My Current Thoughts About Autism Spectrum Disorder

Hello. So welcome to the Monday Live. Today is a little. It's going to be a little more relaxed. I don't really have much written down as notes, just here to hang out and talk about autism. Okay. And the thing about it is that as I, if you're on the, like, if I send you an email about it, about this live, you must have seen what I've wrote. Like I've said that. Okay? I've been working with ASD children or people for quite some time now and I would like to think that I'm pretty good at understanding them. But recently, speaking as I get like, as I work with more and more clients who are a little more mature and that's because, you know, nowadays everything is on zoom, right? So more of my clients are actually mature students, I would say like, you know, at least primary school, you know. So the thing is, the more I get to know them, the more I understand them as a person. Right? And before, when I work with like children who are two to like six, their needs are rather limited, you know, like, that's why I always say inside of the course, I'm like, of our course, if you want to check it out, it's all in agentsofspeech.com the reason why I say, oh, from 2 to 6 is a good time to do this. The strategies that I talk about, number one, is because I'm more familiar with it, right? Number two is that children of between that age, their needs aren't as complicated. Most of the time they just want something from you or they want to escape from something. And why children become more complex, right, Is because as they grow older, they grow smarter, they kind of understand what they want and don't want and emotionally need, right? And they will become more scared. Okay? And that's just us, right? If we're. When we were kids, we were much more fearless. But, but as we grow older, there's a lot of like social, like, you know, social, social, you know, stuff and aspects that go on in, in our everyday society that makes us rather scared, you know. So I think as children approach, any children approach like primary school, they become more aware of themselves, number one. Okay. And number two is that their cognitive abilities develop, their language police that develop and therefore they can put like more thought. Like they, they start to like write and think in words, right? So I think that really, is that really how that really helps them to develop as a person. Like as their language becomes better and even if they cannot, you know, like, they cannot do so, their language isn't up to par. Children can still think in pictures, right? So the reason why I wanted to do this is because I've been reading this book called the Reason I Jump. The Reason I Jump. And this book I've been holding off for quite some time to read. Actually. I was thinking, dude, I work with them every day. Why do I need to read a book? But the fact about autism spectrum disorder is that all of them, each of them are different and there are similar traits in between. And it's really refreshing to see from someone else's lens, from their look, from their, their perspective. When they tell us, hey, man, you know, they tell me, oh, okay, when this happens, I feel like that, okay? So it frustrates me a lot that, you know, a lot of. Not a lot. But, you know, sometimes parents ask me questions. They're like, oh, why don't they listen? You know, why don't they look at me? Why don't they, you know, they comply. Why are they so naughty? You know, why do they like, become an escape artist and run away? And it's like, it's very difficult to understand it because when we are saying these, we're coming from a point of us being an adult, right? We're coming to, you know, coming to in front of them and say that, hey, this is what I want from you. I want you to listen, I want you to do whatever I want you to. Something, something, something. But in their mind, they're very preoccupied. Okay? So in this book, when I read it, this book, right? The reason I jump this one, when I was reading it, I was like, wow, this, I'm, I'm like just connecting the dots and basically, yeah, so one part of it, it says, oh, why do you like to like put your hands like this, right? And the reason is because like putting like looking through like small lines and like going like that. Apparently what this person says, Naoki Higashida, right? This guy, he says that, you know, it's because the light is too harsh. And then he wants to make it less harsh by doing that so it shades a little bit. So when you do that, you see, oh yeah, it really does reduce the intensity of the light. And then when you ask me when, like when I see that happen to a kid, right? And then parents ask me what's. What's happening here, I'm like, oh, they're self stimulating. And by the way, self stimulating happens to everyone, okay? And when he, when I read that, oh, it's because. To reduce the intensity of the light because he Finds it too harsh. I see it in a lot of children. They do a lot, all right? Even for normal age, like typically developing. Sorry, Typically typically developing, neurologically typical children, they also do these things to cope with, like over sensitivity. Like they have certain conditions and so forth. Right. And for myself, I also have like certain aspects about my ear, okay? My ear, it gets clogged up very easily. Like, clogging as in like the pressure inside it gets very easily not balanced, right? So I always have to like open it up by like. I don't know how to say it. It's like, like swallowing, you know? But I don't do that. I just open it. So if you like look at me long enough, you'll see me doing it, right? So I think it's kind of like that. So stimming or whatever. And all these things that I read before and