Alexandra Niel argues that how you divorce matters more than the divorce itself. Protect your kids, don't trash-talk your ex, keep life normal. The alternative is lawyers winning and families losing.
So what's the role model for divorce these days? Is it contempt, anger, being adversarial, judgment? I had a great role model for my divorce. My parents did everything that they could to try to keep things as normal as possible for us. They never spoke ill of each other, they always put us first, and in the chaos it brought a sense of normality. And I've seen it on the other side too. Where the parent is denigrated, where the kids are used as weapons, and where the objective is really to make the other party's life as miserable as humanly possible. But in the end, who wins? The lawyers. And who loses? You lose, your kids lose, your former husband loses. There is no winning this war. So think about what kind of role model you want to be for your kids and for your community.
