Why Speech Delayed Children Hand Pull? | www.agentsofspeech.com/micro

Hello. Welcome to our Monday Lives. Today I'm gonna talk about a topic about, like, maybe every parent who has a child who's kind of delayed will face this problem, which is hand pulling. Okay? And I'm here to tell you, first of all that these. This hand pulling is a sign, okay? It's a symptom. It's not something like, because your child hand pulls, it means that they're delayed. Not like that, okay? And it's the same for a lot of things, especially related to autism spectrum disorder. You see on Internet, like, where people say, like. Or maybe you've seen, like, Facebook posts or whatever saying that, oh, if your child is hand pulling, they don't have eye contact, they don't like to play toys or whatever, those are signs for autism. I'm not here to say that those are symptoms. Those are signs, okay? And I'm saying this to ease you and to also to try my best to explain to you. That's just like, for instance, Covid. Right, COVID 19, that we're experiencing right now. Having a. A cold, having a headache, having a fever, having diarrhea. These are all symptoms it shares with COVID and flu, okay? And. And just like, general flu. So it's the same as hand pulling, eye contact and whatnot. Okay? So. So I want to get that out of the way. I'm not saying that if your child is hand pulling, it means that they're delayed or it means that they are on the spectrum or with any type of disorder. Okay? This is a huge disclaimer and a caveat. You have to understand hand pulling isn't. It's just a symptom. It doesn't mean that something bad is happening to your kid, all right? But it's something that tells you something. Okay? And what hand pulling is is that your child is trying to tell you something and pull you towards the thing that they want without talking. Okay? And this thing I've seen in a lot of children from, like, 2 years old all the way up to, like, 14, I would say, or maybe in some cases, adults do that as well. And the reason why people in general pull your hand or guide or whatever you call it, there are some professionals outside that would want to change the language I use. Like, maybe like, especially when I say bribing, they say, don't bribe. Not bribe, like reward or like hand pulling, they say, oh, no, you mean hand guiding or whatever. Doesn't matter about the name. Okay? Well, what it is, is the action of holding your hand and putting it towards a Desired item or activity or whatever, okay? A desired thing, okay? And the camera is not focusing on me anyways. Not about me anyways. So hand pulling is when they want something so bad that they. And they are too lazy to talk, and I put it in quotes, is because no one is too lazy to talk, to be honest. Like there might be, but the reason why they're too lazy is because it's too hard for them. They don't know how to. And no one is teaching them so. Or no one is accommodating to them. So that's why they are pulling your hand. Okay? So I've seen this in many cases. Let me tell you a quick story. So there was a nonverbal child that I taught right when I first came to Jakarta. And she was. She. I'm not going to tell you any more details. All right? So she went to a wedding banquet and then she really loves eating, right? So she went towards the waiter and then pulled his hand. It was a buffet, by the way. Pulled his hand to like a cake and then the waiter gave it to her. And you might think, why doesn't she just grab it? Why does she have to pull someone's hand? Okay? In some cases pulling your hand means asking for a permission, asking for your help. So there's a lot of different like functions to the hand pulling, okay? It's not just that they don't know how to talk. There's a lot of functions. When you like really observe, you will see they're asking for your help. They're initiating some sort of communication with you, right? They are requesting for that object. They're getting your attention, right? All these things are different. They might be saying hi, okay? It might be that they need your like soothing or like they need. They feel scared and they start pulling on your hand or you know, whatever. So you have to know that there's more than one reason why children do it, okay? And you have to know the reason in order to tell them what's a more appropriate way of expressing that need. Okay? So that's number one thing, you have to know why. And that's something that you as the mom or the dad, 90% of people who watch this as a mother, so hi moms. And you will know, all right? So it might be that, you know, they're asking for permission. Like that non verbal child who. I'm not saying that whoever pulls your hand is going to be nonverbal. I'm not saying that, okay? I just want to get that out of the way every Some people like to say that I'm spreading fear or whatever. I'm not. I'm just telling you what I know and what I think is the