Healing From the Soul | How She Transformed Her Life After Divorce and Trauma
In this conversational interview, host SPEAKER A welcomes holistic healer Judith Ritchie to discuss her life story and the spiritual practices that helped her transform after a painful divorce and a “Dark Night of the Soul.” Judith describes growing up in a small Texas community, raising five children as a single mother, and later marrying her current husband. In 2008‑2009 she hit a personal breaking point, realizing she had been living by others’ expectations and had never used her own voice. This crisis sparked a spiritual awakening that led her to explore essential oils for her daughter’s ADD/ADHD, pursue multiple holistic‑healing certifications, and become a certified practitioner of Healing From the Body Level Up (HBLU). She also shares her innate intuitive gifts (the five “clairs”) and how formal training amplified them. Judith explains how she took responsibility for her role in her first marriage’s collapse, embraced forgiveness through a soul‑contract perspective, and worked to heal herself and her children, acknowledging past parenting failures and offering a public apology to her kids. She outlines a three‑step healing framework—awareness, breakthrough, transformation—emphasizing that true healing goes deeper than surface‑level therapy. Practical advice for women navigating divorce includes prioritizing self‑care, viewing “negative” emotions as guides, and replacing the word “fix” with “heal.” Finally, Judith promotes a new membership program launching in June that provides daily texts, journaling prompts, meditations, and community support for women seeking soul‑level self‑care.
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Hello, heroines. How are you doing today? I am so excited because I have a good friend of mine, Judith Ritchie, is here joining us today, looking lovely and bright in orange. Judith, how are you?
I'm good. Orange is one of my favorite colors.
So yeah, it's a color I never wear.
I used to not. And then for some reason, if you look in my wardrobe, you'll see lots of orange pieces. So I've accumulated over the years.
Yeah, well, it's a nice and cheery color.
It is, it really is.
So I wanted to bring Judith on because Judith and I have known each other for a little while now, and we've also on and off worked together. I'm part of her manifestation circle, which is absolutely fabulous. But I wanted to ask her to kind of share her story, share where she's from, um, what she does, and then we'll kind of take it from there.
That works. So I live outside of Houston, Texas, in a small rural community that's about 45 minutes northwest of Houston. Um, what's really interesting is this is a well-established community that's been around a long time, and they don't love newcomers. And even though I've lived here since 1995, I'm still considered a newcomer.
Are you serious?
Totally serious. I was at a networking event a couple of years ago, and somebody asked me, well, how long have you lived here? And I said, since 1995, and they're like, oh, well, so you're still a newcomer. And, um, so, um, it's just kind of funny. I do most of my relationship building and connecting online with other like-minded people, uh, because I've, uh, found a limited number of like-minded people here in this area. So, um, that's one of the beautiful things about the world that we live in, because Alex and I and others like us can connect because of, uh, the beautiful technology that we have. So how did I get to where I am? Um, just very encapsulated. I moved here to this little community with my first husband who decided to leave our family, and I stayed here with my children, and I raised 5 children by myself as a divorced mother for a few years. Uh, during that time, I met the man I'm now married to, and we'll be celebrating 23 years of marriage this year. Um, and that has been an arduous, long, wonderful, beautiful, messy road, as most marriages are, right? Um, but a really significant thing happened in 2009. In 2008, 2009, I went through what I call my Dark Night of the Soul experience. And if you've been around women and what women go through, you may have heard that term before. I just really hit The Wall. And what the long story short— the short story of that long story is, is that I realized I had not been using my voice to talk about what I wanted in my life. I had been saying yes to what everybody else wanted for me in their lives, not in a people-pleasing kind of way, but more of a submissive kind of way. And so when I finally figured out that I could say yes to me and I could say no to other things and really figure out what I wanted in my life, um, that changed everything for me. And, um, I found my way into the holistic world, um, via my youngest daughter who has ADD, ADHD, and dyslexia, and I wanted some methodologies to help her without having to, uh, use traditional medications and things. So I found essential oils, which led me to holistic healing methods, which led me and