From Heartbreak to Healing | A Journey to Embodied Wellness

Hello, heroines. This is Alex. Happy— what are we— Wednesday. Glad that you are here with us today. I'm very excited because I have my friend Ariel Griglin on with us today. She is a health and fitness coach, so I thought it would be really cool to just give her a chance to maybe drop some wisdom with you.

How are you, Ariel? I'm great. Thanks for having me today.

Oh, it's my pleasure. So let's get started with the basics. Um, where are you from and what do you do?

Well, I'm originally from a very small town outside of Chicago. Me, my mom, my grandma all went to the same high school. And 10 years ago, I migrated to South Florida, and I'm in sunny South Florida when it's 90 degrees. I'm loving it here. And what I do, you mentioned I'm a health and fitness coach. Um, my journey has shifted a lot professionally, all, all on the cusp of a divorce that I had. So that was really the pivotal change to everything that I do.

So I'd love to hear more about that because I think it's— I know that happened to me is, you know, when I came out, I was trying to find myself and little by little life took me towards coaching. And so tell us, tell us more about your story.

So, uh, before the divorce, I was a personal trainer, competitive bodybuilder. I was training my clients just as I would prepare for a show, um, you know, sit-ups and great glutes and abs and squats. And then on my birthday just before my 1-year wedding anniversary, my husband at the time left with my best friend, and I never saw either one of them again. And my whole life was rattled, and it was the most beautiful traumatic experience of my life. And I went from, you know, I was exploring before that. I thought maybe I'm an atheist, you know, I'm very grounded in this physical world with physical training to just being blasted open to the stars. And suddenly I'm seeing the trees breathing and I'm feeling this just deep sense of interconnectedness with the stars and the universe. And, you know, I laugh about it now, but I said, I love this work as much as I love my mother. Like, there was such a deep interconnectedness that I was feeling. So, uh, yeah, that was That was a huge shift. And one of the insights I remember through that period was I had been so grounded in resistance training in the type of work that I do. And I had just had this just massive, just being blasted open in this experience. And probably the catalyst to that awakening and through the trauma was my ability to surrender. And at the time, you know, he was saying, let's get a divorce. And I said, let's talk about this. Let's do therapy. Like, it can't just be over that quickly. And he was begging and begging and begging. And I was saying no, no, no. And the moment— I remember very clearly, I was walking through an airport with my mom. She was taking care of me because I'm a wreck. And my chest is hurting, my stomach is hurting, you know, tears are— my eyes are raw from crying. And the moment we sat down at the terminal, I said, all right, when we get back up north, I'm going to say my goodbyes to his family. And that was the moment of surrender that I said, as he wishes, I will surrender to this divorce. And it was like just this light overcame my body. So the reason I'm telling you that is because it was such an interesting experience to go from resistance training as my bread and butter, as my profession, and then to realize non-resistance gave me such a profound beauty. So at first it was a hard, hard thing to grapple with, like, okay, non-resistance has brought so much beauty to my life, but now I'm supposed to go do resistance training? And I realized there's a happy medium. It's not one or the other. So Yeah.

So I just think that, that contrast and comparison with resistance and surrendering is beautiful because I think one of the reasons why we stay in pain for as long as we do sometimes is because we're holding on so much to the memories, but also to the dreams that are never going to come to pass because that that's just over. So when I'm just— when you have that moment and you started to find that balance between resistance and surrendering, even in your work, how do you then work with women in incorporating all of those things and also incorporating the mindset piece, because that plays a big role in, in health and fitness as well.

Yeah, well, I'd be lying if I said it was a quick or easy process. I have often said that it was about a 7-year journey of integrating that experience. So, um, right after this like profound oneness and interconnectedness, I would ebb and flow between the heartache and the pain and just being blissed out. I wouldn't go back and forth. And within those first couple months, I wandered into a crystal shop my first time, like sensing, healing crystals. And I met my now partner. And, um, not only did we connect in our spiritual path, but also in the work that we do. And, um, he began his career as a fitness expert and as a leader in the industry in fitness. And then evolved into a much more dynamic type of healing. So the programs that he developed really gave me a roadmap, a particular protocol of how to bring together the brain, the immune system, the gut, the mind, the spirit, the cell, and how all of that affects how we recompose our body fat and our muscle mass.