truth. Okay? I'm not saying that if a child pulls your hand, they won't be able to speak, okay? Sometimes even fully verbal children will pull your hand. And that's because sometimes they get too scared. And that happens to us as well, right? If we are very like high anxiety, high stress, we kind of don't want to talk or we lose our competence in talking, okay? So we can. We need to think about that. Okay? So number one, know why your child is pulling a hand. Like analyze it and know what's he trying to do? Getting my attention, asking for permission, asking for my help, requesting for that item, or all of the above. Then once you know and then you can teach them a more appropriate way of doing it. Okay? So that's number one. But why they keep on pulling is because it's a loop, okay? It's a loop. So what I mean by loop, the story is always the same, okay? And I've seen this, I've said about this a million times. That's why I made like the micro course inagents of speech.com. so if you haven't joined it, there's like over a thousand parents who have gone through it right now, okay? So click on it and look at what other parents are saying. You don't have to go through it if you don't want to. You can watch these videos all as much as you want. But there are examples inside of how parents are doing with that vice that I'm talking about right now. So what I mean by loop is that it becomes a behavior, right? It becomes a habit to pull your hand to there. And then you say something like, oh, what do you want? Oh, chocolate, right? Here you go, chocolate. And then it becomes a loop because to some extent the pulling actually worked. Okay? No matter if you say, you keep on repeating to the kid, say chocolate, Say cookie. Say, I don't know, say tv, say remote. Every time you say it, it's ignored. Or they pull harder or they start crying a little bit. I'm not saying all kids are like that. Some kids actually try, but they go, ah, like that. So you have to understand it becomes a loop. So it becomes a whole routine. First of all, they pull your hands voice there. And then mom has to say, what do you want? And then he just looks or just doesn't look and keeps on pulling. Every kid and mom and dad are a Little different. Or even the helper or grandparents, right? So in their brains, they believe to get that thing they want, first of all, they have to pull your hand over, listen to your question or listen to your request of you saying, hey, say this word or hey, do this, do that, right? They believe in their minds that this is a routine, a ritual. Okay, what we. On our YouTube channel or actually in the Facebook, on our Facebook page, we recently did a video about, like, why children, like, go into tantrums and whatnot. And this is exactly the thing, okay? They are rewarded for pulling your hand because at the end of the day, they started with the hand pulling and at the end of it, they got that. They got the thing they wanted, all right? And it's the same like, if you've ever seen an elderly, someone who is over 50 years old and haven't been using, you know, a computer, you know, enough. What they, what they will do is like something very simple, is that they go through the whole step because they don't really understand the whole thing. So, for instance, if someone tries to search, like, go inside the Gmails, right? Or their email accounts, right? They first go to like, I remember what happened back then when I saw one of my friend's dad go on to like Hotmail back then he would go to like google.com, type hotmail, click on the first search and like result, go like, go up top and then go to another page. So he would go through all these steps and then like, he would go to his Word file where he stored his password, copy it, and then paste it there. You know? You know, he go through everything like that. But all you have to do was just to bookmark it, right? All you have to do is bookmark and save password. And he didn't need to do the whole routine, but he didn't he. In his mind, that was the only way that would work. So it's the same as your child, okay? It's the same with your child, the same as your pets, the same as everyone who doesn't really truly understand the process and therefore do each of the steps. Because they think, oh, if I missed, if I miss this up, if I don't start the process like this, the whole thing is going to screw up. So therefore, the hand pulling becomes like what we call an antecedent, right? It becomes. What's that called? Like a prerequisite. Like something to happen before it must happen in order for them to get the reward. All right? So what you need to do now is to understand you have to break all of that. You cannot let them pull your hand. You have to hold the reward right in your hand already to show them and let them see it so that they don't have to pull your hand towards the cabinet. All right? That's the second thing I want to talk