led me and led me. And so, um, I started acquiring certifications in different holistic healing practices. I became a mindset coach with an international organization. I did some business coaching. I led a mastermind, and then I was introduced to a methodology called Healing from the Body Level Up. HPLU, which absolutely changed my life. Uh, I'm a certified practitioner in that along with several other modalities. And I use this to help people clear the things that we call wounds at the soul level, soul wounds. Um, a lot of people will take snippets of things and they'll do like mindset work, or they'll help you develop habits, or they'll talk about limiting beliefs, or they'll help you work on your inner critic, or, um, you know, they might do a little NLP. Well, HBLU and the other things that I do encompasses all of it. And, uh, so it is a very comprehensive, um, structured, intuitively based spiritual practice to help you heal. And, um, a few years ago, I want to say about 4 years ago, I finally stepped into saying I am a healer. Um, and I'm a healer. Um, I also have a lot of beautiful intuitive gifts, you know. So I have— if you know what all the clairs are, I have all the clairs, you know. I'm clairsentient, claircognizant, clairaudient, clairvoyant, um, all the things. So I can see, hear, feel, and know things on people's behalf. I have a little mediumship ability. I channel, you know. But those are not the things that I focus on. Those are just beautiful gifts that I'm able to use to help my clients heal. And so my focus is helping women in particular who have gone to the Tony Robbins, you know, conferences, who's read all the Brené Brown and follow Gabby Bernstein and reads the books and still are at a place of dissatisfaction with their life, find out what's underneath that dissatisfaction and get to the core of it, because it's stuff you wouldn't even believe, and then get that healed. So that's a little about me and what I do.
And I can, I can totally attest to, um, the stuff that's underneath that you would not believe what it is, because you and I went through a session on Monday. Yeah, I think. And this stuff came up, and I was like, but it doesn't make any sense. And it doesn't make any sense rationally, but it's what's— what my body subconsciously feels. So I wanted to ask you, um, the HPLU, did you use that in your healing, or did you— in your own healing, or did you learn that after you went through your journey?
That's a really great question. Um, so my healing was kind of self-directed, intuitive, uh, I literally, Alex, I literally sat on the couch for 6 months and I did the bare minimum of what I need to do in life. My husband and I were in a very bad place in our marriage. We lived on separate sides of the house. I couldn't get him to leave the house. It was so frustrating because I wanted him to move out and divorce him and he wouldn't do it. So he lived on one side and I lived on the other and I still had my 10-year-old, my youngest of 5 was at home. She was 10. Um, And it was me and God, and God directed me through the healing, uh, the, the beginnings of my healing. And it was really fascinating because there was a pivotal day, a pivotal moment, and now I know what those things are that happened. I got up off of the couch one day, and like in that Claritin commercial, the film peeled back and I went from foggy to clear. And the next minute, I felt a switch flip on my left arm, like a hand had reached down and turned me back on again. And what that was, was my God switch got connected, and I got connected back to divine love. Um, and so it was a few years later that a friend of mine directed me to HBLU because I was already doing healing work. And she said, you really need to go get certified in this, you really need to do this. And it's extensive, it's like getting a a master's or more. There's 6 levels, there's postgraduate work, there's, you know, all the things. So over a course of about 3 years, I got all the certifications. Um, so it was both. Yeah.
And do you find that your— the different aspects of spirituality that you talked about, the mediumship and the— all the clairs and everything else. Did you discover that through your training, or did you have the beginnings of that and the training helped you to kind of amplify everything?
The latter. I already had things going on, and it was really funny because when I went to my first training class for HBLU, that was pre-COVID, uh, and so we went in person, uh, and I was the only non-medical or licensed therapist non-medical doctor or licensed therapist there. I'm— there's about 25 of us in the country that are certified at the level I'm certified at, and I'm one of the only non-licensed people that's certified in HBLU. And they would be talking and they would be using industry jargon, and I just knew things intuitively. And they'd use a term and I went, oh, that's what that's called, I do that. Oh, that's what that's called, I do that. And so I started putting it all together as I went. Yeah.