Wow. That— I don't think I'd ever heard it quite put that way before. Um, so what were some of the, let's say, the lessons that you took into, um, your new way of doing business, your new way of interacting with your clients, into, I would say, I guess, in your new relationships, right? So we have the way we interact in relationships pre-divorce, the way we, or pre-breakup, and post-breakup. So how did How did those dynamics change?

If we're speaking just how I adjust my professional life and working with clients, I think probably the biggest difference is pre-divorce, I was this very immature personal trainer that just expected everyone to eat like a bodybuilder and everyone to train like a bodybuilder. And there was no consideration for life when maybe someone's going through a divorce or maybe their kid is sick that day. Like, there was no consideration for that. It was kind of like this way or the highway. And as I went through this experience of, um, expansion and seeing the processes being more dynamic, it allowed me to coach my clients in that Even if life happens, whether it's divorce, whether their kid is sick, whether they had a busy day at work and they couldn't get to a meal, the, you know, there's a famous book, The Obstacle Is the Way. So it allowed me to work with the client. If they are having an obstacle, doesn't mean it's preventing them from getting the body and the health that they want. Okay, let's dive into that. Let's use that as fuel. Let's transmute that. So that you continuously move forward on your path of health and recomposing your body.

Okay. Yeah, I like what you said about the obstacle is the way, because it's true. It's like, it's often those things are there so that we do find a way to get through them. And that's where the lesson, that's where the gold is. So when you work with your clients, if you think back, the women that you've worked with, What have been some of the most memorable transformations that—

oh my God—

you've experienced with them or that they've experienced?

Ah, I have quite a few stories I could share. Uh, one in particular, um, a client Gina, when we first met, she was on anxiety medication, she was 30 pounds overweight, she was working a job she was very unfulfilled in. And now she's 30 pounds lighter. She is off all of her medication. She got married. She moved into a dream home, a beautiful, beautiful home, her dream car. She quit the job she was working at. Now she's diving into entrepreneurial ventures. She's totally tuned in with her own guidance system. So that was an incredible transformation to witness because the physical changes were, uh, let me rephrase that, all of the outer— no, the physical changes were the side effect of all of the inner change.

Yeah, yeah. So it's because she did all of the inner work, which is really the critical, the critical piece, everything else kind of fell in place for her. That's awesome. So When, what do you think, thinking back to your client, what do you think was the, the, the key to making the changes that she needed to make? You talked about the inner work, but was there something specific that you guys keyed in on that really was kind of like opened the floodgates for the rest of the work that she did and that you guys did together?

I can't say it was one thing in particular. And a lot of the clients I work with, they learn in the material and the programs I take them through and that my partner has developed, uh, he'll often say, no thing works. No one thing works. So a lot of times people are addressing change in their body with a single supplement or a single workout or a single meditation or a journal or whatever the case may be. And every one of them are important, but no single thing will do it. So, you know, her and I dove very deep into her neural wiring. We dove very deep into her spiritual experiences, her nutrition, her movement. But all of it was moving and improving together.

So when you think about all of the women that you've worked with, are there— because you said, you know, not the one thing, and there's a lot of different things— are there a few things that seem to be consistent across every one of your clients that you would say, if you do nothing else, focus on these things?

Yes, um, thinking about how to share this, I'm going to use a little bit of jargon. Um, in my world, my partner developed a term coined REMAS, which stands for restrictive endocrine maladaptive adrenal stress syndrome. It's a lot of words, but in layman's terms, it's basically telling us that adrenal stress becomes compounded. Our body's recovery system becomes impaired, and that leads to a whole cascade of symptoms. Might show up initially as, um, sluggish energy or difficulty losing weight, and as that condition progresses, it will show up as prediabetes or diabetes or hypothyroidism or cholesterol issues or autoimmune issues. So all of that is reversed by balancing stress, load, and recovery. So to answer your question, if there's like one thing that I could give or that's most common, it's that balance. In today's world, most people need more of the recovery than the appropriate stress, but it's the balance between the two.

Yeah, and I think that in today's day and age where the, I would say, the standard— I don't want to say normal— the standard approach is very much from that masculine energy of push, push, push, right? And action and moving forward. And I think we forget that there is a benefit to taking that step back and giving ourselves the chance to take a breath, because that's part of the process. It's not always, you know, go, go, go. There you need that time of reflection, rest, relaxation, whatever the case may be, to be able to then move forward more effectively.