about, is that you have to break the routine. Break it up. Don't let them pull your hand, man. Go have the reward in your hand already so that you can teach more acceptable way to talk to you. Okay? And I say talk doesn't. Like, whenever you. You ask your child, like, say whatever. Oh, say, say mommy first. Like, say, you know, say give me cookie or whatever that you're trying to ask your child to do, which is being ignored, right? All this becomes noise, all right? It becomes noise because all in your child's mind, if you think about it, he doesn't really truly understand the whole process. So what he does is he pulls you over, right? And then he thinks that you must say those questions and he must ignore you, and he must stand there for a little bit and cry a little bit in order to get what he wants. The whole thing, the whole sequence is rewarded. Okay? So start afresh. Have the rewards next to you. Have the stuff he wants next to you. And then don't even let him pull you. Teach him something else. Teach them to talk. And when I say talk, I mean just to communicate. So you can always start off with gestures. And if you search within the YouTube channel, like how to teach a child to call you mama, right? That thing is actually covered in the micro course. So if you haven't, you should go check it out, right? Micro course. Agentsofspeech.com Michael so inside of there, you will see in the free YouTube video, I mean, and how to teach your child to call you mama. You will see that the mom is using gestures to teach the child. And one of the things that you see is that there's no hand pulling, right? Why is that? It's because the thing he wants is already in front of him, right? It's already in front of him. So no matter how the kid pulls or tries to grab or whatever, it doesn't work. Okay? So you first have to break that routine. Let them know that this is not working anymore. You need to tell them that this doesn't work anymore. Okay, so let me tell you, like, what to do now. So first of all, start with gestures. Why do we start? Why do. Why does Ming always talk about gestures? Why do, like, whenever I go on to agents of Speech, like he always talks about gestures and whatnot. What not. Okay, first of all, it's a pre linguistic skill. It's a pre linguistic. So if you don't know what that is, just search on YouTube or Google. There are loads of professionals who do a lot of explaining of that. I don't want to because it's too like, theoretical and a little too, I don't know, it's just theory, man. So what pre linguistic skills are is that, you know, some prerequisite skills you must have in order like to speak better or successfully start speaking. Okay? It's just like if you want to learn running, you got to learn how to walk, right? So gestures is one of the easiest things you can start with. And the reason number two is because gestures have a lot of meaning, okay? Pulling your hand is a gesture. In fact, it's so effective of a gesture that it sticks and they keep on using it. Okay? So teach them something else, like tapping you, right? If you see inside of the YouTube video of the how to, you know, call them like say, say mama. That video, the tapping works, okay? When they try to grab you, turn it into a tap and then give them the thing they want. So right there it becomes fast. You're not rewarding any of the, any like unrelated actions, right? If they tap you and then you talk something, they will think that, oh, now I have to tap mom and then wait for her to say something and then I get the reward. Then you won't have that initiative. Okay? So be very clear on what you are rewarding. So number one, try out the tapping. Number two, like do some open palm. We talk about that a lot, okay? Like just instead of snatching or pulling your hand or whatever, they put their hand out and just wait for you, okay? This is very important because when you can get them to like, wait, this is when this is the best time to teach, okay? The best time to teach. Okay? So, and then the third problem I see a lot is, is this hand pulling. Only like, let's say that, you know, you go through a whole struggle of pulling, you know, your child pulling you over to the kitchen, you know, like trying to climb up the kitchen counter and whatnot, right? This dude, this is not cool. My camera is not focusing anyways. I don't want to waste anyone's time here. I'm just going to keep on talking. If it's a little blurry, I look better. Oh, here we go. Okay, so they try to climb on the counter. You try to say, hey, stop it. No, that's not right. All this kind of sequence, the whole thing gets rewarded. But the thing is, they only go through it once. So that one time is not enough for them to unlearn it. Number one. And number two, that only one time, there's not enough data, not enough information for the child to understand what the real sequence is. So for him, it feels like it's a