5 Steps To Rediscover Yourself

When I came out of my divorce, I really had to figure out again who I was and what I wanted. And it's not always an easy process. So I thought today I could share 5 steps that might be able to be of service in your journey. And the first one is this: as difficult as it might be, it's important for us to pause and feel what we feel. We often have the reflex to not want to feel the thing, the feelings and the emotions that we're feeling because they're, they're not comfortable, because it's hurtful. We tend to kind of gravitate to either getting so busy that we don't have time, or we dive into work and we just completely go full bore on work so that we can kind of avoid all of the feelings. But one of the most important things that we can do is actually give space to those feelings and give room to that hurt and to the emotions that we're feeling. Because by going through it is how we actually allow them— ourselves to basically release them. The second thing is to really reconnect with who you are inside. And you're going to be a different person today than you were years ago when you got married. Maybe your interests have changed. So my recommendation would be look back at what you like to do before you got married. Are those still— those things still present in your life? And if they're not, maybe now's a good time to start again or to try them out again, because only through trial and error are you going to start to see a picture of who you want to be moving forward. And it may be that all of the interests that you used to have are actually not part of your future, but you're not really going to know that until you actually start kind of walking, walking through, taking those steps. And ask yourself, what makes my heart sing? When do I really feel like I come to life? Because those are the questions that are going to get you to kind of go back in and think about 'Okay, you know, what is real for me? What feels real for me right now?' Then you'll probably want to rediscover your passion. That means go back to something that you loved, right? Did you used to play the piano and you don't play the piano anymore? Did you used to go horseback riding and you don't do that anymore? Did you used to knit and it's not something that you're doing anymore? So do those little things that are going to start bringing back some of that joy, because those moments of joy are going to be your anchor in moving forward and recreating your life on your terms. From there, you really want to start to create a vision for your life. You thought you were going to be with your partner, right? So you had all these ideas about what your future might look like, what, you know, was going to be in the cards for you. Guys. Obviously that's now gone. So what do you want that future to be? What do you want your life to look like? How do you want to show up for yourself and for those around you? So try different things out, but start really envisioning what does your ideal day look like? What is your ideal career look like? How do you see your relationships moving forward? How do you see your home taking shape and coming together? So that's going to help you to start to see, okay, you know, this is what the future could hold for me. And then the last step is don't just dream about it, but actually start taking steps. And they don't have to be huge steps. We're not, you know, doing the splits here. We're really taking little steps, little actions at a time, because it's probably going to feel a bit uncomfortable in the beginning. So it might take a little bit of getting used to, but the more we do it, the more excited we become, and the more likely we are to make that vision become a reality.