Yeah, and I've actually shared before that it's proof if everyone here has some belief in a higher power, uh, divine intelligence, God, source, spirit. It's proof that whatever this higher intelligence is didn't intend for us to be constantly in a stressed-out state, because when our body and our nervous system is constantly in a stressed-out state, disease happens. It, it literally goes against our biology. It's not what we're designed for.

So when, when somebody comes to you and they're like uber stressed out, right, you can feel it, they're like vibrating at a different level of energy because you can feel the stress and the anxiety oozing from them. How do you take them from that space of like a tuning fork that won't shut off to being able to tap into themselves and being able to remember that that's not— they don't have to live like that.

Uh, well, it's, it's an interesting balance, and I can give a lot in terms of guidance and support and how literally how I guide someone through. We start with a 9-minute routine It's very intentional. It's only 9 minutes because we're working to restore that recovery system. I have them open up a journal and I guide them through certain journaling prompts so they become more introspective. They can, they can take that time to tune in with themselves. And a majority of the time, they— I can sense that shift immediately. But before we got on here, I said something's been going on that I was going to share. And I have a particular client that I'm with right now, and this morning almost came to say like, I'm sorry, I can't help you. And reason being, I should also add that because of that experience I had through my divorce, much of my work is intuitive. So in working with this particular client, it's very clear to me that she's in a marriage that is completely completely, uh, unsatisfying. And even more than that, uh, depleting, draining. I sense that there's a lot of, I'll say, hatred in the house. I see it. She hasn't verbalized to me that she wants something different or that she wants change or, or anything. I think she's just, uh, right now living in a, a victim state of, of this reality.

Almost like a state of suspended animation.

So when you talk about someone that comes to me with that high stress, I mean, I, I sit down with her and like, I feel just immense, immense, immense heaviness. And, uh, I give as many opportunities as I can for her to move out of that. But, um, our relationship play a big role on our personal well-being. And it's interesting as we're here in this group talking about about marriage. So we'll see what she chooses. It's her free will.

At the end of the day, it's her life and her decision. But it's— I think for women like you and I who just want to serve, to see it and not be able to do anything until the person is ready sometimes can be difficult. It's almost like, ah, but at the same time, it is their journey. Right? And it's up to them to, to make up their own mind.

So, um, I know we're probably running out, but I just want to share—

no, that's okay, we got time—

one more thing that was actually a really important lesson coming out of my marriage is a lot of people in my surroundings, my family, they're like, look at what he did to you, betrayal, and he took your best friend on your honeymoon, like, how could you? How could you want to do anything nice? How could you speak highly of him? And because of the experience I had just had, I was able to, to witness that he was hurting. He acted in certain ways because of his own wounds. And I kept saying, I just want to help. I just want to help. Like, and a part of it was, you know, if he's not so hurt, maybe we could work this thing out. And it was a really, really important lesson to realize every single human on this planet has their own journey and has the divine right to, to go through that journey on their own. I couldn't force that for him. And as much as I saw he was hurting, it was out of my hands.

Yeah. And it's, um, it is sometimes difficult, but, um, Question for you: what is a book that has had a big influence on your life in general?

I was just talking about one, but you see me looking down because I've got a bunch of books here. Um, the one that I was just speaking about that was really profound I'm looking to see if there was another one. The Way of the Peaceful Warrior was— did you ever read that?

No, not yet.

Oh my gosh, you've got to read it. There's a movie, I haven't seen it yet, but a great, great, great book. Everyone listening, go out, get yourself The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, one of the best books I ever read.

All right, well, I think that's an awesome recommendation. Aside from that, any final thoughts? Anything that you think is important for our heroines to know and that we haven't talked about yet?

Yes, I think the last thing I want to share is— I'm just going to make an assumption, ladies watching, I don't know you or this community very well yet, but I have a feeling All of you can sense this shift that our world is going through. We can look to education, finance, politics, our weather— everywhere we look, there's radical, radical changes taking place. And it is for us to rise. It's for us to rise in our consciousness and our power and our light and our interconnectedness and our love and our compassion. And even more so as You know, we were just talking about force versus being and with the breath and stillness. Part of the shift that's taking place is the rise of feminine energy. And sometimes feminine energy shows up in relaxation and recovery, but even more so, it shows up here as heroine. So I think the, the final words I want to share is, ladies, we have a massive, massive opportunity opportunity right now. And regardless of what you're going through in your life, if it is a relationship or health or career or whatever the case may be, stand in your power. Even when it's difficult, stand in your power because we've got a huge opportunity right now.

I love it. Ariel, thank you so much for sharing.