random sequence. Sometimes he has to try to climb on the counter, sometimes he has to cry, sometimes he has to pull you. It becomes too random. So the tip number three is to once you teach the gestures to, like, for him to get the rewards, right? To get the stuff he wants, you need to do it multiple times in one sitting. Okay? Don't do it like only one time, because how is someone going to learn something is by repetition. And I guess a lot of us, including me in the beginning when I just started as a therapist, I would take it for granted. Ah, you did it one time. That's cool. You should learn it. But no, children don't work that way. I mean, like, especially children who are slightly delayed, right? And the reason why they're delayed is because they don't understand, okay? I think a lot of parents run in a problem is that they don't understand that they don't understand, okay. That maybe you are taking his understanding a little for granted. Okay, I'm saying this from a position of respect. I understand that this might not be your first rodeo as a parent, or maybe that this might not even be your second child. This might be a third child. I've seen it multiple times. But what I'm trying to tell you here is that if your child is able to learn through these random events, like typically developing children, then they would have gotten it. It's just that their pattern recognition, like their ability to recognize what works and what doesn't work, there's something going on. You know, he needs a little, or she needs a little more help telling them that, okay, this is what's going to happen. So therefore, you need to keep on doing it, okay? So once you have the reward in front of you, make him the small bits and just keep on teaching him. Oh, this is the gesture you want to do. Tap, tap, tap. Oh, here you go. Tap, tap, tap more. Tap, tap, tap more. Right? So the more you do it, the better it gets, the better they become using gestures. And you might say, okay, then why then when do we ask our child to talk? Well, obviously, is that. Remember I just said we want your child to be able to wait and sit Nicely and just look at you, right? Or not look at you, or just, you know, quietly waiting, waiting nicely, then that's the time to try. Okay? And I guess the problem here is that we always set the difficulty too high. Remember in a previous, like a lot of videos, I always say there's only two reasons why a kid doesn't do something or anyone doesn't do something is because they don't know how to or they don't want to. So since we already have the rewards in our hands, which eliminates the fact that they might not want to, okay? If they didn't want to, they wouldn't be pulling your hand, right? So there must be a motivation, they must want it. Then it must be they don't know how to. So whenever you say like, ah, say cookie or like, tell me first, say ice cream first, right? Why aren't they doing it? That's because they don't know how to, okay? They didn't understand and now you made them understand by like telling them the gesture, stopping their whole sequence of like hand pulling, climbing the counter, or running around, throwing a tantrum. You deleted all of that and told them that this is the gesture you need to do, right? This is the only thing you need to do. So when you increase to a speech, like speech sound, as we call it, or a word, a spoken word, it might be too big of a jump, okay? And I don't like if a child doesn't know how to do something, you don't jump all the way there analogy is that you are learning to do yoga, right? First of all, you're just doing like some simple stretching and then suddenly you have to do like the splits. There's nothing in between, okay? For a child who is slightly delayed or on the spectrum or whatever it is, okay, Whoever who isn't speaking yet, if you go from gestures to like, or babbling or alien language, whatever you like how it's described as, you know, a lot of alien language, babbling, although that's not really the term. But anyways, so from there to like really talking in like a word or two, that's too far of a gap. And I see parents will actually ask this question. He's like, I don't understand. I've been reading the Bible to my kid for a very long time. They just won't pray with me. I mean, she hasn't even spoken a word yet. Of course she can't pray, right? So you need to be careful about like, can you catch yourself whenever it happens? Because it even happens to me, okay? I'm saying that sometimes we forget we're taking their ability for granted. And where you should start off from a gesture, once you get your child to, like, say only one sentence, like, not say, like. Use a gesture to tell you what they want. Maybe it's, like, open. Maybe it's like, close. Maybe it's lights. Maybe it's like, more. Maybe it's. Give all these gestures. They can do it. Now, when you ask them to do, like, a word, it might be