I learned before, I guess at the end of the day is more about normalizing their sensory. Okay, Normalizing the sensory. And you know, like I would like to say that, you know, it's normalizing sensory number one. And also number two is as I thought, which I want to say I'm so. I got it right. Actually, you know, it's just coincidence, right? So whenever they do something ritualistic, they do something like as like Nabil is saying, like they're playing long strings, self stimulate, similatory, right? Well, after reading the book, the reason I jump, I don't really think it's like self stimulation anymore, right? Because it's not really to do with sensory, okay? Because most of the time it's like they enjoy it because they know it well. And to like children on the spectrum or people on the spectrum, a little change is already too much for them, all right? Just a little change already sets them off. They need safety. And that's why I want to bring it to another point, okay? Self stimulation is most of all very, very misunderstood. Because me, like, me, you, everyone does self military activity, okay? And I'm not saying anything perverted, okay? I'm talking about, you know, when you sing in the shower, that's self stimulating, right? What are you doing it for? Only for yourself. You're enjoying it, right? When you shake your leg when you're sitting down, that's self stimulating, right? Some people play with their hair, okay? Some people, you know, bite the nails, all right? Some people like to like scratch themselves somewhere, okay? Isn't that self stimulating, right? But whether if it's like appropriate or not, that's up to the society to like to deem. Correct or wrong? I mean, it's not appropriate to pick our noses in public. Right. And that's actually self stimulation as well. No, so there are still people who do it, like the elderly, they still, they still pick their nose and, you know, and do whatever and pick their heat in public. Doesn't matter. Well, do we look down on them? Like, do we think, like we use our rulers. Right? We use our rulers to measure upon what is correct or wrong. Okay. And this also reminds me of like a parent who, who commented on a YouTube video before and said, ah, you new therapist, you don't even know, you know, have you ever seen anyone who had a problem and like back in the day, your grandparents who didn't like, catch up or anything in terms of speech and language? Yeah, we never mean that. I mean, at least I don't never. I never mean that. I mean, it's of course it's bad to put our own, like, rulers onto other people who are totally different, you know, who are obviously different. All right. And get back to the point about stimulation. Okay. So sometimes those aren't even self stim. Right. From the book, you can, you can, you can see that, you know, what he's trying to say is that it's comforting. And now I understand because whenever I see a kid on the spectrum who's crying, screaming or whatever or trying to throw a tantrum, I think now thinking about it and analyzing it from, from the kids that I see, I think it's more from fear of the unknown. Right? Because they don't know what you want. They don't know what's happening. They don't know how to get out of it. They don't know how to express themselves. And so they kind of implode on themselves and they try to find something to calm themselves down. All right? So that's why a lot of the tactics work. Okay. When you teach your kid to count down from 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or 20 or whatever, whenever they're, they're having a tantrum, if you do it enough, it becomes a habit and it becomes a ritual for them. It actually calms them down. Or when you sing a song to them. Right? So that's the thing. All right, that's the thing about it. Right. I need to refocus my face. Okay, There we go. Yeah. So it's not always about stimming. Sometimes it's about giving them a way to become comfortable. All right? And after reading the book, I don't think, like, language and speech obviously is an impediment to them. But I don't think that's the whole reason why they don't really want to talk to you. All right, so what happens is that what I think from doing my research and talking to adults who have asd, teenagers who have asd, is that anxiety is really real. Like, it's really. Their anxiety is very high. Okay? Anything can trigger their anxiety to do whatever. And the problem is that they have. Their memory works kind of different from us. And no matter how much mindset stuff I do with them, like, counseling stuff I do with them, sometimes they cannot, like, walk away from a really bad experience. No matter. You had a hundred good experiences and you only have one. Okay, what. What book am I referring to? Is this one, like, the. The Reason I Jump? Okay. It's pretty popular. Okay, so this is a Japanese ASD person who wrote this with the letterboard. He can't talk it, so he used that to, like, point it out. The Reason I Jump. Okay, so. Oh, Aisha, I see your question, but today we're not talking about adhd. Go to streamline score and inclusive score. Well, I don't know. Really depends, man. I mean, you can. You can. You know, it depends, really. I cannot tell you. Aisha, you need to seek for professional help about that. And for adhd, you also need medication. Okay, So I cannot answer because it depends. Really depends. There's, you know, there's severe, there's mild, there's moderate. Does it affect academic whatever? You know, you can't ask me that. I don't know. All right, Someone who. Who can physically see and do tests to your child. To your child and see if, you know, he or she decides that. Oh, after looking at all the data and doing all the research, if your child can try, like