna be rather difficult to explain yourself to the grandparents. It's gonna put you guys in a. In a difficult situation. But in the long run, it's very worth it. And that's why all of us do it as therapists, okay? And that's why your child will perform a lot better in a therapy room. And that's the only reason why, because they don't think they have ownership of the things around the clinic, okay? And the same thing should happen at home, okay? They have ownership of things. You're not starving them too much of fun. You know, you have some stuff they have free access to, but not all the good stuff. The good stuff needs to come from you. All right? So with that said, hopefully that helps you understand how to manage business behavior better at home. And you can leave all your comments and questions down below. And if you haven't, you can go to agentsofspeech. Com Checklist for a full list of tools and toys that we recommend for parents to get when they start home therapy. All right, so see you guys in the next video real soon, and bye.
