From Repression to Radiance | Reclaiming Sexual Power

All right, hello ladies, hello awakened heroines. This is Alex. I'm so happy to be with you today and to bring you the one, the only, the world-famous Lorna Gale.

Hi Alex, so good to be with you.

You too. Lorna and I have known each other for a bit of time now, and, um, it's been such an honor and a privilege to really be on this journey with her. And I wanted to bring Lorna on because she is, first of all, completely and absolutely amazing. But the work that she does is truly inspiring. So I just thought maybe, Lorna, tell us a little bit about who you are, where you hail from, and what it is you do.

Well, I can do the first two in really very short words. The other one's a little bit of a Uh, so I'm, I'm Lorna Gale, and I am here in British Columbia on the west side of Canada, nestled in the mountains, which is really where my soul has called me for a long time. And I love it. And, uh, what I do really simply— wow, how do I say it really simply? It seems to be changing, but really it comes down to really helping people to reestablish the relationship of feminine and masculine both within a relationship and how that shows up also in our spiritual, our spiritual world. So as a somatic sexologist, as a sex and spirit alchemist of the feminine-led life, and interestingly, first time speaking at what feels really— what I'm— what's the, the new label is Cosmic Mother. That whole piece about just really, really stepping into this big piece. And when I think about cosmic, sometimes there's that thing about looking outside, when I think about macrocosm and microcosm, that within and without, and to really move beyond the idea that there is a separation of that. So it's really a coming home to ourselves and using sexuality as a portal for that.

God, now I'm gonna have to start to pick everything apart that you just said because I think it's all fascinating. First of all, when you said cosmic mother, Like, I just got goosebumps from literally from my head down to the tippy tip of my toes. I think that's so, so beautiful, and it encapsulates, I feel, who you are and, and what you do. So I think that's beautiful, and I want to honor you for, for that. Um, and you and I, having known each other for a bit, you've also gone through, divorce journey. Um, and I, I want to say, and maybe I'm wrong, that, um, some of what you do was catalyzed by, by that journey. So, um, to take us through that a little bit, um, for, for the ladies in the group, please. Sure.

And you're right, the what I do now and the, the marriage piece were very intricately entwined. So I left a 30-year marriage, uh, and it really was to, to go into this work that I am doing. I had, you know, when I look back on it, Alex, really a big part of it, I think, what was the key piece? Like, what, what was Where, where do I dive back down into it? What it comes down to is that that's what we were taught. I was taught, and I think so many of us are, save yourself for marriage. I think exactly.

Sounds familiar.

It's like I did, many didn't. And because we've been taught that, there's so much this aspect that that's the right thing to do. That's what good girls do. And if there's anything else, if you're, you know, being sexual before, there's something shameful, there's something promiscuous, there is now you are used, you are dirty, you know, all of those kinds of things. But when I look down to it and I go even to a deeper piece, I thought, what was it about that? And it was at some way I was, I took it on and I think, and as I keep working with people and talking with people, It's at some level, if I'm supposed to save myself for marriage, that means that my body isn't mine, my sexuality isn't mine, and even the sense of boundaries. It's kind of, well, my body isn't mine, my sexuality isn't mine, so no matter what anybody choose to do with me, it's kind of like, okay, I guess that's her right. I don't have any— I don't have any say over it. And so, you know, all the different things that men would do to me, well, I guess I had no choice. So I lived, um, when I— and as I say, I, I was a virgin when I was married at the age of 18. And within 2 years, I had— 2 and a half years, I had, you know, both my daughters were born, and they are the love of my life, and my grandchildren. But I was, I was— as soon as I took that vow, it was— I put on baggy clothes, you know, wear turtlenecks, the whole piece. So even wearing this that I'm wearing This has been a journey for me to come to be able to see, ooh, I'm, I'm showing some skin through here. Even I can still see some remnants of that, of nope, it's, you know, you are for the husband, don't let anybody else see your curves. So when I, when I realized very early on that I was very disconnected from my sexuality, because I— and I'm 63 now— I had my first orgasm at the age of 42. And at the age of 47, I had what I call my midlife sexual awakening. After all of those years, I thought, I need to go and find out who am I. I was able to acknowledge I am a sexual erotic being, I am autonomous, I am here in this body. And then I— and that was through various pieces— I was able to look in the mirror, literally and physically, literally and physically to be able to meet myself there and met the different layers of shame, of disgust, self-loathing, and even took me to the level of existential shame, the shame that I even existed. And once I could tap down into that, you know, with tears streaming down my face day after day of doing this practice, um, all of a sudden the lights went on and this isn't dirty and wrong and shameful like I've been taught. It's good and pure and right. In that moment, Alex, it was an instantaneous 180-degree change, 180-degree change, where I went from being just so disconnected to everything. I saw life as erotic. I talked with ease. It was just a natural thing to talk about sexuality. Things started streaming into me about how we do food. Well, what if we could do sexuality with such a natural ease, you know, age-appropriate, trying different things, learning by discussing. And it just became this natural thing to take my love of teaching from the school system and energy work now into the sexual erotic realm of things. And that's where, when my, my former husband said, I've seen, um, the work that you're doing now, he said, it doesn't work for me. I don't like the idea that you're going to have hands on other people. So you get to choose, you know, do you want to stay in the marriage or, um, you know, pursue your new line of work? He said, whatever you do, I'm— I support you all the way. And, and I, as I felt into each one— and that's a big part of it, we've been taught don't feel certain things— and I felt into it. And in— when I felt into the marriage, it just felt like I was this tree that was in this pot, and if I stayed in there I would die. When I thought of my, my new career, it was just like, there it is. I could feel alive. And that's why I said, I choose, I choose to go with my career. And it's not that the marriage was wrong or bad, it just, it was like that container. It was, I needed to be transplanted. So that's, this tree of me got to be transplanted into my new career. And I'm, I'm love do, love doing what I'm doing.