a mainstream school. Right? Okay, let's go back to the topic about the book. Right? So, like, anxiety is so crazy. And, like, they. No matter if you build 100 good memories, just one bad memory, they will remember it forever. Okay? And sometimes when those memories come. Come up, they just go into, like, a hole. All right? And that's why. And that's why I think. I think in my opinion, I might be wrong. Okay? That's why they like the spinning stuff, right? The stuff that really cool images, all right? The really big, like, the small details and objects, because that's a rabbit hole in itself, right? So let's say that, you know, inside the book, he says, I'll try to quote him or something. Right? But it's kind of difficult. Let me see yeah. So the thing is, he asks, oh, this is good, I'll talk about that later. Right, about lining up stuff, Right? So he asks if, like, do they, like, how do you look at something when you see first? Right? So he says, so how do people with autism see the world exactly? We, and only we can ever know the answer to that one. Sometimes I actually pity you for not being able to see the beauty of the world in the same way we do. Really? Our vision in the world can be incredible. Just incredible. You might reply, but your eyes all used to look at things, work the same way, right? Fair enough. You might be looking at the exact same thing as us, but how we perceive them appears to be different. When you see an object, it seems you see it as an entire thing first, right? Afterwards, do its details follow on. But for people with autism, details jump straight out of. At us first of all. And then gradually, detail by detail, does the whole image, short of sort of flow into focus? Okay, so that means they can never. They cannot. They need it. It's a learned skill for them to. I cannot say for all autism children because it's a spectrum. It's different. Mild, moderate, severe, Imperial, know, people call it levels in some places and, you know, you really cannot say. But I would say that at least for him, learning to see a big picture is a skill that sometimes I have to teach children on the spectrum. And how you do that is like, it's just on all aspects, they focus on details and go into a rabbit hole. Okay. And they cannot think in other perspectives. They can only think the way that they see. All right? And that's not their fault. They're made that way. And don't ask me why they're made that way. I don't know why. And if you ask me, oh, did autism, was it here back in the day? Like, why is it only surfacing now? Why is there like every like 20 something person? Like, I, I think when I start working, it was every 54 people there was one on the spectrum. I'm not, I'm not sure about now. Maybe it's a little bit more. Why is it increasing? Why is it everything, right? I don't know. I really don't know. But the thing I really wanted to talk to you guys about is what I learned from here. So the other day I had a student who just focused on one detail no matter what I said, and that detail was actually a bad memory from before. I'm going to spare the bad details here. And it basically, like, I'll just Say it real quick. Okay. It's just. Basically, it's just a bad teacher, a bad therapist from before that create a bad memory, okay? And no matter how much counseling or psychotherapy or trying everything, it's very difficult for her to, like, pull out of that thinking, right? And another one is like. And if you think about that, and like a little kid being scared of a razor, a little kid being scared of a rubber band, a little kid being scared of water, a little kid being scared of. You know, what else are they scared of? Scissors maybe? Right? They're scared of toothbrushes. Well, it's because of one bad experience that has made them that way. All right? That is why when I teach or when we teach children, desensitizing certain objects really work because it helps them learn that it can be generalized. Not all of these items are bad. Not all these items will bring back that feeling. They overgeneralized it, that all of these items are like murder machines or something, Right? Okay. So let's get that out of the way. Remember, whenever you create a bad memory for a child on the spectrum, it's very difficult to tell them that, hey, that's not the case, man. Like, just. You would know if you're trying to cut a child on the spectrum, like, the hair, you know, like, you use a razor and. Or even, like a. Like a scissor, it will freak them out because. Because one time maybe you were, like, holding them down and just wanted to get the thing done. All right? And you know what happens when children of these on the spectrum, like, if you have too much physical contact, it actually freaks them out. It's not because, like, on the nerve endings are too, like, sensitive or anything, but there's actually their perception of that sensory. All right? That makes them freaked out, okay? It might be okay for us, right? But then at the same time, it really freaks them out. So another example for me, my personal experience is that my ears are quite sensitive. So if the stuff is too loud, things inside actually rattle. And I think it's because I did some research. It's because. Because the bones inside got a little, like, loose or something. I'm not entirely sure. If you're a medical profession, please tell me. I need help, right? But, like, just think about it. Like, these sensory evokes some sort of emotion from them. If something's too loud, I can tell you, I can say, hey, it's too loud. I'm gonna hang out over there. I'm gonna cool down, right? It's too much for me, right? But they cannot express themselves. And the more they cannot express themselves, the more they explode inside and they