Alexandra Niel offers five ways to rebuild confidence after separation: prioritize sleep and movement, list qualities you love about yourself, try new hobbies, create a closet of power outfits, and take solo dates. She emphasizes that confidence matters for mental and physical health.
After a separation, our self-confidence can take a hit. I was putting on a good face and I didn't feel like I had the right to feel bad or that I had the right to feel unsure because I was the one who had initiated the breakup. But inside I felt insecure, I felt unlovable, and I threw myself into my work because that's where I was getting my validation. Rebuilding our confidence after a divorce is really crucial. For our mental well-being, for our physical well-being, for the journey that awaits us moving forward. So just want to share 5 tips that hopefully can help you to do that. The first one is prioritizing self-care. And when I talk about self-care, I'm not just talking about your physical well-being. I'm talking about your mental well-being, your emotional well-being, your spiritual well-being. All of those things are part of your self-care. So there are a few things that you could try. Make sure you get your sleep. Getting good sleep is absolutely magical. So 7 to 9 hours, absolutely mandatory. Eat brain-boosting foods. Did you know that how you feel today is because of what you did 3 days ago? How you ate, how you slept, how you moved. So make sure that you continually focus on those good habits day in, day out. Get moving, move your butt, that'll do you good. Spend maybe 10 to 15 minutes every day to reconnect with yourself. And one of the things that I found is that being able to do that at night actually improves my sleep. And journal regularly so that you can identify patterns and it allows you to let those emotions come out. The second thing you can do is list the things that you love about yourself. We forget that we're, these awesome human beings. And because we have all this negative self-talk, we have all of these stories that we tell ourselves. So my suggestion would be, when you're feeling good about yourself, write down the things you love about yourself, write down the things that you're really good at. And if you get stuck, ask your friends. They're going to give you a completely different perspective and probably one that is richer, and you might make some interesting discoveries at the same time. Invest in your personal development. Personal development actually became my drug of choice. I wanted new perspective. I wanted to know how differently I could do things moving forward. Maybe you want to try your new hobby. Maybe you want to try something that you've always wanted to try, but you haven't given the attention to or the time to because you were busy trying to fix the relationship or you were busy burying yourself at work. Number 4, is a little unconventional, but build yourself a confidence closet. You know, that pair of heels, those little black pants that make your butt look really good, or that little black dress that makes you feel like you can take on the world. Find a way to tag those as your power outfit, as your feel-good outfit, as your confidence outfits. And when you feel like you're not where you need to be in terms of your personal confidence, go right there, pull out that dress, pull out those heels, put them on, and I bet you're gonna start to feel different immediately. And the last one is take yourself on solo dates. That's one of the things that was one of my rituals when I was going through my divorce, was I would take myself out to dinner. I went to the same place, people knew me, the hostesses knew me by name, they almost had a spot saved for me. I would bring a book and I would just allow myself to be by myself and to be okay with being by myself. So those are the 5 things that I wanted to share with you. I hope you find them helpful. If you do put them in play, let me know what the result is. I'd love to hear from you.