I, I love the imagery of the tree in the pot, because it's true that things will only grow as big as the pot will allow them to grow. And to have seen you even from maybe, I would say, 4 years ago when we started knowing each other and getting to know each other and chatting all the time, and the transformation in you has been absolutely just incredible to watch. And I want to go back to what you said before about, you know, not saving yourself for marriage is, you know, you means you're used and it's dirty. And the first thing that came to my mind when you said that was, how freaking patriarchal is that, right? And that whole like you said, we are here for the pleasure of our partner, whatever, whoever that is. Um, and just the work to help women to just transcend that is, first of all, so needed, but so beautiful.

Thank you for that. And it's been a journey because it hasn't— as we all know, anybody who has gone through, is going through divorce knows that it's not— there's no switch that gets flipped and it's, it was this, okay, now we're on to new. This such a journey to, to let those old, old elements of the story come to the surface when we're ready to move on. And that's one of the things I love about what you're doing, Alex, is really supporting people and beautiful women who are heroines. Absolutely. These awakening heroines, um, ready to be the hero of their own life, the heroine of their own life. And I love what you're doing to be that guide for that. I didn't have that, right? And so to be able to do it here and dive in, and certainly my own journey that I've, I've gone through and still different things come up. They are what allow me to be that guide for the women who I, I get to work with. And it was interesting, one of the things as well, and exactly what you say about the patriarchal aspect of things, one of the things that I've come to experience as well, Alex, is that when I came from very much that aspect of it's all about the man, you know, and the whole piece, and I remember even different times, and I know that I'm not the only one because I've spoken with so many people, when the man would come up and kiss behind my neck, I would just, oh, like, what does he want now, right? But an interesting piece that I've come to realize, and it didn't happen until after I was divorced, was that, that the heart of the man is to serve. And that all of those things that my husband had been doing all the way along had been there because he wanted to help make my life better, help me be happy, um, and to give of himself to me. But he didn't know how to do it any way than what he had grown up, right, in this way of, you know, shut down your feelings, boys. You know, it's good for the guy to be a stud. You know, go and make all your conquests. Woman is a slut, you know. So those— wait a minute, how does this fit in? So for the way that men have also been taught, don't feel, don't cry, you know, be tough, all those kinds of things. So in this whole patriarchal system, and I say the patriarchy is not men, it's a system where the masculine is here, or males are here, and women are here. And the work that I get to do is about, let's look through the mirror. The mirror always shows the opposite. Bring it up. So the feminine, women's empowerment, the feminine rising, feminine put that into recognize its leadership. And the masculine says, oh, now I know where I fit in, in service too. So that's when I talk about Sex and Spirit Alchemist of the Feminine Led Life. It's allowing women, supporting women, um, as they are, whether they're single, divorced, or never married, but really supporting people. And, and I think that's a big part when women come out of divorce. There's a big part where there's this part of them that recognizes inside there's something more. I don't know what it is, or maybe I do know what it is, and sometimes I don't know what it is or how to access it. And so it's really what you're doing is really helping women to step into their power, to really reclaim what do you want, what is it on your terms, right? As you say, Live life on your terms. And that's what really that beautiful place that women get to be in is. What do you want? I don't know. I don't know. What do you want? Oh, deep down, I actually really do know. But is it okay to say? Yeah, damn it, it's okay to say. And not only is it okay to say it, but the world is waiting for you to say it. Because as, as women step into their leadership, It creates this momentum in their own lives, in the relationships, in their— in any relationship. Their children now all of a sudden have this way to really— okay, you've heard, we've heard the saying of if mama's not happy, nobody's happy. That's exactly right, because we're saying, what does mama need? What does the woman need? What does the feminine need? We all rise into and we fit into harmony when we let that be the lead of it. And that doesn't mean women being, um, leaders and doing all of the action and where do the guys— these, you know, these guys that are all of a sudden, um, weak. It's kind of like, no, these men that can sink deeply into that place of service. And so as, as women coming out of divorce are, are owning, coming back home to themselves What do I want? What do I need? Can I own my voice? Can I own my body? Whether you have sex or not, it doesn't matter. It's that life force erotic energy. It's that woman, that feminine leadership that says, this is the way that we're going. This is way what I need. That's what I say is when women lead, when the feminine leads, the masculine is in support and service, that's where there's harmony and peace in the world.