cannot, like, do anything. Right. It's just very frustrating. That's why they have a meltdown. Okay, so now the next thing I want to talk about is to talk about lining up stuff. So I think this is quite eye opening to me. I thought they lined up stuff. I didn't think there was a reason, actually. I thought it was just fun. Right. So it kind of confirmed it. So in the book, the Reason I Jump, I had to look at the title again. Sorry. Lining Up Things is the best fun. Watching Running Water is great fun, too. Other kids seem to enjoy games about pretending and make believe, but as a person with autism, I never really see the point of them. What I care about, in fact, I'm pretty obsessive about this, is the order of things come in and the different ways of lining them up. It's actually the lines in the surface of things, like jigsaw puzzles that we love and things like that. When we're playing in this way, our brains feel refreshed and clear. Yeah. So I really think a brain of an autistic person is much different from. From ours. You know, we look at things and we enjoy certain curves, certain lines, certain, you know, certain colors for them. They have a whole different preference. Right. And this, you can probably, like. You can just totally see it, you know, the stuff that they, like, we probably don't care. The stuff that they watch, they can watch a thousand times. They're not care. They don't, like. They're totally not, like, frustrated about it, you know? So at the end of the day, what I learned the most from, like, this year, like, and I want to share with you guys, is that children who are on autism spectrum, what we're trying to put them through, and our understanding is very little. If only your child could talk to you, you would know what the heck's going on. But most of the time, we are trying to play a game where, number one, we're guessing why that is happening. Right. Number two, we are trying to teach them language without understanding that. So we're kind of like trying to find something and then to put it in the right place, but at the same time, we don't know if that fits or not. You know what I'm saying? So Aileen says, read Temple Grandin's book. I know. I know about her. I know about her. Yeah. I am trying to get her book right. But at the same time, I think her language is far too Advanced to be of exact value to my situation sometimes. And I did watch her videos online, and she said something that. I totally agree, and I think it's totally correct in terms of linguistics, my field. Right. So she said that, you know, like, when she was young, when language wasn't developed, when she thought about a house, she thought about one specific thing, Right. She didn't think of like a typical, like a stereotypical or, you know, if we're doing saying something more technical, it's like an archetypal house is like, you know, like. Like that and then with like a box at the end and a chimney with smoke. Right. We would think that way. Right. But for children on the spectrum, when you say house, they think of one house. Right? Right. And that's the thing about. The thing about, like, children on the spectrum who do not understand language totally yet. Right. And I totally agree with Temple on that, and I probably will read her book later on. But at the same time, at the same time, her language is too much, you know? You know, like, I cannot. Like, she's already past that phase where I think I would get the most from. But anyways, I will do. So what she said about the specific house thing, the scenario I was talking about is very true. So we can use that to teach children. So remember, Remember what I taught inside of, like, the courses and what I tell you guys here on Facebook and YouTube is that when you teach a word, don't just use flashcards, right? If you use. Need to use flashcards, use like two or three different versions of it so that they won't, like, just like, overgeneralize or just stick to. Not even overgenerized. Just stick to one thing and only think that that's a cup, right? This is a cup. This is the only cup in the world. That's the worst. I will. Eileen, I will read it. So, yeah, at the end of the day, you need to make sure and understand why. What you're doing what you're doing. So in terms of word learning words and learning language and learning, like, new, new vocab and so on, you have to understand that, you know, words are like a spider word, spider web, right? So one word is connected to another and in, like, different ways, right? So if you say like, for instance, a cup of is, I don't know, is made up. Is for drinking water. Is for, you know, it's made of ceramic. In my case, it's round at the top and it holds water. Right? So all these things are semantics, are meaning towards a word. And autistic children or people, they don't understand that link sometimes. That's why their literal language stays literal. They cannot talk about figurative. Because if I talk about like a word figuratively, right? So, for instance, I always talk to one of my students, I always say, that's right. And then she would say, what's left? Then, you know, it's totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, very wrong, you know. So, you know, sometimes it's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. So, like, I, I, I, I will talk, I, I'll want, I'll read it and then I'll think, I'll see how it goes for me, you know. But, you know, at the same time, every autistic mind is rather different, I would believe. And we can only try to, like, try to understand, you know. So if we have one around our lives, you know, try to understand them, try to see from their lenses, try to like, understand that what they're doing is not because they're naughty, right? Not because