Increasing a Speech Delayed Child’s Attention Span

Hey, this is Ming from agentsofspeech.com we coach parents on how to teach speech delay children at home. Today we're going to talk about how to increase a speech delay child's attention span. So the first thing is that we don't want to use any artificial attention. So what is artificial attention? Look over here. Like turning the child's chin, turning their head to get them to look at you. This is a huge no. The reason is because if you always rely on these artificial attention tactics, the child will get desensitized and they won't think that it's important to look anymore. Because every time you ask for that attention and that attention doesn't get rewarded in a way they don't get rewarded. Right. That's why they will start not listening. And it's the same as, like, advertisements that do a lot of, like, advertisements, people tend to just tune off and start looking at the phone. In the cinema. It's the same thing. When the tv, the adverts come on, everyone walks away, no matter how much popping artificial attention they're trying to push onto us. That's why we don't use it. So you would ask, okay, I get it, Ming. So I cannot twist my child's head or neck or like, try to say, hey, Steven, look over here. Say their name or whatever. Those are frowned upon. And in the therapy industry. So you would say, why? How should I do it then? Well, you need to first of all think about why children don't pay attention is because most of the time, the thing that you're trying to teach or do, it's not something that child wants. So a lot of times what happens is that you're trying to get your child to want to do the thing you want him or her to do, and they don't pay attention is because it's not fun, it's not interesting. So one of the ways that we get a child into the groove, especially those who are on the spectrum, is that we create a routine that is fun for the kid. So, for instance, we can do some singing, their favorite songs. We hold the hand and we sing it together, right? We can do tickling. We can do, like doing fly, like pushing them up and down, you know, lifting them up, swinging them around. These things will create better attention because you're doing the same thing together and your child likes it. All right? A lot of times when a child is not paying attention is because you want something out of them and they can feel it and it's not rewarding for Them. Whereas if you're giving something to them that they want most, probably you will get your child's attention. But the problem is when you do that, that attention doesn't mean you can use it to, to teach speech and language or behaviors or doing homework or whatever, right? How do we get their attention so that we can do the things that we want to do right after we got your child's attention? When you transition into, okay, I can give you this, and at the same time, I want you to do this as well. So there's a trade involved. And anyone who tells you that, hey, you shouldn't ask your child to do stuff or we should follow their lead 100% when teaching language, that is just not sustainable. Because every time you try your best to go into the situation with, like, you turn on your Disney Channel, Mickey Mouse voice, whatever, right? You get their attention, but then when you try to teach, they just run off. So what happens is that you give, give, give, give, give what they want, what they want, what they want, and then you intercept some. You put in some little tasks that are very easy, number one. Number two is that they don't need to do anything because you can prompt them to do it, and then after they finish it, you do what they want to do again. So example would be you are, you know, I don't know, you're doing up and down, up and down, right? Do this a lot with children who are around the age of two and two and a half, because when they get to three and a half, it's really hard to lift off the floor. So at that point, what you want to do is you want to give a few rounds, or you could even use bubbles, to be honest. Anything that will create a routine that your child likes. You do it a few times for free, and then when you want to give more, you stop. And then you tell them to do an action, a gesture that is very easy. Like, for instance, it might be like, say, blow, do this gesture, and then you help them hold their hand and go like that, oh, nice doing, blow. And then you blow some bubbles. Or you teach them up, right? Doesn't need to be two thumbs up. It could be like just up like that. And you hold their hand and prompt them to do that gesture, and your child will be more willing to listen, will be more willing to continue with you. And number three, there's no risk involved on their end because you've done all the work for them. You gave the instruction, you prompted them, you finished the action for them, and then Instantly, you allowed the child to continue with the desirable activity. Right? So you might say, okay, that's all fun and games, right? But then how I want my child to focus right now because, like, one of the questions we get a lot at Agents of Speech is like, my child doesn't focus. They're getting about to get kicked out from school. And a lot of times parents want it, like, right now, I want them to focus right now. Right? So there's no short game in doing this, okay? There really isn't. It's an incremental type of exercise to get their. Their attention and to increase a child's ability to focus and increase the attention span. So attention span, this word. It really depends because a lot of parents will say, oh, my child won't focus on this and that. But then if they're watching the iPad, a video on YouTube, the video is like 10 minutes, and they have super focus on that video. Would you say that they cannot focus? Do they run off in the middle of the video? Do they pause it and do something else and come back? They don't. They finish it, right? So it means a child can actually focus. But the problem is, if that thing isn't super enjoyable, it's gonna be hard for the child to sit there and endure it. So the endurance of listening to you or doing a task is what you define as focus. So we shouldn't say a child cannot focus or the attention span is short. It's just that they cannot put their focus on that. So there's some videos online about ADHD children. And then if you look at a child looking at, like, math problems, their eye tracking is, like, all over the place. But when they're watching Star wars on the same computer monitor, they're fixated on it, and they're. They don't move. Okay? So one of the things is, a lot of parents will ask, does, is my child ADHD or not? Well, I cannot answer that. The test can only be done above five. All right? So don't even think about it right now. There's no point to slowly increase the child's ability to focus. What we need to do is to do micro commitments, right? As I told you, every time you give them something in the. Like, stop a little bit, pause a little bit, ask for something for them to do, preferably something that doesn't involve speaking just yet. Just to get them to do something, pick something up, do an action, whatever, and then slowly increase that. Slowly get them to start talking, right? Imitate some sounds, imitate some words. Bring those high kinetic energy routines onto the table. Start doing some play right in the middle of play, add some words there, right? And then as you move along and your child can sit on the chair in front of the table, start thinking about, okay, can I use this play? And in the middle, I can do some homework or some tasks that involve, that resemble schoolwork. Right? And then use the play as a reward at the back so later on you make it into, like a prolonged period of time where they're doing some work, afterwards, they get to play. So it only works this way. You need to do it slowly. And it's hard for parents because kids already know what they can get away with. A lot of time. A lot of times what happens is that the child is so used to you saying yes and no to things and know what buttons to press in order to keep on going their way. So you have to change. But when you change that way, it's going to upset the child. So you have to do it gradually. You have to come from a place of giving. You have to give, give, give, give, give. Pause a little bit, tell them to do something. Make sure that it's total reversal. Doesn't matter if they do it right or wrong, as long as they listen to you and allow you to prompt. And then they can keep on having that thing. Switch the rewards into something that is doable on the table so it's easier for. For you to later transition into real work. Right. And you increase that focus that way. Okay. And the most important thing is the feedback. And the reward should be the word is contingent, meaning the reward and the feedback. The praises should be about specifically paying attention. You should say, oh, nice staying with mom. Right? Nice playing with that. Nice, you know, like, nice doing, you know, staying with me, sitting on a table. Nice. Nice looking at me. You know, all these words mean something, especially if your child is verbal. Okay. The praise should be contingent on the behavior that you want. All right, so I'm going to stop here. If you want to learn more, we have all the free courses about what kind of play routines you can try, what kind of routines, or, you know, social routines, songs or whatever. You can just go to ww.agentsofspeech.com course. Watch those videos. It's inside of our free community. It's free. Talk to other parents there. We have around 10,000 parents as of this recording inside. So talk there, learn there, and let's communicate there as well. All right, that's all for today's video. I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.