too high for them. So simplify the word until it becomes like, a sound. Like, you can accept a lower, you know, a slightly less, well, you know, formed word. You know, for instance. For instance, if it's open, if they can't do the whole word, then just go with O or pen or, like, just o, right? Simple vowels, in fact. Okay? And that's why when. If you go to speech therapy, a lot of therapists, they start off with animal sounds, okay? Because it's easy to say it. There's a meaning to it. It's funny. It's repetitive, okay? And this is where you have to know, okay? So gestures. After that, try some, you know, vowel sounds. Try some, like, make sure that you make the words easier and you accept it. As long as they say it. Okay? Even if it's wrong, you should reward them. Okay? And I see all the time as that, oh, I don't want to give up. Like parents, they don't want to give up. And then in their minds, it's like, I know they can. So I'm going to push them, you know, I'm going to push them. They're going to say this word right? Now, I won't accept anything lower than the standard you have in your brain, right? I'm not saying that's wrong. That's totally correct. I'm the same as you. I don't want them to only use that much like sounds by themselves, right? I want them to say the whole word. So what you do is, like, you take a progressive approach. Remember the yoga thing, right? A simple downward dog is easy. Doing a whole split is super hard with your legs, right? So why don't you slowly increase the difficulty, right? Why don't you do that? And then, for instance, let me take, like, open, for example, like, gesture, like this, right? And then the next difficulty step would be O, right? If they can't do that, then do. All right, let's say that they can do O, right? And then after that, you can say open. If they can do it, right? And then so each successive trial, remember, you have to do it more than one time for the requesting. You break into small parts, and you keep on giving. Each time you increase the difficulty level by a little bit, just a tiny little bit, until they can do the splits. As you know, if you had the experience of pulling, what do you call that? Stretching. There you go. Stretching. You know that every centimeter, it goes by centimeters, right? So that's the same mindset you have to have for your child. Your standards can be high, but every step is like a centimeter, a centimeter slowly up to that final form. Okay. Don't start with sentences. Start with words. Words don't work. Go down to sounds. Sounds don't work. Just do the gestures. Okay. Until they can do it themselves. Okay, so let's answer some questions, and then let's call it a night, guys. Okay, so I think this is Ali, I guess, says my son can sing nursery rhymes, can say all the Alphabet numbers, but he can't say mom or daddy holds my hand for everything and can't speak at all. Yep. So if your son can already use words for other reasons, other. For other than like, telling you, then you really need to teach him, have some rewards next to you, get the stuff that he wants next to you, and then try out what I just said. I've laid it out even better inside of the micro course, so you can check it out, Ali. Or if you're in it already, then hallelujah. But what that means is that you shouldn't tell him to. First of all, you don't ask him to repeat after you, okay? Because remember how he learned to sing the nursery rhymes or the alphabets? Did someone tell him to repeat after. Like, did the YouTube tell him to do that? No, it's through repetition, through funness. Right. And that all the YouTube that think about, like, how YouTube is, like, how all the songs are, how the nursery rhymes are. Why does he know the Alphabet and numbers so well? Is because someone says it over and over again at the right time. Like having the right picture on the. On the screen. And he makes the link between it. And therefore he becomes obsessed with it, because that's the only thing that he truly knows, like, he truly understands is that, oh, that's a one, that's a two, that's an Alphabet. Right. And we all. Everyone tends to go. Go towards the things that they. They understand the most. And they don't feel comfortable when someone tests them about something they don't understand. So think about that as your child, as a normal Human being. Okay. You wouldn't be very comfortable if I suddenly like put you on live with me and ask you a bunch of questions about like phonetics. Right. You wouldn't be able to answer and you wouldn't want to kind of ignore me. So it's kind of like that for him. Okay, so have some rewards. Teach him some simple gestures. And if you haven't joined a micro course, there's loads of parents who go through the same thing as you. Let's see what Autumn says or dates. I don't know which one it is. Okay, so my 3 year old has difficulty pronouncing words like fire. The right side of his pulls tighter than the left. We do practice on one word a day. He tried. Okay, wait a minute. He tries for a comment, then gets giggly. I don't understand why he pulls tighter than the left. His right side. You mean his tongue or his. Or his lips or which one? Okay. Showing how the sounds work by pointing their mouth. But he giggles and just tries. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Like if you tell me like that. Yeah, okay. His mouth. Right. Okay, cool. So I'm not sure what you mean by he cannot say the word fire or fire truck. Is it that he screws up the F sound like he can't go like or I don't know which one is it? You got to tell me which sound it is so that I and how he says it so that I can have a better idea in answering your question. All right. Especially for speech sounds, pronunciation, it's all about learning their pattern and thinking about why. And that's why it's better if you see a physical speech therapist, like there to like do sounds like dio. Wait a minute. Fire becomes dio. That's very off. So what I would say is like try. If he has all the sounds individually, does he has. Does this. Can he say I like fire? Can he does. Can he say that the vowels there like I. Okay, try it out, man, and let me know. All right. You need to know, like whenever a child cannot say a word, can you break it down and do its individual sounds and can he say it? And when he says those individual sounds, is it erroneous? Is it wrong and how wrong is it? Okay, that's something we must all know in order to have any type of solution. So Kelly says, hi, Kelly. My two year old can repeat the first part of a word. Is it a known problem? For example, 2.2kaka. Trudge tray. Tray for trailer, I guess. Yeah. For yellow. Yeah. Is That a known problem? Well, I'm not sure. A lot of kids who are having problems with that are. Actually, they don't. There are a few, like ways we can think about it. Number one is that he knows he cannot say the whole thing, so he just repeats the first syllable. Right? Or is that he cannot really hear the whole thing correctly in order to have a good try at it. Okay, so what I mean by that is like, for example, I am now in Indonesia. Someone says to me like a word that I've never heard before. And I can demonstrate to you very easily. I can just say to you a word that you've never heard before in another language, for instance. Let me think about it. The thing I'm thinking about is too easy. But anyways, so like in Indonesia, people like say to me really fast a word and I can only catch the first few sounds. And I believe that's the same as children. So what I would say to you is like, can you put your two finger, like three or four, like the number of syllables with the fingers up? And then tell him to repeat each sound one by one. What happens then? Okay, for example, yellow. Can you go yellow? Yellow. And then go. You go yellow. Try that. Right? So Vivi says, hi, Vivi, my son like hand pulling me if he wants something. So if you say more gestures will help. What examples is a gesture? Right? So Vivi, the example, I've given quite a few. Okay, So I would say that you would should start off with the open hand like that. He should do that and then you give it to him instead of him pulling you or snatching it from you. Right? So try that. Okay. And there are more instructions inside of the micro course. If not, you can check out the video on YouTube or Facebook. Depends where you search. Right? It's a video called how to teach your child to say mama. I think inside of the agents of speech YouTube channel. Okay, but seriously, if your child is pulling your hand, if you're in the micro course, go watch it. It's video number five. Okay? It tells you exactly what gestures you need. Just basically it's just tapping. Do the open gesture and then like the handout, like that. Or eat. Or you know, it really is up to how your child is like. Okay, but I usually tell all parents to start with open palm. Cool. So Amanda. Hi, Amanda says sometimes my son pull our hands to somewhere or something, but we cannot, we do not understand what it is the reward he's asking for. What do you do? What we do in this case. Cool. So it might not be a reward, right? The thing is, they can pull you to that thing and then you will know and you can take it, take the reward next to you and start a bunch. Like what I said just now, right? You don't need to always know it. They can hand guide you to that place and then. And then let them do it. Or you can. You don't need to be so passive. You can take a bunch of stuff that you know that he would like for sure and then teach right away. You don't have to wait until he wants something you can present to him with a few, like, with a few options. That's why this passiveness that you're waiting for a child to initiate on you is why, like, parents say, oh, it's only up to his mood, right? It's only up. Then, you know, no