YES Talk 280- Affirm the Commitment
27 Feb 2023 · 14 min
Kevin Ray Ward coaches listeners on turning vague goals into concrete action. He breaks down how to clarify what you actually want, set non-negotiable standards, and translate them into your next five big moves. He uses a daily practice called the stack to keep commitments from slipping into wishes.
Questions this episode answers
February 27, 2023.
$197 a month.
Kevin Ray Ward.
Chapters
I don't. I know what I want, but I don't know how to get there. And, like, the reality is we know what we want, but we don't even know the first step. And part of the first step is tell the truth about what I want. But then I've got. How do I memorialize that? How do I say, okay, do I really want this? How bad do I want it? Let me ask you this. Could I live without it? Because when we wrote down yesterday decision number two, to affirm the commitment, the things that you wrote down, what am I absolutely committed to bringing into my life in the next 12 months, in 2023? The question is, go back. And I don't want you to do it right now, but I'm just going to throw this into the universe, is go back there and look at everything that I wrote on that list. All of the targets, the things that I want, which of those can I live without? And if you can live without them, mark them off, because you're never, never gonna fucking get them unless you put down, you know, I wanna go masturbate to pornhub tonight. You can get that without any effort. Guys. That's for guys only. Maybe. I guess that's for guys only. I don't know. But if you got any goal, any target that you set, that's big, which I assume all of them you wrote down, there were big. These were big commitments. If you don't have to have it, you will never get it. Why? Because the price is too great. So the first thing is, when we say, I want something, that's not enough. I want it. But am I willing to do what it takes to actually get it? Am I willing to do the work? Can I live without it? And so when things come up for you, this is the reason I have. We have to retake the time. Then after this, I want you to write down what are the decisions that you know, you need to make? Because if you don't write it down, you're like drinking from a fire hose for three days. And so much of it is like. It's emotional, it's deep. It's like, this is not tactical shit, right? It's not like, step one, step two, step three, step four. Because you can get that in the video contents. You already got that. I gave it to you in a manual. The step by step shit is easy. But going into your heart and saying, what do I really want? And then you got to make a decision. Am I willing to pay the price? And then we can start Paying it. So to your question is, as you've written this stuff down, the last thing we will do today is like the last piece. And it's not like our last five minutes, but when we get to attack ruthlessly, wherever that page is, I don't even know at the very end. Page 68. Page 68. Critical decision number four is to attack ruthlessly. Here's what the exercise will be, this final exercise and our final session today. What are the next five big moves when I get home? What are the next five big moves when I get home? In other words, there's like, there's 193 things that you've written down this week. You're like, I need to do that, I need to do that, I want to do that, I want to do that, I want to do that. And then you're going to get home on Monday and life happens. Or you just get out of here at the end of the day and you've got 29 voice messages and life is happening right now. Business is happening right now. And then you forget, okay, wait a second, wait a second. This is what I was doing before. If what I was doing before, if I keep doing what I was doing before, is it going to take me where I want to go? And what's the answer? What's the answer? If I keep doing before what I'm doing, if I keep doing after what I was doing before, what's the answer? What's going to change for me? Nothing. You're not going to get where you want to go if you keep doing it. So we can't walk out of here and just go back and go like, oh, shit. Because the moment I get into my text messages and my voice messages and all that, I'm immediately going back into reaction. So I no longer am choosing my path. This is why we stack every day. So, by the way, for those that go forward with us into 500k coaching, his software is called the Warrior app. Okay? That Warrior app alone, if you just want to get subscribed to, it's $197 a month. Okay. I think that was what an introductory. Do you know if that's still what it is? $197 a month. I pay for that for you. So if you're going for it, you get that included in 500k coaching. Why? Because I give you every tool I can to change your life. And that is a tool to change my life. I got a message this morning from one of my empire builders, 101 from Katie. Katie Jones. It was actually last night. She sent it and she said, I need to share this with you. She says, sorry, this comes in the middle of aml. It has been weighing on me since last week, but actually since my breakthrough, this is one thing that holds me back. And she says, you've got a lot going on. I wrote this today because if I don't and I don't send it now, maybe I won't. So it's in these moments of quietness that you are with. Just with yourself and God, and you're just like, okay, what do I need to deal with? And she dealt with some shit. And she just had. She wrote it out and like, okay, this is something I don't even talk about. I don't even want you to know about it. But I got to say it because it's inside of me and I need you to know it so you understand how to coach and work with me. And so she shared it. Okay, this was big. This was like, for me, it was like, oh, that's it. But for her, it was a big fucking deal. How do I do in the stack every day? Stack, stack, stack. And at the end of the stack, it's like, okay, what is one immediate action you need to take coming out of this conversation? Okay, good, cool. Do you want to add that to your hot list? That is your to do list, yes or no. And then it will automatically add it to a hot list or no means I know what it is. I don't have to write it down. Then next, are there any more immediate actions you need to take? Yes, I need to share this piece with my wife. Okay, cool. Do you want to add that to the hot list? Yes. Click. So I now get a