In this self‑help video, speaker Alexandra Niel explains how to shift from the anxiety‑driven Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) to the more peaceful Joy of Missing Out (JOMO). She first defines FOMO as a constant comparison to others that can either motivate or, more often, create chaos and inadequacy. She then introduces JOMO as a mindset of being present, enjoying one’s own activities, and feeling comfortable with disconnection from the external world. Niel outlines the benefits of JOMO: deeper self‑knowledge, better listening to one’s body and intuition, stronger connections with others, and improved emotional and physical well‑being. She provides concrete practices to cultivate JOMO: (1) disconnect from social media using “Do Not Disturb” mode or time‑limit apps, (2) stop multitasking to act with intention, (3) practice mindful sensory engagement—especially during meals, (4) use quarter breathing (4‑4‑4‑4) to calm the nervous system, and (5) spend daily time in silence to hear one’s inner voice. Throughout, she shares personal anecdotes (e.g., falling down the TikTok rabbit hole) to illustrate the challenges of constant connectivity. The video concludes with an invitation to adopt these habits to experience the joy of missing out.
Chapters
If you've been living in a constant state of FOMO, maybe it's time for you to transition into JOMO. Stay tuned, find out what JOMO is and what you can do to actually get there. We all know what FOMO is. FOMO is the fear of missing out. FOMO for me invites chaos, it invites uncertainty, it invites comparing yourself to other people and very often not feeling adequate in terms of where you are in, in your own life, right? It can be a very positive thing if it helps you to do something and to get motivated to do something that is going to be supportive to who you are and what you want to do in life. But a lot of times FOMO is actually— doesn't work in your favor and doesn't support what you want to do. So what JOMO is, is the joy of missing out. And the beauty behind this concept of the joy of missing out about is that it, it's about being in the moment. It's about enjoying what you're doing without worrying about what everybody else is doing. It's about feeling connected to what you're doing, and it's also at the same time about feeling disconnected and being okay with that, right? Because what happens when you disconnect from the— let's call it the outside world— is it allows you to kind of sit with yourself. It allows you to listen to what your soul has to say. It gives you a sense of fulfillment that you wouldn't normally have if you were operating from a perpetual sense of FOMO. So what are some of the benefits of JOMO, right? So basically, time on our own is a gateway to en— I'm going to say enlightenment, more like insight and self-knowledge. The more time you get to spend with yourself, when you don't have that constant bombardment from social media, the digital world, you learn more about yourself. You learn to listen to your body. You learn to hear what your soul has to say. It's a very different dynamic, and it really deepens our connections with not just the world but with the people around us, and it brings us more joy, right? In a world where we're connected 24/7 through technology and we can mindlessly go down the TikTok rabbit hole, which I'm the first one to admit has happened to me, you need some of that solitude. Because when we spend time by ourselves, like I said, we get back in touch with who we are, uh, And we can start to— when we listen to our body, we start to know intuitively what is right for us and what is not so right for us, what sits well in our gut versus what doesn't sit well in our gut, right? So we learn to listen to ourselves. We're not constantly distracted by the world around us. It also helps to improve our emotional and physical well-being. It helps us to feel recharged because we're not constantly glued to some kind of an electronic piece, and it allows us to take a break from technology and choose things to do that are actually making us feel fulfilled, whether it's picking up an instrument that we haven't picked up in a while, sitting there and just enjoying our food without interruption and without, you know, TV being on, without feeling like we have to fill in that space because we're so used to constantly having, having those interruptions. So what can you do to start to live more in that JOMO? And it's something that especially if you're feeling like you're unfulfilled, being able to bring in more of that stillness and that quiet and that introspection is really going to help to make you feel like you start to understand a little bit more about what's working for you and what isn't, right? So how do you do that? First thing, start disconnecting more often from social media. When you're working on something, put your phone on do not disturb so you don't get the constant notifications. Be mindful of your digital consumption. You can actually download apps that you program and you tell them, I'm going to spend this much time on Facebook, this much time on Insta, this much time on whatever, and when you reach that threshold, it actually shuts down. So it— you're not just left to your own devices of willpower and discipline. You have tools that you can use that can actually help you to do that. Stop multitasking. Multitasking is a way to do things just automatically instead of doing things with intention. When you're fully present in the moment and you're doing things with intention things take on a different meaning. They feel different because you're actually absorbed in what you're doing. And when you start to notice how things work and how you do things, you start to get back some of that sense of fulfillment. Another thing you can do is focus on your senses. So when you're eating Eat, don't watch TV. You know, you're eating a peach or piece of, you know, a piece of bread, you're eating whatever it is you're eating, really enjoy it, taste it, savor it. And instead of eating, eating, eating, not thinking about how much you're eating, and then 20 minutes later when your brain tells you, hey, I'm full, you're way past capacity. So being able to focus on— and it's not just our sense of taste, but it's our audio, it's our visual sense, it's, um, our physical touch, right? So all of those things, being able to focus on one thing at a time really, really makes a difference. Another thing that you can do is use quarter breathing. And what quarter breathing entails is that you'll Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and hold for 4 counts. That's why it's called quarter breathing, is because you do 4 activities or breathing activities in one, in one go. That helps to kind of get you settled in as well. And the last thing you can do is try to spend more time in silence every day. We're so bombarded all the time with, you know, the TV, the music, in the car, in the airplane, in wherever it is that we are, with all of the stimulus that we, we stop listening to ourselves and we stop hearing what our best self and what our deeper person, our soul, has to say. So being able to step into the state of JOMO, the joy of missing out, is one way that we can get back into the moment and get back into the present. So that's what I wanted to share with you today. I hope you found it helpful, and I will talk to you soon.