Okay, now that's cool. That's cool. I also want to go back to what you said earlier about you said yes to— not from a people-pleasing person, right? But my question was, did you then also say yes because you just didn't know what you wanted?
No, I think it was more of a, here's the track, here's what you do. Kind of a thing, you know. And when I look at my divorce from my first husband, for many, many years I blamed him because he had an affair. But the healing moment was when I realized that, well, I said yes to that marriage, so I was 100% as responsible for our divorce as he was. And so the track was go to high school, graduate, go to college, get a teaching degree, get a job, get married, have kids. Be a wife, you know. Okay. And so it was like, check, check, check, check. Oh, what's next? Oh, this is the next thing, right? And that was kind of how I lived my life. It was like, oh, your parents want you to do this? Well, you say yes to this. Your husband wants you to do this? You say yes to that. Your new husband wants you to do this? You say yes to that. And it wasn't— I didn't realize that I could have a voice. I didn't realize I could say yes to the things that I wanted. And I thought Well, those things are coming up because that's what I'm supposed to do, and so I need to be a good girl and get those things done.
So the conditioning was strong within you?
Pretty strong, yeah, it was, it was pretty strong. Yeah.
So, you know, the, the, the ladies in the group, our heroines, are all, you know, have gone through divorce or going through divorce or have are separated from a long-term relationship. You talked about because you made the choice to marry him, you were also 100% responsible. So he was 100% responsible. You were also 100% responsible.
Yes.
So how did you make that switch? Because I know when I went through my divorce, I went through a period of it was all his fault and I did everything I went. You know, I, I could to save the marriage. And then I was like, seriously, like, it's two people, right? So we all have a part of responsibility. And so was there a trigger event? Was there a moment where the light bulb went off? Or how did you come to accept your role in what happened?
So that was a process versus a one-time moment. And the process started when I was sitting on the couch those 6 months, in the fact that because of my spiritual leanings, I knew forgiveness was a very important part of what I needed to go through. However, I wasn't ready to go into that space yet because I had so much anger and resentment and hatred and, um, all of the things connected to what I had gone through and what he put my children through. Um, and so I just prayed one day and I said, look, I know I need to forgive this person. I'm not capable. So I invited Spirit to come in and stand in that space of forgiveness for me. And I would say it took me many, many years to get to that place of forgiveness where I was willing to be forgiving about that. And as I grew to understand And I'm going to get a little existential here because this is really how it, how it evolved for me. How when I grew to understand that we're eternal souls and we're in this journey for our souls to grow in wisdom and knowledge, and you take in the things like the contracts that you make before you get here and the agreements that you've made and the choices that we have in this lifetime to benefit our soul's wisdom and knowledge. And I took that on for myself and realized, well, I made choices and I made agreements and I decided that I needed to do this, but so did he, and that both of us were equally culpable. That was when I got to that place of forgiveness, because we all have our stuff. I say it more explicitly in my sessions, we all have our stuff. And not only did he have his stuff that led him to make the choice to have an affair and leave our family, but I had my stuff too. And that's when I was able to get to that place.
Yeah, that makes— yeah, I can, I can totally see how that, that would develop. Um, children, yeah, are generally caught in that crossfire. Right, I know I— we were caught in the crossfire of my parents' divorce. I thankfully did not have children, although that is a piece of the relationship that I had to grieve, knowing that that would— was not going to happen. I look at what my boyfriend has gone through with his family, or his former family. Um, how did you manage that relationship with the children and the dissolution of the relationship while continuing to nurture and, and support your kids as you were going through that?
