Alexandra NielDivorce Recovery Coach, ANiel International, LLC. · I help women who held it all together through divorce finally build a life that’s actually theirs | Thrive After Divorce

Give Yourself Some Grace #shorts #divorce #separated #giveyourselfgrace #mistakes

15 Jul 2024 · 1 min

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In this personal reflection, the speaker describes how self‑criticism intensified after her divorce, turning into an obsessive habit of beating herself up over past actions and perceived failures. She realizes that she would never speak to an external enemy with such harshness, prompting a shift toward self‑compassion. By learning to extend grace to herself, accepting mistakes, and committing to not repeat them, she embarked on a personal‑development journey. Twelve years later she is in a long‑term, fulfilling relationship that feels perfect for both partners, illustrating how choosing growth over self‑punishment transformed her life.

Chapters

How often and how hard do you beat yourself up? I was already good at beating myself up before my divorce, but after my divorce, I became an Olympian. I beat myself up over what I could have done, what I should have done, what I didn't do, and it turned into a habit. And one day I was so mean to myself that it stopped me dead in my tracks. I would never speak to my worst enemy the way I was talking to myself, so why was it okay? But over time, I learned to be kinder to myself and to extend myself some grace. It's okay to make mistakes. The key is not to make the same mistakes again and again and again. Getting divorced is what started my personal development journey. Today I'm 12 years into a relationship which is everything I've always wanted. We're not perfect, but we're perfect for each other, and that is because I chose to learn versus beating myself up.