I love that. And I think that masculine-feminine discussion is so important because I would venture to say most people think of masculine as men and feminine as women, but we both— we have both of those energies within us, right? I remember when I was in the corporate world, I really stepped into my masculine because I was all in the doing and the pushing and the making things happen. And I carried a lot of energy into my marriage. And because I occupied that space, my husband couldn't occupy that space. So the polarity in our relationship went completely Upside down. So I'd love to hear your take on what is masculine energy versus feminine energy, uh, and how do they, how do they work together, and how do we really tap into those to really have the relationship that we deserve with ourselves first and then to prepare to be in a relationship with someone else?

It's such a great question, Alex. And, and I'm going to preface it by saying that we have been taught, and I come from an experience of we all is one, but to know it's, it's opposite, you know, it's we create this duality. So this, as you say, woman and man, male and female, right? That we have all of that within us. So, but if we, if we make it look like it's outside of us, we don't look inside, right? If we're looking, oh, there's the man, we're not really honoring what's really in here. What a great, what a great, um, party trick, you know, a type thing. What a, what a great story element of hide the treasure right here but make it look like it's out here So what an incredible, what an incredible journey of this journey of, oh, it is in here. So when we talk about masculine and feminine, often we talk about yin and yang. We think, okay, yin is me or the feminine, masculine is the yang. But there's yin feminine and yang feminine. There's yin masculine and yang masculine. So I'm just gonna do just a really abbreviated one. Starting with what we're used to and starting with what we are most familiar with. Yin, talking about that nurturing, that flow, that creative part. That's the yin feminine. We look at the yang masculine, that's where we'd look at that action, that doing, that structure, the systems, right? Those, that's, that's it. So now, and again, summary, there's, there's more of it, but just a summary, a little quick one. The yin or the yang feminine is like Kali the Destroyer, that righteous anger, like, I'm gonna lop off their heads. No, we're gonna stop this. It stops here. That's the yin. That's the yang feminine.

It's like Xena, Warrior Princess.

Exactly. The mama bear, that warrior princess. Exactly. Okay. The yin of the masculine is actually that which holds and supports. So when we— and again, to look at, we're coming from a place of duality, of it's separate. And even we think, okay, there's feminine and masculine within us, it's— yes. So even when we as women, when we talk about I'm holding space, I'm in my masculine. The masculine, a visual for that is the masculine The testes hold all the sperm. That holding, that structure— what are structures for? They're to hold. We build a house to hold the family. So any structure, any system is masculine. Well, look at us, we're all in a body, and some of us have breasts, and some of us have vulvas, and some of us have penises. That structure is actually the masculine. So hidden right in plain sight, here we are in our incorporated feminine and masculine, because this breath, this life force energy that moves this structure, there we are, feminine and masculine all the way along. So as we as women are reclaiming our power, we are tapping into that feminine, that what's it like to, to say what I want, what's it like to be in my creativity, what's it like to be in that flow. And to anything that we do to support that, anything that we, we do to help those come into creativity is tapping into the masculine part of us. So it's right here. So when we, when we are coming out of divorce, we are coming so much from this model of we need to look outside of ourselves for our other half. For our partner. And we're saying, I say, come on, come on home. Use that which is outside to as a mirror. Use that part of, um, those places where we see something awesome, where, say, in the masculine, um, where we judge. And goodness knows I could write a book about the things that I judged about my husband and my marriage, right? Um, but all of that was— when I look at it, it was, ah, it was a mirror. What part of me was I not able to, um, own or acknowledge within myself? And then to be able to— how do we use that all to come back home into our wholeness within, connecting to our bodies and our spirituality?

That's beautiful, Lorna. I just— the— I had not dissected masculine and feminine energies, as in feminine yin yang and masculine yin and yang. So you just, first of all, blew my mind. Um, so thank you for that, and thank you so much for being here today. Um, I just always love your energy, your story, what you bring to the world. I think you're absolutely amazing. Awakened Heroines, I hope that what Lorna said today resonates with you on some level. If it does, we'll throw Lorna's links and information into the comments. We'll, you know, reach out to her if there's anything that just you feel compelled to reach out, please do so. I know that Lorna would love to have, um, even if it's just a conversation, just to learn more or whatever. But I want to— Lorna, thank you so much for being here. Uh, heroines, thank you so much for watching, and I guess we will, uh, catch up very soon. So thank you.

Thanks, Alex.

Thank you, Lorna.