Not well. Okay, so this was before I had my spiritual awakening, and I was just strictly operating from ego. And so I was just doing the I was just going through the motions of taking care of kids, and there are times I was a horrible mother. My ex-husband terminated his parental rights on my kids, so it was just me, uh, for many years with them. And I also got pregnant while we were getting divorced. It's kind of a sorted deal, um, because I was raised you don't get divorced. And so he kept pinging back and forth from me into the mistress, and I got pregnant, and that wasn't a planned pregnancy. So here was, uh, in, and in Texas you can't get divorced while you're pregnant, so I had to wait until I had his baby. So I'm here, I've got a newborn infant and 4 kids that range in age from 8 to 17, and I'm getting a divorce, and I'm it. I'm super mom. And I didn't have a clue, Alex. I mean, I did so many things wrong, and I love my children so much, and there were times I was such a horrible mother, and I've lost a relationship with one of my children because of that. My oldest daughter will not speak to me. We haven't spoken in 13 years. She has 3 children who don't even know I'm alive. And, um, the other 4, we've all made our peace. And, you know, one of the gifts for me from working with women who have gone through things like, you know, mother wounds and father wounds and listening to their things was they kept saying, I just wish I could hear my parents say and then they'd fill in the blank. So a few years ago, I— all the 4 kids were here, and I called them into my room and I said, I have some things I want to say to you. And I just told them, I said, I acknowledge that there were times I was a horrible mother, and I acknowledged that there were times that I didn't do a lot of things right. And I just acknowledged a bunch of things. And I said, I just want you to know I love you, and I ask for your forgiveness. And they were so gracious. Some of them were a little shocked, and they didn't really have much of a response. I know it meant something to him because we've talked about it since then, but, you know, they said, wow, that was really brave of you to do. And I think that was really healing, not only for me but certainly healing for them, right? Um, and I've seen the effects of what the divorce has done to my children. But here's the cool thing: because of the healing work that I do goes up ancestrally, it goes down ancestrally, and it goes across tangentially to the people you're in relationship with. So my children benefit from the healing I have done and I continue to do, and I see evidence of it, and it's just a beautiful, beautiful thing.
So learning from your experience, if there was one piece of advice that you could give to women who are going through this difficult time and who have children, what would be the one thing you would want them to know?
Take care of your shit. I mean, I don't even have a better way to say it because it's kind of like you put yourself last because you're doing all the things, and that's to your detriment, and that's to your family's detriment. And, and Divorce is hard and it's hurtful and it's painful, and it, you know, it brings up a lot of things. And some of the things you don't even know what it's bringing up, you know. And so take care of your stuff, take care of yourself, go get healing. And I'm not talking— therapy is fantastic, and therapy is a great place to find awareness. Therapy is generally not a healing space though.
So it's more surface, right? And you're talking about doing the healing like at a deeper level, right?
At a deeper level, yeah. In fact, I have therapists who are my clients. Okay, but therapy is a great place for you to go. I have a little 3-step process that I identified in the work I do. It's awareness, breakthrough, and transformation. And breakthrough is a real buzzword in the personal development world. Everybody's like, oh, I need breakthrough. Yes, you do need breakthrough, and you need to get to that last step, which is transformation, which is where the healing happens, right? So, you know, bring your awareness to— awarenesses to me. Let's figure out what your breakthroughs are, but let's do the healing work, okay?
Yeah, yeah, because just sitting with the breakthrough doesn't whatever is cooking underneath.
It doesn't. It doesn't. And, and, you know, I, I do a lot around journal prompts, and I'm starting a membership next month, and one of the things that's going to be in that membership is journal prompts for you. But that's part of that awareness process. You know, you really need to get real with yourself. It's just you and the paper. Be real about it. You know, put the facades aside, put the ego aside, just get real. And then look at it and, okay, now where do I go from there? Uh, if I may, I wanna say one thing this morning. I was working with a client and she said, uh, we went through a process and it was very impactful and powerful for her. Um, and I always collect what I call learnings at the end of my sessions. These are the ahas, the takeaways, the I didn't know that kind of things that come up. And one of her learnings was Fear is my friend. And, uh, when she had finished giving me her learning, she said, that's— I don't understand this, fear is my friend. And I said, fear and anger and betrayal and despair and grief, all, all these things we term as negative emotions, which are really just low vibrational emotions, they are your friends because they're like the roadmap to healing. Because when you can connect with those and you can get real about what's showing up through that, it gives you the path to follow to the healing.