they're trying to, you know, pick a fight, right? Not like when, when they cannot control the impulses to do something, it's because of intense emotion, intense fear, intense excitement, you know, intense happiness sometimes, okay, so, you know, and it can go like totally 180 degrees, right? It could be intense sadness, intense anger. So don't think that they can really control all that much. In fact, most of the time when I talk to children on the spectrum, a lot of them get labeled as apraxia of speech. And the reason why for that, if you're not familiar with apraxia, speech doesn't matter. So what it really means is just that if someone cannot really control their mouth when they're talking, people will start to suspect. People as in people like me. We will start to suspect that, dude, maybe it's practical speech because there's a real problem with their motor planning or something. But the thing about children who are on the spectrum, they really do not have much control on the limbs even. I remember teaching a child on the spectrum, like three or four years old, taught him like, how to clap hands. Taught me like, took me like a whole week, man. So, you know, if, if you think about that, how easy clapping hands are, just think about talking, it's near impossible. You know how many muscles there are inside of, of the mouth? I don't even know. I don't even, I don't even know. And like, the tongue is such a small, like a, it's like a really fine motor thing, right? So it's very Important. The tongue is the most important thing for you to speak, right? So just think about the name. Like, the tongue we in Old English is called lingual, right? Or lingus or whatever it's called, right? But if you think about it, that's exactly the word for, like, linguistics. That means, you know, whatever, that the study of, like, words of meaning. It's about the tongue. Like, you speak what tongue? Right? Back in the day, you would ask, what. What tongue do you speak? Okay, so that's probably the end of today. I know that this is a little more haphazard, a little more unstructured, but. And I probably missed out some stuff that I wanted to talk about as. As well. I just wanted to go off the cuff and talk about, you know, what I learned about autism. And, you know, the whole ASD thing, the whole autism thing really shaped my career. What if it wasn't for that I met some of the kids that I met in my first, like, real job. I don't think I would have, you know, pursued this. And no way that I'm making so much of, like, failure video and stuff. Because it's fun, all right? I think it's fun. I think it's fun to teach children. I think it's very fun to teach children who have, like, intense tantrums and intense and weird behavior. I think it's fun, you know, and I hope that. I know it's frustrating at home, but I hope that one day, like, when you see your kid do something really weird, you have the heart to laugh at it. Because from what I see, the children, the moms, the dads, the therapists who do, like, the best work or like to have the best time with the children are those that would laugh, that would smile instead of, like, scolding. I know, like, sometimes we feel what it's happening again. We need to learn to, like, see the joke in it, learn to see the interesting side of it, the fun of it, and to understand they're not doing it to make us angry at all. They have no sort of control over it. And the last point, I suddenly remember I should have written it down. One thing that this person says a lot, this guy. And this is basically like, Eileen, this book, the reason I jump, right? Like, the reason why I might. I wasn't very, like, after listening to Temple Grandit, right? I wasn't, like, very into it because she could express herself very well, all right? But people like this one, this Naoki Higashida, right? And some of my students, they cannot express themselves nicely and one thing that they said all in common is that they wasn't. They didn't ask to be come, like to come into this world and put us through an ordeal. You know, they didn't say that they didn't want that. And they just want to crawl back. If there was a way to crawl back into the mother's womb, they would, you know, it's that serious. So if we think about it, they really are a victim more than us. Right? And I would. I'm actually pretty. I feel pretty happy that I get to live, learn about this kind of stuff because, you know, it's interesting and it's fun. And it's fun to see them have like, some sort of progress, see them to start being able to say things that they didn't before, able to say sounds that they couldn't before, you know, play with people, like, legit, like, properly. So, you know, I hope that you can see that they really aren't doing it. We need to, like, make us, like to put us through hardship. We need to have the heart to understand they don't want it as much as we don't want it, you know, and we're all in. In it together for some reason that only God knows probably. Right? So anyways, that's all I wanted to share with you guys today. Most probably some of my insights about autism is not that accurate. I mean, it's just me talking to people and books and stuff, but nobody knows as much as anyone knows nowadays since we have the Internet and stuff. And if you agree, then you agree. If you don't agree, then let me know. If you have any thoughts, then, you know, let me know. And we all have our rights to talk about it, right? As long as we're not putting down anyone and not putting down children of, you know, on the spectrum, and we're not putting down the people who are trying to help. That's all. Okay, so that's all for tonight. Thank you for hanging out, guys, and I will talk to you guys next week. Cool. See ya.