Ming (@ Agents of Speech) advises parents to prevent children’s problem behaviors by making desired items inaccessible (locking away toys, snacks, drinks) so children must communicate or behave to gain access. The strategy frames caregivers as gatekeepers who deliver rewards contingent on good communication, using controlled access to teach why the child should communicate.
Why you should lock your things up inside of your house. Are there any toys, snacks, drinks, items that will trigger your child's bad behavior? Maybe when he wants chocolate, he'd run and open the cabinet for it and you have to chase him and hold him or like say, no, no, no, no, don't run. And then it becomes a bad experience for everyone. So remember, preventing this type of behavior starts with putting them away, putting them locked up, or just deleting them from existence. Make it inaccessible. Why we want to do that? The second reason is because we want them to have good things, access those things that they not through crying or throwing a tantrum. I want them to have access to the good things in life through you. And that means that they understand, oh, the reason why I have to talk, have to communicate is because mom or dad always has the rewards and the good things as long as I behave and talk and communicate well. So you have to make the opportunity out of these kind of situations when you can only access those things. You have the power because you're controlling those things and you can give it to them when the good behavior arises.