reminder. But, guys, if you don't stop and take the time to listen, this is why. What we don't understand is this concept of think and grow rich. Thinking is actually a thing. The problem is that we have, I don't know what they say, like 60, 80, 70,000 thoughts a day. Whatever it is, it's like 70,000 thoughts a day, right? So they say the average human has 70,000 thoughts a day. And most of them are automatic. We didn't invite them. They aren't deliberate. They're not planned. They're not strategic. They're just autopilot. Autopilot is bringing up all the. And for most people, most of the thoughts are bullshit. They're our story. They're a little pizza. Our story. Just come in over and over with all the input and Then we get into reaction and the thoughts are, oh, I need to do this. And then our emotion comes in and go like, oh, if I don't answer this now, I could lose this client. Oh, shit, this is going to fall apart. And then we go into scarcity mind. Here's the scarcity mind. You need to have you ready. Here's the scarcity mind. If I don't change now, what's my life going to look like in 12 months? If I don't change now and I look back over the last 10 years, 10 years from now, is my life going to be different? And don't bullshit yourself. If what you did over the last six months goes forward, what's it going to look like in six months or six years or 16 years or 60 years for those of you that are young enough? So you got to stop and think. So every day you stop and do that in the stack. So this is why we do this at the end of today. Because we're like, okay, of all the shit that you could be doing when you leave here, what are the most important things that I want to do for Galena? Something. There's going to be something here. At least one or two that are going to be. What's your husband's name? And what is it? Surge. So there's something is going to have surge in it. This is a conversation. This is the thing. I'm scheduling our date night. He'll go or he won't go. But I'm having it next Thursday or whatever day it is, right? So it's got to be like, this is an immediate action. It's not like I need to follow my schedule more. You're a fucking liar. What does that mean? That's not an action. That's a wish. Wishes don't come true. Commitments, decisions. That's the shit that makes stuff happen. So it's like, okay, now I have to make a decision. What is the new standard for me and my wife? What is the new standard for me and my business, for me and my schedule? What is the new standard for me and my commitment to myself? What is the new standard for my body? Okay, because the new standard. If you take the new standard of. Oh, crap, who's our gal in Toronto? Megan. If we take Megan and her, 290 is like, that's where I am right now. I've lost £13. That's not. That's not a little thing. But compared to the journey she's gonna be on, that's a little thing. But it's a step, one step at a time. Progress, not perfection. But she's got to be clear and like, what is my new standard? Here's my new standard, whatever it is. So it's 100. Megan, type in what is your ideal weight? I see you there. Just type in the chat, like your elite self. Back to your fitness days because you're young enough that there's no question you can get back to fitness model shape. What is your ideal weight? 180. Okay. 155 on stage weight. So 155 is not a sustainable weight. Is that correct? I can see you shake your head. Yes OR no. Is 155 sustainable for you? No. What is a good sustainable weight? 180. You like 180. All right, beautiful. So 180 is her number. OK, so she's a fitness model. Fitness means there's a lot of muscle mass. So we're not talking about 180 pounds of fat. You can be 180 pounds. Okay? You could be 110 pounds and be obese. Did you know that? I see a lot of that. A lot of, like, girls that they starve themselves into being skinny, that they actually have. They are actually suffering from obesity because they don't have muscle mass because they starve themselves with. And so their muscle gets all consumed. Okay, so for her, 180. So what's got to happen is what's got to become her new standard? From Egan. What's the way to come to our new standard? Okay, so that's a path. What's the standard? An elite fit? 180. Now, like Leanne said, the number is not the most important thing. Okay? It's the easiest thing to measure. Just kind of like dollars making money is not the most important thing, but it is the easiest thing to measure, okay. When it comes to having what I want. So we pay attention to that metric because one, it's visible. I can feel progress and all that kind of stuff, but you also got to be paying attention. So she talks about. Leanne talks about measuring your body, getting a body scan done. Body scans where they give you your true bmi. And there's multiple ways you can do that with health professionals, like holistic, not medical doctors. They don't know anything about this shit. It's crazy. They're like, I don't know. I know it's important, but I have no idea how to. Because they're not. They didn't teach us that in medical school. My daughter is a nurse and we ask her stuff like supplements and vitamins. And she's like. She's like, I have no idea. They don't talk about that. In nursing school, we only learned how to. We only learned how to inject meds. I'm like, okay, so whatever it is, what's the new standard? So for Megan, it's gotta be like, you gotta set a standard and go like, I will not settle for anything else. Now. I'm not gonna be there tomorrow, but I will fucking not settle. Being a year. A year from now, being at 275, and go like, hey, guys, here's the thing. She goes from 290 to 240. That's massive physical change in your body. Here's a massive change in your metabolism to get there. I don't even know all the shit that changes. But she can look at it and go, like, whoa, I'm looking good compared to that before and after. And she can start justifying and go, like, I'm doing pretty good. Is pretty good what you're going for, Megan? Is that what you're looking for? I'm pretty good. No, I don't want pretty good. This is one of the biggest challenges. We set standards that we have for ourselves, and we want something different, but we don't make it the standard. This goes back to the what, not what do I want to have. What do I have to have? So this is where whatever is important to you, you got to take time, write it down. This is what I literally take time.