amount of therapy can do anything because, you know, you come to my clinic and then all I can do is just wait. No, I'm gonna try my best to tempt them to see what they want, to give them choices, to bring up some rewards and say, wow, it's so yummy. Like, do you want some? Okay, cool. And then when they try to grab you, and then you can start teaching with the gestures, right? You're very welcome, Kelly. Okay, so Autumn says. He says dai yo for fire. He can say mom and da just fine as. Oh, okay. When he says oops, he's unable to make the P sound, same as the F. Okay, Right. So we're dealing with something that is quite, I would say as a speech sound disorder. Okay, so, so the F and R sound, he does try that as a good thing, right? The F sound should be out as like latest by two and a half, to be honest. So the R sound, you don't need to care for now it's until like six. That is like, you know, when it comes out. So what you need to do here, Autumn, is to find a speech therapist to go through articulation test to see why exactly he's lacking those sounds. Okay, so what I hear here is that the F becomes die. Okay, I have no idea. I don't want to guess. You really need to do a proper articulation test, go through the sounds, see how he substitutes, see what he deletes, see what structures he has. So, for instance, oops, he obviously doesn't have the P sound at the end of words. At the very least, I would guess an F. I don't know why. Okay, maybe he just doesn't understand it yet. So seriously, Autumn, go see a speech therapist. Okay, I cannot help you with speech sounds over here. Okay, I really need to know exactly what sounds he's lacking. What, why he's doing it, whatever. Okay, I can't. It's just. I don't want to guess and give you the wrong answer. Okay. That's the only reason I'm not suggesting anything. Right. It'd be different, though, if you. If you're inside of the. Of our Facebook group and then you show me a video and more like that. Right. Okay. Then, you know, you cannot say he didn't bother doing anything involving articulation. If that's the case, then it's therapist fault for not telling you exactly why they didn't do it. And I will tell you why. Probably they didn't do it, and it's because they think probably that there's something more important to be done, especially on the language part. Okay, so if he's not speaking in, like, one word sent, like at least one word at a time, or like consistently using the same sounds for the same things, or like their. His play skills aren't up to par, then they're going to do that first instead of the articulation or that, you know, they're busy managing his behavior and he's doing something else. Okay, I don't want to defend for, you know, other therapists, but, you know, you can ask them. Okay. It's their job to explain to you. All right, Autumn. Okay, so, Kinjo. Hey, Kinjo. Long time. My son used to sit when you use flash charge together. Now he won't sit for anything. No reinforcement is working. Okay, cool. So the thing is, for this kind of stuff, it means that you have burned through him without rewarding him enough when he's sitting down. Okay, so I don't know if the no reinforcement is working as true. I just think that in my mind when I see this, it means that his escaping is working. So don't let him escape. All right? And he knows that whenever you take the flashcards out, he's able to run away. That's a problem. Okay, so just sitting down, I would start with no flashcards at all. Right? Don't let him see it. At the day of light, let tell him to sit down and then reward him. That's it. Okay, don't do the flashcards yet still. That's fine. Okay, don't do it. Make him understand that just by sitting, he gets rewarded. Then you're back in the game. But for now, it's very difficult. Okay, so King Joe, I know you're inside of the course. Just remember nothing. The only task is to sit with you. That's all. And he can watch whatever he wants, eat whatever he wants. But as long as sitting and you keep on praising him, you say, good boy, nice sitting. That's right. Good sitting. And then when he's fine, do some easier tasks and slowly build up towards the flashcard. And always have an end goal for the flashcard. Don't like give him too many in one go. Just like two or three at most. Like, like four or five. Don't force it. Okay, so hopefully that will answer your question. Let him know that the table is a place of reinforcement. Like have toys, have food, have like iPad, whatever. Let him know he can only have those if he's sitting with you right now. He's an escape artist and he knows that escaping works whenever he sees work. Okay, I'm sure he, he, at least he sits down when he's eating his, his lunch or his meal, right? I mean, tell me if I'm wrong. Okay. All right. Ja Bin says my daughter can't make the L sound. She's two and a half years old. Okay. So L sound is not. It's fine at two and a half