How to Get Autistic Children to Talk in 4 Weeks

There's a secret to getting autistic children to talk in four weeks and that secret is consistent effort. Now, I'm not going to say that your child's going to talk in four weeks, five months, six months, a year, two years. I'm not even going to give you a time frame because that's the wrong thing, the wrong mindset to go into it. Because if you think like that, it's most probably you're going to be disappointed, okay? Whether you like it or not, that's just the hard truth. I'm going to tell you right now. If anyone tells you that, oh, your child's gonna talk in four weeks or whatever, they're probably lying. No one has a crystal ball. I wish I had. I wish I could look into it and tell you, dude, this is gonna happen later on. But this is gonna discount you from putting in the consistent effort that's gonna allow you to get your child communicating with you better, okay? There are loads of things that you can do for autistic child. You can go to different therapy, different approaches, different whatever, but it doesn't take away the fact that you need to start communicating with your child differently in order to get different results. And this consistent effort is the same with doing anything in life. Let's say you're trying to lose weight, okay? A lot of people are trying to find the perfect diet, trying to find the perfect exercise, perfect whatever. But as an actual fact, if you just need, all you got to do to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Doesn't matter what you eat at that moment in time, doesn't matter what kind of exercise you're trying to do. As long as doing something and being consistent, you will see changes as the same as doing home therapy or just teaching your child to do anything. You need to be consistent to see if this is the correct approach to do it. And you, if you consistently do it, you will see results, no matter how small or big it would be, okay? And then you can evaluate what you can do next, okay? If you don't stick to it, it's very hard to know, okay? The second thing is, I want you to think in progress and not in time. Now, this is a very hard thing to do because we all are wired to think that life is like a stage by stage process, right? We go from here to here, we go to elementary, we go to primary school, we go to secondary school, we go to university, right? So it's very difficult to go outside of that, especially when everyone around you is going on this route, it's very difficult. So I know a lot of parents, if you're watching this, you'll think, I need to get my child to talk in X amount of time. I want them to be school ready. I need it to be done in six months. A lot of parents come to us, although we have a lot of free courses and stuff. And like, it's, I would say it's actually more info than a lot of paid stuff out there. It's still a lot of stuff that you want, right? So then they come onto the coaching stuff and ask Ming, can you tell me the success rate of your coaching stuff? We're not going to tell you that. We're not going to give you any substantial statistics until we get the numbers correct. That's number one. Number two, want this to be ethical and that if you join, you're not looking for a quick time skip training, right? Like a movie cut scene of someone training and then suddenly to become really good or really strong or they're ready for the fight, right? It's not like that. You need to think in, in progress, okay? Think about if you're going to do this anyways, you're going to teach your child anyways. Think about what the next thing, thing you want progress in and micro small steps. Because that's exactly how children will learn. Whether they're autistic or not, whether they're typically developing or not. Children will improve in stepwise fashions, okay? Anyways, the third thing is rapport over results. A lot of parents, especially from Asia, I'm Asian, don't get me wrong, we really care about results more than rapport. And I see it in the difference and therapy style, especially because I'm from Hong Kong. So a lot of times when I say something, I'm very results driven. And that's why a lot of parents, they come to me because they think that the way that I speak, I talk, I write is all about results, right? So that's something that is of a bad habit and a cultural problem. And a lot of parents cannot wait because just imagine if I can't imagine if my child couldn't talk, I, I would be also very anxious about it. But it's easy for me to sit here and tell you, oh, you got to focus on rapport and building a relationship, all right? But it is the truth. If you want to move anyone to do anything, you got to have that relationship. You got to have a good working relationship with your child, okay? Or else whatever you do is just going to Be a drag. It's going to be really difficult. And even if you see results, they're going to be crying, they're going to be, you're not going to have a good time, okay? So the next thing is to give and then ask. So a lot of times parents will ask, what do you mean by giving? Because I give a lot, I talk a lot, I narrate everything, I do everything that like speech therapist told me to do. But then giving isn't just about just language input, isn't about narrating. Everything is about being very generous with your time, with your energy, with the reward, with the rewards, right? Being generous about building routines around the things that your child likes. Instead of trying to get your child to do your bidding. Because you have to keep on giving. First you have to sell a toy. You have to teach them how to provide value, about how to play a. Play a certain toy, right? Go into their world. If they like lining up, toys like