When divorce talks get heated, step back. Use phrases like "I need to step away and collect my thoughts" or "I'm open to talk about this again when we can do that in a way that is respectful." Tackle one issue at a time instead of piling them together.
If you're going to keep your sanity as you're going through your divorce or as you parent post your divorce, there's one skill you're going to have to master, and that's conflict management. Emotions are going to be running high, nerves are shot, people feel hurt, betrayed, and the worst thing that you can do is engage on the emotion. Letting our emotions rule the conversation is a surefire way to disaster. So I want to share with you maybe a few sentences that you can use when you feel your emotions are getting a little bit out of hand and you need to take a step back. The first one is, "I need to step away and collect my thoughts." It might be, "I just need a minute to breathe." "I need to take a break from this discussion for a moment." "I'm open to talk about this again when we can do that in a way that is respectful." "I'm hearing different things. Can we kind of disentangle them and tackle each one of them separately?" Keep in control of your emotions and don't get dragged down into the emotions of the fight. The more you do that, the better your communication will be.