years old. Okay, so how, how can you, how do you know? So you can go on Google. I'm sorry, I'm typing on my thing on my Google. So all you need to do is to go online and search for age appropriate speech milestones, right? So as for the L sound, let's say. There are loads of these. That's why I don't bother to make videos about it because all you need to do is to search it. So rather than teaching like giving you a fish, I'm going to teach you how to fish by telling you what to search online. Okay, so let me see. So here, all you need to do, go to a URL like this one. I have posted it in the comment section. Hopefully everyone can see probably not inside of the group. I'm sorry, Just search online. Okay? Like speech sounds, developmental chart. And you will see all the sounds they're supposed to do, not supposed to do, or whatever. Okay. And the L sound to your, to this URL, okay, is Jabin is actually 4 to 5 years old. So your child is totally okay for now. If you bring her to a speech therapist, they won't do anything about the L sound. All right, so thank you so much guys for hanging out with me. Thank you for all your questions. I know this is a hot topic because Everyone asks that question, you know, like everyone has experienced it, right? And I think that, you know, like this hand pulling matter, it needs to be addressed in a way that, you know, you give them an alternative. And if you have any questions about it, you can always comment. Especially inside of the Facebook group, it's growing very quickly. It's around 3,000 parents. They're very nice, right? So you can ask there. Whatever you need to know, you can ask, right? There must be a parent out there who has gone through the same thing as you. Just the other day. Not the other day, actually like a year ago, there was a parent with like a child of ASD that I learned about inside of Indonesia, then became my client basically. And she basically created a WhatsApp group, I'm not going to say her name here. Created a WhatsApp group for all the parents in Indonesia who are going through the same things. And if it wasn't for that resource, a lot of parents wouldn't know anything, especially the moms. Okay? So that's why the Facebook group exists. That's why this channel exists. So that you can like have an idea and then ask about other. Like find other people who know the stuff already, which includes me. I'm only one of the resources, okay? There are loads more on the Internet and the best ones I really think are the parents because they know how you feel. Okay. Aparna says, my son is six years old. He has a lot of words, but not conversational. Could you please help me? This is. See, Aparna, this is too little information for anyone to help. Okay? I'm not saying this in a way to saying that. I'm not saying that I'm not going to help you. It's just that it's like telling a car mechanic up to him and says, my car isn't working. I can't help without looking. You know, I can't help without more info. It's difficult. All right? That's why you need to bring him to like a speech therapist. All right? Everything we do at agents of Speech.com is not to replace traditional speech therapy. Okay. Is to give you education enough for you to continue therapy techniques at home that work. Okay. I'm not saying that this is evidence based or anything. I don't want to do that because, you know, there are some things that researchers, you know, they're doing and they're like approving or whatever they're doing and I'm learning from them as well. But doesn't mean that everything is tested and tried. It's only tested and tried with me and my clients. So, you know, you can test and drive it. So you can test drive it. So that's pretty much the end of this live. We've gone really overboard today. 40 minutes. So any more questions? If you're already inside the Facebook group, great. You know, comment, ask each other, which is happening already. Very nice. And if you're on the YouTube, you can comment like it and share with people who need this information, especially about hand pulling. All right. And if you really need and you really want more help, you can always go to agentSpeech.com micro to join our micro course. Okay. And it's not only just the lessons in there, you can join our private Facebook group there, which you know, every all the moms there are people who want to or all the dads as well. Okay. Not leaving the men out of this. I'm a guy as well. And you will learn from them. You can ask questions and people are committed, parents are committed and you will find like minded people there. Okay? That's all I'm gonna talk for now. And that's all, guys. Thank you for hanging out with me. Thank you for being a subscriber, being inside the group and following my emails and whatnot. I'm very grateful for that and hopefully you are staying safe during this pandemic. And I'll see you in the next live next Monday. Okay?