YES Talk 281- Putting Everything On The Line

You got to be willing to put everything on the fucking line. Some of you, when you're just having this conversation with yourself about coaching, you're thinking about the money you got to put on the line. That's nothing. What you're gonna have to really put on the line is gonna be much, much bigger than the money. It is your willingness to confront yourself and tell the truth. Can we get a catch box over here?

Yep. I just wanted to say something piggyback.

Please stand up, tell them your name, where you're from, because they can't, just so they have context.

Jennifer Jeffcoat in Orlando, Florida, and been my mother's caretaker now since August. And she is probably coming towards the end of her life. One thing that I wanted to add, and it goes along with what you're saying, is she's told me over and over she wishes that she could do everything over again. And I asked her, okay, so, like, what, Mom? Like, what would you do differently? And, you know, one thing that she said to me, she said, I wouldn't be so tight with my money. And this is a woman who saved all her life. My dad was a spender, mom was a saver. And here she is, 76 years old, coming towards the end of her life, and she wishes that she had just done more with it, because what good is it doing her now? And that hit me hard, because that was always a contention with me. It was like, why is mom so cheap? She holds onto her money so tightly, you know? And I get it. She had her reasons for what she was doing. But even her saying that to me is what helped to free me from just some things that I was feeling between us and just allows me to see life through such a different lens. And when you're coming to the end of your life, you realize seeing my mother like, she's one of my greatest teachers. And because of everything that she's going through with her life and where she's at, she did everything right. Ate healthy, never cursed, you know, never very pious, never drank, never did drugs, was with one man, my father. And that didn't work out. It just makes you realize, like, we only get this one life. We only get this one opportunity as who we are now, whatever your beliefs are, and we just gotta make the most of it. So she's my greatest teacher to show me that, to show me how to truly live. So I thank her for that, and I thank you for all you're doing, because this. This has just been absolutely incredible. And what Garrett shared just blew my Mind and broke me down and opened me wide open. And I'm thankful for that. Thank you. And I hope this resonates. I hope this message gets across to some of you that even are on the fence about coaching, because I know I was. But it's time just to make a difference, to change your life, to upgrade your life, to create something different, to create something more, to set a new standard. And if not now, when? When are you ever gonna have enough money? When are you ever gonna have enough time?

Thank you.

Thank you.

There was a go talk in the microphone so I can hear you.

Yes, masters.

One, two, three. One, two, three. 1, 2, 3. There was a book that was written years ago. I never read the book, but I heard about it called the five Greatest Regrets of the Dying. You ever heard of the book the five Biggest Regrets of the Dying or something? And it was written by a nurse who was like a hospice nurse or something. And so she spent her life, her career, talking to people on their deathbeds. And she said one thing very powerful about people on their deathbeds. One thing very powerful about a deathbed is it makes you very honest. And she said she would talk to people as they approached and faced their own death. She said what came up in these conversations more than anything else was their regrets. It wasn't their memories. It was their regrets. And she said, I started noticing that there was a commonality of the same regrets over and over and over again. And over time, she identified five. Five regrets. I don't remember what they all were. One of them was, I would have let myself have more fun.

Not care about what people thought.

And the other one was, I would not have cared about what other people thought. So for all of you who are living with fopo, with this fear of other people's opinion, just know that the day will come that you will deeply, deeply regret that you bowed the knee in your life and your behaviors to other people's fucking opinions who didn't matter. I'm not saying the people didn't matter. What I'm saying is their opinions don't matter. Their approval of you guys. Here's all the approval you need. I approve of me. When I made this discovery, I was in a meditation retreat in Nashville, Tennessee, and I had this epiphany. I had this realization that I can be alone as long as I approve of me. And I know God approves of me. That's all I need. I want you to like me. I like to be liked. I like approval. But the most important Thing is, if you don't like me and don't approve of me, that's okay. Because I like me. And I listen. I listen to the voice in me more than I listen to your voice. And now I listen to the voice in me even more than I listen to my wife's voice. Not because I love my wife less, but because it was impossible for me to love her more when I was more interested in her approval of me than I was in her. And I had it all mixed up. I had it all confused. I thought her approval of me meant I was loving her. No, her approval of me meant I was trying to do things for how it made me feel, not for what she needed. She didn't need to approve of me. She needed to know that I was there for her and that I would do what was right and I would have the courage to lead and to be a king. She didn't want a peasant. She didn't want a servant who would bend the knee at her beck and call. Now, do wives ever try to get their husbands to bend to their beck and call? Yes. Why? Because they feel insecure. And they don't know how to tell you, you need to be a king. And the worst thing is when they see it and they feel insecure, so they start treating you like a kid. They're like, why are you treating him like a kid? Because you're just like a nine year old boy trying to get his mom's approval. The wife doesn't know that's what's actually happening. All she's saying, well, if you would act like a man, then I would treat you like a man. She doesn't know what that looks like. How many of you wives know what I'm telling is the truth? You guys know this. You guys know this. But you know, like, I didn't know. I didn't know how to. I didn't know. I didn't know why I nagged my husband all the time. But here's the key. It's who you are, not who he is. You can't change him. You're not going to be able to change Serge. All you can do is invite him to change with you. This is where I'm going. And this was a conversation that I've been having with my wife as this is where I'm going. This is the life I'm building. I'm building it for us. But here's part of it. This vision. This life is going to have an amazing marriage. And it's going to have intimacy. It's going to have affection, it's going to have attraction, it's going to have sex, it's going to have support, it's going to have time. And I'm going to have that marriage with somebody. I choose you. But you have to choose this. I can't choose it for you.