line up in a way that makes sense, give it meaning. Line up so that they're going to. All the trains or cars are going to a slope and they all go down and hit a block or something. If the animals are all lining up, put a Noah's ark at the very end of a huge boat so that there's a story about it. They're all going on to the boat, right? So it's all about giving, giving. And once you have that rapport, when you give enough, you can ask. A lot of parents ask first and that depletes the whole trust bank. And then they have nothing left. And all they can rely on is the need based stuff. When a child wants something, they come up to the parent, they get their needs met, they leave, right? That's what's happening right now. The next thing is about effective learning. Once you have that rapport and that relationship, you've been giving, giving, giving, it's time to get your child to sit down with you and do some effective learning. So effective learning is very important. Learning to learn skills is very important A lot of the times. What I see now, and I'm going to get a lot of stick from my colleagues overseas, is that there's a lot of emphasis on child led therapy and not enough clinic, clinician or parent led therapy, therapy. Now effective learning comes into place when we require a child to do something over and over again that is mundane, like for instance, trying to teach them a sentence structure, trying to get a speech sound correct. We need to get them to sit down and do something boring with Us, Okay? So if we don't have their 100% attention, they're running around, they're doing whatever, they're doing somersaults, they're belly flopping onto a sofa, which happens a lot. You aren't doing effective learning, okay? And if you don't have that, have effective learning, you're not going to be able to accelerate your child's development. So, for instance, if you're learning to play golf, are you learning a new sport? Of course. I was playing tennis the other day. How many swings do you need with the coach until you can actually hit the ball in the game? Right? Because if you just play with the game, all you're going to do is just pick up balls, man. You got to go into and do the mundane stuff. You've got to swing, swing. The coach comes over and looks like your grip and stuff, and then you keep on swinging. And then when you're ready, okay, you can swing and then you can play a game, right? So effective learning is as such, right? Can you imagine if you're trying to learn how to hit a tennis ball, but then at the same time you're on your phone, you're like over there trying to get a drink and then you're getting a snack. How effective is that learning? So it's the same as teaching any skill to any child, and it is even more of a thing for speech delay and autistic children. Okay? And the last thing I want to talk about this, talk about is putting yourself first. A lot of parents engage into this ordeal, this journey into solving a problem, and they come up to me and say, ming, you know what? My goal for my child is this. And I will not rest and sleep until I get this done. And I'm like, you know what, man? A girl, a woman, whatever. You got to put yourself first. Because if you don't put yourself first, you're going to, you know, just hit the big brick wall like that. And you're not getting up. Like, you gotta help yourself first. Because I was writing in the email the other day, I was saying how every day after work, for the first, I don't know how many years of therapy, it just felt like hitting a brick wall. Because it's a lot of hard work, right? And if you don't put yourself first, you don't recharge yourself, you don't think about it, and you don't put on that oxygen mask on airplanes to say, oh, cater to yourself first before helping your younger one. This is exactly the thing, right? If you don't have this kind of routine, kind of mindset and that you're not consumed by this whole, your child's condition, which is very hard to do, I must say. It's easy for me to sit here in an air conditioned room telling you about this over the Internet. But I'm telling you, put yourself first, right? Make sure you're well and you're, you're eating well, you're sleeping well, right? So that you can fight a good fight. Make sure that you know that this is going to be a very long fight and then it's a marathon and you don't want to sprint too hard. Okay? You got a consistent work, right? Consistent. Put, putting in the work. Doesn't matter if it's going to be four weeks. We've had that happen before. I'm not going to make any claims here. Four weeks. We've seen multiple children talking. I'm not going to say how many. I'm going to do whatever. I'm just going to say it happened before. The other end of the spectrum also is true. We've seen parents who have gotten their children to start talking in like a year, two years. We don't know. The thing is, we don't know we're driving blind a lot of times. So if you're not ready, you're not into this whole thing, that's fine. If you can find someone to do it for you at a clinic, right? Make sure it's intensive and that they're able to. It makes you feel good when they're teaching your child. Okay? So that's all for today's video. If you haven't and you want to learn more, please go to www.agentsofspeech.com course. There's a whole bunch of free courses there for you, the parent, to learn. It doesn't matter if your child is on the spectrum, having behaviors, having a speech issue, haven't talked yet, all the way to sentence building and beyond. We have a course for you there and inside of those courses there is a huge community of 15,000 parents inside who will answer your questions and cheer you on. All right, that's all. Please watch next video here.