In this personal‑development talk, the speaker shares a personal anecdote about how undisclosed health issues led to a reputation of unreliability early in her corporate career. Recognizing the need to change that perception, she outlines five practical, incremental strategies for reshaping how others see you. First, gain clear insight into the identity you want to project and apply consistent behavior to embody it. Second, actively solicit deep, honest feedback by asking probing questions that uncover root causes rather than surface symptoms. Third, combat self‑doubt by compiling a record of past achievements to reinforce confidence. Fourth, prioritize self‑care and address health concerns, as personal well‑being underpins the ability to perform and be perceived positively. Fifth, practice assertive (not aggressive) communication through eye contact, open body language, careful word choice, and calibrated responses to others’ reactions. The speaker frames each step as a manageable, ongoing process aimed at rebuilding trust and shifting others’ perceptions.
Chapters
Today, I want to talk about shifting people's perceptions because sometimes it happens, right? We make a bad first impression or people hear something about us and they form an opinion before they even know anything about who we are. And sometimes it happens, you know, we do something and we damage a relationship so we need to rebuild the trust and start to shift that perception. Just to tell you a little story, when I was— when I first started in the corporate world, I was part of an elite team that was 5 years into my career. And I ended up having some health problems and I didn't tell anybody about them because it was kind of embarrassing. But then, over time, I could feel something was changing within the team and I felt like something was off. So I talked to a good friend of mine and I asked her what was going on. And what she said to me was, "You're unreliable. The team can't count on you. And the big boss is wondering whether or not he made the right decision bringing you on board." That hurt. I'd been out and calling out sick from time to time. Often at the last minute. So, I could totally see where that perception was coming from. But I had to shift that because I wanted to be employed, obviously. But I also— it's not an image that I intentionally put out there. So, it was something that I wanted to rectify. And I think there are, as I look back on that, 5 different ways that you can do that. In a way that is seamless and easy because it's not something that happens overnight. The first thing is having clarity about what needs to change and being consistent. So, if you don't know kind of what your endpoint is, if you don't know who you want to be, if you don't know how you want to show up, it's very difficult to change. So, the first step is always about getting clarity in terms of how do you want to How to proceed about who do you want to be before you want to know how to proceed, right? So, once you know how you want to show up, what you want to change, then you can map out a plan. And you then need to be consistent because it's that consistency that really makes the shift. The second thing to do is we need to ask great questions. If we're not getting feedback, from our managers, from our teams, from whoever, then it behooves us to ask the right questions, to ask for honest feedback so that we can understand where we stand, so that we can start to navigate and see how do we want to then move forward, you know, move forward from here. And it's really about asking better questions. It's not just kind of surface level, but really try to go a bit deeper to really understand what the underlying thing is that's going on so that we can address the root cause, not just the surface symptoms, right? Then, it's about being aware of our own self-doubt. And we all suffer from that at one point or another. We all have different degrees of of self-doubt. But that is harmful as we're trying to shift perception. So, one of the things that I encourage you to do is to go back and maybe make a list of all of the things that you've accomplished in your life. Because if you have that handy anytime you experience some of that self-doubt, you can actually go back and you can say, "Okay, you know what? I survived this. I did that." I was successful here. And that kind of builds your self-esteem and it builds your confidence that, you know what, you've done all of this, you got this, you just need to do the work and, you know, shift the perception that's in right now. The fourth thing that you can do is really take care of yourself first. I know for me that was the main issue is that I wasn't taking care of myself and I wasn't sharing what was going on with my health. So people just thought I was off somewhere goofing off, I guess. And so if you're in a situation where your health is getting in your way of your success or of your progress, then please, by all means, get that taken care of. Because without that foundational health, it's very difficult to continue to make headway, to continue to have your energy levels to be at the level that you need them to be for you to continue to grow grow for you to continue to succeed. And the last one is about being assertive versus being aggressive. And there are a couple of ways that you can do that. Direct eye contact is one. Keeping your body language open so people feel like, you know, it's more of a collaborative environment. Also, try to avoid using words like always or never, which are so definitive. Instead of saying, "You always interrupt me," It's perfectly okay to say, "Please allow me to finish," because it allows you to set the boundaries and allows you to make sure you own the space that you are in. And also kind of calibrate where you are and how you're coming across by other people's reactions, right? It's kind of that push and pull thing where if you are trying different things and people are backing off or they're you know, being aggressive, perceived aggressive in return, then maybe there's something, a different way that you can, that you can approach it. So that's it, that's what I wanted to share this week. I hope that it serves you, and I'll talk to you soon.