Yeah, they're the stepping stones, right? Because whatever you push on, if it hurts, it's a signal that says, ah, you gotta fix that.
Well, okay, so, ma'am, May I just spar with you a second?
Yeah, sure.
I would encourage you to remove the word fix from your lexicon.
Yeah.
And, and use the word heal.
Heal.
Because fix implies we're broken, and we are not broken. We are not Humpty Dumpty. We are wounded, and wounded people can find healing. Broken people cannot.
You know, there was a reason why I used that word, because it's never a word that I use.
And so there you go.
And today I did.
Yeah.
So there was a lesson in there to be, to be shared. Um, so thank you for pushing back on that, Judith. Uh, anything else that, um, you would like our heroines to know that you think is worth sharing that we haven't, that we haven't touched on yet?
Well, can I do some shameless self-promotion?
Absolutely. And you know, you, you're going to be able to put your links and everything else in, in the comments anyways, but go for it.
So, uh, one of the things I realized that I needed when I was going through my healing journey was I needed support. And I went to bookstores and I talked to pastors and I tried— and, and this is back in 2008, 2009, believe it or not. Personal development world really didn't, really didn't exist at that point, you know. And if you went to look for things about healing your marriage or healing after divorce, it was all about how to be a better wife, how to be a Christian wife, how to be a, a, a helpmate to your husband. And I was like, no, I don't want— I need to know what to do for me. And so what I have come to discover is that women desperately are looking for support. And I have created a membership that I'm launching in June that's going to be for women, for support. And it's going to be those deep dives into the things that nobody else is, is pushing you on. No one else is giving you an opportunity to get into. So it's going to include really juicy journaling, uh, prompts. It's going to have meditations that are going to really hit you, you know, and, and really speak to what's going on with your heart. Uh, I'm going to have healing classes that are available for us and so much more. And then one of the things I'm most excited about is every day you can receive a text from me that's going to have an inspirational thought or quote or a way for you to start your day. And for my, uh, when you sign up with me, the first month is free, and then you'll have the ability to, to continue that on a subscription. And then I'm going to be dropping different courses in for my membership members, and so they'll have the opportunity to take advantage of those too. And I know that that's going to be supportive because we need support and regularity and rituals. Those kinds of things are supportive for ourselves too. So I'm gonna circle back to what I said about take care of yourself, and this is just a beautiful way to exercise some self-care on a very consistent and regular basis.
And I like that you used self-care in this context because I think for many people, self-care, it's many pedis and massage and things like that, but it goes, it can go so much deeper than that. And really go, going back to using your words, really that self-care more at the soul level than, than at the surface level. So thank you.
Yes, yes, I agree so much. And just like I taught you how to muscle test when we work together, I'll be teaching everybody who has a How to Muscle Test, because I'm going to tell you something: we have the wisdom within us. We have just not been taught how to connect with it. And just like I did so much of that healing in a self-directed way, um, I can help expedite that for you through the practices that I'll be bringing. And then when you really want to do the deep dives, and that's the one-on-one with me.
That's awesome, Judith. I want to say thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. Heroines, if what Judith shared with you resonates with you at all or piques your interest, Judith will throw her— all her information and ways to reach out and things like that in the comments. So don't hesitate to reach out to her and You can see why I enjoy spending time with Judith so much is because she and I are both very much in the community piece and the support piece, because we both feel that it's something that we very much need. We're so used to giving, supporting other people that we forget that we also need to do that for ourselves. So just a little bit of additional encouragement to not think that taking care of yourself is selfish. It's, it's a must. It's something that really needs to be prioritized. So on that note, I'm going to let you have a fabulous afternoon.
