Alexandra NielDivorce Recovery Coach, ANiel International, LLC. · I help women who held it all together through divorce finally build a life that’s actually theirs | Thrive After Divorce

Authenticity Equals Confidence and It Can Transform Your Relationships

4 Jan 2025 · 1 min

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In this personal monologue, the speaker reflects on how concealing parts of herself to fit others' expectations eroded her confidence. She describes adopting a chameleon‑like persona in relationships, which left her feeling inauthentic and powerless. As she began to express her true voice and identity, her confidence grew, allowing her to reclaim personal power. A divorce served as a turning point, granting permission to recalibrate and rediscover her authentic self. This self‑reclamation enabled her to enter and sustain a 12‑year relationship without pretense, highlighting the liberating effect of authenticity on confidence and relational fulfillment.

Chapters

I used to think that to be in a successful relationship, I had to hide parts of myself. I needed to kind of be this chameleon that could morph and twist into whatever other people expected of me. And what I found as I was doing my work was that doing that left me with very little confidence because I couldn't show up as my authentic self. The more I showed up true to my voice, true to who I was, the more my confidence grew and the more I was able to really take my power back. And going through my divorce was kind of the permission, in a way, that I needed to recalibrate and to rediscover really who I was so that I could become that confident person that I knew was there. And now I'm in a 12-year relationship. I don't have to pretend. It is so freeing